‘In Truth’s Décor’

To love Unconditionally is a Choice that allows us not to give up hope when all seems lost. Healing is a Choice as well. It takes courage and strength…that of a Warrior. Love yourself. You ARE that important. God Bless!

 In Truth's Décor
 
esther's story's secretly woven‒
giving all a simple token
‒divine truth goes unbroken–
surviving through symbols‒
weaved into carefully
chosen words
‒begging those in hear:
 
open ears
to what is served
‒awards given
to those in deserve
 
all's well in the token‒
driven to a back-there look
in divine truth's beginning
 
(the two and zero
of grace given)
 
twelve's woven...over and over‒
in weaving words in deem
taken from the awakening
of enlightened nineteen
leaving behind
that of zero and seven
and a solemn maiden's hand‒
as she earnestly plows through
a worded, forgotten lace
as a man devours the beauty
of a woman's face
 
hungrily devouring God's†
carefully-placed words
–capturing in her web
the warmth of their embrace
‒opening up all  her
tormented traps
as He lifted His welcoming hat‒
giving what
her world...lacked
 
spring forward...years buried‒
learning the Way
in this worded maze
over and over‒
appearing through haze
divine passages‒
screaming out their maze
 
'look, look, look‒
there's more than words
in this book!'

 
in all these wording roots
listening, hearing‒
the spirit-driven cue
‒she knew exactly
what to do:
carefully orchestrate
explanation's verbate
through a divine magistrate‒
without breaking
golden rules
set by those
who hold the glue
 
don't be lost
in that of fool‒
there's an awakening
in two
–so listen
for the one tiny clue‒
for together
not two but three
‒do away with deception
for the better of the few
 
understand the coming mates‒
tally up this circle of eight
‒a player of aces and eights
where future holds dates
…and it's never in late
 
the cards...held by Thee†
‒oh the power of three!‒
built up the one and only Son†
who personally chose the one
a simple man's son
‒revealing truth
on fingers counting five
trying to live, stay alive
 
bringing troubles
screaming‒
I feel like I'm fifteen!
 
believing what seemed lost–
can never be redeemed
–not seeing the growing
of the unseen vine
‒driven solely
by the one who's Divine†
 
when all brought together‒
revealing the mercy
in signs
‒grace given
in the sum of nine
 
listen, listen, listen
there's so much more‒
in esther's given token
a weave already woven
spoken in words written
for destiny not forsaken
 
seven maids entered her den
seven years...the first begin
 
a year for the reviving‒
think of the twelve
apostles setting out to build
‒rethink
that back-there twelve
a beginning in mend
when in comes‒
the simple in friend
 
as came the twelve plus the one
‒Jesus...the one and three
of thirteen‒
the father of love in stream
awakens a rose in need
–fulfilling truth's chosen destiny
 
from His† reason in be‒
life formed
from a lover's spirit
as the whiff
of an october's harvest
‒the breathe of the tenth
opened gates
in a lustful ingest
‒a beginning
in awakefulness
 
from esther's gentle cave
her company of seven maids‒
thinkings of seven years
of  trails and testings‒
a tally in fourteen
‒a maiden forgetting
what was seen
like that of the king–
a thrown away dame
placing cards
on a lover's flame
 
truth's awakening‒
always comes in blind
as hormonal lights
screams again...fifteen!
–discovering
a woven-in beam
by God's† driven stream‒
the maiden awakens
in believe‒
like loving in a dream
feeling...again‒
the age of sweet sixteen
 
revelation...esther brings‒
as strife
came to her king
like waves of a hurricane
mixed with sways of cane
days to months‒
built in time
adding up
across the line‒
in whispers
of a spiritual nine
‒a constant set in design
to be the soul keeper
in remind
 
then time came‒
to shift the scene
like the brave age
of seventeen
building up
to that of nineteen‒
that ending of teen
‒steps in the makings
of a great king
 
a maiden looking back‒
the makings of a queen
twelve months‒
in a beauty's regime
‒six in the oils of myrrh
‒six in cosmetics and perfumes
living in the palace of a king
‒within months
counting twenty-four‒
she lived in the dream
of a true queen‒
fighting behind screens
for the better
of her king
 
