Tag: codependent

‘There’s This Time’ (God)

The ONLY KICKER: Honest heart! You must possess it. You aren’t healed until you have it! Get to that child heart. You do possess it.

 There's This Time (God)
  
 there's this time
 time times time
 this taught together
 to take together
 this time taught
  
 to twine together
 time times time
 talk together twice
 thrice together talk
 truancy times twilight
  
 tangle two times two
 time times time
 the twine twisted
 together twisted twine
 twine times time
  
 there's this time
 time times time
 twiddling tangled twist
 to touch together
 twice times time

(January 23, 2021)—On July 19, 2020 I received and posted the following message: ‘Wow to you O America!’ Declares the Lord, ‘You failed to govern, you failed to correct your young, you failed to hear My warnings. Woe to you, you will know that it is I. The ravage of My wrath has just begun. Like Tyre, you will know! Woe, to the peach, who I will take. Woe to you who say you know Me and do nothing to help heal. Your place is worse than that of the rapist. Woe to the young. Woe to you! This is the Alpha and the Omega! The beginning and the end. Woe to you who have angered Me! Woe to you! A sign will soon be given. You will know that I, the Lord Almighty, am speaking to My servant. Soon you will know a prophet walks among you!’

No one listened. I’m posting it again here because David said to. This is for those in the United States. God called Donald Trump ‘the peach‘. He had me write a number of writings concerning him directly. Along with the presidential funeral, which I did not interrupt correctly. I think now everyone can.

Continue reading “‘There’s This Time’ (God)”

‘Channel’

Don’t change your independent self because of another person.

 Channel
  
 a bird flies when its free
 it stagnates
in captivity
 its colors blossom
in variety
 fading in ambiguity
 ‒plucking them out
in atrocity
  
 in nature...the act in free‒
 all the same
in its facility
 a trapping technicality
 ‒being free has its complexity
  
 as a woman
in her diplomacy
 giving true
to her effeminacy
 when treated
with significancy
  
 when she's satisfied
in her sexuality
 she falls into compliancy
 even in another's complacency
 giving up her self-sufficiency
 even her style in flossy
 being, at first
blissful in buoyancy
  
 as it goes...comes the decadency
 becoming aware
of the deficiency
 –a broken down fallacy
 as she meets each exigency
  
 outward...comes her adamancy
 as gone goes her sexy
 –an inward building pudency
 her usual controlled diplomacy
 loses its bearing
to rampancy
  
 as goes the controlling austerity
 saving-money hostility
 ‒slowly caving
in her impetuosity
  
 attention...gone its notoriety
 even her newly shaped nudity
 once praised with delicacy
 gone...with looks
words in vulgarity
 stripping
all her sexy naughty
 –leaving vagueness
in commonality
  
 lack of interest
opens a familiarity
 once ignoring
so much secrecy
 once ignoring the mendacity
 pulling forward
all its perfidy
 as gone...all her sensuality
 understanding
its diverted generosity
 she becomes lost
in recalcitrancy
 –the precious kitty lost
to lunacy
  
 all for giving her free
 to submissive captivity
 for the awakening
of her sexuality!

(May 9, 2019)―It’s funny how life repeats itself when we don’t learn the lesson the first time around. The funny thing for me is that I wrote about this before. I guess it pays to write about it again. The woman and all of her charm and personality has a way of turning into the woman her man wants her to be. Hold on before you scream: That’s not true. I do have a very good point.

Continue reading “‘Channel’”

‘Love in Action’

Actions, in spite of resentment, still say LOVE

 Love in Action
  
 no matter the resentment
 it was given then taken
 actions of love
 still...not just a must
but a do
  
 it's all giving
without judgment
 helping without faking
 actions in love
 doing
without needing a clue
  
 it's helping another
without commitment
 being truthful
without manipulation
 actions in love
 doing
for words are not enough
  
 it's getting over
the resentment
 ‒those taking without
returning the give
 actions in love
 still...a beautiful mark
 on the heart
in the making

(April 30, 2019)―Resentment. I’ve written a lot about resentment in Book 12. It’s part of the codependency deal. A codependent will give and give without thinking of themselves and then they begin to resent it because they carry the expectation of being given in return. Of course, the given in return doesn’t happen most of the time. A codependent is a bit fucked up in a sense because of this expectation.

Continue reading “‘Love in Action’”

‘Depths of Heart’

Mind your heart or others will not!

A sample from Book 11

 Depths of Heart
  
 protecting self‒ 
not letting any other
 put it on a shelf
 seems to be utmost important
 ‒above anything else
  
 for in self
happiness lies
 rises high
above health
any amount of wealth
 ‒pulling the heart
out of hell
 out of the darkest well
  
 for in truth heart dwells
 untied from man's inhuman belt
 released from whatever shelf
man tries to impel
 keeping the heart from melt
 ‒happiness locked in a cell
  
 get out, get out
see yourself‒
 way deep inside
where happiness compels
 in heart
where it truly swells
Continue reading “‘Depths of Heart’”

‘Source’

Anxiety created from the fight against codependency!

