‘Reality’s Unjust’

Dating Sites Lead You To Unjust Fantasy!

A sample from Book 7

 Reality's Unjust
(Sweet Man)

it wasn't long ago
in our heads
picture of perfect
without flaws
pulled from reality
then that sudden chance
that perfect
we meet–
in imperfect form
at first
we disengage
–a mere friend
someone we know
that imbalance
slowly transforms
two people collide
imperfect provisions–
there's just something
–no finger to place
drawing you close
the lease expected
becomes the one
it takes time
'a constant union–
the irritating
the friend-like balance
the missing of presence
–wanting to be
then I can't do without
there's no formula
no bodily temptation
it's in a smile
–a certain look
the way words
fall from the lips
becomes balanced

time spent
time wanted
time needed


reality's unjust
forcing of chance
through pictures on a screen
breeding false hopes
lost in our heads
searching for perfect
not giving time
instant decision
instant irritation
instant befriend
its beginning
freezing hearts
too many encounters
getting to know
bodies to show
the small imperfections
leading to
innocent flirtations
summing up life
–complete satisfaction
instant gratification
instant perfection
in another
we don't truly know
in a world
just for show

(May 24, 2014)—I have gone on a number of dates byway of dating sites. I always come home with this cold, let-down feeling. My daughter, currently the wiser of us, told me to let go of my expectations, don’t judge a book by its cover, and get to know the person.

It was over 20 years since I was on the dating scene and things are a bit different and it’s not easy to fit in. For one, I’m much older and I have that feeling that time is running out. Second, the men are placing this instant satisfaction idea out there that if we don’t meet up to their expectations, we don’t get the second date.

It’s maddening, to say the least. But, I realized that I, too, am putting that instant satisfaction message out there. Why? I don’t know how these dating sites are helping us other than putting people together that, maybe, shouldn’t meet at all.

So, this morning when I sat down to write, ‘Reality’s Unjust’ covered the page. I thought back to when I was young and how dating was. To me, I’m beginning to see that this dating-site idea is just not normal. It’s taken the cosmo idea completely out of the picture and forces issues that probably shouldn’t be forced. I guess Facebook is a little different, but not much.

I actually have not gone on one date with a guy I’ve met through Facebook. Why is that? Maybe, because on Facebook, we put much more of ourselves out there than on a dating site because on the dating site, we are searching for a date, and on Facebook, we are not. So, because is it that we put so much more on Facebook, we are more judged and we turn people off? I know I must scare the hell out of some because I’m very open about certain subjects. Should we covet that part of us to land a date? It does appear that we have to pretend to be someone else in order to get noticed. At least, in the world of the web and the new-phone age.

For me, as time goes by, I find it less and less attractive to pretend, to covet the walls that I built. In reality, I believe anyway, the one person who comes along to knock those walls down, would be the one person I’m willing to give a chance to. But then again, the cosmos do have a very important role.

You can’t force the heart to feel if it doesn’t want to. That’s when you see that the old way of dating and meeting people was the best way. Time. It takes time to get know a person. You can’t learn chemistry in a person with just one night, with just one meeting. We short-change ourselves if we think that is the truth of reality. Time. When you give a relationship time, the imperfections become the things about that person you fall in love with the most.

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Author: k. e. leger

I'm a writer.

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