‘My Magnificence’

 My Magnificence
  
 I drown in my own malevolence
 singing a cadence
 I'm not sure I deserve
 I struggle through my intelligence
 hoping for a bit of indulgence
 ‒just to breathe in competence
  
 but the over-indulgence
 gets the knowledge
 or rather the eye
 ‒a stern hand stops
 my reckless self-indulgence
 even if it's just a thought‒
 the halt comes like a turbulence
  
 I bow my head in an acceptance
 for I sure have an audience
 ‒forever am I trapped in a sentence
 but celebrate in reverence
  
 oh the slightest suspect
 wanting a bit of prevalence
 ‒in any type of insistence
 down comes the hand
 taking my bold nonsense
 placing me in obedience
 ‒keeping clean my conscience
  
 as tears fall‒
 wanting my independence
 my Father† insuring‒
 with a bit of inconvenience
 I remain free of selfish indulgence
 ‒in total acquiescence
 to His† every forward affluence

Note: In the picture that I included with this writing, there’s a genie lamp. I’ve included all the pictures from this day, January 21, 2020 on the following page: June 26: Presidential Wake Vision; April 11: the Jackass Dream; January 21: Aladdin’s Genie Lamp. I’ve explained about the Aladdin lamp on this page as well. It means a lot here when we are talking about God. You can have what you want. Ask. But be sure you know what you are asking. When I contending with the Lord last year, I was angry because He was promising me something I didn’t want and couldn’t, for the life of me, comprehend how it was even possible. So, I yelled at him and said, ‘Make me fat and ugly!’ Yes, I was that angry. And He did. Now, He said to prove to myself I love myself, I have to work for my figure back and He will not make it easy. Be sure you know what you are saying to God before you say it. Be sure you know ALL that involves with what you desire because everything is not what it seems. Example: Fame. Do you know what you seek when you ask for this? You risk the very thing that gives you life. Are you truly willing to risk the light for a few years of everyone knowing your name? Like I said, be sure you know what you are asking for.

(June 25, 2021)—I’ve written before about my weight gain last year. I’ve written how I contended with the Lord and it was like He put a vice on my hips and I couldn’t exercise without feeling this fire in my legs. I’ve written how once I began doing what He intended for me to do, He removed the vice and the fire.

I’ve written how God uses my life to reveal truth. And that I have to write about what He reveals. I’ve written how He fixed my heart because I did what He wanted and wrote how He wanted me to write no matter what people thought of me, no matter what people think of me. I’ve written about it all. I’ve written how He put His hand on me in 2019 and revealed Jesus in a very personal way to me. I’ve written how He’s been sharing secrets to the kingdom with me and having me write about it.

I’ve written about a lot.

This year I’m struggling to lose the weight but I’m not writing about that. I’m tired writing about my life but yesterday He revealed to me that it wasn’t over. As He did to Job and then Paul, He’s forcing my hand wanting me to write about what He is doing to me. So, a week ago I weighed in and I finally went below 200 pounds, weighing in at 197. I’ve been diligently faithful to my way of eating and exercising. And secretly inside I’ve been feeling like I’m getting my sexy back and thinking maybe I’ll date or something. Yeah, right! I completeed a goal I had: Walking over 10,000 steps a day for 30 straight days and stuck to the strict way of eating: All Keto. I weighed in yesterday: 199.8 pounds!

How is that possible? Then the Scripture included at the end of this writing. It was all revealed to me this morning and ‘My Magnificence’ bled on the page. God telling me not to lose myself to worldly desires. Point taken!

The confusion that Jesus has warned us about through me since January 2020 is becoming so apparent. I read the news and I read the way people are thinking on Facebook. Stranger occurrences do happen. The ‘religious‘ arguments will get worse. The misconceptions about the spiritual world will get worse as the world tries to debunk everything the spiritual world sends to protect their illusions. The veils will hold steady. God warned us about this.

And those of us called to service will constantly question our sanity, question those around us, see the reality, see God in everything and plow on even while being judged and ridiculed.

I have a therapist that I see here and there. I saw her yesterday. I live with constant pain so I have to see a therapist here and there…and soon they’ll put me in the pain clinic and deal with people who ONLY deal with people like me. Ms. Katherine is great. She listens and I felt the need yesterday to talk to her about my journey with the Lord since 2019. She already knew I was spiritual so this wasn’t surprising to her.

