‘Vastness of Found’

To heal…you’ve first have got to die, you first have to be willing to die.

 Vastness of Found
 
I didn't go looking
I didn't take the trouble–
searching, seeking
I let it find me
knowing
to truly desire
in...will come the fire
without a fight or want
it just is
it was meant to be
 
so...in my heart–
I let it ride
each moment, each tiny wish
I let myself die
 
I waited for the collide
knowing one day
it would come
leaving me stranded
hopeless
misunderstood
a bit reckless
‒or so it seemed
 
I left it all–
to fail or win
just threw it in the air
I took whatever
‒even if it wasn't fair
 
years passed me by
time slipped faster and faster
one by one
they all said goodbye
as I lay...falling
‒as I began to die
 
after all the achievements
in my life
not one was...just right
all...was to move me
to the exact moment
–that moment in die
 
where suffering is in alone
absent of home
just a bed to lie
an imprisonment of die
as each moment
pain shoots from bone
as sexual excitements build–
some where
in an unfamiliar zone
 
feeling each inch of pain
as it travels through veins
searching for its way out
experiencing selfish doubt
wishing to be–
way up high
in the clouds
 
it found me
‒took me in
patience...as I struggled
against it
deep inside of it
the core of it
it struggles to release
what's trapped it
 
so I let it–
I'll continue to let me die
not anymore
will I hide
I want its pain
to suffer
nothing in vain
–so that I am rebirthed
giving away all that hurt
to fully understand‒
to die
truly means...to die
not a half-way sigh
but a full sacrifice
in order to be given–
new life
‒understand
it's very right

Author: k. e. leger

I'm a writer.

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