A sample from Book 11

  Source
  
 she waits‒ 
closes her eyes
 breathes deep
 ‒her face tingles
her heart races
 her palms sweat‒
 a heat under her skin
rises...coming quick
  
 shh...she repeats to herself
  
 each sound
each speck of light

 builds the burning

she fights
  
 shh...again and again
  
 don't do it...not again
 she begs repeatedly
  
 settle down, please
  
 begging, begging

   the exploding need 
 
 building, building
  
 forcing her mouth closed
 forcing her body steal
 ‒as tears stream down her face
  
 begging, begging
  
 can't you see...anyone
 can't you see
I'm trying, trying...
 my grip is slipping...
  
 as she loses control‒
 her mouth yells
or her tears fall
 ‒no matter who's around
 down, down, down
she falls
  
 back to a child‒ 
innocent, broken
 just for a while
  
 'til she regains
strengthens
 to go
one more round
in life's paradigm
 where between herself
and herself
she fights
  
 hoping, hoping
  
 the next time‒ 
she'll steady the line
 ‒that too often...
 breaks her holding-together vine
  
Continue reading “‘Source’”

‘Truth’

Racism, hate: Evil’s best friends. Don’t let it consume you!

A sample from Book 11

 Truth
  
 liars seek truth‒
 falsifying a life
without any light
  
 manipulation...their due
 cutting it on cue
 ‒without noticing
the coming dues
  
 their belief‒ 
trying to convince you
 all they do
true, true, true
 backing them‒ 
there are few
  
 their spots change
sending you to the loo
 oh! what to do?
 ‒without cursing them, too
  
 truth is truth
existing
no half truths
 ‒it's either all true
 or just makings
of a waterloo
Continue reading “‘Truth’”

‘Disillusionment’

When politics blinds your truth!

A sample from Book 11

 Disillusionment  

 she stood there shaking
 what have I done‒
 causing this imagined awakening
 ‒have I forsaken
 forgive me, Lord†
ease this hating
  
 in her silence
her heart opened
 ‒a simple token
 what truly lived
in this here maiden
  
 she watched them all
 as the stones began to fall
 ‒to her knees
no longer...she felt tall
 over and over
coming at her skin‒
 little hard balls
  
 then a sudden stall
stopped...silence
 a mere moment
she recalled
  
 the dust settled
 her tightly closed eyes opened
 upon her dress‒
 tiny red splattered drops dribbled
 her pain...tiny tickles
 what...a blink before‒ 
it seemed a fable
  
 her fear lifted‒  
was this a gift
 her sins shifting
to ultimate's forgiveness
 ‒this she did not know
 but the sudden stop
 ‒she felt her heart unfold
  
 cast your stone‒ 
if clean...your bones
  
 she heard the voice
then the made choice
 as all around
stone after stone
 hit...not her
but the ground
  
 silence remained
she still knelt‒
 in blood stains
 as shifting of feet
the sudden in retreat
  
 silence...not daring
to lift her head
 then a shadow overcame the red
 a hand reached out
get up child
 a mere whisper without shout
  
 strength from Him† came
 as her legs rose
 ‒her eyes did the same
  
 His† light dried her tears
 all became so clear‒ 
her heart felt clean
 in His† eyes...she seen‒ 
truth's unending scene
 her life redeemed
it wasn't a dream
 ‒pure and serene
forever...trust in Him†
 she proclaimed
 for the Lord†...by her side
remained
Continue reading “‘Disillusionment’”

‘Knowing is Living’

Don’t be afraid to follow your heart!

A sample from Book 7

 Knowing is Living
  
 if you're stuck
at a place
 know
there's reason
for your stay
  
 the longer you wait
 ‒longer you'll suffocate
 look deep in your face
beyond flesh and bone‒
 beyond memories you chase
 beyond hurt
you want to erase
 beyond a past
that did not last
  
 deeper you must go
 for life
again
to flow
  
 it's no one's race
but your own
  
 when you're at
a constant steadfast
 there's something
way down deep
 you must surpass
something to grasp
 ‒learn
so a future
you can earn
  
 stop complaining
living in emptiness
 look at self
get off the damn shelf
 you again
build
all else
seal
  
 beyond face
look deeper
 reveal your hidden secret
bloom
 open your eyes
see
 your new life is ready
waiting‒
 ‒a steady, slow pace
for you to take
 nothing's at stake
 but self
your inside wealth
 listen...hear
for you've already earned
 what in your heart
burns
 your fruits‒ 
it's all up to you
Continue reading “‘Knowing is Living’”

‘Spaces of Real’

That place where you are no longer hurting!

A sample from Book 7

 Spaces of Real
  
 where do you fit in
 when you're searching
for truth
 –all seems a flute
  
 when you're pushing– 
revealing all you do
 just to get through
  
 when you talk to God†
 –each day
 just getting by
 wondering
how
this day
you survived
  
 knowing
because of someone else
 tears you try
not to cry
  
 over anger
you become
a hardened manager
 wondering
what it is
 that's
lost inside of you
  
 yes, where do you fit in
 –this society of fake
 lost in its self-absorbed wake
  
 when men are weak
 constantly
searching
 something always better
they seek
  
 hanging you out to dry
 without reasons of why
  
 leaving you
constantly
searching
 for spaces of real
 where there's no reason
to conceal
 what's truly hiding
deep inside
Continue reading “‘Spaces of Real’”

‘Pillars of Death’

Depression: The Feeling of Your Own Death!

A sample from Book 7

 Pillars of Death
  
 I'm an apparent suicide
 who took
everything buried inside
 ‒sprayed it out
like pesticide
  
 they call it a homicide
 raging words
was all it took
 for love to dry
 ‒leaving only tears
to cry
  
 slowly I died
 asking every kind of why
  
 why only anger's words
was enough
to cast me aside
  
 why my truth
was reason
 my life
 ‒its very existence
to hide
  
 my being
no longer resides
 in hearts
I believed
could override
 evil's prancing stride
  
 they all cast me aside
 for thoughts...words
 I could no longer
hold inside
  
 instead of holding me
 as these eyes cried
they buried me
 ‒an unmarked grave
 deep outside
   with bugs and flies
Continue reading “‘Pillars of Death’”