‘Dying House’ and ‘Our Last Goodbye’

That Place You Have To Leave!

A sample from Book 6

 Dying House
 
I've watched you grow
together—
I thought we'd grow old
but our lives
have been sold
our hearts broke
our insides
have turned cold
 
your beauty
you're no longer
wanting to hold
 
I must go
it's getting harder
to cope
watching you
slowly corrode
piece by piece
you're starting to fold
this
a heavy load
watching
you turn
from a gentle host
to a heartless ghost
 
no more
are you
my threshold
 
soon it'll all explode
 
for the last time
behind me
your doors
I'll close
with only memories
to be told
 
 Our Last Goodbye
 
I'm shaking inside
oh! what a ride
between
your heart and mine
 
you were built
with love
we fit
like hand and glove
 
my hands now tremble
closer and closer
draws the time
when we'll say
our last goodbye
 
through blurry eyes
I walk your rooms
my heels slowly glide
almost—
an unsteady slide
touching your skin
—this rushing, emotional tide
 
many memories collide
you witnessed
my every side
 
within your walls
I stood tall
you saw me
humble with pride
then you watched
me fall
—victim to a loving homicide
revenge's careful suicide
 
to you
I can't lie
in you
I do confide
within your bones
my will thrived
my imagination
easily came alive
 
you were once
a dream
in my mind
you were my every inspire
it was a thrill
watching you rise
 
you caressed my children
as they grew high
you heard me answer
their every why
you saw me hug them
through their every sigh
then
you watched them fly
 
you saw every transpire
you heard me laugh
watched me cry
you saw love rise
then watched it die
without answers to why
without even a try
 
you saw me
struggle for breath
you saw me strive
to survive
then revive
 
reasons to why
our love affair's denied
mystifies
my deepest I
 
this emptiness—
hard to describe
it's all been crucified
—slick and sly
 
we're now down
to our last lullaby
our together forever—
nullified
that final day
will soon arrive
when behind me
I'll close your door
say
our last goodbye

(September 13, 2013)—In the stages of grief, you have to come to terms with a lot of things. In divorce, there’s a lot of grief. It’s a death. A real death. To properly heal, you have to take back yourself. As my therapist says, I need to go through everything and ask myself did I get this for me or for us. If the answer is us, get rid of it. She meant everything, even the pantry and frig. Then that final decision, the house. I love my house, but I can’t stay.

I pray whoever ends up with it, loves it as much as I do. I love the bayou. I can’t stay. I have to separate myself from it all in order to find the total of me. Saying goodbye to a house that you built from the ground up, watched it take its first breath, well, it’s not the same as giving up a house that was already built. I put a lot of love into my house. I made it a home, and it will never be the same without me.

Sometimes, call me strange, but it feels as if the house is crying. That’s where the last [two] poems I posted ‘Dying House’ and ‘Our Last Goodbye’ comes from.

I’ve written about this house before but not like this. It was meant to have life in it. I know some day it will see its completion and love will grace its walls once again. But for me, it’s time to move on. The boxes are stacked and waiting to be packed. Soon, it will be time to go. The next chapter in a writer’s life is about to commence.

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Author: k. e. leger

I'm a writer.

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