Tag: abuse

‘Fight!’

Crimes against you…it’s nothing to do with you. It’s a test of will…those God holds dearest are tested the hardest. Don’t give up! Don’t lose faith.

 Fight!
  
 put your heart
 into it
 fight the beast
 of it
 cry, yell, scream‒
 beat the walls
 of it
 ‒tear it down
 to bits
 you got this
 all the evil‒
 resist
  
 fight, fight, fight it
  
 you can get
 the best of it
  
 strip it, yank it
 ‒it wasn't your bit
 it wasn't your fault‒
 in any of it
  
 destroy that bitch
  
 fight, fight, fight
  
 punch the shit
 out of it
 be bigger than it
 you've got this
  
 scream...hiss!
  
 tear it
 to fucking bits
  
 fight! fight!
 fight it!

‘Undo What’s Done’

You are worth every bit of struggle. It is up to you to take those struggles and help others with theirs. That’s the meaning of being the body and Jesus† being head. He† is with you. Never forget that!

 Undo What's Done
  
 you are His† son
 a tiny dot of sun‒
 that can wage wars
 beneath the stars
 from so close
 yet so far
  
 I feel it all‒
 deep inside
 ‒you have
 what it takes
 undo what's done
 ‒show the world
 your sum
  
 you are His† son
 larger than life
 cut by a knife
 bleeding deep‒
 from the inside
 ‒throw it, throw it
 far from your outside
 grow outward‒
 don't hide
  
 prove to Him†
 you are more‒
 than just a son
  ‒you are a light
 shining
 from a darkened sun

‘The Divine’s Chase’ and ‘Chastisement…Useless’

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. Oh, how true that is!

(September 9)—My fuck-you church awakens again! I sit day after day waiting for people to change, waiting for them to actually mean what they say. It’s been over 10 years now and I watch them fail their tests over and over again. It’s really sad because to say that you love then to crucify someone that you called friend, to ignore your parent when they’ve done nothing to you but say the truth, to ignore your family because they are doing what they are supposed to do is not following the way of love.

I’ve been writing a lot and reading and watching. I’ve been totally spending all my time alone…in prayer, in meditation. I’m not going to lie to you, it’s hard. Not the being alone part, the crucifixion part. Why? The solid questioning or challenging of what I’m saying. I haven’t said anything that isn’t in the Bible, and the thoughts are mine, the visions are not, but you won’t believe that because of….? Oh, man, that’s why. Yes, I’m sarcastic. I’ve always been this way from time to time. Hard Love. I’ve written about this a lot. Do you get it yet?

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‘Backlash’

You Must Learn To Fight With Your Mind!

(August 24)―Wow! is how today began. A jolting out of bed at 4 a.m. to write. I didn’t want to get up. Three times I was literally jolted out of bed. I finally got up and I’ve been writing ever since. That’s what I’m suppose to do: keep writing.

I mentioned in a few writings that I’ll eventually have a section on here about my meditation journey…it will either be in a category or an entire section to itself. All I know is that I’m on an extraordinary journey and I’ve been on this journey for years now, only this time it’s elevated, and I’m to share the entire process here.

I was warned by some to not talk about this, that it will open myself up to evil. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this already. The One who has been guiding my way for a good 10 years now says different. So, I haven’t been stirred wrong yet. It’s been down-right scary at times, but I haven’t been let down. So, I’m not going to ignore now. I’m told to write…I’m going to write.

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‘What Says You’

I Am Woman and My Faith Is My Choice!

(August 8)—My spiritual journey is continuing. I’m not really ready to talk about it but I’m sure there will come a day. Today, I was led to Acts…pages that I never marked up. I have been questioning my journey lately. I’m a woman…as a former Catholic…I asked: I’m a woman. What authority do I have to talk about such things? I’m not kidding. The Catholic church has re-positioned the woman below man for hundreds and hundreds of years. I’m lucky to have finally had my eyes opened to their cruel injustice…truly against anything the Bible teaches!

But I still have that embedded inside of me, so I battle with it. Acts 17! Woman is mentioned three times! Three. Always the power of three. But that is not all that is mentioned. This part of Scripture talks about how wrong the Jews were. A people who lived…LIVED…by the word of God! The way they treated Paul reminds me so much of Islam. Yeah, go ahead and ridicule me. I really don’t give a flying fuck. Facts are facts!