in the spirit of nine‒
the mince of a hurricane
combining twenty-four
lights replacing rain
all adds up
to God's willing beam:
 
the spirit of three
along side the strength of three
moving carefully‒
a well-driven destiny
 
oh, gentle morning dove‒
look, look, look
the tone of esther in see‒
in that first month
in that twelfth year
‒the awakenings
of one and three
 
as two lived, two died
‒the takings of four
in the give
‒the getting and giving‒
for hearts to survive
 
as in the building
of an awakening‒
that of one and three
as a written record
of beautifying the heal‒
that of one and three
‒the beautiful sway
of thirteen
 
as came the twelve plus the one
‒Jesus...the one and three
of thirteen†
the father of love in stream
awakens a rose in need
–fulfilling truth's chosen destiny
 
all in the makings
of a king
‒over-looking
ten thousand talents
‒given then resented
then worked for
in a manifested dream
‒without thought
of the connected ream
 
as...seven years
in begin
as in the twelve
plus the One
‒Jesus...the one and three
of thirteen
 
oh, the pages
of esther's revelation!
a broken-down‒
spiritual enlightenment
leaving a mystery‒
in driven
an ending and a beginning
‒a moving to a second
in time
where there's no drawn lines
for God's right on time
 
as brought...again and again‒
one plus two plus seven plus eight
one and eight
‒the grace of nine
the breathing
of God's pure light
 
as one plus two plus seven plus nine
one and nine...the single
of one
God's number in sign
‒the highest in Divine!
 
bringing together
all this rhyme‒
 
esther's beauty‒
by a king...seen
but not just her beauty‒
captured his gleam
‒the beauty
of her hearing
really made her
his queen
 
in all awakenings–
there's forgiving
for all comes to an end
bringing in a new begin
–a carefully woven token
revealing God's†
enlightened scene
the sum...that of nineteen
where alls...not what it seems
–for in the sum
comes the means–
where the one and the nine
builds in ten
simplifying to the One†
who...above all else‒
is the infinity
of the sum!

(September 22, 2019)―Enjoy.

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‘I Work For You’

Keep pushing through. The gifts a waiting are far more than you ever dreamed. Cry, scream, slam your fist into walls…know it will be okay. Your life is just beginning.—kel

(September 8, 2019)–Breathe. It’s okay.

Then Jesus said to His host, ‘When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid, but when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.—Luke 14:12-14

 I Work For You
 
I'm here
struggling, too
run, jump...come through
my energy
I pass to you
in flight
I visit you
my love
I give to you
helping you get through
 
I work for you
say prayers in twos
we said our adieus
not in words of true
but in faces of blue
as pride and ego
forced the cue
–what's already written
in the book of truth
 
I know you see it, too
you feel my energy–
in heart, get through
leaving you
in tads of confuse
run, jump...come through
–it's the spirit of soothe
passing it all to you
 
look to the morning doves‒
as on the ground...lies the dew
no need to kneel in a pew
just look up‒
they are watching you
even hearing
what you're thinking, too
 
I work for you
in a manifestation clue
run, jump...come through
it'll be okay
whatever you're going through
keep going‒
the time line is right on cue
I'll be waiting for you
through all your doubt‒
through all the emotions
that swarm you‒
give it to the words do
God's† waiting on you
urgency in time's review
as I lay...working for you
knowing you'll get through
‒forgiven...will be
all your past dues

‘Channel’

Don’t Change Your Independent Self Because Of A Man

(May 9, 2019)―It’s funny how life repeats itself when we don’t learn the lesson the first time around. The funny thing for me is that I wrote about this before. I guess it pays to write about it again. The woman and all of her charm and personality has a way of turning into the woman her man wants her to be. Hold on before you scream: That’s not true. I do have a very good point.

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‘Love in Action’

Actions, In Spite of Resentment, Still Say LOVE

(April 30, 2019)―Resentment. I’ve written a lot about resentment in Book 12. It’s part of the codependency deal. A codependent will give and give without thinking of themselves and then they begin to resent it because they carry the expectation of being given in return. Of course, the given in return doesn’t happen most of the time. A codependent is a bit fucked up in a sense because of this expectation.

