Category: Relationships

‘Tested Hearts’

‘If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.’―Author Unknown

Tested Hearts
  
 I tested them you know
 to see how'd they flow
 to see if their love would show
 to see...if they were real
 in gold
  
 every, single one–
 fell to the flo'
 just hit it...out...sold
 my little libido
 love's true row
 –they so easily
 put it out in the cold
  
 on me, they all rolled
 put me on death row
 for a popularity show
 'she's crazy ya know'
 –all for a people-pleasing fold
  
 I tested the forceful in bold
 just to tell myself–
 'I told ya so'
  
 easy...so very easy–
 they'd made me the mold
 for themselves...blame to unload
 –without a second thought–
 any love for me
 to hold

Note: The photograph that accompanies this piece was taken October 15th after I asked David to prove himself again by sending me a daisy. I knew the spiritual world could manipulate technology by what they had already shown me in the previous photographs and by a message put on this website (I left them up) back in August. When I was reviewing this set of frames and noticed the daisy sun, it was a bow-the-head moment. This was also the day the Phoenix was sent over the water, to reveal new birth is coming. In this particular frame: The daisy sun, the promise made to me in the pink bubble and the ray of purple light: Jesus blessing the promise.

‘Not Much’

To love…you make that choice. It’s not changing your mind. To truly love, you can’t change your mind because it is not with your mind that you love: It’s with your heart.

Note: The photograph that accompanies this work was taken November 9th. The image of the double Orbs in the bubble, which appears many times since September 27th, stands for love…a two that becomes a one in harmony because of pure hearts truly loving each other and forgiving each other for each’s short-comings. The purple light coming from the bottom and shining on the Orbs stands for Jesus’ love. You can’t be truly in love without Him guiding you. He IS love.

 Not Much
  
 it doesn't take much to love me
 –your enchanting laugh
 sharing everything inside
 (outside is too surface)
 it's that place...way down deep
 where I know you–
 and you know me
 –the deepest of secrets–
 we keep
 between God†, you and me
 –and no one else
 gets to see
  
 it doesn't take much to love me
 in my arms...you're free to weep
 while letting me hold you–
 without having to be neat
 letting go...a time in baby
 knowing I don't think you're weak
 but courageous and strong–
 for letting it all out...seep
  
 it doesn't take much to love me
 it's having our song–
 you holding me gently
 never embarrassed–
 to dance with me
  
 it's touching my body
 desiring to hold me
 –whatever my shape...wanting
 giving me that security
 that it's my heart–
 that sets you free
 –not sexy or beauty
  
 it's building me up in strength–
 gestures and words in tiny
 just because you are happy
 –to be in my company
  
 no, it's not much to set me free
 putting me on a course–
 you...wanting–
 not needing...wanting
 to please
 in a world so hectic–
 slowing it down in ease
 –giving you back...all of it
 what you gave to me

‘Spaces to Stay’

Believing in love is hard after being let down. Sometimes, we just have to throw our hands up and trust in God’s plan. Those who don’t see God’s plan: they just keep going round and round. Trust in that Jesus Love. He’ll come through when He knows we are ready.

 Spaces to Stay
  
 I wanted to think
 you cared
 I wanted to believe
 I was more than a barbie doll
 to stare
 I wanted to be in arms
 somewhere...anywhere
 just to feel accepted
 –not just in skin...bare
  
 I was wrong
  
 a constant staring in air
 playing dress up–
 fixing my hair
 without a soul to care
  
 just once...wanting to be
 more than just a dare
 to not dawn sex to wear
 –just being there
 believing...I'm finally
 free of the tear
 leaving behind
 every frightful scare
 that I'd be left
 for another in bare
  
 I was wrong
  
 the weakest link–
 everywhere
 the spear always wanting
 to be somewhere
 –in a different anywhere
  
 in blank spaces I stare
 voiding empty glares
 all those running
 to somewhere
 spreading themselves
 anywhere
 –getting no wheres

‘Channel’

Don’t change your independent self because of another person.

