Tag: death

Brace Yourself!

God’s hand is coming and there’s nothing we can do!

I’d rather warn people then do nothing. I’d rather have all of this written down so that the future will know. I know God’s time is not ours. I also know that visions could be wrong. I also know God never lies. I also know that people don’t give a damn! They just like to call people names and ignore the One being who controls everything. Have it your way! You were forewarned.

Note: The following article I wrote early this morning on Facebook. I thought I share it here. All I truly know is that this morning around 4 a.m., I was jolted to wake up, received more visions to inspire me…see ‘Backlash’…and this jolting which felt like electric shocks happened 3 times! So, I got up and have been writing ever since. The visions are well explained in the article below. They are not just a one time deal. I’ve had them every day for 3 straight days, then I took 2 days off of meditating because I was devastated by what I saw. Then I saw the visions again 2 more days.

Someone is trying to tell someone something! And I’ve experienced this stuff before so, to me, this is really big! When exactly? Your guess is as good as mine. But these events took place.

Continue reading “Brace Yourself!”

‘Men of Songs’

Understanding depression and the veils by-way of Job!

 Men of Songs
  
 I thrash out my complaints
 I take the hurt, the blame
 put it all on my shoulders‒
 knowing
through all this rough terrain
 not one showed sincerity
not one came
  
 so I let tears fall
like rain
 open my mouth
my worded train
 feeling alone, empty
worthless...plain
 wondering if I'm really insane
  
 I cast out my stones to You†
 ‒Your† broken little dame
 all these tasks
my life...so drained
 not knowing the final aim
 just take it all in‒
 the arrows of false names
 on invisible ropes...I hang
  
 told...life is but a game
 learn to play it...you win fame
  
 You† and I know‒
 that's not how it's framed
 life isn't at all a game
 You†...no one can tame
 someone so righteous‒
 You† easily cast in flames
 and that person
will never be the same
  
 when this heart
feels weak in faint
 I look at all my I can'ts
 I re-hear all those filthy names
 know...none of them...I ain't
 but I know‒
 I'm such a tiny piece of grain
 and the only fame
to be claimed
 is that of Your† sweet, sweet name
  
 I'm so, so tired
of being maimed
 so tired of lonely's strain
 what have I gained
 on this hateful, lonely lane
  
 I know it's part of Jesus'†
 each and every vein
 I'm so weary...feelings‒
 my work done in vane
 so, I call on you...Jesus†
 please take all my complaints
 straight to our Father†
 ‒pull me out
this agonizing drain
 forgive all my trespasses
 turn me over‒
 to at least one heart
who feels the same
 ‒a bit of hunger
a bit of tame
 to do works of good‒
 in Your† sweet, sweet name
Continue reading “‘Men of Songs’”

‘Unconditional Terms’

‘Unconditional’ Fades When Another Takes Your Place!

A sample from Book 12

(July 25, 2018 [Didn’t post on Facebook.])—When toxicity takes its toll, there’s nothing to say or do.

A weak heart turns to go, finds a new heart to rip apart. A strong heart cries alone, struggling to regain ground, move on. You don’t lose to cheating. You lose to betrayal. That’s why those who don’t marry, stay single. They can just hang it up, move on to another. The faithful one can’t do this.

Continue reading “‘Unconditional Terms’”

‘The Bitch of It’

Sometimes you just gotta to be a bitch!

A sample from Book 12

  The Bitch of It
  
 what the hell!
all of it
 you hear that, you hear this
 ‒what is it!
  
 first they want thin
then they want fat
 first they want blond
then they want black
 first they want
a down-with-it bitch
 then they want
a church-going chick
 first they want
the naught of it
 then they want just sit
 first they want
the free-thinking kind‒
 intelligent and shit
 then they make
the do-it-my-way dip
  
 what the hell!
all of it
 you hear that, you hear this
 ‒what is it!
  
