‘Death Groom’

Death Groom
 
it fell on their lips
‒a rehearsed transcript
among themselves
alone...in their thoughts
 
truth has its way
in profit
‒thoughts in doing it
everyone goes through it‒
doing away with toxic
beating it with a stick
in their face...spit
yelling at them
calling them dick or bitch
 
‒thoughts of the innocent
roaring out in conflict
then to God†‒
an all-in-it submit
 
it's what truth does
in contradict
that which adds to affliction‒
the afflict
reasons to be called
dick or bitch
 
I've been the victim
in the script
among evil's summit
the test in transit
‒taken almost..to it
 
places...playing out‒
taking me to the pulpit
with lies on their lips
their eyes following a skit
‒they were going to do it
 
but something stopped it
not once, not twice
but thrice
I was the object of it
I was the bait in trick
 
but He† stopped it
took me out of it
as they paid for it
sunk deeper down
into it
‒for even thinking it

Note: The Dragon and the All-Seeing Eye…October 23, 2019. I read in places where people associate the dragon with evil. God says, ‘I am.’ He is ALL things. He says, ‘I am the dragon.’ And He has sent the dragon twice. I didn’t go looking for this. David tells me when to go take the photographs. God sends what He needs us to SEE. If you see it, you are open to Him and know Him. If you can’t see, you are veiled from the truth because your heart is full of scars. If you want to be unveiled, you have to do the work of unveiling yourself! It IS that simple.

(June 27)―Things were revealed to me about my life this afternoon. I sort of knew this, but wasn’t sure. Now I know. After the revelation, I was instructed to write about it then I’d be shown the Scripture, hence, ‘Death Groom’. After I wrote it, ‘Open the book,’ and ‘Jonah’s Prayer’!

Jonah’s Prayer—From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. He said: ‘In my distress I called to the Lord, and He answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help, and You listened to my cry. You hurled me into the deep, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me; all Your waves and breakers swept over me. I said, ‘I have been banished from Your sight; yet I will look again toward Your holy temple.’ The engulfing waters threatened me, the deep surrounded me; seaweed was wrapped around my head. To the roots of the mountains I sank down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But You brought my life up from the pit, O Lord my God. When my life was ebbing away, I remembered You, Lord, and my prayer rose to You, to Your holy temple. Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs. But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to You. What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the Lord.—Jonah 2:1-9

My Lord brought me through all of what He put me in, as He used me as the ultimate test for others. The ex husband, the plantation and the sweet man were the three ultimate tests. Sure, there were an amazing amount of tests for me, and I, too, had to go through this ultimate test, but not like these three did.

I went on a boat ride through the swamp. I sat in between two of the most ruthless people I have ever met. It would have been easy. I was shown how easy it would have been. They had it planned. Was I the first? I don’t know…but I was a challenge they were going to take on. Something stopped them. This was the reason they took me on this ‘swamp tour‘…I grew up in swamp land. It wasn’t new to me, but they acted as if it were. Simple really. They had something else in mind.

Truth. Why hate someone else because of your own truth? If you are gay, homosexual, why hate others because of who YOU are? This has been the ultimate experience for me. I watched that movie about that football player who killed his brother-in-law. They never did say outright why because they’ll never really know, but the implication was there. He was molested when he was a boy and then he got that confusion set in that he like it. That is normal in all boy rapes. It’s medical actually. And after that…he liked being with boys. The draw back: He didn’t want anyone to know. Why? SHAME! That’s what confusion does…it adds shame. That’s confusion’s job. The only way to deal with it is to tell what happened to you…to get it out in the open! Most boys who are raped don’t ever get it out in the open…SHAME!

I don’t know why God put these types in front of me. All I know, is that He did. Did anything of this nature ever happen to me? No. That’s the whole point. I was to point these things out in the people who were raped or traumatized as a child. Did I do a good job? Hell to the no! There were so many of them. And they kept coming from when I was a young adult in the military on, these traumatized individuals kept making their way to me. I didn’t know how to deal with them. I don’t think I was suppose to. I believe they kept coming because God wanted me to SEE and learn what childhood trauma does to an adult.

The one thing that I did learn for sure: They hate anyone who wasn’t traumatized. In fact, they fantasize killing them or hurting them. It takes their own pain away. And if the fantasizing isn’t enough, they DO things to hurt this person. I know best because I was the bases of this hurt for many. Even my own sisters who knew of childhood rape and did NOTHING about it! Instead the focus became ME, a person who did nothing to anyone. All these people who experienced rape, kidnapping, severe abuse…came into my life and then hated me because I didn’t suffer such crimes.

I always had God protecting me. Why hate another person because they never suffered in the same way? Do they not know that it was their test and the ultimate test of their abuser? Their only job was to heal and/or help others heal. They failed. It wasn’t my fault that they failed. Then God sends me to address these issues before their time comes so that their hearts heal and they get into the kingdom, and they hate God for calling them out…but they don’t think it’s God. All they see is ME! So, they completely shun me, ostracize me, hate me…ALL because God revealed His love to them by asking them to heal so they can entered His house! Isn’t that something!

It is the same with the visions and the dreams. God loves humanity so much that He is sending warnings through me. Why me? The testimony. I did what He asked me to without question. Sure, there was yelling, screaming, complaining…but I still did what He asked. That’s why. Did what He ask hurt? Yes. In more ways than I could ever write about. Why did I suffer intentionally? Because God asked me to do something. He didn’t say it was easy. He didn’t say the reason. He just said, ‘Write.’ He just said, ‘Stay.’ He just said, ‘Look.’ All I knew is that it was from Him.

