‘Reality’s Unjust’

A sample from Book 7

 Reality's Unjust
 (Sweet Man)

 it wasn't long ago
in our heads
lost
 picture of perfect
 ideals...exactness
without flaws
 dreamers
pulled from reality
  
 something
before
private
  
 then that sudden chance
 that perfect
we meet– 
in imperfect form
  
 at first
we disengage
 –a mere friend
someone we know
  
 that imbalance
slowly transforms
 two people collide
imperfect provisions–
 dislikes...likes
there's just something
 –no finger to place
drawing you close
  
 the lease expected
becomes the one
  
 it takes time
'a constant union–
 the irritating
the friend-like balance
 the missing of presence
 –wanting to be
then I can't do without
  
 there's no formula
no bodily temptation
 it's in a smile
 –a certain look
 the way words
fall from the lips
  
 imbalanced
becomes balanced

 time spent
time wanted
time needed

 something
before
private

 something
now
reality's unjust
  
 forcing of chance
through pictures on a screen
 blankness
breeding false hopes
 texting...chatting
lost in our heads
 searching for perfect
imbalance– 
not giving time
  
 instant decision
instant irritation
 instant befriend
  
 ending
before
its beginning
  
 freezing hearts
too many encounters
 lost– 
getting to know
 without
bodies to show
  
 lost– 
the small imperfections
 leading to
innocent flirtations
 summing up life
 –complete satisfaction
  
 instead– 
wanting
 instant gratification
instant perfection
 in another
we don't truly know
 in a world
designed
  just for show

(May 24, 2014)—I have gone on a number of dates byway of dating sites. I always come home with this cold, let-down feeling. My daughter, currently the wiser of us, told me to let go of my expectations, don’t judge a book by its cover, and get to know the person.

It was over 20 years since I was on the dating scene and things are a bit different and it’s not easy to fit in. For one, I’m much older and I have that feeling that time is running out. Second, the men are placing this instant satisfaction idea out there that if we don’t meet up to their expectations, we don’t get the second date.

It’s maddening, to say the least. But, I realized that I, too, am putting that instant satisfaction message out there. Why? I don’t know how these dating sites are helping us other than putting people together that, maybe, shouldn’t meet at all.

So, this morning when I sat down to write, ‘Reality’s Unjust’ covered the page. I thought back to when I was young and how dating was. To me, I’m beginning to see that this dating-site idea is just not normal. It’s taken the cosmo idea completely out of the picture and forces issues that probably shouldn’t be forced. I guess Facebook is a little different, but not much.

I actually have not gone on one date with a guy I’ve met through Facebook. Why is that? Maybe, because on Facebook, we put much more of ourselves out there than on a dating site because on the dating site, we are searching for a date, and on Facebook, we are not. So, because is it that we put so much more on Facebook, we are more judged and we turn people off? I know I must scare the hell out of some because I’m very open about certain subjects. Should we covet that part of us to land a date? It does appear that we have to pretend to be someone else in order to get noticed. At least, in the world of the web and the new-phone age.

For me, as time goes by, I find it less and less attractive to pretend, to covet the walls that I built. In reality, I believe anyway, the one person who comes along to knock those walls down, would be the one person I’m willing to give a chance to. But then again, the cosmos do have a very important role.

You can’t force the heart to feel if it doesn’t want to. That’s when you see that the old way of dating and meeting people was the best way. Time. It takes time to get know a person. You can’t learn chemistry in a person with just one night, with just one meeting. We short-change ourselves if we think that is the truth of reality. Time. When you give a relationship time, the imperfections become the things about that person you fall in love with the most.

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