Rippled Sadness
thinking back
things that were done
words said
people lost in their head
–those welcomed
in that I-thee-wed
the same–
who caused the hole
in this back
–all that blood
it bled
all their lies
all the answers–
that answered the whys
be careful–
oh, so careful
the truth
aids in your die
–no longer wishing
to look in eyes
that once
you gave all your time
it's not those words said
in your mind–
making them dead
it's their actions–
what they did
–with an ax
hit you over the head
the same–
what their actions fed
it all makes you shy
way deep inside
to forgive them–
not even a try
it's a do–
something you must abide
but to set time aside
for their cry
would be matters for God†
mercy given–
by His† sigh
Note: The photograph that accompany’s this work was taken September 27…Love from Heaven, where God and Jesus and David send a lot of love to me as I was battling this transition of opening up fully to being God’s messenger. The symbols are amazing and I haven’t yet had anyone who can duplicate these and/or disprove that they are indeed from God. They remain as always a mystery! For God is a mystery and anything from Him, the human brain has a hard time understanding. Here’s a note to your human brain: These are from God!
(February 25)—I have been dwelling on my life lately, just a little bit. This morning I woke up early and laid there in bed with this odd emotion and thinking of my family. Specifically my sisters. It’s been three months since I discovered their sin and I’m still in awe of it. I laid there thinking of that. When I finally picked up my phone because I couldn’t go back to sleep, it was 5:33 a.m. I knew God had something for me to say.
‘Rippled Sadness’…I opened my Bible to Job this morning. I read Job 25:1-6, turned the page, then David said to put the Bible down and write what’s in my heart, then go back and read what I was led to. Amazing! God answered my heart again this morning with the rest of the Scripture that I’ve included here.
Righteousness is Impossible—Then Bildad the Shuhite replied: ‘Dominion and awe belong to God; He establishes order in the heights of heaven. Can His forces be numbered? Upon whom does His light not rise? How then can a man be righteous before God? How can one born of woman be pure? If even the moon is not bright and the stars are not pure in His eyes, how much less man, who is but a maggot—a son of man, who is only a worm!’—Job 25:1-6 (Bildad is speaking)
Note: Sounds like Bildad is saying that no one can be true, like there is no hope. Job has a different outlook on things. So do I.
Words No Consolation—Then Job replied: ‘How you have helped the powerless! How you have saved the arm that is feeble! What advice you have offered to one without wisdom! And what great insight you have displayed! Who has helped you utter these words? And whose spirit spoke from your mouth?’—Job 26:1-4 (Job is speaking)
Note: Funny! Job is asking the counsel (that’s what I call his three friends) what good have they done? And…who is guiding them? I would have to ask the same to those who have put the knife in my back. And that’s what you should do. Those people who betrayed you, cheated on you, lied about you, did you wrong: Only Satan guides shit like that! God is truth. He doesn’t falter. He doesn’t change! Don’t worry. God has seen all the wrongs they did. They don’t think anyone saw. Oh, how wrong they are!
God’s Ways Unfathomable—‘The dead are in deep anguish, those beneath the waters and all that live in them. Death is naked before God; Destruction lies uncovered. He spreads out the northern skies over empty space; He suspends the earth over nothing. He wraps up the waters in His clouds, yet the clouds do not burst under their weight. He covers the face of the full moon, spreading His clouds over it. He marks out the horizon on the face of the waters for a boundary between light and darkness. The pillars of the heavens quake, aghast at His rebuke. By His power He churned up the sea; by His wisdom He cut Rahab to pieces. By His breath the skies became fair; His hand pierced the gliding serpent. And these are but the outer fringe of His works; how faint the whisper we hear of Him! Who then can understand the thunder of His power?’—Job 26:5-14 (Job is speaking)
Rahab: [vast, primeval serpent, to behave proudly in the sense of arrogant]
Note: He suspends the earth over nothing…I bet you never caught this in all your studies! Who told Job that the Earth is floating? There were ZERO technology to make this conclusion! Interesting isn’t it!
