‘Spaces to Stay’

Believing in love is hard after being let down. Sometimes, we just have to throw our hands up and trust in God’s plan. Those who don’t see God’s plan: they just keep going round and round. Trust in that Jesus Love. He’ll come through when He knows we are ready.

 Spaces to Stay
 
I wanted to think
you cared
I wanted to believe
I was more than a barbie doll
to stare
I wanted to be in arms
somewhere...anywhere
just to feel accepted
–not just in skin...bare
 
I was wrong
 
a constant staring in air
playing dress up–
fixing my hair
without a soul to care
 
just once...wanting to be
more than just a dare
to not dawn sex to wear
–just being there
believing...I'm finally
free of the tear
leaving behind
every frightful scare
that I'd be left
for another in bare
 
I was wrong
 
the weakest link–
everywhere
the spear always wanting
to be somewhere
–in a different anywhere
 
in blank spaces I stare
voiding empty glares
all those running
to somewhere
spreading themselves
anywhere
–getting no wheres

‘Crucifying Jesus†’

Persecution. I was led to the following Scriptures today. Acts. The historical account of what happened to Peter and the rest of them who initially was appointed to tell the world about their experience, their testimony, about Jesus Christ. Nothing much has changed!

Note: The purple ray that you see in the picture that accompanies this writing is the purple love of Jesus. It is a blessing that He is placing on the 2 orbs inside of the red bubble. Those 2 orbs represent 2 people whom God has already married. There is a marriage under God and a marriage under man. You will know who these 2 people are, I’m told, in the near future. I already know. (I’m told to write this because of my self-doubt. It is dated now as everything else I’m told to write. It is for the sole purpose of revealing truth to me, personally, and to you. I can’t deny my self-doubt because I can’t see how this will happen, but in God and in Jesus, everything is possible. In Jesus’ name, Amen.)

(October 6, 2019)—Persecution. I was led to the following Scriptures today. Acts. The historical account of what happened to Peter and the rest of them who initially was appointed to tell the world about their experience, their testimony, about Jesus Christ. Nothing much has changed!

I say I’m told to write about how I feel. I hate writing how I feel. I used to not, but that was before the veils were lifted and I had this I-don’t-give-a-damn kind of heart. Things are different. God told me that now…there will be no more veils put on me. I must deal with my resentment of how others behave towards me and what they have done to me in the past. Currently, I’m told not to meditate, to wait…and write.

In ‘Crucifying Jesus†’, I wrote ‘I am in Christ†, Christ† is in me’. These words were put into my heart when I first heard Jesus’ voice. I was overwhelmed with Him. I couldn’t wait to tell the world that He was so real, and so humble, and so…everything! I never dreamed that by revealing this, I’d be worse off than I was before…crucified!

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‘Told but Not Heard’

God’s choice on how He reveals Himself is His call. He’s leaving how we see it up to us individually. Will you see it?

Note: The photograph attached to this commentary reveals who’s speaking. If you can’t see Him, you are blind. This isn’t in my imagination. All the photographs from September 27, reveal Him is the most extraordinary ways. Those whose faith is solid will see it. Those in disbelief are veiled and will not…that is His ultimate test for you.

(October 2, 2019)—I posted some really serious messages on my personal Facebook page a couple of days ago. Basically, in response to the visions and pictures and other things that I’m receiving. I don’t feel, in my heart, right if I don’t try to warn. I don’t care if it happens or not, my heart would be broken either way if I didn’t try. So, in response, even though I haven’t gone on my page since, I received messages from family, which I warned personally, that I need to see a doctor. They are worried about my mental health. That’s how they see God…as a mental disease. This is rather odd.

This morning I had a long chat with one of my dearest friends and she told me that she wasn’t aware of God’s wrath that all she knew was His love, and that I am scaring those who think like her. I knew this. I’ve been writing about how the churches are not teaching God properly, that they are leaving things out because they want control of you. I’ve been writing how they are not telling the truth by leaving things out. I have been writing about how you, as a people, are not reading the Bible as you should, instead you are allowing others to TELL you who God is, hence they are lying to you.

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‘Undo What’s Done’

You are worth every bit of struggle. It is up to you to take those struggles and help others with theirs. That’s the meaning of being the body and Jesus† being head. He† is with you. Never forget that!

 Undo What's Done
 
you are His† son
a tiny dot of sun‒
that can wage wars
beneath the stars
from so close
yet so far
 
I feel it all‒
deep inside
‒you have
what it takes
undo what's done
‒show the world
your sum
 
you are His† son
larger than life
cut by a knife
bleeding deep‒
from the inside
‒throw it, throw it
far from your outside
grow outward‒
don't hide
 
prove to Him†
you are more‒
than just a son
‒you are a light
shining
from a darkened sun

‘Erase Anger’s Mark’

Forgiveness. It is not just about forgiving in general, it’s about all the little parts that go along with hurt…anger, resentfulness. It’s setting ego and pride aside. It’s not bowing down. It’s living up to God’s standards. It’s what truth is all about.

(September 23, 2019)―Tests. My son and his wife are beginning a great big one. Last night, I got a call from him telling me, after being broke down on an interstate last night for eight hours, a car plowed into the back of his camper and caught fire. Him and his wife and their dog was able to escape before the fire consumed their camper and truck. You see they are travelers and work on the road, so that was their home.

After he called, I tried to call my daughter. She’s still not talking to me again. So, I called my dad, then called my baby son. He said something that brought anger up in me. He told me his dad already called him. That meant that my older son had called my ex-husband before calling me. I was hurt. Then this morning my older sister called. I just needed someone to rant to I guess. I told her I that my daughter wasn’t talking to me again and it hurt. I blamed the ex for changing her heart. I called him a narcissist and said he was evil. It didn’t take long for her to get off the phone with me.

Why am I telling you? Because I have to. Stay. I will explain.

Guilt fell on me after both of those conversations. I shouldn’t still be feeling this. But I’m hurt still because of how my family put me after the ex. I talked with God last night. I prayed for my son and his wife.

After I spoke with my sister, I got my coffee and sat down and opened the Bible. The following Scriptures was the first page I saw. I had not been to these pages since 2007. There are red marks all over this page. Those marks are in bold within the passages.

I was scolded! Not by God this time, but by Jesus!

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