‘Dried-up Noise’

Note: The photograph that accompanies this work was taken October 15th when God sent the Phoenix, the symbol of rebirth. This photograph is another example of God’s energy. He manipulates the green Orb to reveal His footprint!

 Dried-up Noise
  
 the voices tingled in my head
 repeated phrases it said
 words in condemn
 words in criticize
 words in broken malice
 –bringing my heart to dread
  
 I listened for a time
 put it in rhyme–
 to draw lines
 –casting it all aside
 then pulling it back inside
  
 all those words–
 written and said
 words people used as led
 drowning me in their dead
 –pounding me over the head
  
 for those words...out...I bled
  
 laying on my bed
 not kneeling beside
 laying...in stillness
 staring out...in semi-light
 –this blank picture
 in...did reside
 wondering about all these lies
 asking:
  
 'what's the point...why
 what's the hard...in kind
 –where folks don't even try'
  
 crying my eyes–
 'til they were red
 all that noise...all of it–
 poundings of syllables
 over each...my heart–
 continued in bled
 –over lost thoughts
 I became wed
 pondering the breaded words fed
 covering me with their heated lead
  
 then it began to happen

 unknown masked covers–
 I began to shed
 piece by piece
 stripping them off of me
 laying them out on the table–
 carefully examining them–
 debating if I wanted to keep 
 this one or that one
 yelling at some
 praising others
 –laughing over the fun of some
 agreeing with those
that led to hard lessons
 ridiculing those
that made me feel
silly and dumb
  
 across the table–
 all of them I spread
 some: kept me above water
 in tread
 others: mended brokenness
 with the tinniest of threads
  
 some: out of me...came the best
 others: made me sit back in rest
 while still others:
 seemed only to be a contest
 lost in a conquest
 of an enjoyable fest
 –those brought out the sexiness
 ending in me being less
  
 through all of them–
 came an abundance of noise
 shaking up my poise
 trying to sink in...my voice
  
 so I had this choice:
 picking through each–
 as they laid there
 on this simple table–
 used to wine and dine
  
 no, not I...it wasn't the time
  
 as I looked at each–
 I slowly awakened from blind
 moving from this carefree feline
 to something more magnificent
 –not a lioness falling in line
 but more of the spectrum
 of a roaring lion
 –taking that dried-up byline
 'I am fine'
 to something closer to divine
  
 each little façade
 that set up a moment's drive–
 I began to divide
 'til the table was full of times
 overflowing...actually
 –moments of self
 I didn't recognize
  
 a little...I cried
 I over-indulged at times
 in what I ate
 adding a bit of weight
 –trying hard to saturate
 what drove each mask to sedate
 –what invited in the noise
  
 but that was it–
 I wondered in surprise
 there was no drinking it away
 there was no sexting in obliviate–
 that led to sex in fake
 there was no desiring need
 to get high
 or even serious moments
 of wanting to die
  
 I sat...laid...stood–
 all in unchartered wonder
 asking myself: why
 –I pondered this mystify
  
 from the bedroom to the bathroom
 from the living room to the kitchen
 even the spaces in between
  
 reading social media on the bed
 binging out on the sofa
 sitting at the table–
 smoking cloves, drinking sodas
 fixing coffee in the kitchen
  
 staring at empty space
 staring at all I possess
 singing along to my favorite tunes
 talking it out with myself
 talking it out...to the air
 talking it out with God†
  
 asking over and over:
  
 'what had changed'
  
 wondering, searching
 as I starred down at the table
 then the questions stopped!
 each piece...I began to shred
  
 as each piece met its death–
 its destructive words...fled
 like a menacing rodent–
 they just up and left
  
 something began to happen:
 the table's clutter
 began to become less
 each mask staring back at me
 each tiny piece of each whole
 saddened its face–
 and just up and left
  
 the weight....
 that laid heavy on me
 in rest
 became less and less
  
 'what is happening'
  