But there was something she told me that conflicted with what my calling is. I brought up the fact that it is hard to make friends telling people God called me His prophet and I have these visions and dreams and I have to put it before the people. I confided to her about wanting to share my life but how is this possible with my calling and my physical injury. She responded to that by saying I didn’t need to tell everyone I meet what I do. She said if they are curious about me then they will discover things on their own.

I am employed to plant seeds in any and every way possible. I’m to give to everyone ALL that the Lord and God gives me. I tried to question this. I even questioned myself. When I first questioned myself about not doing this, by just ignoring what I was hearing, do you know what happened? This isn’t a joke: I was directed to Jonah and I even wrote about it. Fact! He showed me that He backed me into a corner as I use to tell my kids when they were small. He has provided a paycheck, a home, healthcare. He has given me everything I need to sustain a life and do…DO…what He has asked me to do: Write for Him and plant seeds that He can grow!

I cannot NOT do that!

I say to anyone who denies God: YOU ARE A FOOL!

‘My Magnificence’…Any time I get prideful, God pulls something from me. He puts a hold on me. As Paul has written: He’s a prisoner of Jesus. I fully understand what he means. God holds us back, those He calls to do certain things for Him, in order to keep us from sin, in order to keep us right in the light to do what He needs honestly without ego and pride. I.E….No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.—1 Corinthians 9:24-27

I was told that I can have my figure back but I have to work for it. Do you know what I did after my divorce when I got this little hot body? I fucked. That’s right! I am a sinner. I flirted, sexted, drank, smoked, cursed, did ALL the sinful things someone does in the God Process! I was in the Dark! And I called…asked. And He heard…came. He said I needed to know what sin was, truly was, in order to do what He needed me to do: Write about the God Process! He said forgive Him as He had forgiven me. I have because He did.

So He brought me full-circle, the completion in a sense but not humble. He told me that I am humbled but not totally. He cannot do that. When I asked why, He said because prophets can’t tolerate sin and aren’t supposed to. They are to rebuke sin and those who are lost in it and that means losing patience at times. When I was leaving my therapist’s office yesterday, she said that sometimes it is required of us not to be patient, to speak up and not be so nice. I knew that God was speaking through her immediately.

One more than to consider and know that it is fact: Truth: When you are saved the second time, what Paul speaks of below, you don’t want to sin and when any desire creeps in, God squashes that shit! Fast! Being saved…or being baptized. First by water then by the Spirit. By water is easy. By the Spirit is work and it’s hard and it’s crippling in a way because He makes you see YOU and then He makes you see how other people see you, what other people did to you and how you responded to that. Being baptized by the Spirit means you have to confess everything out loud, you have to face every single thing you did and every single thing others did to you. Being baptized by the Spirit…brings you to an understanding of Jesus and of God that you never knew existed and He opens your eyes to everything…you clearly see wrong and right, you clearly know what is evil and what is good. And it is sad. And Jesus becomes a huge part of you…you know Him better than any preacher out there. And you work for Him and you cry but you are honored and you can’t deny Him. And you know the truth. And you don’t have time for silly unbelievers. You just keep talking because the truth is on you and sooner or later that seed is going to get in. And you are going to save not lives, but souls…the jest of what truly matters. Amen.

*Rewards For Giving Up Rights—But I have not used any of these rights. And I am not writing this in the hope that you will do such things for me. I would rather die than have anyone deprive me of this boast. Yet when I preach the gospel, I cannot boast for I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel! If I preach voluntarily, I have a reward; if not voluntarily, I am simply discharging the trust committed to me. What then is my reward? Just this: That in preaching the gospel I may offer it free of charge, and so not make use of my rights in preaching it.―1 Corinthians 9:15-18

*Concession Verses Assertion―Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all these things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.―1 Corinthians 9:19-23

Value of Self-Discipline—Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.—1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Example of Overconfidence—For I do not want you to be ignorant of the fact, brothers, that our forefathers were all under the cloud and that they all passed through the sea. They were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea. They all ate the spiritual food and drank the same spiritual drink; for they drank from the spiritual rock that accompanied them, and the rock was Christ. Nevertheless, God was not please with most of them; their bodies were scattered over the desert.—1 Corinthians 10:1-5

Examples of Self-Indulgence—Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did. Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: ‘The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in pagan revelry’ [Exodus 32:6]. We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did―and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died. We should not test the Lord, as some of them did―and were killed by snakes. And do not grumble, as some of them did―and were killed by the destroying angel.—1 Corinthians 10:6-10

*Examples Are Warnings―These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come. So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.―1 Corinthians 10:11-13