‘Break from Self’

When you are truly disappointed, your pride is being broken. To live humbly, your spirit doesn’t break because you totally live without expectations from others. This is extremely hard to do. Jesus lived this way.

Break from Self
acts of striving
to be the best
coupling a measuring tape‒
with nothing's less
we're all equal
at the chest
trying to master
that combined mess
blends the actress
and the atheist
as on the television set
lies the biggest contest
of who's the best
in their grammy/emmy
a mixed message‒
for the children
no less
the no-bullying suggest
being popular‒
just puts you in distress
you are great
the way you are
listen baby‒
mommy knows best
in comes analysis
social-networking manifest
popularity obsess
turned pages‒
back on around
putting all in distress
adults striving for the impress
‒no matter the ingress
in restaurants, in stores
in cars, on sofas
at dinner tables
in picture shows
in meetings
...instead of listening
heads bowed in finesse
worshiping the wrong
their faces lit up in oppress
steadfast...control in progress
by techno enchantress
without the notice
of the children's ingest
look around...see antagonist
maybe even anarchist
showing off, talking smack
not seeing the coming
all lost in worded protest
but ignoring‒
the true test
all lost in pride's zest
missing the true axis
‒that of being honest
no matter the aggress
no matter‒
of being thought of less
to win some dumb
popularity contest!
now  forcing of‒
family breakfast
homeschooling apprentice
and lunch and supper‒
no need for a request
‒it's a forced togetherness
revealing each's humbleness
in their heart‒
what really rest
the inside fears‒
being played out
to an extreme neurosis
going in all directions
from the awakened
to the thinkless activist
‒speaking words of useless
'til finally...the mirror
staring back...a witness
no longer struggling
in resist
one by one‒
an understanding
in sacrifice
all this fight‒
pure foolishness
thousands are dying‒
it isn't time for opportunist
or prejudice or capitalist
it's time for forgiveness
it's time for thankfulness
it's time for truthfulness
it's time for healing...in self
the unrighteousness
it's time to empty‒
the foolishness
change to kindheartedness
change to honest
become the witness
to fairness, true justice
erase all the selfishness
come out the wilderness
be relentless
fully understand‒
the meaning of bless
in graciousness

Note: The photograph that accompanies this was taken on March 1. The second angel that has been sent. This one a bit more friendly than the one sent on November 11. You do not have to accept anything that I present to you. I’m not even going to try. I’m just going to present it all to you. And I have on God’s Mercy and the rest of my website keleger.com. It is all true. It is all real.

(April 8)—Yesterday, I made some harsh comments on my Facebook page. Frankly, I’m getting aggravated with Facebook. Not with the people. I love the people. It’s the addiction of a need to be on it that bothers me. It’s not just with myself. I see it with many. What has always bothered me is how people take things serious when it doesn’t need to be serious and when something is serious, they ignore it. Isn’t that odd behavior?

When I sat to write today, it was first the Bible. Proverbs. All about self. For me to relate to you what God is showing me, He makes me look at myself first, then I’m to compare that with the behaviors I’m witnessing and then write about it. It’s a strange occurrence because looking at life in this way, forces me to hate my own self at times because we really don’t understand our own behavior unless we are truly forced to look at others. God has a way about Him that forces this issue.

We, as a whole, really don’t take the time to look at what is being forced upon us. We just act. Equality. Okay, let’s be equal. Obama and all his hypocrisy…leaving the president of the United States a very wealthy man…millions in the bank. But we, the people, are to practice equalism. Everyone gets a prize. While the rich of the country hold contest: the celebrity status is very important to maintain! Have to win that award! Have to sell more than the others! And no one bothers to pay attention to the behavior forced on the masses! Isn’t that something!

So, here’s the proverbs I was directed to this morning:

Concern for Others….Kindness and Mercy

A kindhearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth.—Proverbs 11:16,17….There’s nothing to explain here. Truth.

