‘Pity-Party Me Not’

Don’t Fall To the Devil’s Trap and Lose Yourself to Pity!

A sample from Book 8

 Pity-Party Me Not
save your grace
‒me crying in your face
maybe it's best to walk away‒
not have your good spirits replaced
with my selfish-daunting embrace
don't let me crowd your space
in a lost self-pitying race
I have to find my way
backward steps
not to trace
get up
move forward‒
there's a dream to chase
‒a gift
in my heart
God† did place
in all that oh-poor-me lace
‒wasting day after day
I put aside what's great
for others' self-demeaning fate
‒those who lost faith
not giving time of day
to words God† had to say
that day after day
turned to year after year
willingly serving myself up‒
a circling, dead-horse tray
my own bed made‒
self-pity's prized bait
around and around
up and down
burying my I
around, around, around‒
a circling maze
‒down, down, down
in self-pity I laid
to whomever'd sit and listen
I'd saturate‒
serve self-pity's cake
jump in with pleasure
without thought‒
smothering my I in hate
on self
adding burdensome's weight
flying free
in the greatness of unease‒
my eyes‒
lost in sedate
‒shielded behind bondage's tape
over my happy‒
anger's blackened cape
misery's base
I did drape
I closed all gates
let the sun's ray
slowly sink to night's blackened gray
‒down, down, down
in a mercury-ladened lake
'til I laid in waste
seemingly sealed in a darkened cave
I held on tight‒
my wilderness-mentality trait
fighting against moses' trusting faith‒
doing whatever it took
‒forget heart's break
with constant play‒
attending every sinful date
‒hearing God's† words
refusing to obey
falling down, down, down
not caring what's at stake
from reality‒
wanting to separate
losing to evil's webbing spray
everyone turned‒
from me
ran in haste
'til self-pity became my only mate
then came the day
deep inside me‒
God's† hand began to vibrate
my wavering faith
evil couldn't take
‒mixed-up signals
my heart began to translate
at first
a slow rate
raising from a bottomless crate‒
I began harder to pray
through all my mistakes
for me
God's† patience did wait
cradling me
as I lay
‒drowning in self-pity's tears
softly patting my back‒
knowing how slow this I operates
telling me:
it's going to be okay
take your time

it's your way to make
no matter the pace

it's never too late
‒whatever the case
I'll† help you break

evil's enclosed vase
harder I did pray
hearing clearer His† words
stronger became my faith
'til that magical day
His† light alone‒
out of that darkened cave
my way
He† did pave
here and there
self-pity comes, says hey
for moments‒
I lose my way
but as light as a needle of hay
He† lifts me
‒His† light pours within me
an abundance of rays
blinding evil's come what may
filling me with gentle's taste
‒oranges, apples, grapes
fruits of my labor
the brilliance of grace
my truth in faith
proving to me
nothing stands in my wake
so, each time
I seem to embrace
just give me space
let me alone face
find my own way
backward steps
less and less to trace
each new day
faster and faster
I replace‒
that wilderness-mentality trait
‒evil's webbing embrace
oh-poor-me beckoning date
soon to disappear
without a trace
the deeper I pray‒
quicker and quicker
I re-find my way
with purer, stronger faith
it's not just a dream to chase
it's a gift‒
in my heart
God† did place
so, my self-pity
please don't embrace
turn away
give me my moments
to pray
my special one-on-one date
just me and my Lord†
‒heavy in faith
immersing my I
in words He† has
to say
‒no time limits placed
on days I pray
just know when I emerge‒
I'm stronger
heavily armed in His† way
so each tomorrow
I'll easily face
for I'm endowed‒
smothered happily
in His† amazing grace
Continue reading “‘Pity-Party Me Not’”

‘Brave Hearts’

Before You Give Up On Yourself, Try Practicing Compassion!

A sample from Book 8

 Brave Hearts
(Sweet Man)
compassion takes patience‒
a digging in
bracing-the-heart kind of thing
it's taking all we know
all our experiences‒
good and bad
tossing them out the window
stepping up
‒with another
filling our cup
without needing to know
what's up
it's holding on
through bumpy rides
sitting next to another
letting them cry
it's running out in a street
to someone you instantly meet
offering a hand
‒doing what you can
without needing a return
without thinking you'll be burned
it's meeting anger straight on
‒not moving along
but hitting its head
with praising words said
instead of seeing all wrong
living life selfishly
on our own
it's restraining ones self
‒eager to help
instead of putting those in need
on forgotten, dusty shelves
watching them fall apart...bleed
it's opening our heart‒
trusting in faith
instead of just wanting
to feel safe
it's forgiveness and hope‒
with our warrior ways
away...we chase hate
in another's eyes
sadness replaced
with just our smile
showing a will to walk along
no matter the struggle
no matter the miles
it's bringing joy
to another's face
instead of disappearing
without a trace
compassion is pure heart
God's† way‒
‒showing the hard
the light
of a million stars
He† passes it to each of us
free will
a choice
love or hate, run or face
fight or lose
‒to be silent
or our voice‒
freely use
it's easy to walk away
to say
farewell...good day
lose ourselves
in our self-made cave
‒our forbidden world of safe
it's hard to stay‒
hang to faith
forget the comfort zone
‒through adversities
use pure heart to sway
lift our heads
give it to God†
let Him† light the way
compassion...our gift
to share‒
not to spare
‒to show we truly care
in happiness, in despair
here, there, everywhere
it's not a switch
to turn off‒
when we deem fit
to put individual needs
in moments
when well doesn't fit
it's a constant wave of heart‒
for it to spread
we must honor
words we said
we must release anger...hate
release places of safe
those lost from self
‒open our hearts
let it be felt
pay it forward‒
then in each
God's† reward
unconditional love
‒experienced here on earth
our awakened dreams
plus a full, peaceful cup‒
a beautiful seeing of life
where only glows
God's† pure light
without even
having to fight
Continue reading “‘Brave Hearts’”