God sees all. And this, what Job describes, is but a small, tiny bit of His power. I read yesterday that Islam is putting to death eight people who denounced Islam for Jesus. Humm…Satan at work because I believe that article, and I didn’t even read the article! Because God already showed me what Islam will do. He’s in charge. Are you Islamic? Are you mad? Do you want to kill me, too? Get in line! My entire family and every man I loved seems to be ahead of you. Betrayal is a maddening thing! God knows this ALL too well!
Jesus came to take away our sins, but only if we let Him. This you don’t understand. He doesn’t just pat you on the hand and say, ‘Oh Shay, that’s okay. Do better tomorrow.’ It does NOT work that way, but all these man-made churches seem to be telling you just that. It does not say that NO WHERES in God’s book! And there isn’t any sex in heaven! What kind of ignorance is that!? God hates sexual immorality! Hates it! And those countries and islands promoting this…to the pit you go! No, you can’t have more than one wife! No, you can’t have all these women on the side! No, it is forbidden to have sex with children!
Death is SIN! All your sins are bare before God! He sees everything you do!
Job’s Faith Will Continue—And Job continued his discourse: ‘As surely as God lives, who has denied me justice, the Almighty, who has made me taste bitterness of soul, as long as I have life within me, the breath of God in my nostrils, my lips will not speak wickedness, and my tongue will utter no deceit. I will never admit you are in the right; till I die, I will not deny my integrity. I will maintain my righteousness and never let go of it; my conscience will not reproach me as long as I live.’—Job 27:1-6 (Job is speaking)
Note: God made Job see the ways of the truly wicked. Job says that he will never be forced to say the wicked are right, he will never conform to their ways! Amen! Neither will I. I wrote my journey down and published it. There is no denying. Sure there are parts that I didn’t publish…Book 5 being the most important. That was a terrible year and anger controlled me in my darkness. You will say things when you are angry, just don’t act on them.
Me…I said, ‘I’m sorry,’ so many times it’s ridiculous! And what did I get in return, hatred! What people do to covered their sins is amazing! I didn’t lie in my books. I didn’t lie to anyone. Sure, there are those little cover-up lies or deletions, those I even feel guilty about, but major lies that would hurt other people…I didn’t! Other people have said I did…but their malicious intent was and IS clearly there! Those people will have to pay for it. My conscience is clean! And no one will make me buckle. I refuse to conform to their darkness! ‘Happy be riddens,’ I say. I’m good. I’d rather live according to Jesus.
Wicked Are Not Heard—‘May my enemies be like the wicked, my adversaries like the unjust! For what hope has the godless when he is cut off, when God takes away his life? Does God listen to his cry when distress comes upon him? Will he find delight in the Almighty? Will he call upon God at all times? I will teach you about the power of God; the ways of the Almighty I will not conceal. You have all seen this yourselves. Why then this meaningless talk?—Job 27:7-12 (Job is speaking)
Note: Job is referring to those who want him silenced because he is sent to give hope to those in trouble, and those who don’t want to heal yell and scream at, and call those giving the hope names, or silence them all together…read the Bible. History doesn’t lie! I know…they did and do it to me! If those unhealed can’t face their hurt, they don’t want others to heal, they don’t want to be in their misery alone, so they refuse to leave the playground, they refuse to ante-up and face, truly face, GOD! It’s a very sad occurrence and one God isn’t too please with.
Here, Job is the hope for those on the wrong path. Without hope they will never find God. In the last question Job asked, if no one helps them see, they remain lost; hence, God’s messengers! Job says, what I have to say now, he will not be quiet because God has instructed him to teach others the truth about God. And without messengers, the truth is lost and those unhealed just go straight down to the pit. God doesn’t want that. So, in comes His messengers. Just…Satan gets in front of the messengers because the playground is vast and fun…but only here on Earth. Hear this all you bozos who think God doesn’t exist or that you can sin seven times a day, every day, or you’ll can have sex in heaven: Satan lied to you and is having a good ole time with you! The pit isn’t anything close to what Satan is telling you. And you can’t get into the kingdom while in death (SINNING) because God isn’t the God of death!
