A Desired Kingship
from the time of saul
the chosen desired
to call
a man...a human
king
they already had one
‒since time begun
above Him†
they needed none
but they begged
so He† give it to them‒
what their hearts desired
‒setting His† own heart
on fire
their faith declared
then was blared
things seeps out of air
‒roles became out of heirs
trickery...this is where
humans began‒
living on dares
at kings‒
they needed to stare
‒the unseen
they couldn't even compare
to understand‒
was rare
slowly
went away the care
God† knew‒
the One of great value
miracles and all
a demand from hearts‒
a leader other than He†
a labeling of king
‒truly not knowing
the one true King
it was a thought
coming from hearts
words under tongue
encircling
that which to be hung
the spirit in the flesh‒
many couldn't even guess
some called Him† a guest
others‒
in a simple prophet's attire‒
He† would rest
it was in the few
that got history's view
they recognized the value‒
what He† was born
to do
He† saw right through
then He† said it
He† never denied it
for 'it' was His† purpose
those of God†‒
knew the Truth
knew His† true value
not of king
‒the Son† of a King
the prince
the highest of priests
the judge of human life
as the head‒
out of sight
the brother of the sinful
the way of the kingdom
the sacrificial lamb
who came
to light the eternal lamp
to the Kingdom
of
the true King
(August 5, 2020)—
[Mark] Immediately Yeshuah made His disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of Him to Bethsaida, while He dismissed the crowd. [John] Yeshuah, knowing that they intended to come and make Him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by Himself.—Matthew 14:22,23a; Mark 6:45,46; John 6:15-17a
In prayer sessions, sometimes I’m overwhelmed with this emotion that is really hard to explain. It’s joy. It’s sadness. And both those mixed up with something more. Then I hear, ‘You love My Son.’ It isn’t a question. It’s more of an acknowledgement of my heart. I always say, ‘Yes.’ Then He says, ‘As it should be.’
There is no price to be put on Yeshuah. In the lessons that He teaches me, some of it is hard to take because it is not what we are taught by mainly the Catholic church, and it seems that all the other churches follow suit. Just the thought of a man posing as the only person on earth beneath God that we must listen to…the Pope. Who said? Who gave this organization the authority to tell us, the people of God, that we HAVE to listen to this human? Who gave this organization the power to say they kill in the name of God innocent people as Islam does? Who says?
You don’t have to listen to me. I’m not here for you to take what I saw at face value. I’m here to plant seeds into as many as I can. The seed of truth. I plant. He takes over. I’m not being bold or arrogant in human form. He told me what I am to do. This is the whole purpose of all these words I write and these books I put together: Plant seeds.
My seeds are given to me by the Spirit of Truth. I’m not going to sugarcoat and bullshit you. Truth. And truth is hard to accept when you’ve been lied to all your life. Tradition. We do it because everyone else does it. We do it because everyone did it.
Humans called Jesus king. Yeshuah never denied it.
Looking for Guidance
you're always asking for it
you're always seeking it
instead of doing it
too much asking for it
leads to all that's toxic
rules over all of it
‒when you needed
none of it
too much of it
strips all that's splendid
makes it all rancid
it's easy to predict
‒the way of it
for you keep asking for it
in movies, in books
in debates, in arguments
‒please don't panic
your fear brought you to it
you kept asking for it
you kept dreaming it
feedback in logic:
why not just take it
after all‒
you asked for it
so you must can handle it
all things chaotic
you ask for it
get it
then become its critic
you're asking‒
brings on the conflict
brings on what contradicts
‒turns life into just a gimmick
why do you ask for it
you are already a lamp's wick
all you have to do
is light it
‒become the maverick of it
but instead‒
other's wicks
you overindulge the solicit
over what doesn't concern you‒
you protest and riot
‒paving your way to the pit
here's the blunt of it:
go on see me as a hypocrite
or even a bitch
better yet...a witch
‒I'll easily take
the ransom of it
so here it is‒
you're asking the wrong ones
for it
everything you truly need‒
you already have it
just follow the commands
of it
praise Him†, your God†
in high esteems of worship
over nothing...you trip
over the One† who commands it
you don't flip
you're not seeing it
for what it is
open up to the real of it
the beauty of it
instead of the fear of it
then you'll see true grace‒
that of the Yeshuah† of it
you'll turn from the pit
to see
the light of it!
(August 18, 2020)―It was put into my heart today to combine this work with ‘A Desired Kingship’ and to explain a part of the process of God that many don’t fully grasp. I’m seeing it, I’ve been seeing it and writing about it, but still so many are in the dark to what exactly they are doing, calling upon themselves.
Last year, the Lord made a promise to me. I didn’t ask for it. He demanded it. He said that it was a gift to me to help my doubt, better yet, erase any doubt I have in me about what I’m being taught by the spiritual world. I’ve written a lot about this promise. He demands that I do. He wants it known so that when He fulfills this promise, you will know that it is Him.
On my part, I had a hard time with this promise. I argued as I’ve written before and He demanded that it is so. So, I gave in. ‘Okay, Lord, then make me fat and ugly.’ I’m not kidding. This was about eleven months ago. I demanded this because part, or the main part of the promise is to reveal to me true love. All of my life, when it comes to a man, my body and looks have always been the way for their hearts. And it always broke my heart at their comments and reactions to me, as I’m staring at their less than desirable bodies and looks. Does that make sense? I always fell for a guy’s heart, their ways that they reveal to me. Their looks and all was important to my young self but not as important as they made mine to be.