I don’t understand the weakness in people who say they know God, they know Jesus. If they knew them, they’d follow their simple command: Love. But they don’t’ know. I grew up in a place where we went to church every Sunday. I went to religion class and church functions. My mother made sure all of us girls knew Christ and God. How come I am the only one who learned the truth? How come I saw and my sisters didn’t? My mother saw. I know she did because that day I sat in that church and stared at her on the altar in that casket, she passed something to me. I had part of it already but she passed the rest of it to me that day. There’s no denying this. Do my sisters and the rest of my family hate me because I received this and they didn’t? I don’t know. All I do know is that after my mother’s death, my world opened fully to the spiritual world.

Truth. I’ve written many times how people kill and hurt others over lies they tell. When people are lost in the dark, they can’t face the shame of the truth. And…THIS is what God wants! He’s demanding it.

There are things I did in my past that I’m not to happy with myself about. The hardest thing I ever did was having to face them with God directly involved. He made me feel the guilt, the shame…He still does. That doesn’t matter…because He MADE me deal! And because of this, no matter what anyone says about me or to me, God cleaned my heart! I had a damaged heart that yielded irregular EKGs from 2014 to 2019. Not anymore! He cleaned my heart. He fixed my heart because I did what He asked.

In reality’s truth, the sweet man can deny what happened in those three years I lived with him all he wants. He can tell all his lies. He can sex up all the women he wants. He can sell his soul back. I know that I saved his soul and all he had to do was what God requested. If he doesn’t, I’ll have to do it and that puts my head on the chopping block even more. It is just the same with my sisters. I didn’t outright call them out on their sin. I was suppose to, but I couldn’t. This will eventually happen. And they will talk and talk and make their case that I’m crazy so that they believe they are not lying to their family and friends. There’s too many people who know what they did. Sooner or later, I won’t be the one to say it because already two of us in my family are made to look crazy, I would have to say three, because of this one incident. Sooner or later, the one who’s responsible for spreading the lies will pay the ultimate debt. I know who it is. I really feel sorry for this individual but this person lied the ultimate lie and caused eight people their honor. There’s another person in this circle: the one who did the DO which caused all of this. That person’s debt is already in the works. I know part of this debt.

You can’t escape GOD! If you think you can, you are ONLY fooling yourself. My sisters…the ultimate disappointment. Why such shame? Why worry so much about what other people think? I have been led to Scriptures over and over about how people used to sacrifice their first born children in fire. And other Scriptures where people became so desperate that they ate their own children. Nothing much as changed. My children, especially my daughter, don’t believe anything I write because of the ex husband, the sisters and others who lied all their lives. I don’t lie. I wrote all my stages of grief. I told the truth of my journey. I didn’t lie about my journey. Those who live life through shame…lie, manipulate, con, steal, kill…and they don’t have to kill the body to kill the soul. And those I have had the pleasure of knowing, have killed many souls.

I don’t plan on taking any souls. Ever since a child, I’ve been saving souls, planting seeds for the Lord. Doing God’s work may look evil, but only to those who love the dark. Doing God’s work is hard. And many times in history…ALL history…those lost in shame hate those doing God’s work. We suffer because they like the dark.

Me? I’d do it again. I wouldn’t change a thing because I was honest, because I kept my pure heart no matter what God had led me into. He kept me from harm. He protected me. And this is the truth of how God feels about me. This isn’t arrogance. This is being bold in the Lord. The Almighty Lord saved me. The Almighty Lord provided for me. The Almighty Lord moved me to do His work.

If this wasn’t so…I’d be starving in a ditch somewhere. God doesn’t award unsaved sinners with spiritual blessings. He awards those who are willing, free-will, to do the work required and make the sacrifices He asks for. It’s not hard. He makes you cry. He brings on personal sufferings. Then He grants grace. If you are suffering, living in dirt, surrounded by liars and deceivers, constantly unhappy, ask yourself why. And open your heart to the answer. You may not like what you will hear, but it will be the truth for God does not lie! You do your repentance here on earth so that when your body quits, you walk through the right gate! Amen.

The following works are direct writings from God and Jesus, meaning I heard them speak and these words are not mine.

God: ‘His† Pardon‘, ‘I Am Truth’s Voice‘ (both), ‘Spinning Hearts‘ (not yet published), ‘The Lord’s† Will‘, ‘Pleading for Audience‘ (not yet published), ‘His† Time‘, ‘Twenty, Twenty‘, ‘On the Ground‘, ‘From Left to Right’ (not yet published), ‘He† Speaks‘ (not yet published), ‘Who Am I?’ (not yet published), ‘No Exchanges: Your Masks for Mine‘, ‘Noose‘ (not yet published), ‘Death-Toll Rise’ (not yet published), ‘The Seer’ (not yet published), ‘Uprest: Non-Negotiable’, ‘Pillage of Souls’ (2019), ‘A Bid for the People‘ (2019), ‘Brave in the Snatch‘ (2019, the Bus story), ‘Tests of Worth‘ (2019), ‘A Prophet’s Dew‘ (2019…not yet published), Prophecy’s Awakeness (2019…not yet published)

Jesus: ‘The Adjunct‘, ‘He† Breathes‘, ‘Rotten Figs‘ (not yet published), ‘Love Exists’, ‘Words’ Song‘, ‘Small Miracle‘, ‘Slow it Down‘ (not yet published), ‘Smells of Manure‘, ‘The Sound of Songs‘, ‘Blessings‘, ‘Failure’s Birth‘, ‘His† Fellowship’,

‘You’ve Come‘, ‘Stamped Heart‘ (not yet published), ‘The Clown‘, ‘My Feet‘ (not yet published), ‘Foreseeing’s Agony’, ‘Decided‘, ‘His† Spirit’ (2019).