 first they want
drama-free tits
 then they add the fits
 first they want
the sex-driven licks
 then they forget how to kiss
 first they want real's click
 then goes backwards the flips
  
 what the hell!
all of it
 you hear that, you hear this
 ‒setting confusion's tick
  
 it's all the bitch of it
 flip, flip, flip
 when you're trying
to get a grip
 the crap of it...clip
  
 old bitches come in to sip
 trying to slyly unzip
 when down falls
their run-away crib
  
 new bitches force in a rip
 sending those pussy pics
 flirting to get a hit
 trying to fill
voids in the flip
  
 for a secured woman's commit‒
 it's all a big trip
a playground's nip
 she doesn't have time to rip
 ‒quivering lips curl
to laugh's fit
 because....
she's the bitch of it
Continue reading “‘The Bitch of It’”

”Read Books”

Don’t Let Suicide Take You!

A sample from Book 7

 Read Books
 (for Samantha)
  
 read books
she says to me
 write your story
she pleads
  
 I see her sincerity‒
her begging
  
 please don’t go away from me....
 please don’t let hate win
  
 I feel the hurt in her
 ‒so deep
 when my words spill
 I don’t want to be here
  
 she’s exhausted
her please
  
 please don’t let
 suicide take you from me
  
 so I fight
I stay
 in this lonely world
 created
just for me
  
 for her
her sad pleas
 how can I die
leave her
not free
  
 so I must
read books
 lose myself
in false looks
 try to forget
this evil hook
 and all he took
  
 for her I’ll stay
 make it through
another day
 me and memories
 of love I believed
of love which deceived
  
 I struggle for her
 try to hide this hurt
 so her eyes
don’t cry
 death...I push away
 one more day
for her to say
  
 mom, I love you
 please stay
Continue reading “”Read Books””

‘Pillars of Death’

Depression: The Feeling of Your Own Death!

A sample from Book 7

 Pillars of Death
  
 I'm an apparent suicide
 who took
everything buried inside
 ‒sprayed it out
like pesticide
  
 they call it a homicide
 raging words
was all it took
 for love to dry
 ‒leaving only tears
to cry
  
 slowly I died
 asking every kind of why
  
 why only anger's words
was enough
to cast me aside
  
 why my truth
was reason
 my life
 ‒its very existence
to hide
  
 my being
no longer resides
 in hearts
I believed
could override
 evil's prancing stride
  
 they all cast me aside
 for thoughts...words
 I could no longer
hold inside
  
 instead of holding me
 as these eyes cried
they buried me
 ‒an unmarked grave
 deep outside
   with bugs and flies
Continue reading “‘Pillars of Death’”

When His Next Best Thing Comes Along!

This one sergeant in my Army days in Germany called me Marie Laveau…lol…another one bites the dust! One of them will be strong enough to handle my energy some day. If they can let go of their pride long enough. I’ve had enough of man-ego-pride to last a life time.

Continue reading “When His Next Best Thing Comes Along!”

‘Ends of Ropes’

If They Did It Once, They’ll Do It Again!

A sample from Book 8

 Ends of Ropes
  
 look at its threads‒
 each line
blending in fine
carefully woven
  
 notice its variations
notice what stays
 real out of charade
 ‒the weak
break off
slip away
 so strength
doesn't starve
doesn't fade
  
 its fine threads
continue their blend
 return to straight
when comes a bend
  
 with tender care
grows these single lines
 with love...hope
combine
to thickness of ropes
  
 growing, growing
 with decency of time
 harmony's kind
  
 it's a pleasurable watch
 tic, tic
around the clock
 when unexpected knots
slip out
 longer, longer
tighter, tighter
 strength‒ 
strangles doubt
  
 unassureness ends
awakens
again
 growing, growing
longer, longer
 tighter, tighter
  
 be careful
oh so gentle
 lost of hopes
 easily tangles
those ends of ropes
 ‒halting grow
 with single knots
stopping clocks
 meant
to stay
  unlocked
Continue reading “‘Ends of Ropes’”

‘Dying House’ and ‘Our Last Goodbye’

That Place You Have To Leave!