I’ve written many poems about letting go and having zero expectations. That’s because it’s part of the fight to break codependency. I’ve been judged a lot when it comes to my writings by those I love. They really don’t understand the process. My writings are about feelings or emotions in the moment during this struggle of healing. When I read some of it, it hurts me, too. But that is the whole point…writing every single feeling/emotion down in order for myself and others to see ourselves and understand what we are feeling. If that makes sense.

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‘What Comes Out’

Anger: How Changing This One Emotion Can Change Your Entire Life!

(April 27, 2019)―There are 2 large garbage cans that came with the house I live in. When we first moved in, they were in the corner of the garage. The side where I park my car. My car door opens up to the wall side of the garage. I have boxes stacked in there, which I never unpacked also on the side where I park my car. About a month ago, we were told by the landlord that we had to clean up the backyard. After the winter, the pine needles and pine cones had added up. So, in order to make my job a little easier, I moved the garbage cans to the side of the house, inside the metal gate. Since, they were out of the way in the garage, I moved over some boxes, which made getting out of my car easier.

On garbage day this past week, the sweet man brought in the garbage cans from the road. I was grateful, except he put them back in the garage, moving the boxes back to where they were, which made getting out of my car difficult. Anger. I got out of my car. Yanked the garaged cans back outside and commenced to grabbing some empty boxes from his side of the garage and scattered them behind his vehicle. Why? At the time, and when he questioned me, to show him what being inconvenienced feels like.

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‘Shouldering Damage’

You Deal and Accept the Physical Damage Caused By Narcissism’s Carelessness

(April 24, 21019)—I was sent to a heart specialist today. Although I’m 50, I’m always the youngest in the room when it comes to things like this. (I started saying this phrase back in 2013 when I returned to the VA. I was always the youngest in the room back then.) So, I’m sitting there going through Scriptures, keeping my mind occupied. I didn’t want to think about why I was there. Then I got called to the back. A slew of tests were ordered, including a monitor, which I’ll have to wear for a week.

I was there because an EKG came back abnormal. It’s not the first time. The very first time, I’m sitting in my therapist’s office and she told me I had a rash all over my skin. I tan so I didn’t realize it. The EKG read Sudden Death at the top. In the course of several months, I had four Sudden Death EKGs! I can’t even tell you what that does to a person’s mind. I had all kinds of thoughts racing: Did I do enough? Will my kids ever forgive me? Will I finish my books in time? Etc., etc.

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‘Hidden Treasure’

Discovering the Hidden Treasure in Yourself!

(April 17, 2019)―Life Is Preserved By Righteousness. Righteousness is Obedience. Recognizing God’s Healing Power. Knowing Forgiveness is Available. Forgiveness Is A Must In Self and In World Peace.

Parable of Hidden TreasureThe kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.—Matthew 13:44

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‘Anger’s Infest’

Anger Wants You Steadfast! God Wants You Moving Forward!

(April 15, 2019)―‘Anger’s Infest’…A lot of thoughts have been going through my mind lately. Back in October, during my intervention, I had this strong feeling put into my heart to apply for graduate school. It was so powerful that it actually made me happy. I bypassed it when the sweet man started texting me, then we started seeing each other again. Wrong move, or was it?

Call to HolinessTherefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God―this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is―His good, pleasing and perfect will.―Romans 12:1,2

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‘His Softness’

That Which Gives You Inspiration to Go On!

A sample from Book 12

(January 4, 2018)—It’s taken me a while to gather my thoughts with this piece. ‘His Softness’ was the very last piece I wrote for 2018.‘His Softness’…the sweet man. I’ve written about him since 2012 when we first met as friends. I wrote about him as my lover. I wrote about him as my enemy. I wrote about him as my best friend. There’s a lot I didn’t write about.

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‘You Bitch!’

Simple Ways for You to Defeat Negative Self Talk

A sample from Book 12

(October 16, 2018)—Are you mad at me for cussing? Get over yourself. This is a commentary that screams—It’s time for some cussing!

I’m going to give you some good information here if you suffer from depression, anger, negative self-talk to help you start turning things around in your life. Don’t worry. I’m taking this same journey, so let’s ride!

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