 I kept asking–
 without trying to answer
 in guess
 words just didn't come
 instead...something unknown:
 in self...less and less
 I wasn't anymore feeling–
 like a guest
  
 the words that once
 tingled my head
 the words that I pondered
 –brought me to dead
 just left
 without...anymore...contest
 over which ones–
 I dreaded...would be next
  
 not anymore
 came a need to call
 came a need to text
 came a need...up...sex
 came a need...words in fed
 –sit around and dread
  
 empty...the table–
 bare and neat
 all that laid on it
 –without fighting
 I let go: shred
  
 I looked in my bathroom mirror
 –there she was
 the one...behind...I'd left
  
 on my face...added lines
 in my hair...a silver shine
 oh my! all that time
 –my she was always
 waiting inside
  
 I stood there...listening
 nothing
 just memories of dried-up voices
 –all that...with me...toiled
 finally became soil
 beneath my feet!
  
 out of blind....
 there's nothing in front of me
 but time
 unknown, undiscovered
 but...still...time
 –a newness in divine
 that I didn't know was mine! 

(January 1, 2020)―I was led to Ezekiel this morning. The Parable of the Cooking Pot caught my eye. (I will explain it below.) I read it, then asked, ‘What to write, my Lord?’, but I was empty for a while. ‘The heart’…were words that kept coming through. I sat there for a while…still empty,  then ‘Dried-up Noise’ bled on the page.  It’s truth. Yes, the continuing story of my own life being used as a symbol of life in a way. And…God: After writing this and typing in the parable, I was led to read more, then type in the rest of the Scripture under the two titles: ‘Siege of Jerusalem’ and ‘Siege Announced to Ezekiel’. It gets even more interesting: I’m directed to read the explanations by my Bible’s commentarians. I’ve read all of them once back in 2007, and since then, I’m not compelled to read them over often or include them in my commentaries. Today, was different. For good reason. God is answering me in a very big way!

It’s an odd thing really. I’ve been feeling like I’m  being held in the in between of something. I haven’t really written about this emotion because it’s hard to explain or, rather, I’m having a hard time understanding it myself. But…there it is in ‘Dried-Up Noise’! and today’s Scripture. I’ll explain what I’m told in the notes below:

‘Siege of Jerusalem’

Rebellion Against Babylon—He also rebelled against King Nebuchadnezzar, who had made him take an oath in God’s name.—2 Kings 24:20b; 2 Chronicles 36:13a; Jeremiah 52:3b (590-589)

Siege of Jerusalem—So in the ninth year of [King] Zedekiah’s reign, on the tenth day of the tenth month, Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon marched against Jerusalem with his whole army. They camped outside the city and built siege works all around it.—2 Kings 25:1; Jeremiah 39:1; 52:4 (588 B.C.)

Notes: Okay, historically what is happening here is that the kings go to war: That’s the king of Judah (Zedekiah) and the king of Babylon (Nebuchadnezzar). This was already written in prophecy and there it was happening. God at work. He’s doing what He said He’d do. And to enforce His power and ability, if the people didn’t get it: that prophecies were being fulfilled, God does the profound! It’s what He does at the same time, the exact same time this battle begins…like the very same day…that is most amazing.

The Siege Announced—In the ninth year, in the tenth month on the tenth day, the word of the Lord came to me: ‘Son of man, record this date, this very date, because the king of Babylon has laid siege to Jerusalem this very day.’—Ezekiel 24:1,2 (588 B.C.)

Notes: The above Scripture and what follows is Ezekiel writing and proclaiming the EXACT same day this war begins! Pay attention. This is how God works! The commentarians of my Bible explain:

‘A most amazing thing happens on the very day of the siege, in the ninth year of Zedekiah’s reign, in the tenth month of the tenth day. Some 300 to 700 miles away from Jerusalem, in the city of Tel Abib, near the Kebar River in Babylonia, the prophet Ezekiel is told about the siege. No messenger of Ezekiel’s day can deliver news that quickly! None, that is, except God Himself. And here is what Ezekiel is told.’―The Daily Bible, In Chronological Order, 365 Daily Readings

In Ezekiel’s time, there were no telephones let alone faxes, email, texts…internet! There were no cars, jets, planes or trains, no motorized vehicles period! So, can you see the significance of what happened here? Both accounts were dated, 300 to 700 miles in between the two events! Ezekiel told the people what was happening, wrote it down without any way of knowing by a telegram that it was actually taking place as he was proclaiming it!