Unconditional love. The kind that doesn’t judge you, that’s kind and forgiving, that brings in the hard love when it is needed because that person truly cares about your wellbeing. I’ve never had that sort of love. Never. I’ve always had surface love. To me, true, unconditional love is the kind where you can share anything with your partner and they love you more for sharing. You go through the hard and love each other more for sticking by each other, backing each other up, taking up for each other and never betraying.
I gave that kind of love. It’s easy for me until they betray me. God doesn’t betray. I asked and He is giving. I hate being over weight because I’m so used to fighting to be thin because everyone judges on the body and looks. And I’ve watched my dad belittle my mother all my life. I watched my sisters eat their problems and give up on themselves. I was determined to not be that way, but not only that, I was always determine to stay thin so that when I go down, it won’t be too hard on others. Yes, I even thought of other people when it came to my own demise. I never wanted to be a burden. I still don’t want to be a burden.
But God has a way of using me, my life and body to test other people. He also has a way of using my body to make me see His way. When He tore my rectum, He was telling me to go DEEP! I wrote about this. It was horrible and very personal but He wanted me to share the experience, to share how He makes us go through things to teach us. I knew what had happened. I was detoxing when it happened. It hurt so bad. I would compare that to a man passing a stone through his penis. This happened when all this pandemic started so I couldn’t just go in the hospital or doctor, so I did a phone conference and my doctor sent everything I needed to self-medicate from antibiotic cream, to wipe pads, to a donut to sit on. She loaded me up. It was so horrible I walked around my apartment half naked for a few days, crying, begging the Lord to make it stop.
I had to write what He wanted me to write first. The tear was supposed to take 4-5 weeks to heal. It healed in a week! It healed after I wrote what the Lord wanted me to write. He’s done this to me so many times, not a tear per say, but bringing me to emotions that weren’t my own in order for me to write about them then He’d take it away. It would last for less than an hour to several hours to several days. But He would always remove it once I wrote about it. I didn’t know this while it was happening. I was beginning to believe folks when they called me crazy, although I truly knew I wasn’t. I just knew the Lord wanted me to write.
When I went back to edit the books, that’s when I saw what had happened. Some of the works disgust me, piss me off and I want to disassociate from it and I’m told to ‘stay’…meaning keep it. It isn’t meant for me…the words. I always knew this. I just didn’t fully understand it until this year when the Lord opened me up to the spiritual world.
So, back to the weight issue. This really bothers me. David constantly takes me back to the spider dream about my mother’s house. I believe I’ve written about this, if not, someday I will. It was a very intense, serious dream and I didn’t quite know what it meant and laid in bed for hours thinking about it. When I finally got out of bed, I walked by my kitchen table and David says, ‘Let’s talk about the dream.’ Just like that. I had to describe the dream then he told me what it meant. I would never have guessed. But it was to make me see my body and why I had all these dysfunctional thoughts about me HAVING to be sexy and thin and in shape. It’s bothered me all of my life…mainly because of how my dad treated my mother.
But not only that, I married a man who made similar comments then I had a boyfriend who did the same thing. It’s narcissism. They have to judge others to make themselves look and feel good even though they are less than perfect. I mean my dad was a nerd of a man. My mother was thin and beautiful when she married him. When she died, she was obsess and her teeth were bad and her self-importance was stripped from her…a direct reflection of how my dad treated her. My mother was the only person who truly understood my work!
I asked God to make me fat and ugly, so that I can truly be loved for my heart and mind and not my body and face. My body today is not my body. I don’t recognize it. But God gave me what I asked for. As goes for you. As goes for the Hebrews in ‘A Desired Kingship’. God knows better. He knows what our request will bring us, but His love overpowers this and He gives in, gives us what we ask for. We have to learn the lessons on our own because we won’t listen to logic.
Watch here in the United States. What is happening now and what is going to happen, the people here asked for it. They don’t understand what freedom is. They had it. They are slowly losing it. Why? Because they demand that we be equal, they demand that God not be a part of it, they demand that money rules everything. Their demands are not good for them, but God has been slowly giving it to them. All of their desires and especially their fears will happen to them. Because they asked for it.
The American way: They ask for it. They get it. They complain. They are never satisfied. This way will destroy them slowly but surely. Their arrogance, as in every other country, will strip them of their joy. Money can never make you happy. Only Yeshuah can do that.
Note: Photograph taken November 9, 2019: Certainty of Visions reveals here the crack in the earth that’s coming. You don’t really have to believe it. It’s going to happen all the same. God’s talked about this through many prophets. To further tell you the extensiveness of this through me and then to be able to reveal in photographs what He showed me in visions is remarkable. Of course, the visions were intense! He’s not asking you to prepare your house. He’s telling you to prepare your heart. You don’t have a choice if you live or die through this, but you do have a choice if you live or die. I can bet you don’t understand that sentence at all. Live in the Bible means you go to heaven. Die in the Bible means you go to the pit. What will be your choice? Which gate are you going to walk through? The choice is off the table for almost a million people in just seven months. That number will greatly increase by the end of the year. Eternity is a very long time to suffer in the pit, but it will be your choice if that’s what you want and how you live this life.
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