The Metamorphosis of Self—A Delicate Walk…Fighting to Separate Anger and Codependency from Self
The journey, at this stage in the healing process (from what I’ve experienced), involves a very personal, from way deep inside, punching through the cocoon of our self-made prison that comes with the fight out of codependency to truly feel self, to truly rely on self for happiness, instead of relying on another human being to fulfill our need for happy.
In my personal journey, that fight first began in 2013 when I learned I was a codependent; but I’ve learned before I could firmly work on my personal war with codependency, I had to get through the first of the five stages of grief: Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. Yes, that is the five stages of grief. I’ve come to learn that there are more stages that follow when abuse is involved…ones not readily talked about.
I have been facing them since the end of 2015 head-on in a world mixed in confusion with no absolute way out of it. The biggest of these extra stages: Codependency. It is a battle for each person to decide what they can handle and what they cannot handle. It is an individual journey to recognize when walking in the ways of Jesus turns to the destruction of self byway of other people.
This is what the year 2016 meant for me. I began this journey in 2015, during the acceptance stage. I finally made it to that place where I accepted the fact that I had to start over, that everything that I had before was gone.
That wasn’t the end of the acceptance stage as documented in the many articles I’ve read. I was still holding on to many things: Anger for one, blame, and many material possessions that reminded me constantly of was used to be. I’ve learned that there are parts to this particular stage, as with the anger stage, that we have to move through a little at a time in order to get completely pass these two stages.
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