‘Vastness of Found’

 Vastness of Found
  
 I didn't go looking
 I didn't take the trouble–
 searching, seeking
 I let it find me
 knowing
to truly desire
 in...will come the fire
 without a fight or want
 it just is
 it was meant to be
  
 so...in my heart–
 I let it ride
 each moment, each tiny wish
 I let myself die
  
 I waited for the collide
 knowing one day
it would come
 leaving me stranded
 hopeless
 misunderstood
 a bit reckless
 ‒or so it seemed
  
 I left it all–
 to fail or win
 just threw it in the air
 I took whatever
 ‒even if it wasn't fair
  
 years passed me by
 time slipped faster and faster
 one by one
they all said goodbye
 as I lay...falling
 ‒as I began to die
  
 after all the achievements
 in my life
 not one was...just right
 all...was to move me
 to the exact moment
 –that moment in die
  
 where suffering is in alone
 absent of home
 just a bed to lie
 an imprisonment of die
 as each moment
 pain shoots from bone
 as sexual excitements build–
 some where
 in an unfamiliar zone
  
 feeling each inch of pain
 as it travels through veins
 searching for its way out
 experiencing selfish doubt
 wishing to be–
 way up high
 in the clouds
  
 it found me
 ‒took me in
 patience...as I struggled
 against it
 deep inside of it
 the core of it
 it struggles to release
 what's trapped it
  
 so I let it–
 I'll continue to let me die
 not anymore
 will I hide
 I want its pain
 to suffer
 nothing in vain
 –so that I am rebirthed
 giving away all that hurt
 to fully understand‒
 to die
 truly means...to die
 not a half-way sigh
 but a full sacrifice
 in order to be given–
 new life
 ‒understand
it's very right 

Author: k. e. leger

I'm a writer. View all posts by k. e. leger