A sample from Book 6

 Dying House
  
 I've watched you grow
 together—
I thought we'd grow old
 but our lives
have been sold
 our hearts broke
 our insides
have turned cold
  
 your beauty
 you're no longer
wanting to hold
  
 I must go
 it's getting harder
to cope
 watching you
slowly corrode
 piece by piece
you're starting to fold
 this
a heavy load
watching
you turn
from a gentle host
to a heartless ghost
  
 no more
are you
my threshold
  
 soon it'll all explode
  
 for the last time
 behind me
your doors
I'll close
 with only memories
to be told
     
 Our Last Goodbye
  
 I'm shaking inside
 oh! what a ride
 between
your heart and mine
  
 you were built
with love
 we fit
like hand and glove
  
 my hands now tremble
 closer and closer
draws the time
 when we'll say
our last goodbye
  
 through blurry eyes
I walk your rooms
 my heels slowly glide
 almost— 
an unsteady slide
 touching your skin
 —this rushing, emotional tide
  
 many memories collide
 you witnessed
my every side
  
 within your walls
I stood tall
 you saw me
humble with pride
 then you watched
me fall
 —victim to a loving homicide
 revenge's careful suicide
  
 to you
I can't lie
 in you
I do confide
 within your bones
my will thrived
 my imagination
easily came alive
  
 you were once
a dream
 in my mind
you were my every inspire
 it was a thrill
watching you rise
  
 you caressed my children
 as they grew high
 you heard me answer
their every why
 you saw me hug them
 through their every sigh
 then
you watched them fly
  
 you saw every transpire
 you heard me laugh
watched me cry
 you saw love rise
then watched it die
 without answers to why
without even a try
  
 you saw me
struggle for breath
 you saw me strive
to survive
then revive
  
 reasons to why
 our love affair's denied
 mystifies
my deepest I
  
 this emptiness— 
hard to describe
 it's all been crucified
 —slick and sly
  
 we're now down
to our last lullaby
 our together forever— 
nullified
 that final day
will soon arrive
 when behind me
I'll close your door
 say
our last goodbye
Continue reading “‘Dying House’ and ‘Our Last Goodbye’”

‘No Goodbye Kisses’

It’s Not Your Fault!

A sample from Book 6

 No Goodbye Kisses
  
 I walk around
this house
quiet as a mouse
 my steps slow
not sure
 in which room to go
 there's pain in every inch
 remembering
the pounding
of your fist
  
 I spoke my mind
 maybe a little too unkind
 your actions
way out of line
  
 hurt...anger grows
 not understanding
not knowing
 why you changed
why you don't see
 how you made
our life to be
  
 your continued rage
backed me into a cage
 I yelled for you to go
 each word
another silent blow
 denial and lies
I refused to cry
 stood my ground
 tired
of being treated
like a clown
  
 once more
you ignored
 as our child's eyes
grew wide
 you continued
your raging tide
 stand up for yourself
words I taught
 actions―
I couldn't put on a shelf
 your finger pointing
your hurt anointing
  
 I slapped your face
 hoping
it'll send you away
  
 instead
you pounced―
 off the cement
my head bounced
 slamming your steel toes
into my thigh
 my hands and elbow
razored with holes
 your continued blast
left me
in a frozen cast
  
 our son grabbed you
 against the truck
he threw
 my mother held me
 I don't remember
jumping to my feet
 I kicked you
 I wanted to hurt you
I wanted to maim you
 I wanted to kill you
  
 I walk around
this house
quiet as a mouse
 my steps slow
not sure
in which room to go
  
 three times
in all these years
 you crossed this line
bruises on my skin
 my walk full of fear
each time worse
 in between
silent torture
 not standing up for me
not even seeing me
  
 a continued
losing journey
 me
wanting a family
 you
becoming an enemy
 a stranger
breeding hate and anger
  
 I walk around
this house
quiet as a mouse
 my steps slow
 not sure
in which room to go
  
 feeling the pain
in every inch
 from the pounding
of your fist
  
 staying...I resist
 your actions
crossed the line
  
 no goodbye kisses
 just closing the door
 leaving it all behind
Continue reading “‘No Goodbye Kisses’”