A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself.—Proverbs 12:10….Being kind always brings kindness back. I haven’t had the pleasure of this because all my kinds was wasted on cruel people, but I can’t say wasted can I? We are put in people’s lives for a reason. I loved. To be loved in return would be the greatest gift for me. I’m still waiting for it.

A righteous man cares for the needs of his animal, but the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel.—Proverbs 12:25….Isn’t that something! The kindest deeds of a person with a malicious heart is still cruel. Why? Because they do it with evil intent. People with malicious hearts don’t do things without wanting something in return. If you hang out with this type of person long enough, it starts to become part of you and if you aren’t careful, your heart can wither. People with malicious hearts don’t care about you. It may appear they do, and you want to give them the world, but you are being deceived in the worse kind of way. Beware of those around you. Of course, God sees all. He knows all. Those fooling you aren’t fooling Him.

The wicked man craves evil; his neighbor gets no mercy from him.—Proverbs 21:10….Yes, every nice thing they do isn’t nice at all. The worse thing I saw a person do is telling me to my face that they loved me one second and the next second sexting another woman! Well, maybe that’s not the worse thing. People that are supposed to love me telling my children lies…that’s got to be the most malicious, evil thing on earth. Well, there are worse things…a lot worse. Things that I can’t bear to speak of. I thank God all the time for protecting me.

Love and Faithfulness

Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for; through the fear of the Lord a man avoids evil.—Proverbs 16:6….I keep talking about this, but it is not really understood. I think the churches really messed this fact up. You aren’t to fear man. It is only God that you should fear. Everything that happens to you happens through God…every good and bad thing. Once you fully understand this, then you are on your way to fully knowing who God is.

Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?—Proverbs 20:6….I keep my argument with God up on this subject. Where, O where, are the persons who are actually faithful? I haven’t found many…maybe not one. It is strange how people claim to love, but they truly don’t understand love. Many love just when things are good. Most don’t love when things change to bad.

Like a bad tooth or a lame foot is reliance on the unfaithful in times of trouble.—Proverbs 25:19….And here Solomon says it! My heart has been broken over and over again because of the unfaithful hearts. People expect you to bow down to them when trouble hits. In divorce, the mother loses all her rights it seems as a mother. I refuse this. I’m not my children’s friend first and mother second. It doesn’t work that way. Just because my ex husband wants to lie and manipulate doesn’t mean I have to shoulder that. I won’t. In the end, that burden falls on my children. I really feel sorrow for this. And it’s something that can’t be helped.

Love, Hatred, and Compassion

Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.—Proverbs 10:12….We all make mistakes. Some keep making them and leave us with this burden of forgiveness on our hearts. And that’s what it feels like…a burden. But then we have to look at our own selves and think how many times we asked for forgiveness.

Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred.—Proverbs 15:17….Better to be poor or struggling than with riches and be surrounded by people who gossip and plot behind your back.

He who mocks the poor shows contempt for their Maker; whoever gloats over disaster will not go unpunished.—Proverbs 17:5….Remember after 9/11 when all those Middle Eastern men were celebrating while people were dying, that’s Satan’s kids. Anyone who says something like, ‘Good I’m glad they are dead,’ or ‘It serves them right,’ are Satan’s kids, or on their way to be Satan’s kids. Anyone who says of the homeless that it’s their fault, they deserve what they got, etc., etc. are just not living the way of God. And those dues will come due.

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.—Proverbs 25:21,22….Give then when it’s time to walk away, God will help you. I condemned myself over and over because I became resentful because people just kept taking from me and making false promises and just taking, taking, not appreciating anything that I gave them or did for them. I hated myself for feeling this way. God even came personally and questioned me directly! Resentment is not a good thing. We should never feel this. Give. They may never, ever pay you back. They may never, ever do anything in return. Expect nothing from everyone. Do. Give. Cherish the fact that God gave you things so that you can give to others. When they over take, God changes the situation. He really does. Wait on Him. Trust in Him.

