‘Spaces to Stay’

Believing in love is hard after being let down. Sometimes, we just have to throw our hands up and trust in God’s plan. Those who don’t see God’s plan: they just keep going round and round. Trust in that Jesus Love. He’ll come through when He knows we are ready.

 Spaces to Stay
 
I wanted to think
you cared
I wanted to believe
I was more than a barbie doll
to stare
I wanted to be in arms
somewhere...anywhere
just to feel accepted
–not just in skin...bare
 
I was wrong
 
a constant staring in air
playing dress up–
fixing my hair
without a soul to care
 
just once...wanting to be
more than just a dare
to not dawn sex to wear
–just being there
believing...I'm finally
free of the tear
leaving behind
every frightful scare
that I'd be left
for another in bare
 
I was wrong
 
the weakest link–
everywhere
the spear always wanting
to be somewhere
–in a different anywhere
 
in blank spaces I stare
voiding empty glares
all those running
to somewhere
spreading themselves
anywhere
–getting no wheres

‘Channel’

Don’t change your independent self because of another person.

 Channel
 
a bird flies when its free
it stagnates
in captivity
its colors blossom
in variety
fading in ambiguity
‒plucking them out
in atrocity
 
in nature...the act in free
all the same
in its facility
a trapping technicality
‒being free has its complexity
 
as a woman
in her diplomacy
giving true
to her effeminacy
when treated
with significancy
 
when she's satisfied
in her sexuality
she falls into compliancy
even in another's complacency
giving up her self-sufficiency
even her style in flossy
being, at first
blissful in buoyancy
 
as it goes...comes the decadency
becoming aware
of the deficiency
–a broken down fallacy
as she meets each exigency
 
outward...comes her adamancy
as gone goes her sexy
–an inward building pudency
her usual controlled diplomacy
loses its bearing
to rampancy
 
as goes the controlling austerity
saving-money hostility
‒slowly caving
in her impetuosity
 
attention...gone its notoriety
even her newly shaped nudity
once praised with delicacy
gone...with looks
words in vulgarity
stripping
all her sexy naughty
–leaving vagueness
in commonality
 
lack of interest
opens a familiarity
once ignoring
so much secrecy
once ignoring the mendacity
pulling forward
all its perfidy
as gone...all her sensuality
understanding
its diverted generosity
she becomes lost
in recalcitrancy
–the precious kitty lost
to lunacy
 
all for giving her free
to submissive captivity
for the awakening
of her sexuality!
Continue reading “‘Channel’”

‘Love in Action’

Actions, in spite of resentment, still say LOVE

 Love in Action
 
no matter the resentment
it was given then taken
actions of love
still...not just a must
but a do
 
it's all giving
without judgment
helping without faking
actions in love
doing
without needing a clue
 
it's helping another
without commitment
being truthful
without manipulation
actions in love
doing
for words are not enough
 
it's getting over
the resentment
‒those taking without
returning the give
actions in love
still...a beautiful mark
on the heart
in the making
Continue reading “‘Love in Action’”

‘Shouldering Damage’

You deal and accept the physical damage caused by narcissism’s carelessness

 
Shouldering Damage
 
upon her shoulders
carries the weight–
shouldering damage
from those who couldn't stay
–a go-getter
they couldn't take
she...never wanting‒
any kinda hate
‒that was never
her intended fate
‒she let love lead the way
ending in heavy price's
to pay
 
only in moments
she lived in sedate
all them medical doctors
had to medicate
she just needed room‒
a bit of space
to grasp the idea
of her body ache
never using it as an escape
‒it hurt...and she was its bait
 
she knows she gave it all
she wasn't some pity rage doll–
standing somewhere in stall
she answered a simple call
–but others led her to fall
not caring the damage at all
 
upon her shoulders‒
she wears the cape
an anti-depressant to mask
a different kinda ache
–emotional chains
she couldn't tolerate
a burning heart
left in saturate
mixed with anger
lust and hate
screaming
without intentional berate
from love
that just couldn't stay
 
then again‒
she let love be her mate
a heart damaged‒
in too many ways
–again...a turn in obliterate
a brain burned in uncultivate
all that damage‒
on her shoulders
in blissful weight
men who couldn't bear
the cape
of her physical‒
being in waste
 
she knows she gave it all
she wasn't some pity rage doll–
standing somewhere in stall
she answered a simple call
–but others led her to fall
not caring the damage at all
 
she now wears‒
a suit of armor
from love's mate
as the heavy scars from fake–
I can't stay
you...I could only tolerate
builds her face
straight to a destiny's fate–
the writer in massive create
 
she...to never deny God
in whatever she faced
so she shoulders damage
left behind–
by carelessness
and self hate
building her rose‒
from a destroyer's
intentional state
 
she knows‒
she gave it all
she wasn't some pity rage doll–
standing somewhere in stall
she answered a simple call
–others led her to fall
not caring
the damage at all
 
oh! how
she can stand tall–
she picked herself up
from the fall
using the rest of her life
in God's hall
lost to true love's
missed call
she knows‒
she gave it her all
–it was not her
that caused
the fall!
Continue reading “‘Shouldering Damage’”

‘Hidden Treasure’

Discovering the hidden treasure in yourself!