…record this date, this very date…As He instructs me to record all dates, as well as date everything I write.

Parable of Cooking Pot —Tell this rebellious house a parable and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: ‘Put on the cooking pot; put in on and pour water into it. Put into it the pieces of meat, all the choice pieces―the leg and the shoulder. Fill it with the best of these bones; take the pick of the flock. Pile wood beneath it for the bones; bring it to a boil and cook the bones in it. For this is what the Sovereign Lord says: Woe to the city of bloodshed, to the pot now encrusted, whose deposit will not go away! Empty it piece by piece without casting lots for them. For this blood she shed is in her midst: She poured it on the bare rock; she did not pour it on the ground, where the dust would cover it. To stir up wrath and take revenge I put her blood on the bare rock, so that it would not be covered. Therefore this is what the Sovereign Lord says:  Woe to the city of bloodshed! I, too, will pile the wood high. So heap on the wood and kindle the fire. Cook the meat well, mixing in the spices; and let the bones be charred. Then set the empty pot on the coals till it becomes hot and its copper glows so its impurities may be melted and its deposit burned away. It has frustrated all efforts; its heavy deposit has not been removed, not even by fire. Now your impurity is lewdness. Because I tried to cleanse you but you would not be cleansed from your impurity, you will not be clean again until My wrath against you has subsided. I the Lord have spoken. The time has come for Me to act. I will not hold back; I will not have pity, nor will I relent. You will be judged according to your conduct and your actions, declares the Sovereign Lord.’—Ezekiel 24:3-14

Notes: A reminder that I was led first to this parable, read it, then wrote ‘Dried-Up Noise’. I didn’t ponder over the parable. I just read it then put it aside. I really didn’t want to write about disaster or sadness, not today the first day of the year. It’s bad enough that I spent the holidays alone. I wanted to write something happy to start this new year off. The voyage through my self-discovery and the destruction of the fears of self that came out in ‘Dried-Up Noise’, I wasn’t expecting; neither was I expecting the true meaning of the Scripture and what God led me to! He awes me every time!

Woe to the city of bloodshed, to the pot now encrusted, whose deposit will not go away! Empty it piece by piece without casting lots for them. For this blood she shed is in her midst…The eagle again. It’s done too much damage to its people and others. It was supposed to set an example. It was supposed to be the good flock. Now, people fear it in the wrong way. Now, it kills to keep its secrets and its money. It’s taken the ways of the crown, that which the eagle originally fled from and desired to follow God’s law. It has lost its way and failed. The eagle leaders have failed more and more as time’s gone by and this has angered God. It’s too late, too much damage has been done. It will fall piece by piece. It will be broken up, separated…no longer whole for its sins are too vast.

She poured it on the bare rock; she did not pour it on the ground, where the dust would cover it…(Pointed out to me.) The eagle has shed too much innocent blood. Too many of its flock are wrongfully accused. Its injustice has caused many to sin. Its righteousness has withered. Its idols are vast. It holds too many secrets in the dark. It’s lost its way. It’s forgotten about God and all He is. To stir up wrath and take revenge I put her blood on the bare rock, so that it would not be covered…What is going to happen will be the makings of the Lord. He will send the wrath upon the eagle. He will shake it up and then you will know that it is Him.

I, too, will pile the wood high. So heap on the wood and kindle the fire. Cook the meat well, mixing in the spices; and let the bones be charred…Read the Bible. Learn who God is. For He is about to rock things in a mighty way. Feed the hungry souls, help them make the right choice. Help as many as you can heal.

Then set the empty pot on the coals till it becomes hot and its copper glows so its impurities may be melted and its deposit burned away…Notice: the sentence before this, there is meat in the pot. Now it is empty. What happened to the meat? Something is going to get emptied and it involves the eagle. There’s a cleansing coming and it won’t be by man.