Overstaying Welcome

If you find honey, eat just enough—too much of it, and you will vomit. Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house—too much of you, and he will hate you.—Proverbs 25:16,17….I experienced this. I was encouraged by this one lady. She called at first. She wooed me into this friendship and at first, I resisted. Then I saw that she was sincere, so I gave into the friendship. Then months into this something happened. She turned. I didn’t understand. I went over and over in my mind, asking myself what did I do. I did nothing. It was her. It was manipulation. I totally trusted one other person after this happened, and the same thing happened. I gave up. I have gone quiet and let the Lord lead me to where He had been trying to lead me for years. I gave into God’s hand. So far, people, all of them, have disappointed me. I keep the honey to a bare minimum.

Concern for Self….Pride and Humility

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.—Proverbs 11:2….This is what God is wanting to teach all of us: Humility. He usually breaks us to humble us. It’s a hard process, especially when He’s dealing with a prideful man and that is what these verses focus on. Pride always crumbles.

*Better to be a nobody and yet have a servant than pretend to be somebody and have no food.—Proverbs 12:9….This is where God has been leading me for most of my life. I always had this dream of being this famous writer, building this big, huge house and having lots of friends and things. God says, ‘No, no, Karen…you are not of the world.’ And I’m a nobody with a servant: Him! The second part of this verse, the no food part, the food is not the stuff we put in our bellies. No. It’s what we need for our hearts to be whole. The word my little lovelies…the word of God.

One man pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth.—Proverbs 13:7….I’ve seen this as well. Why lie about who you are and what you have? I always thought it would be great to be rich. I envied those who had a lot of money. I don’t anymore. Oh, I still wonder, but I don’t envy. When God gives us more, we are expected to do more and our tests are harder. There’s another type of rich that I do have. It’s a spiritual kind, and the expectations on that is high as well. So, be careful what you wish for. Most of the time, it’s better just to be comfortable with what you have. Be happy and enjoy the life God has blessed you with. Strive but do it humbly.

Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.—Proverbs 13:10….I’ve watched many a prideful people and God’s put me in positions where pride played a factor and I raged, then He brought me down to my knees, ‘Karen, what are you doing?’ I had to look at myself in the mirror and scold my own self, ‘Girl, this isn’t you!’ And it takes that in order for us to see the truth in ourselves because pride makes us blind to our behaviors. Someone else has to shake us up, and most of the time that someone is God!

The Lord tears down the proud man’s house but He keeps the widow’s boundaries intact.—Proverbs 15:25….I was part of this. My marriage and divorce. Nineteen years of trying to make my ex see himself. Inside of my heart I knew what was coming. I knew that God would discipline him and me, but mostly him for neglecting what was right before him, for not appreciating all that others did for him, for not being happy for what God gave to him. I didn’t know that he would turn around and blame me and treat me so harshly, but as the proverbs above say, in times of trouble the unfaithful will reveal their true selves. I’m considered the widow. God has protected me. He brought me to where He needed me then He brought me out and provided for me. There could be a time when I won’t get the money I get anymore. I just have to trust in God. It’s the best way.

The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.—Proverbs 16:5….These are the people who hurt us, who can’t say, ‘I’m sorry, I was wrong.’ God is watching. He sees all. Just do your part. It hurts. It does…but remember the prize you are seeking. That’s worth all the hurt in the world.

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.—Proverbs 16:18,19….That’s when that proud face sinks to despair. I’ve seen it. Not nice. I’ve felt it. Devastating. That’s the process of God humbling us. Trust Him.

Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud. Before his downfall a man’s heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.—Proverbs 18:12….God reveals this to us again and again in the Bible. Plunder is stolen goods…in any form. To be honest seems to be hard these days, but I understand. God has put me in situations where I made the wrong choices, too. But we have the chance to redeem ourselves…it’s a hard road but it comes if we choose it.