What is it about LOVE that the enemy hates so much!? That’s an honest question to ask. In my long-term relationships, I put love on the front always. It was the turn of events and the guys’ true nature when it came down to the truth about love. They defied it like it was a plague. Oh, that’s that evil whore by the way.

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‘Time Allotment’

Healing Individual and Nation byway of God’s Tests!

(July 5)—I was led to Ezekiel again today. Political mess. Shootings again in America. Not schools or theaters this time…Wal-Marts! I ask: Why not Target, or the malls, or Walgreens, or any other branded store. Why Wal-Marts? Strange occurrences. The schools. Sure there were a few out-of-sort shootings trying to throw it off, but mostly schools. Then theaters. Random? Across the country. Even less than six minutes from my house! Then a concert…I’m thinking it was going to be the first of many, but then security took over. Stupid really…to target a place like Vegas…that shit spills all over the country. I went to several concerts after. Security is high! Now stores….

I’ve got to laugh at the stupidity of it all. Not about the lives lost. I pray for them. But I laugh at what the American people aren’t seeing. They are clearly after the guns…or, maybe, so it seems! Big brother. Orwell’s 1984. Think about it: They target the schools…security is beefed up. They target theaters…security is beefed up. They target concerts…security is beefed up. You can walked into any mall or store and there’s no security machine to pass through. Is that going to change as well? It all started with the airplanes. They managed to get every airport in the world tightly secured!

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‘When You Are Sure!’

The Veils Revealed Through Ezekiel 38 and 39

(July 16)―I’m to write my truth to you. A lot has been going on in my world and it is happening fast. I seem to have written enough about the healing…what we are responsible to do for ourselves. Now, the writing is upsetting in a way. I’ve had some hormonal days topped with the upstairs neighbor having strife…I’ve been sucking up the energy, and then getting this spiritual awakening (go ahead and smirk…I had to look all this up myself), now these writings that are coming. I’ve been crying for two days.

As I posted, as you can see here on my website between this posting and the posting two days ago, a post that I did not post. I didn’t get on this website on the 15th. I had too many things to do. Early, early this morning, I got notice of a posting on my author page. I didn’t post this. I contacted my website provider who also handles my security…no hacks. The post came from MY computer. No way! I didn’t post it. During the last two days, I’ve had some serious talks with God. I’ve been forced to look at my entire life, my entire sinful life and repent.

The Book of Job! Twice last night I was led to it.

Bragging, boasting. No. I’m to reveal this. I guess when this all ends for me, you will fully understand.

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‘Testing Will’

…Testimony: One of God’s Messengers
Saying YES to the Big Man Upstairs…No Matter What! My 4-year journey for love, no matter the consequences!

My Continued Spiritual Journey and My Latest Revelations…Because God Said So!

(June 13-July 6, 2019)―In this article: I will recap some events that led up to today where I’m sitting; I will show and explain how numbers work when it comes to messages and I will show how signs work (I’ve included pictures to demonstrate what I’m talking about); I will talk about the veils; I will talk about receiving messages and delivering them; and I will reveal God’s Grace once again, and how He shows His gratitude when we do what He wants us to do. So, sit back, grab a cup of coffee (because this is a very long work), and get ready to be amazed! God is powerful. God is just. God is sincere. God makes a promise and shows His mercy and delivers once we complete our vows and/or the missions that He requests from us. Learning to listen is key!

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‘Channel’

Don’t Change Your Independent Self Because Of A Man

(May 9, 2019)―It’s funny how life repeats itself when we don’t learn the lesson the first time around. The funny thing for me is that I wrote about this before. I guess it pays to write about it again. The woman and all of her charm and personality has a way of turning into the woman her man wants her to be. Hold on before you scream: That’s not true. I do have a very good point.

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‘Love in Action’

Actions, In Spite of Resentment, Still Say LOVE

(April 30, 2019)―Resentment. I’ve written a lot about resentment in Book 12. It’s part of the codependency deal. A codependent will give and give without thinking of themselves and then they begin to resent it because they carry the expectation of being given in return. Of course, the given in return doesn’t happen most of the time. A codependent is a bit fucked up in a sense because of this expectation.

I’ve written many poems about letting go and having zero expectations. That’s because it’s part of the fight to break codependency. I’ve been judged a lot when it comes to my writings by those I love. They really don’t understand the process. My writings are about feelings or emotions in the moment during this struggle of healing. When I read some of it, it hurts me, too. But that is the whole point…writing every single feeling/emotion down in order for myself and others to see ourselves and understand what we are feeling. If that makes sense.

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