It has frustrated all efforts; its heavy deposit has not been removed, not even by fire…Everything that God has tried to do, Himself and through Jesus the Christ, the eagle hasn’t listened. All the times He has shown His wrath in small pieces: hurricanes, fires, earthquakes, volcanoes, tornados…that’s just His nature wrath…nothing is changing. People go to Him when events happen, then they soon turn back to their ways. The eagle has allowed corporations to take over prisons, schools, hospitals, churches, governments…this is greed, this is the prince of the earth. Too many children are dying. Too many people are suffering illnesses because corporations have overpriced medications. Too many people are homeless because corporations have overpriced housing and insurance companies are dictating who dies and who lives. He speaks, but no one is listening. They will.

You, God’s people, aren’t defending yourselves. You, God’s people, are allowing this pillage. You aren’t healing. You are allowing yourselves to be controlled by corporate manipulation.

Now your impurity is lewdness. Because I tried to cleanse you but you would not be cleansed from your impurity, you will not be clean again until My wrath against you has subsided….So, since you won’t get right with God, He will forced the strife until He sees you make an effort as nations. All nations. Not through violence, but through love. Anything done in violence is your choosing and it’s the wrong choice. His wrath is upon everyone and you have a choice to make. His warning is soon coming. You will know it is the Lord. There will be no mistaking.

The time has come for Me to act…The visions. The pictures. The messages…I will not hold back; I will not have pity, nor will I relent…This He has shown me in the visions. And He has told you through me in direct messages. They are written out on the visions‘ page, as well as in the commentary of numerous works on this site. I do not have the resources to spread these messages around. They are on here. They are dated. That is what I’m supposed to do. After His warnings, you will understand.

You will be judged according to your conduct and your actions, declares the Sovereign Lord.’….As I said many, many times before, He does NOT change. Two gates are opened wide. God’s time is NOT our time. I do know He gives us time to get right. It’s totally up to you.

The commentarians of my Bible further explain:

‘Following this word about the beginning of Jerusalem’s siege comes one of the most disturbing accounts in all of recorded Scripture. It is nothing new for God to provide signs of His working. Ezekiel himself has enacted many of these signs in the presence of his people and provided the interpretation for their edification. And it is nothing new for God to require great sacrifice on the part of His prophets. But God now brings a sign which requires the ultimate sacrifice of Ezekiel. As a sign that there is to be no mourning for the lost of life when Jerusalem finally falls, God actually takes the life of Ezekiel’s wife!’―The Daily Bible, In Chronological Order, 365 Daily Readings

Edification: (noun) the instruction or improvement of a person morally or intellectually.

Death of Wife—The word of the Lord came to me: ‘Son of man, with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears. Groan quietly; do not mourn for the dead. Keep your turban fastened and your sandals on your feet; do not cover the lower part of your face or eat the customary food for mourners.’ So I spoke to the people in the morning, and in the evening my wife died. The next morning I did as I had been commanded. Then the people asked me, ‘Won’t you tell us what these things have to do with us?’ So I said to them, ‘The word of the Lord came to me: Say to the house of Israel, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I am about to desecrate My sanctuary―the stronghold in which you take pride, the delight of your eyes, the object of our affection. The sons and daughters you left behind will fall by the sword. And you will do as I have done. You will not cover the lower part of your face or eat the customary food of mourners. You will keep your turbans on your heads and your sandals on your feet. You will not mourn or weep but will waste away because of your sins and groan among yourselves. Ezekiel will be a sign to you; you will do just as he has done. When this happens you will know that I am the Sovereign Lord.’—Ezekiel 24:15-24

Notes: ‘…with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears. Groan quietly’…I’m told this as well…do not mourn for the dead…He says this in the visions, and I’m personally told that I can no longer attend funerals. God says over and over that He is not the God of the dead. That means to the dead corpse and when you go down into the darkness. I will keep repeating this because it’s very important to understand: when you fall, when you hit rock-bottom, God leaves you. He gives you a choice: Ask or not. When you ask, God and Jesus returns to you. And your ask has to be true, from a sincere heart. If your heart isn’t sincere, back around you go!