God came to me a few nights ago and said, “I am Relent!” He said it twice, very loud. He’s giving us all a choice to choose Jesus. He’s prepared in every way to forgive. This was a week ago. He already knew what you all would do. His wrath is far from over. But you don’t believe this is all because of His anger. You don’t believe because you don’t know HIM because your man-made churches lie to you! You are given the gift to be able to read so that you don’t have to rely on others to learn who God is. Do your own self a favor and sit and read the word yourself! It is so apparent how many of you were led astray by bad shepherds! Jesus is waiting for you to repent before it is too late!

It is not fitting for a fool to live in luxury—how much worse for a slave to rule over princes!—Proverbs 19:10….Think about that! Then examine your own life.

Who can say, ‘I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin?’—Proverbs 20:9….No one can say this.

Haughty eyes and a proud heart, the lamp of the wicked, are sin!—Proverbs 21:4….Haughty means arrogantly superior and disdainful. Have you ever witnessed this? I have. It is really sad when you see this in people with no higher education or common sense, and they are yelling at you acting all smart and bad like the world revolves around them, not even caring about what they are doing, nor fearing what the Lord will do when they face judgment. It is really sad. You already know where they are headed and when God rescues you from them, it is even sadder because then you know the truth…you were right.

The proud and arrogant man—’Mocker’ is his name; he behaves with overweening pride.—Proverbs 21:24….I lived with this type. And no matter how much of a good heart you have, you can’t change the heart of a proud and arrogant man. What’s sad is that they will turn around and project their character traits onto you, and have you spinning in a swamp full of lies before you realize it. When you finally surface, your heart breaks knowing their truth. In my heart, I pray that God fixes them. I think they deserve it. I think everyone deserves a God fix!

Humility and fear of the Lord bring wealth and honor and life.—Proverbs 22:4….Not the kind of wealth you might be thinking. It’s a better wealth.

It is not good to eat too much honey, nor is it honorable to seek one’s own honor.—Proverbs 25:27….This is another personal one for me. I write, but I’ve learned I don’t need to be celebrated for what God has me writing. I  wish I had more human support, but the spiritual support I have is overwhelming and unbelievable at times. My honor is the prize that I seek more than anything in this world: Entrance into the Kingdom!

The sluggard is wiser in his own eyes than seven men who answer discreetly.—Proverbs 26:16….A sluggard is a sluggish, lazy person. God hates lazy people. I’ve been around people like this all my life and can’t understand it. I tried it. I did. I went months just laying around watching T.V. Of course, I had David telling me to rest. I did. I got so bored. I got so out of shape. I am so out of shape. But I’m the type of person if I could work every minute of every hour, I would…because I do what I love. Those who are lazy…they didn’t further their education, they don’t read books, they don’t try to better themselves…oh, but they know everything! And they are the first to call you a miss-know-it-all! I had one say that I slept with my professors. I had one say that I was screwed when I paid to be educated. I was told the education system lied to me and that everything that I every learned was a lie…this coming from someone who finishing high school was questionable! So don’t trust lazy people. Don’t trust people who do nothing but play on their phones. They are just fools.

Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips.—Proverbs 27:2….I’ve lived with this as well. People that glorify their own life and it’s all a lie. The most interesting people I’ve had the pleasure to have company with were the most successful, intelligent people I’ve ever met and not one word about their education or millions came out of their mouths. Those are the ones that deserve praise. Or the ones who help in hospitals and nursing homes. They never brag about what they do. Isn’t that something!

The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but man is tested by the praise he receives.—Proverbs 27:21….This is huge! If someone praises something you do, will it boast your ego? Will your pride grow? Most do. This is a huge test! Be very careful to remain humble when people praise things you have done. Say thank you and end it. The worst thing you can do is let it go to your head.

A man’s pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.—Proverbs 29:23….When you are truly disappointed, your pride is being broken. To live humbly, your spirit doesn’t break because you totally live without expectations from others. This is extremely hard to do. Jesus lived this way. Try not to be so prideful that you waste your life in depression. Instead, put that pride under your feet and do what God wants of you.

Author: k. e. leger

I'm a writer.

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