‘Looking Within’

A sample from Book 10

 Looking Within
  
 it's not to your treasures
you are bound
 look carefully around‒ 
is your heart sound
  
 quantity of possessions
 do you measure
your worth
 all your journey's identities‒
 do you take pleasure
now...from your birth
 is that the quality
your only creation
  
 all your roads traveled
 of life‒ 
are you still baffled
 wishing‒ 
you were still
in the cradle
 wishing‒ 
on no experiences
to tattle
  
 is it no more a mystery
 your back there history
  
 for every lesson
comes a reason
 for the next season
  
 round and round
goes the merry-go-round
 'til no more
you see the clown
 never lost, never found
 stuck in between
that round and round
 not seeing the lesson
not rightfully sound
  
 'til it comes from within
 the stuck
always in begin
again and again
  
 so sad at the end
feeling still in begin

(November 29, 2016)—The blog is coming…slow, mind-bogging, aggravating…the books, too. Who cares! All I have is time. What the hell’s the rush for anyways?! Live your life. It’s all about being a woman. It’s all about loving yourself just the way you are. Anyone who can’t comprehend that can take the bus!

To all you guys who appreciate a good woman (all of her—emotions, baggage, cries and laughter, ass-hole family members, etc., etc.), you are a good man. Stay like that. There are so very few of you. Those other guys, they are complete morons.

If you want something, desire something and you’re constantly looking at all the negatives and seeing all that’s wrong, then nothing will ever be right for you. All those couldà, shouldà, wouldà’s…(even for myself)…they’ll never help you reach your full potential, what you should be.

Do you relate to ‘Looking Within’? Really. Do you? One of the best books I’ve ever read was The Secret...another book Proof of Heaven…written years later…proves it to be true. Books are good for something. They help you grow. Look within.

There’s too much murder, hate, and evil in today’s world. Too much! If you say you’re this way, but act another way, then you are just the same as those creating this hell on earth. Change starts with you. One wondrous change brings another and another…my heart cries for the beauty inside people who can’t see it for themselves. Look within.

The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.—1 Samuel 16:6-13

Hence, the poem ‘Looking Within’.Positive. It’s really hard to be positive for a lot of us this time of year. Especially, those of us up in age and have lost so much. It’s a sensitive time for us. We don’t want to hear what’s wrong with us. We need…need to hear what’s right about us. So, when we can’t get it from those around us, we need to do it for ourselves, which, sometimes, is even harder.

To me, in all that I’ve learned…47 years is a lot of learning…I’ve witnessed the actions of others and their words (myself included). When that hatefulness comes through, it’s not about you, it’s about them. You can’t change a person. You only can change yourself. Meaning, you only can grow in life through what you do, not what others do.

I like to make people happy…it’s my nature, but I also have this woman side of me. You know…I am a woman. I don’t think men get this part. I’m not dumb. They do get the breast and the rest of the body. The easy stuff. I’m talking about a woman’s emotions. We were given this really deep-set type of emotion because we bare children. We have to be open to these emotions in order to raise these children. (I’m very aware of those women who aren’t born with this…this is not about those.)

As mothers, we teach our children certain values: How to be respectful to others, how to clean themselves, how to do things such as the dishes and such, how to say I’m sorry and thank you…those really important things that make us into who we are. I thank God for my mother. This past week I was faced with the certainty that she, indeed, did her job well. I will always be grateful for the values she’s taught me.

A woman is a very special human. I’ve written this many times: She will do anything for you if she’s treated right. She will close the hell down when she’s treated wrong. A woman can take a lot. Her shoulders may be smaller than a man’s, but they are way stronger. A good woman is priceless.

If you don’t value her, it’s your loss not her’s. She will cry and suffer the loss, but sooner or later, a good man comes along that sees her value. She’s tough like that because once that good man finds her, she’s already raised herself up. She’s learned the tricks of the trade. She’ll deal if that value-seeing goes down, but not like before. Understand that and you know a woman.

Why am I talking about this? Because, even though you say women are liberated, we are not. You talk about slavery and all that bullshit and want others to feel sorry for how you are treated as a man. You have no idea how a woman feels.

Still today, she is still being controlled no matter her color: She is still expected to bow-down, she is still expected to follow man’s orders (rules), she is raped, beaten, killed, held hostage in human-trafficking…and you turn the other cheek. You are a hypocrite. All this race bull, that’s about you men. It has nothing to do with us women. We are still suppressed! You can argue this point until you are blue in the face. We are still suppressed!

Don’t tell me about God. Don’t tell me about Jesus. I get so many men on my personal page preaching. I have one guy sending me Scripture for some world Christian order, and, then sends me a message about dating! Really?

I’m a sinner. I’m not righteous. I’m not ignorant, either. Jesus felt deeply for those in pain. So much so that He suffered ridicule, hate, and was murdered for His personal love for others. It’s written in the Bible that those who suffer here on earth have a place in heaven because those who suffer learn what life is truly about, learn how to love the deepest. That says a lot about a woman.

For those carrying your racist bull shit, God doesn’t approve of that. What you mask on the outside does not covet what’s on the inside. That’s what God sees. That’s all that He sees. You can mask your true self all you want. It doesn’t matter. He sees all the same. Hate only breeds hate. Anger only breeds anger. Stop trying to be rich or popular and start living the Word. That’s when good things come, then your ending will be satisfied. If you don’t understand that, then you are still stuck back there.

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Paperback: The Metamorphosis of Self—Political Charms…Looking at Life on the Outside while Enjoying Life on the Inside Book 10

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