Fate of Wicked—‘Here is the fate God allots to the wicked, the heritage a ruthless man receives from the Almighty: However many his children, their fate is the sword; his offspring will never have enough to eat. The plague will bury those who survive him, and their widows will not weep for them. Though he heaps up silver like dust and clothes like piles of clay, what he lays up the righteous will wear, and the innocent will divide his silver. The house he builds is like a moth’s cocoon, like a hut made by a watchman. He lies down wealthy, but will do so no more; when he opens his eyes, all is gone. Terrors overtake him like a flood; a tempest snatches him out of his place. It hurts itself against him without mercy as he flees headlong from its power. It claps its hands in derision and hisses him out of his place.’—Job 27:13-23 (Job is speaking)
Note: Job is saying that without seeing their ways and turning to God, they will remain in strife. This is so true, of course, everything that Job says is true. Then Jesus came and told us that our families no longer inherit our sins. It is now up to each of us to turn from evil on our own. And we can…we can turn our hearts around, you just have to want to! That’s the hard part. Oh, those things of the dark are so fun aren’t they? Here’s the kicker: They are only fun for a short time…and that short time could be years for you, but they end. When they do, you end up with this empty feeling. Sorry, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
You can be surrounded with all kinds of things that you bought. Things…that’s all they are. They won’t jump up off the table and hug you. They won’t climb down from the wall and kiss you. They won’t run out of the bank and welcome you home. Nope…they are just things. And you can surround yourself with gobs of things! Your emptiness will still be there in the morning! That depression…that’s punishment. All those negative thoughts…that’s your test.
Honey, God isn’t going to reward you with material things until that material item will benefit the vine in some way! Trust me on this. If He gives you wealth in any kind of way, it is meant for you to do good things with, to help those in need, to put people to work, to feed the hungry. It is not meant to brag about, boast. Nope. He will take it. And if He needs you to do something like me in all this writing, He will bring you to where HE needs you to be in order for you to do what HE needs you to do!
All these people out there who are saying those of us who talk about God are just trying to find some meaning in our empty lives: Honey, the meaning of life IS God! And they, those lost souls, will discover the truth in that sooner or later. But God is using them to test His faithful ones. Are you going to judge them? Or are you going to just let them be and do your thing? Or are you going to call them out, sound the horn, and then walk away?
Everything…everyone…is a test. You just have to learn to see things for what they are. In my experience, the sad part is seeing those you thought were strong fail their test. No matter what I said to them, no matter how honest and loyal I was, they just liked their dark too much to see the light. And the odd thing is that either they will do two things if they truly rebuke God and Jesus: they will denounce Jesus altogether or they will use God as a shield but have their morals pointing in Satan’s direction!
I’ve seen both. The saddest one is hearing them denounce Jesus. No matter how down I was, no matter how sad I am, I will never denounce Jesus or God. How can I? They are part of my very make, my chemistry, my everything! That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard…denouncing what actually you are made of!
I’ve been talking about God’s energy for a while now. In all the pictures on God’s Mercy, He reveals His energy. Another thing that that evil whore Satan likes to do is take your grace and twist it around. I heard the sweet man do this a lot. The latest was him taking my witness to God’s energy and making it his own. He’d already taken my poet status and claimed as his own. And saying this I’m not judging. Nope. I’m telling you how Satan plays its game. It’s allowed. God is testing you to see what you will do. I call it out with truth! Satan does NOT like that because Satan’s game is lies. It’s a master at lying! It’s a master at concealing things in the dark, only in God’s world: THERE IS NO DARK. He sees ALL! Satan knows this, but its victims don’t because they are veiled to God. Why? Because when you are in the hands of Satan, God isn’t around! Your heart is messed up and you have to get it right and invite God back in with honesty. Until you have that, what you are hearing, my friend, is Satan! That’s truth! The churches don’t teach you that!
Reach deep inside of your heart…all negative is from Satan. All of it exist. God is there. Waiting. He’ll send Jesus in when you are done playing around in Satan’s playpen. It’s totally up to you…and you can’t blame one single soul on earth, nor can you blame God Himself. It’s all you babe! You let Satan rule you! And ONLY you can change that!
There’s more to Job’s discourse in ‘The Puzzle’s End’.
I finished writing this at 8:44! Approval!
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