 Hidden Treasure
 
I found it
in the mince of broken
it was afraid and hidden
an abundantly harvested token
‒over used and forsaken
 
I took it in
without fear's notion
‒not even feeling a demotion
I bathed
in its scented potion
rolled around
in its storied creation
 
I overlooked‒
its wicked formation
for I saw‒
a different translation
‒one that needed
a believer's gratification
one with a heart-filled formulation
 
I listened
to its every beckon
sometimes, in stages of drunken
 
all around...deemed it poison
something to be shackled‒
in a far-away prison
 
I threw out‒
traditionalized opinions
nothing stuck‒
rotten or forbidden
its scent just heightened
‒nothing could be wrong
or mistaken
 
I moved like lightening
intentional burns‒
gone...forgotten
‒days passing slow, steadfast‒
good ridden!
I drove it‒
to an endless vacation
‒whatever conviction
out...came my eviction
 
I smiled as I saw its rising
all my stops...fully opened
pulling it out of hopeless‒
with my inner-most motivation
‒a darkened star had risen!
 
I fought everything
in grand petition
every inside concentration‒
I put aside
rose to the occasion
‒with the fierceness of driven
this hidden treasure
overcoming every treason
to become the lamination
of a new generation!
 
stop!....
 
reveal
came its different ideas written
all avenues taken‒
off records...stricken
–beating all those defeating‒
overcoming...petitions
a losing validation!
 
I lost to its mention
‒there...in its private station
came to life‒
its own treasure hidden
in all its careful motions‒
belts and strings
forcefully tightened
 
I craved to be enlightened
–nothing valued...given
anything to elevate my vision
halted in moments of frighten
 
I fought constant bent roads‒
tried to straighten
tried to remember each lesson
through all that glistened‒
it had its own secrets woven
‒knowledge in listen
mixing up pointless decisions
taking all the forgivens
icing them‒
in the forever of frozen
 
yes, I found it
in the mince of broken
it was afraid and hidden
an abundantly harvested token
‒over used and forsaken
 
but all the good of will‒
off...steadily shakened
breathing‒
living a horrid token
in anger's hidden conviction
‒all that's been stolen‒
on others
its constant reliving
 
it found its way‒
in rebuilding
using knowledge given
slashing‒
all help's salutations
keeping to itself‒
a stolen formulation
‒to avoid sharing‒
treasures hidden
as I sit
in lost wanderings–
moments
I took it
out of forsaken
Continue reading “‘Hidden Treasure’”

‘Anger’s Infest’

Anger wants you steadfast! God wants you moving forward!

 Anger's Infest
 
feel it beneath your skin
evil's way of getting within
actions in horror's den
‒ways of evil's perfect sin
 
it'll trap you in cussing
it'll condemn you in swearing
pulling at you...probing
wanting your reaction
for it's only satisfaction
 
it'll take all
of your triggering notions
you...down...dragging
as it smiles
in sadistic laughing
craving your giving in
your fight...it's welcoming
celebrating
your mind's condemn
 
anger...evil's infested gem
words, actions
its consistency in playing
wanting you
self to defend
so it can celebrate
in its win
 
feel it beneath your skin
evil's way of getting within
actions in horror's den
‒ways of evil's perfect sin
Continue reading “‘Anger’s Infest’”

‘His Softness’

That which gives you inspiration to go on!

A sample from Book 12

 His Softness
(Sweet Man)
 
there's moments
I want to cry
in this aging bit of life
‒not understanding
what to fight
he comes into my sight
 
deep in my thoughts
I get lost...caught
 
then he kneels before me
‒my world gets lost
in his sea
cradling me in his arms
all that fight...gone
 
aren't you tired of this yet
 
his question without hiss
we both knowing
we keep rocking a boat
that just needs
to float
 
yes
 
my response in insist
over and over...rowing
untying
this knotting rope
without losing
gentle's hope
 
feeling it all melt away
with soft words‒
he has to say
as he pulls me
in his sway
 
I want this‒
not just for today
but every day, in every way
 
I know the truth‒
when I look into his face
love...in every line
to trace
as his black hair
fades to gray
by his side
I feel everything safe
 
when he leaves the room
behind...closes the door
I'm left with my thoughts
shifting deep
in my core
 
yes, I'm tired of this
 
love is far more perfect
surrounded by his softness
then sitting in a room
lost in miss
his love
trying to forget
Continue reading “‘His Softness’”

‘Humble of Mercy’

You Want It to Be! So Bad….

A sample from Book 12

(September 26, 2018)—

Praise for Joy and Security of the RighteousKeep me safe, O God, for in You I take refuge. I said to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing.’ As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom in all my delight. The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips. Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup; You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let Your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.―Psalm 16

Continue reading “‘Humble of Mercy’”

‘Unconditional Terms’

‘Unconditional’ Fades When Another Takes Your Place!

A sample from Book 12

(July 25, 2018 [Didn’t post on Facebook.])—When toxicity takes its toll, there’s nothing to say or do.

A weak heart turns to go, finds a new heart to rip apart. A strong heart cries alone, struggling to regain ground, move on. You don’t lose to cheating. You lose to betrayal. That’s why those who don’t marry, stay single. They can just hang it up, move on to another. The faithful one can’t do this.

Continue reading “‘Unconditional Terms’”

‘Knife’

Surviving the Knife of Those Who Betray You!

A sample from Book 12

(April 21, 2018)—That knife becomes weaker when we gain the support of others, when we start to see the true meaning behind our life. That knife doesn’t come out that easy especially when you see everyone’s true disclosure.

There’s so much to say, then there’s nothing to say. I have this much on my mind: If they don’t want to see you, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, they won’t see you.

Continue reading “‘Knife’”