 Channel
  
 a bird flies when its free
 it stagnates
in captivity
 its colors blossom
in variety
 fading in ambiguity
 ‒plucking them out
in atrocity
  
 in nature...the act in free‒
 all the same
in its facility
 a trapping technicality
 ‒being free has its complexity
  
 as a woman
in her diplomacy
 giving true
to her effeminacy
 when treated
with significancy
  
 when she's satisfied
in her sexuality
 she falls into compliancy
 even in another's complacency
 giving up her self-sufficiency
 even her style in flossy
 being, at first
blissful in buoyancy
  
 as it goes...comes the decadency
 becoming aware
of the deficiency
 –a broken down fallacy
 as she meets each exigency
  
 outward...comes her adamancy
 as gone goes her sexy
 –an inward building pudency
 her usual controlled diplomacy
 loses its bearing
to rampancy
  
 as goes the controlling austerity
 saving-money hostility
 ‒slowly caving
in her impetuosity
  
 attention...gone its notoriety
 even her newly shaped nudity
 once praised with delicacy
 gone...with looks
words in vulgarity
 stripping
all her sexy naughty
 –leaving vagueness
in commonality
  
 lack of interest
opens a familiarity
 once ignoring
so much secrecy
 once ignoring the mendacity
 pulling forward
all its perfidy
 as gone...all her sensuality
 understanding
its diverted generosity
 she becomes lost
in recalcitrancy
 –the precious kitty lost
to lunacy
  
 all for giving her free
 to submissive captivity
 for the awakening
of her sexuality!
Continue reading “‘Channel’”

‘Love in Action’

Actions, in spite of resentment, still say LOVE

 Love in Action
  
 no matter the resentment
 it was given then taken
 actions of love
 still...not just a must
but a do
  
 it's all giving
without judgment
 helping without faking
 actions in love
 doing
without needing a clue
  
 it's helping another
without commitment
 being truthful
without manipulation
 actions in love
 doing
for words are not enough
  
 it's getting over
the resentment
 ‒those taking without
returning the give
 actions in love
 still...a beautiful mark
 on the heart
in the making
Continue reading “‘Love in Action’”

‘Shouldering Damage’

You deal and accept the physical damage caused by narcissism’s carelessness

 
Shouldering Damage
  
 upon her shoulders
carries the weight–
 shouldering damage
from those who couldn't stay
 –a go-getter
they couldn't take
 she...never wanting‒ 
any kinda hate
 ‒that was never
her intended fate
  ‒she let love lead the way
 ending in heavy price's
to pay
  
 only in moments
she lived in sedate
 all them medical doctors
had to medicate
 she just needed room‒ 
a bit of space
 to grasp the idea
of her body ache
 never using it as an escape
 ‒it hurt...and she was its bait
  
 she knows she gave it all
 she wasn't some pity rage doll–
 standing somewhere in stall
 she answered a simple call
 –but others led her to fall
 not caring the damage at all
  
 upon her shoulders‒ 
she wears the cape
 an anti-depressant to mask
a different kinda ache
 –emotional chains
she couldn't tolerate
 a burning heart
left in saturate
 mixed with anger
lust and hate
 screaming
without intentional berate
 from love
that just couldn't stay
  
 then again‒ 
she let love be her mate
 a heart damaged‒ 
in too many ways
 –again...a turn in obliterate
 a brain burned in uncultivate
 all that damage‒ 
on her shoulders
in blissful weight
 men who couldn't bear
the cape
 of her physical‒ 
being in waste
  
 she knows she gave it all
 she wasn't some pity rage doll–
 standing somewhere in stall
 she answered a simple call
 –but others led her to fall
 not caring the damage at all
  
 she now wears‒ 
a suit of armor
from love's mate
 as the heavy scars from fake–
 I can't stay
you...I could only tolerate
 builds her face
straight to a destiny's fate–
 the writer in massive create
  
 she...to never deny God
in whatever she faced
 so she shoulders damage
left behind–
 by carelessness
and self hate
 building her rose‒ 
from a destroyer's
intentional state
  
 she knows‒ 
she gave it all
 she wasn't some pity rage doll–
 standing somewhere in stall
 she answered a simple call
 –others led her to fall
 not caring
the damage at all
  
 oh! how
she can stand tall–
 she picked herself up
from the fall
 using the rest of her life
in God's hall
 lost to true love's
missed call
 she knows‒ 
she gave it her all
 –it was not her
that caused
the fall!
Continue reading “‘Shouldering Damage’”

‘Hidden Treasure’

Discovering the hidden treasure in yourself!

 Hidden Treasure
  
 I found it
in the mince of broken
 it was afraid and hidden
 an abundantly harvested token
 ‒over used and forsaken
  
 I took it in
without fear's notion
 ‒not even feeling a demotion
 I bathed
in its scented potion
 rolled around
in its storied creation
  
 I overlooked‒ 
its wicked formation
 for I saw‒ 
a different translation
 ‒one that needed
a believer's gratification
 one with a heart-filled formulation
  
 I listened
to its every beckon
 sometimes, in stages of drunken
  
 all around...deemed it poison
 something to be shackled‒ 
in a far-away prison
  
 I threw out‒ 
traditionalized opinions
 nothing stuck‒ 
rotten or forbidden
 its scent just heightened
 ‒nothing could be wrong
or mistaken
  
 I moved like lightening
 intentional burns‒ 
gone...forgotten
 ‒days passing slow, steadfast‒ 
good ridden!
 I drove it‒ 
to an endless vacation
 ‒whatever conviction
out...came my eviction
  
 I smiled as I saw its rising
 all my stops...fully opened
 pulling it out of hopeless‒
 with my inner-most motivation
 ‒a darkened star had risen!
  