‘Wasted Not’

That Pain Is Not Wasted!

A sample from Book 8

 Wasted Not
you look at me
what do you see‒
an empty hole
or pieces
put back to whole
you hear my voice
what's your choice‒
to fold
let truth unfold
or close
grow lower and cold
here's what I see
when I look back at me:
a woman lived
gave all she could give
then betrayed
left to be reborn
on an empty tray
when I hear my voice
‒read my words
only truth heard
shaking within
for granted...taken
all that I've done
all that I've become
grew from life lived
around lies
I survived
around hate
I lived another day
I have made mistakes
I've learned
no longer living fake
as the world turns
as time ticks on‒
leaving me alone
no longer burns
for life I yearn‒
no longer anger's will
I'm concerned
I am wasted not
for my trust in God†
untied all the knots
nerves quaking
to give a new year
all I've got
look at me
hear me
turn your head
for I am not dead
with or without you
I'm living this one life‒
shadowing all fears‒
my own way
without one word
for you to say
too late
you've paved my way
yes, shaking
but open and ready
for a brand new day
Continue reading “‘Wasted Not’”

‘Hype Me Up’

We Women Just Want to be Hyped Up!

A sample from Book 7

  Hype Me Up!
take me out of myself
‒off this shelf
teach me to laugh‒
spread my cheeks
show my teeth
help me burst through
show me happy's view
that's all
I'm asking of you
open these doors
lift me off the floor
give me off-the-wall reasons
‒smiling without ending seasons
I just need a little help
to be more than myself
show me what life is like
without all the hype
give me a chance
to really know
how it feels
to dance
take me as I am
be my teacher
not some
manipulative preacher
let me be
your choice
without a need
to calm my voice
yes, take me out of myself
‒off this shelf
put me back into life
reopen my eyes
let me giggle
let me wiggle
teach me to run
show me
what it's like
to again have fun
be my guide
let me ask my whys
take me out of this shy
teach me to trust
let me have my lust
let me throw things, fuss
teach me we are enough
‒hype me up
with unconditional love
show me
even when I fall
‒through it all
I'm still your number one
my I am
is all I need to be
‒all you want to see
Continue reading “‘Hype Me Up’”

‘Bringing Her Back’

She’s Inside There. Go Get Her!

A sample from Book 7

 Bringing Her Back
she took a step off the curve
her mind racing‒
which way to turn
the wind blowing in her hair
pulling her coat tight‒
she wandered for a while
then just stood there
people were talking
kites were flying
cars were passing
behind her a soft rustle
she turned
to someone jogging
a squirrel sitting, staring
in the distance‒
a dog barking
then she felt it
‒no longer the need for dying
she felt life‒
she deserved
her heart beating
there was so much more to learn
she smiled
not a big smile
no, not one just anyone could see
it was an inside smile
on her lips‒
the hint of a small curve
she closed her eyes
enclosed herself in her arms
held her head back
her feet began to move in a tiny circle
I'm coming back
the gentle voice in her head
she heard
suddenly but gently
she stopped
opened her eyes
there before her...a path
not knowing
if it was the way she wanted to go
or the way she needed to go
she just began walking
her smile noticeable to all
she was now free
‒no longer a caged bird
Continue reading “‘Bringing Her Back’”

‘A Letter to Pandora’

Say It: ‘I Am Woman. Hear Me Roar!’

A sample from Book 6

 A Letter to Pandora
my dearest pandora:
you evil whore
stop opening false doors
I'm tired
of your illusive detours
‒your negative gore
I'll admit
I fell for the allure
the I love yous
the you're beautifuls
I'll admit
in my glass
I let others pour
I gave up control
let others take it
then gave them more
their promising lure
came slow, gradual
I believed in I'm yours
I believed in giving
‒times four
I swallowed hard
walked, paced floors
I cried and cried
hid my raging sword
as more and more
me...they ignored
‒never questioning
what for
all this rage built
I learned to hoard
keeping the peace
I constantly explored
praying you'd close
these selfish-hearted doors
but I see
how easily
you get bored
needing to keep
good hearts torn
‒racking up scores
on your evil board
I'm tired of being scorned
you're just
an evil whore
my rage is building wings
‒jamming closed
your controlling doors
hear me roar!
I'm not a board
to be walked on
or drilled
with material nails
‒your false lure
I'm a woman
an unyielding commodore
I will soar
above all
your negative gore
look up
you wretched whore
I am woman
hear me roar!
Continue reading “‘A Letter to Pandora’”

‘Without Burying in Holes’

You Be You. Let Me Be Me. While We Leave the Past Behind!