So I spoke to the people in the morning, and in the evening my wife died. The next morning I did as I had been commanded. Then the people asked me, ‘Won’t you tell us what these things have to do with us?’…This is how God works. I have 12 books published and another one in the works that reveal this. This was all done to reveal how God’s process works. These books aren’t like other books and that is because they are how God wanted them. People are criticizing this work…all because the prince of the earth does not want what God wants. Yes, there are forces that work against Him…HE LETS them! Nothing is more powerful than God. This you need to understand. It’s all part of the process to see if you, each one of you, is worthy of His house.

So, as He has done with all His prophets, He does with me. In all the work that I have on this site and in those books, you can clearly see how this works. It wasn’t until 2019 that I knew for sure because He spoke to me directly for the first time. Before that, I did the work on strictly faith, and being rewarded each time I got weak…those testimonies are in those books. This process that I wrote through has everything to do with each person on earth. Every single person experiences the five stages of grief. God put you through this…your death…then you rise…your resurrection. The mind is messed with. You lose things. You lose people. You get sick. He does all of this to humble you or to humble others around you. To test your heart to see if you will still love Him through the process or turn on Him. It’s your choice. And…you may go through a number of these big tests…that means your heart is worth a lot to Him.

I am about to desecrate My sanctuary―the stronghold in which you take pride, the delight of your eyes, the object of our affection…His sanctuary…it’s not a building. It’s people…His creation. In the visions that He sent to us, modern times, He shows this to me. The amount of dead bodies I saw, I can’t even relay. Millions…millions. He’s had me write about this rapture, which the bodies remain, only the souls leave, a number of times. I’m not writing this out of my imagination. I’m writing this as messages from God…and I’m sorry, He has sent no witnesses to me yet. There’s no one else to testify to what I’m hearing or what is happening to me. For now, I’m kept to myself and I have to write these messages so that they are dated. I keep saying this because this seems really important that you know this.

You will not mourn or weep but will waste away because of your sins and groan among yourselves…He’s saying do not worry about the ones who die, the dead bodies. This is very important to Him. As in the visions that He has sent (have you guessed yet that He really wants you to go read them!), He hates monuments. He hates anything dedicated to dead people. As it is explained to me, the soul…that which is inside of our bodies is what is the actual life of us. Our bodies are just shells. When our bodies stop working, however it stops, it was already meant to stop. We served our purpose on earth. Our bodies stay. Our souls go to either the light or the pit…God’s kingdom/house or the pit and wait until Jesus wins against all death, i.e. sin. By waste away…He means you cry because of guilt that you caused someone who died. You really don’t mourn for them anyway. You mourn for yourself and all the things you didn’t do or the bad that you did do.

And just to make things clear: He says this twice, so it IS important! In the visions, He showed me what He expected people will do. He showed me, after the warning happens, all the cars driving away from the strife. This is what He is expecting and this is a judgment mark that will go on each person’s heart who does this. What He wants is a different choice: You going towards all the places affected by this warning and helping in any way you can. This doesn’t just go for my country, but to ALL nations! He wants you to care about life instead of death. He hates that you put so much money in burying people and building monuments! That money should be going to help those in need: THE LIVING!

Ezekiel will be a sign to you; you will do just as he has done. When this happens you will know that I am the Sovereign Lord.’…Concerning the promise He has made to me, He said this to me as well, that when this promise comes to pass, it will be a sign not only to me, but to you as well. When? God’s time is not ours, but I do know He has sent me a number of signs, as in the photographs I have made public, a set that I haven’t, which I can’t until after the promise is done, and through other means which I wrote about. This isn’t a game. The things that have happened, ever so minor, they happened totally unexpected, totally answering direct requests for a sign…as in the Daisy in the photographs. You may think that’s some sort of camera light trick, but I directly asked David to send me a daisy because I knew they can manipulate the computer…they left a double message on this website back in August, which I did not delete…so I knew it could be done. And they did!