 I fought everything
in grand petition
 every inside concentration‒
 I put aside
rose to the occasion
 ‒with the fierceness of driven
 this hidden treasure
overcoming every treason
 to become the lamination
of a new generation!
  
 stop!....
  
 reveal
came its different ideas written
 all avenues taken‒ 
off records...stricken
 –beating all those defeating‒ 
overcoming...petitions
 a losing validation!
  
 I lost to its mention
 ‒there...in its private station
 came to life‒ 
its own treasure hidden
 in all its careful motions‒
 belts and strings
forcefully tightened
  
 I craved to be enlightened
 –nothing valued...given
 anything to elevate my vision
 halted in moments of frighten
  
 I fought constant bent roads‒
 tried to straighten
tried to remember each lesson
 through all that glistened‒
 it had its own secrets woven
 ‒knowledge in listen
 mixing up pointless decisions
 taking all the forgivens
 icing them‒ 
in the forever of frozen
  
 yes, I found it
in the mince of broken
 it was afraid and hidden
 an abundantly harvested token
 ‒over used and forsaken
  
 but all the good of will‒ 
off...steadily shakened
 breathing‒ 
living a horrid token
 in anger's hidden conviction
 ‒all that's been stolen‒ 
on others
its constant reliving
  
 it found its way‒ 
in rebuilding
 using knowledge given
 slashing‒ 
all help's salutations
 keeping to itself‒ 
a stolen formulation
 ‒to avoid sharing‒ 
treasures hidden
 as I sit
in lost wanderings–
 moments
I took it
out of forsaken
Continue reading “‘Hidden Treasure’”

‘Anger’s Infest’

Anger wants you steadfast! God wants you moving forward!

 Anger's Infest
  
 feel it beneath your skin
 evil's way of getting within
 actions in horror's den
 ‒ways of evil's perfect sin
  
 it'll trap you in cussing
 it'll condemn you in swearing
 pulling at you...probing
 wanting your reaction
 for it's only satisfaction
  
 it'll take all
of your triggering notions
 you...down...dragging
 as it smiles
in sadistic laughing
 craving your giving in
 your fight...it's welcoming
 celebrating
your mind's condemn
  
 anger...evil's infested gem
 words, actions
its consistency in playing
 wanting you
self to defend
 so it can celebrate
in its win
  
 feel it beneath your skin
 evil's way of getting within
 actions in horror's den
 ‒ways of evil's perfect sin
Continue reading “‘Anger’s Infest’”

‘His Softness’

That which gives you inspiration to go on!

A sample from Book 12

 His Softness
(Sweet Man)
  
 there's moments
I want to cry
 in this aging bit of life
 ‒not understanding
what to fight
 he comes into my sight
  
 deep in my thoughts
 I get lost...caught
  
 then he kneels before me
 ‒my world gets lost
in his sea
 cradling me in his arms
 all that fight...gone
  
 aren't you tired of this yet
  
 his question without hiss
 we both knowing
we keep rocking a boat
 that just needs
to float
  
 yes
  
 my response in insist
 over and over...rowing
 untying
this knotting rope
 without losing
gentle's hope
  
 feeling it all melt away
 with soft words‒ 
he has to say
 as he pulls me
in his sway
  
 I want this‒ 
not just for today
 but every day, in every way
  
 I know the truth‒ 
when I look into his face
 love...in every line
to trace
 as his black hair
fades to gray
 by his side
I feel everything safe
  
 when he leaves the room
 behind...closes the door
 I'm left with my thoughts
 shifting deep
in my core
  
 yes, I'm tired of this
  
 love is far more perfect
 surrounded by his softness
 then sitting in a room
lost in miss
 his love
trying to forget
Continue reading “‘His Softness’”

‘Humble of Mercy’

You Want It to Be! So Bad….

A sample from Book 12

(September 26, 2018)—

Praise for Joy and Security of the Righteous—Keep me safe, O God, for in You I take refuge. I said to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing.’ As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom in all my delight. The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips. Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup; You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let Your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.―Psalm 16

Continue reading “‘Humble of Mercy’”