A sample from Book 6
Codependent
I've tried to help
in ways
that didn't help
I've said yes
then no
to my self
I've avoided
hurting others
only to hurt myself
to trust my own feelings
I've been afraid
I've believed lies
then betrayed-
I often felt
I wanted to get even
punish others
for putting me
on a shelf
I often
became smothered
in anger and hate
-wanting to kill
not feeling safe
I've fought
for others' rights
when they didn't know
how the law swayed
only to be left
alone
like an abandoned stray
I've often settled
for others' worth
-left my own
to grow another day
I became
the reaction
to others' anger and hate
instead of listening to self
walking my own way
I became
less of me
for others
to be set free
I've lost myself
to dependency
on how others felt
without seeing
my own need
to be free
to be just me
(October 18, 2013)—I wrote this a while back [July 20, 2013], but it didn’t hit me until today. It didn’t hit me until he texted me a bunch of crap, not understanding what I’m doing all day long or why.What’s wrong with you? was his question. No need to say my response, but I’m still co-depending, I’m still allowing others to affect me when they shouldn’t.
I [had] stopped reading Co-Dependent No More. Many women who are going through this know this book well. I need to continue my reading, continue strengthening my heart and soul. Battered-down women don’t know how to do this easily because we keep depending, thinking things will change. They won’t.
Don’t forget it’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The purple says it all. Carry your purple purse with pride. You are a survivor: Whether it’s verbal, spiritual, emotional, or physical…it’s still abuse. Break the cycle of tradition and say: No More. Love the skin you’re in.
Paperback: The Silent Abuse Survivor’s Guide…Fighting Anger…Bargaining Self Into Sanity Book 6
Kindle: The Silent Abuse Survivor’s Guide…Fighting Anger…Bargaining Self Into Sanity Book 6