Sign of Jerusalem’s Fall—‘And you, son of man, on the day I take away their stronghold, their joy and glory, the delight of their eyes, their heart’s desire, and theirs sons and daughters as well―on that day a fugitive will come to tell you the news. At that time your mouth will be opened; you will speak with him and will no longer be silent. So you will be a sign to them, and they will know that I am the Lord.’—Ezekiel 24:25-27

Notes: Here is when God sends the message about the war I mentioned above, at the same time this war begins…the exact same day! Through me, I’m to write all that He sends and date everything so that you will know it is Him. This isn’t easy for me. But I’m a soldier: I can’t leave anyone behind if I can help it. I can’t help those who refuse to listen. But I will relay God’s words, so that you can hopefully make a sound decision about where your soul is going!

The commentarians of my Bible further explain:

‘Perhaps Ezekiel’s wife was dying in any event, and God simply used her death as a way of bringing an important message. But that would be highly coincidental and clearly contrary to Ezekiel’s account. Certainly it can be said that Ezekiel is being asked to give up no more than what God Himself will give up one day in order to bring a sign to all the world. Perhaps that itself is the very answer: as Creator of the universe God can and does act in ways that confound men. Death undoubtedly has a totally different significance to God than it does to man. But the immediate mystery is how Ezekiel can seemingly take his wife’s death in stride and continue his ministry. What testimony to any man’s faith this would be!’―The Daily Bible, In Chronological Order, 365 Daily Readings

Yes, God’s ways are a mystery, but I’m learning more and more each day. I debate with Him all the time. I know He disciplines and this frightens me, but I know His love as well, and that He knows all. The questions on death was asked by me, of course, because that is one of the number one questions of all mankind. Children murders was my first: They don’t feel pain. In fact, anyone dying a tragic death, like the woman who was killed when her car smashed under my son’s travel camper then exploding, she didn’t feel that. ‘Everything is not what it seems’…that’s what I keep getting.

So, to me, one whom God calls His prophet, fully understands this immediate mystery of how Ezekiel took his wife’s death calm. He knew like I do. He was personally shown the mysteries of the kingdom. He was awakened to his spiritual guide and he heard God’s voice say his name. I know all of this. I have one up on Ezekiel…I hear Jesus, too.

I can’t say exactly how God chooses His prophets. I was directed to my lineage…maybe one day I’ll fully disclose it, and I was told I chose this. I’ve been shown how my entire life is connected, all the things that I did and witnessed, to where I am right now. So, since I have this direct line of communication (I’m told I can’t know everything for reasons of affecting destiny. believe it or not!), I do ask some hard questions. since I am a journalist by nature.

Why now? was one of my biggest questions. It was explained to me how Jesus isn’t directly coming. For that to happen, all sin has to be under His feet, which means no racism, all Jews accepting Him as their savior (on earth and in the pit), so that’s not it. A cycle is ending. That’s the answer. This isn’t knew to me. He’s been revealing this to me since the beginning…those 12 books…when I ran a political website. The governments know something’s up and they are doing their best to keep all the people occupied, so they can keep control. As I learned years ago, the less people survive, the better for the powers that be. But what they don’t understand is God will choose who will be leaders and who will not. All these people putting money away and stealing from the innocent, shame…to the pit! Trust me…they know! And I would not be surprised if they are hiding my website. My political website was hacked over and over again. They even tried to buy it to shut it down. Then the darkness hit me. Everything happens for  reason.

I’m telling you this because this is real. God is warning you because He loves you. He WANTS your soul saved! So, as always, He’s giving us time to heal. How much time? I can’t answer that. I do know that I’ve been given some direct answers, matter of days, byway of signs I asked for.

Side Note: I heard so much ridicule since I began doing what God wanted. Back in 2012, I called out my ex husband on Facebook. Before this, I was extremely private. So private that when he first attacked me five years before, everyone blamed me! So, when things got weird and crazy and scary, I went loud. I learned something about this. God had been calling me to write and teach for years. I did the political website, but writing loud on social media was NOT my forte. God wanted that bold ‘fuck you’ church to come out of me, so He forced my hand!

You have to step back and look at the bigger picture of things. When you do that, you understand the process of God. Happy 2020. It’s a double number! Pay attention!