‘Mistakened Weakness’

Mistakened Weakness

tragedy struck my inner self
no blood or guts
no...it was worse
‒betrayal by those
in trust

I was weak
‒for a moment
I pivoted
stripped all love's endowment

but your strip of me
came way before‒
when I left home
got out
on my own

we always bickered
you and I
you never told me‒
giving me reason to stay
so I left
‒I went away

then…you canceled me out
just like that
I became replaceable
forgettable

it all made me strong
living on my own
crying 'til dawn
a little lost sheep
gone

I grew and soared
‒through all of it
even war

by myself

I returned to you
I busted trains and plans
all for you
to watch you
say 'I do'

you never knew
the hoops I went through
for you

then it wired down
like normal
me and sis doing our thing
‒it was like
when we were kids
hanging and singing
just being us

but…then
a third wheel returned
then another and another

I never knew
what changed the view
who can throw such a curve
between sisters
‒who has such nerve

I never asked
I never will

I grew weak
a spell or two
‒but just a few

through it all
I stood alone
all own my own

by myself
in stealth

with no one to comfort me
but the one who created me

I learned through misery
love left my family
‒all that I felt inside
was all just for my eye
making me see
how much
none of them knew me

not at all

strength built
through what others' misery
tried to kill

I forgive you
I made it through
all that happened to me
because I let you
get to me

thank you
for hating me
for betraying me

for if you hadn't
me and Jesus†
wouldn't have met
so intimately

Notes: The photograph David chose is from October 7, 2022: Faces. Interesting that David picked this particular day to go with this writing. God’s eyes are every where and this is what this day shows. No matter what you try to hide, it won’t work. At all. So why hide? Why think you can outsmart God? That’s just dumb!

(March 29, 2022)―Today, I was directed to write from the heart. Lately, my little sister has been on my mind. I called her for the holidays. She didn’t answer. So, I left her a message. She never called back.

Again, after the work, I was led to Acts 5:17-6:1-7. After writing ‘To Wait Amongst Men’, I was led to these same pages.

It’s a strange thing when you get older and realize all the things that happened to you, happened for a reason. It is really sad to see people who were taught as you were, who were raised as you were, don’t grow as you did.

The Scripture shows how jealousy works in us and how faith prevails. There is no stopping God’s plans. No matter how smart you are. No matter how much money you have. No matter who you marry or who your friends are. God prevails.

His tests hurt. They do. But He does them because He loves us. Many won’t see it that way. Of course not. They are veiled because their hearts are weak. To look at the big picture is so very hard. But if you are going to get through the hard, you have to force yourself into seeing this big picture. What God has in store for each individual is different than what He has in store for you. Some people are brought together in order to see through the trials together. Others have to walk away from some and struggle and fight through it with others. It’s a choice. And if you listen and learn God, you can hear the guidance that is there for you to make the right choice.

I made the right choice.

Others don’t see it that way. Hate and jealousy and anger and all the other beings that bring a heart to cold work against them. It is their choice to fight these. Pride and ego are some awful beings to have in you, but their job is necessary. They are put inside of you to test you hard. Pride. Damn, to get over that, is hard. I’m going to tell you once you do, life is sweet and easier. It leads you to the ultimate being: Mercy. ‘Something given then something must be given’…Yeshuah’s words to us all. If you get mercy, then you must give mercy. If you do this, it leads to your salvation. Amen.

Apostles Imprisoned—Then the high priest and all hiss associates who were members of the party of the Sadducees, were filled with jealousy. They arrested the apostles and put them in the public jail. But during the night an angel of the Lord opened the doors of the jail and brought them out. ‘Go, stand in the temple courts,’ he said, ‘and tell the people the full message of this new life.’ At daybreak they entered the temple courts, as they had been told, and began to teach the people.—Acts 5:17-21a

Apostles’ Release Discovered—When the high priest and his associates arrived, they called together the Sanhedrin—the full assembly of the elders of Israel—and sent to the jail for the apostles. But on arriving at the jail, the officers did not find them there. So they went back and reported, ‘We found the jail securely locked, with the guards standing at the door; but when we opened them, we found no one inside.’ On hearing this report, the captain of the temple guard and the chief priests were puzzled, wondering what would come of this. Then someone came and said, ‘Look! The men you put in jail are standing in the temple courts teaching the people,’ At that, the captain went with his officers and brought the apostles. They did not use force, because they feared that the people would stone them.―Acts 5:21b-26

Apostles Reject Warning—Having brought the apostles, they made them appear before the Sanhedrin to be questioned by the high priest. ‘We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name,’ he said. ‘Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teachings and are determined to make us guilty of this man’s blood.’ Peter and the other apostles replied, ‘We must obey God rather than men! The God of our fathers raised Jesus from the dead―whom you had killed by hanging Him on a tree. God exalted Him to His own right hand as Prince and Savior that He might give repentance and forgiveness of sins to Israel. We are witnesses of these things, and so in the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey Him.’—Acts 5:27-32

Gamaliel’s Advice—When they heard this, they were furious and wanted to put them to death. But a Pharisee named Gamaliel, a teacher of the law, who was honored by all the people, stood up in the Sanhedrin and ordered that the men be put outside for a little while. Then he addressed them: ‘Men of Israel, consider carefully what you intend to do to these men. Some time ago Theudas appeared, claiming to be somebody, and about four hundred men rallied to him. He was killed, all his followers were dispersed, and it all came to nothing. After him, Judas the Galilean appeared in the days of the census and led a band of people in revolt. He too was killed, and all his followers were scattered. Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.’—Acts 5:33-39

Apostles Released—His speech persuaded them. They called the apostles in and had them flogged. Then they ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name. Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Christ.—Acts 5:40-42

Seven Chosen—In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Grecian Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. So the Twelve gathered all the disciples together and said, ‘It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables. Brothers, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word.’ This proposal pleased the whole group. They chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit; also Philip, Procorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas from Antioch, a convert to Judaism. They presented these men to the apostles, who prayed and laid their hands on them. So the word of God spread. The number of disciples in Jerusalem increased rapidly, and a large number of priests became obedient to the faith.—Acts 6:1-7 (Jerusalem)

You can read all of the visions, dreams and words, as well as see all the images and see the time frame in which they were given by clicking on Message Index.