A sample from Book 6

 Without Burying in Holes
 (Sweet Man)
love outweighs libido
it offers room to grow
in each other an outflow
separate-together scenario
each doesn't forgo
their individual echo
maintaining meaningful amigos
never each other to outgrow
encouraging each's ego
−a constant expanding
each's manifesto
−see how high
they each can go
without one thing to owe
except coffee together
on a patio
having sincere trust
whatever way they row
enjoying the rainbow
kisses under a mistletoe
without doubting shadows
mutual integrity
each to show
each other's lingo
without a need
for macho
love is willingness
to lose control
−pride swallowed
letting it all go
opening the peephole
total envelope
letting every secret flow
exploring every shadow
of each's very soul
keeping it real
with or without clothes
living life with gusto
throwing away
the microscope
love allows feelings to roll
in and out−
allowing each to stroll
without digging holes
love's traveling different roads
enjoying solo
without worry
of an undertow
it's knowing
when to let go
without losing self-worth
apart...even though
wanting the best
keeping each other whole
love's a friendship stroll
hands to hold
without burying in holes
Continue reading “‘Without Burying in Holes’”

‘Dying House’ and ‘Our Last Goodbye’

That Place You Have To Leave!

A sample from Book 6

 Dying House
I've watched you grow
I thought we'd grow old
but our lives
have been sold
our hearts broke
our insides
have turned cold
your beauty
you're no longer
wanting to hold
I must go
it's getting harder
to cope
watching you
slowly corrode
piece by piece
you're starting to fold
a heavy load
you turn
from a gentle host
to a heartless ghost
no more
are you
my threshold
soon it'll all explode
for the last time
behind me
your doors
I'll close
with only memories
to be told
 Our Last Goodbye
I'm shaking inside
oh! what a ride
your heart and mine
you were built
with love
we fit
like hand and glove
my hands now tremble
closer and closer
draws the time
when we'll say
our last goodbye
through blurry eyes
I walk your rooms
my heels slowly glide
an unsteady slide
touching your skin
—this rushing, emotional tide
many memories collide
you witnessed
my every side
within your walls
I stood tall
you saw me
humble with pride
then you watched
me fall
—victim to a loving homicide
revenge's careful suicide
to you
I can't lie
in you
I do confide
within your bones
my will thrived
my imagination
easily came alive
you were once
a dream
in my mind
you were my every inspire
it was a thrill
watching you rise
you caressed my children
as they grew high
you heard me answer
their every why
you saw me hug them
through their every sigh
you watched them fly
you saw every transpire
you heard me laugh
watched me cry
you saw love rise
then watched it die
without answers to why
without even a try
you saw me
struggle for breath
you saw me strive
to survive
then revive
reasons to why
our love affair's denied
my deepest I
this emptiness—
hard to describe
it's all been crucified
—slick and sly
we're now down
to our last lullaby
our together forever—
that final day
will soon arrive
when behind me
I'll close your door
our last goodbye
Continue reading “‘Dying House’ and ‘Our Last Goodbye’”


It’s All About Survival!

A sample from Book 6


temptations fought
wanting to forget
righteous laws
—all I've been taught
this patient jaw
yearning to drop—
release this tangled flaw
so I wait for him
to unlock this vault
raise my pulse
with just his walk
through lessons
I'm caught
hunger sought
I'm just a cat's paw
yearning to claw
hearing him talk
bringing my heat
to a boil
the scent of him—
I'm lost
not just an afterthought
—an immediate draw
seeing him
brings naughty thoughts
to be with him
in the raw
dance sin's waltz
put me in awe
temptations fought
wanting to forget
righteous laws
—all I've been taught
Continue reading “‘Pulse’”


The Codependent: Make Yourself Happy First!

A sample from Book 6

I've tried to help
in ways
that didn't help
I've said yes
then no
to my self
I've avoided
hurting others
only to hurt myself
to trust my own feelings
I've been afraid
I've believed lies
then betrayed-
I often felt
I wanted to get even
punish others
for putting me
on a shelf
I often
became smothered
in anger and hate
-wanting to kill
not feeling safe
I've fought
for others' rights
when they didn't know
how the law swayed
only to be left
like an abandoned stray
I've often settled
for others' worth
-left my own
to grow another day
I became
the reaction
to others' anger and hate
instead of listening to self
walking my own way
I became
less of me
for others
to be set free
I've lost myself
to dependency
on how others felt
without seeing
my own need
to be free
to be just me
Continue reading “‘Codependent’”