A sample from Book 7
it wasn't long ago
in our heads
picture of perfect
pulled from reality
then that sudden chance
in imperfect form
–a mere friend
someone we know
two people collide
there's just something
–no finger to place
drawing you close
the lease expected
becomes the one
it takes time
'a constant union–
the friend-like balance
the missing of presence
–wanting to be
then I can't do without
there's no formula
no bodily temptation
it's in a smile
–a certain look
the way words
fall from the lips
forcing of chance
through pictures on a screen
breeding false hopes
lost in our heads
searching for perfect
not giving time
too many encounters
getting to know
bodies to show
the small imperfections
summing up life
we don't truly know
in a world
just for show
(May 24, 2014)—I have gone on a number of dates byway of dating sites. I always come home with this cold, let-down feeling. My daughter, currently the wiser of us, told me to let go of my expectations, don’t judge a book by its cover, and get to know the person.
It was over 20 years since I was on the dating scene and things are a bit different and it’s not easy to fit in. For one, I’m much older and I have that feeling that time is running out. Second, the men are placing this instant satisfaction idea out there that if we don’t meet up to their expectations, we don’t get the second date.
It’s maddening, to say the least. But, I realized that I, too, am putting that instant satisfaction message out there. Why? I don’t know how these dating sites are helping us other than putting people together that, maybe, shouldn’t meet at all.
So, this morning when I sat down to write, ‘Reality’s Unjust’ covered the page. I thought back to when I was young and how dating was. To me, I’m beginning to see that this dating-site idea is just not normal. It’s taken the cosmo idea completely out of the picture and forces issues that probably shouldn’t be forced. I guess Facebook is a little different, but not much.
I actually have not gone on one date with a guy I’ve met through Facebook. Why is that? Maybe, because on Facebook, we put much more of ourselves out there than on a dating site because on the dating site, we are searching for a date, and on Facebook, we are not. So, because is it that we put so much more on Facebook, we are more judged and we turn people off? I know I must scare the hell out of some because I’m very open about certain subjects. Should we covet that part of us to land a date? It does appear that we have to pretend to be someone else in order to get noticed. At least, in the world of the web and the new-phone age.
For me, as time goes by, I find it less and less attractive to pretend, to covet the walls that I built. In reality, I believe anyway, the one person who comes along to knock those walls down, would be the one person I’m willing to give a chance to. But then again, the cosmos do have a very important role.
You can’t force the heart to feel if it doesn’t want to. That’s when you see that the old way of dating and meeting people was the best way. Time. It takes time to get know a person. You can’t learn chemistry in a person with just one night, with just one meeting. We short-change ourselves if we think that is the truth of reality. Time. When you give a relationship time, the imperfections become the things about that person you fall in love with the most.
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Additional Readings On Improving Self and Going After That Dream
(Each page has loads of additional books (in every format), videos, instruction materials, and inspiration gift ideas.):
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle
A Woman of Substance by Barbara Taylor-Bradford
Become a Better You: 7 Keys to Improving Your Life Every Day by Joel Osteen
Beloved by Toni Morrison
Fearless by Max Lucado
Fifty Shades of Grey by E. J. James
How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life by Susan Piver
How Successful People Win by Ben Stein
How To See Yourself As You Really Are by The Dalai Lama
Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg
Love is Letting Go of Fear by Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D.
Ship of Gold in the Deep Blue Sea by Gary Kinder
Shop Class as Soulcraft: An Inquiry into the Value of Work by Matthew B. Crawford
The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich by Timothy Ferriss
The Third Wave: An Entrepreneur’s Vision of the Future by Steve Case
Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson, M. D.