‘Choices’

The Lie: How Far Would You Go?

A sample from Book 9

 Choices
 
what's with you
you evil whore
coming in my door
trying
to rattle my feathers
don't you know
you'll only be shattered
 
it's not even a bother
not even a matter
 
my Mighty Warrior†
awaits in amusing wonder
–ready to pound
His† rage in thunder
 
no, you silly, hopeless looter
it's no immediate tit-a-tater
His† time
mover in slow swinging of chimes
comes at you
in kind
 
allowing your laughter
pitter-patter
–friends in gather
while His† children
take on your karma
in prayer
becoming the fighter
 
He† watches them
in wonder
 
why, to them, you even matter
 
He† knows
His† heart fills with joy–
He's† their father
He† watches their struggle
how in tears
they fumble
how in their faith
they don't waver
how over you
they sit...pray...think over
 
He† let's this go on
for a while
proud...each...His† true child
their sighs, their fears
their doubts
–little by little
He† releases them
–pulls them out
favors them
with His† glory
 
for each person
you tried to use
to get through–
–instead
His† children came through
for Him†
in dirt
left you to waddle
in soft words
saying...fuck you
 
as His† children's hearts settle–
He† gathers His† armor
prepares for His† battle
 
there's no riddle
to what He's† capable
–He† never deviates
from principle–
what He's† always commanded
He† still demands
 
He's† forgiving
He† forewarns
His† unconditional love
brings no harm
choices
man's very hand
 
His† prepared armor
isn't about you
you evil whore
He's† preparing to fight
your brought on strife
 
He† lowers His† head
a tear...streams down
rain, thunder rages
waiting
for the open heart
sincerity in ask
to begin His† task
watching strife consume
waiting, waiting, waiting
pounding His† heart
 
why is it so hard
placing down

truth's card
 
unconditional love
He† gives
choices we get
He† doesn't step in
'til open
true hearts begin
 
then...only then
He'll† fight–
slaughter that strife
brought on by you
you evil whore
–slam shut
your damn door
move your victim's path
into the light
where He† stays to fight
'til they win
–do their gift
coming from within 
Continue reading “‘Choices’”

Are You Being Submissive Willingly?

(March 2, 2019)—Submissive. I rejoined POF. I was on this site in 2012 and got off because it was foul. I paid this go around to see if anything’s better just for conversation. There’s some interesting folks.

I had an interesting conversation with a guy and the word submissive was brought into the conversation. I had seen this word on another guy’s profile…and it just blew my mind! They are demanding that a woman be submissive!

Continue reading “Are You Being Submissive Willingly?”

The Day of the Woman

How Narcissist Play Their Game

A sample from Book 9

(Written in 2016)—It’s the day of the Woman! This quote says it all right there. I write about abuse and the five stages of grief (the process of surviving through them by-way of my personal journey) and it’s ALL public. [It is in my books.] It would make sense that I’m a child of God. A stubborn one. My mama always said so, too. My daughter swears this, too. So, I am sweet. But being a survivor that I am, I’m also a raging warrior when I need to be. That’s what makes a strong woman strong.

I’ve stated that my writing was going to squash all them narcissist abusers out there. I wasn’t kidding. They can see their ways or not. Of course, none of them will because they believe they are perfect, they refuse to see how they treat people as wrong.

Continue reading “The Day of the Woman”

‘Suffocation’

Breaking That Anger Cycle!

A sample from Book 12

 Suffocation
 
this heart
renders a need
to hurt, to bleed
that moment
joy
wants to intercede
I halt its need
to proceed
 
happy's unending
perseverance
to feed

fear takes over me
stopping
pathways in receive
‒instill in me
to believe
every thought
in my mind–
it's always in conceive
the reaction of angry
it's heart-stealing deceive
as a child
is all I did see
 
I push hard
to the dream–
if I could just free me
–all that anger
I did see
a child
not long in maturity
lose myself
in its captivity
of what it means
to be me  
Continue reading “‘Suffocation’”

‘Attrition’

Ways Codependents React to Narcissists After a Breakup

A sample from Book 9

 Attrition
 
a stable life in good–
doing what you should
holding on tight–
what's under the hood
 
seasons change
all the same
knowing they would–
gripping firmly to strength
keeping sight
in positive's look
assuring self
you've done it right–
gave the love you could
 
then all stop–
a tied-up knot
the sudden chop
from what is
to the cold, calculated not
 
words thrown
you misunderstood
 
you...searching
for answers in known
looking back–
on grounds stood
phrases said–
bouncing in head
surely something mistook–
signs overlooked
 
you know what you felt
all the right moves dealt
–the magic read in clouds
stories in books
readings in prayer books
right there...underfoot
all the best
in adulthood
words clearly understood
 
but there...lacking input
missed lessons in hymn books
–deceptions little nook
misguided direction
landing
in betrayal's neighborhood
 
all the pieces
so well together...put
a bit in the odd
the back-there look
 
a moved life
in sudden maidenhood
no written guidebook
teachings a foot–
these misguided ways
in falsehood
 
stripping moments of good–
losing self
in fancy-driven gook
scenes of hollywood
masterminds mastering weakness–
perils of womanhood–
–sly little crooks
robbing more livelihood–
what was already shook
 
tighter goes the knots
yet another sudden stop–
that letting-down drop
forcing
the non-welcomed re-surfacing
of anger's top
that place–
you thought chopped
 
lessons learned in crop–
that sudden stop
strengthens the lot
of hurt's already
worn-out blot
 
out goes buddhahood–
peaceful mind
turns to soot
promises of a finally found
true
honesty in real's manhood
lost once again
in a dreamer
stuck in boyhood
 
all this defend
breaks self down–
losing the will it took
to again's stuck in pussyfoot
–for nothing more
than mere, stagnated driftwood–
too hard for firewood
too nimble-footed
too backwoods
to be anyone's
true knighthood
 
so you just dawn an old frock
cover all the clocks
mourn what's not
–lessons thrown to floors
then mopped
live a bit in shell-shock
 
then, again fight
return good
to its original spot
–add the lost
to false-love's overflowing
melting pot
–take a minute...sob
tie tighter the knot
listen to some hip-hop
suck on some lollipops
–try to forget
once more...robbed
trying to convince self
heartbreak
not your mascot
 
but hope steps on in
forcing self
back into believe–
somewhere, out there
a heart's coming
your world to rock
without ever again
the sudden stop
from what is
to what's not
love in flop
Continue reading “‘Attrition’”

Where Narcissists Get Their ‘Feel-Good’ Empowerment From?

(March 17, 2019)―Reading. That’s what I’ve been doing. One author who caught my attention over a year ago through her videos and website is Shahida Arabi who has become an expert on the subject of narcissists and their many manipulative, abusive ways. I will write a lot more about her findings, including my personal experiences, when my website is up and running. For now, there are two important points that Arabi makes in her article titled ‘5 Powerful Ways Abusive Narcissists Manipulate You’ from her book titled Power.

Continue reading “Where Narcissists Get Their ‘Feel-Good’ Empowerment From?”

Quotes on the Self

I Am Woman. Hear Me Roar. That’s the yell I screamed in my writing since the beginning. It doesn’t surprise me that I have made it my motto. If you don’t speak up, the train of life will just run right over you…leaving you dumb-found and drowning in a sea of tears. Speak up! Don’t bury yourself in silence. It will only age you and sink you into a bottomless pit. Say what’s on your mind. Speak the truth even while you are shaking. Enjoy the quotes here and the artwork. Love the skin you’re in!

Continue Reading

Breaking Your Codependency….

…and Moving On To ‘Normal’

A sample from Book 12

That is the question that I had to end this book with. Going through the trials in life are hard. This year I had to face my mother’s death and the destruction of my three-year relationship, as well fight more health issues while being 1600 miles from all my family.

Codependency had still a hard grip on me, but the anxiety that I had fought through was just about gone. I would have to go through a forced intervention to figure out what the true medicine for codependency and all those negative thoughts were.

Continue reading “Breaking Your Codependency….”

‘Thrust in Turns’

Freeing Yourself From Codependency

A sample from Book 11

That’s an interesting question. It’s the biggest question that I tackle in my 11th book of My 12-Book Series. It’s a tough order. Just the Introduction was a tough order to write. The writing extensive and so was my life at the time.

Codependency showed its ugly face over and over bringing me to pure helplessness. I struggled. I fought against everyone. I was determine to find a way to break this crap. I refuse to believe that there was no cure. Everyone was lying and I was determined to prove it! Don’t be put off. There’s still another book that follows this one. Here’s part of my Introduction to Book 11.

Continue reading “‘Thrust in Turns’”

Don’t Be Baffled By Today’s Politics!

A sample from Book 10

I don’t see why because they have been telling you how they are for years. I’m not as into the politics today as I was years ago. Things just seem to keep going in the down direction, and there’s way too many people arguing instead of doing.

I know in my own home the argument over politics was huge. Being in a mixed relationship didn’t help matters as all this black/white issues took center stage. I have never been a racist. I’m not privileged. This seemed not to register with my ex-boyfriend. It saddens me on how many people believe this B.S. There are many people who believe they are privileged. I’ve seen them. I’m glad I’m not one of them. What follows is part of the Introduction to my last book on politics, Book 10, in My 12-Book Series.

Continue reading “Don’t Be Baffled By Today’s Politics!”
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