‘My Turn, Your Turn’

You can’t take other people’s opinion of you seriously!

A sample from Book 9

 My Turn, Your Turn
(Sweet Man)

I'm not you
you're not me
in this
can we agree
 
there's pain‒
I've taken it
to gain
thinking‒
I'm insane
 
me...you blamed
called me names
‒your smeared campaign
left me in open terrain
running like a hurricane
‒remorse uncontained
returning
provoked disdain
batting back
in profane
my I...redirected blame
taking, absorbing‒
leaving me totally drained
 
‒all so, so in vain‒
 
in you...pain remains
‒I've not gained fame
just added pain
in me...a mixed-up pang
 
I'm not you
you're not me
in this
can we agree
 
without shame‒
from all other's pain
abstain
my I to reclaim‒
separated...strained
silencing the rein
my own thinking
regained
 
in God†
I acclaim
‒all that re-directed pain
forced anger
in defame‒
abolished...maimed
 
I've released the inflame‒
filling my own inane
understanding self-love's domain‒
to self first
be humane
 
I'm not you
you're not me
in this
can we agree
 
your pain
is your pain
 
no longer
in me
do I ingrain
what's not mine
to explain
 
I'll let you yell, complain‒
my I...constrained
these boundaries
can't be drained
 
have your say
me...you can't arraign
my I...in God's† grace
remains
 
I'm not you
you're not me
in this
there's no choice
but to agree
Continue reading “‘My Turn, Your Turn’”

‘360’

You have to re-examine the past first!

A sample from Book 9

 360
 
Lord†, You† took me
around
sound, bound, found
then back around
 
‒a 360
showing me what's wrong‒
all around me
 
I've seen plenty
I know in surety‒
it's not me
round and round
‒every degree
others can't see clarity
in self‒
running on empty
 
Lord†, I thank You†
I would have never
known‒
all this view
if it weren't for You†
taking me through
 
I pray
these words‒
I have to say
some call
silly riddles
‒but standing on principles
breaks hearts
after all
 
like the roundness
of balls
we surely fall
‒after the sudden
stall
 
the total...360
round, round
I openly see‒
after tears
I'm ready to be
what in me
You† see
 
Lord†, in Your† hands
I place me
this journey‒
back in trust
forward...I'm ready
for the thrust
Continue reading “‘360’”

‘Troubled Soul’

Other people’s issues are not yours!

A sample from Book 9

  Troubled Soul
 
your mixed personality
doesn't blend with reality
 
your verbal kindness
doesn't add to
your stalking rudeness
 
returning to reality
‒stripping all vulnerability
takes...taking responsibility‒
actions of self
before experiencing life...truly
 
changing personalities
doesn't insure securities
needed‒
to strengthen possibilities
 
living in denial
mile after mile‒
brings the mind
to crash
heading south‒
once there
‒getting there
you can only ask...how
 
take a look inside
your round and round ride
‒a mind in hide
never subsides
'til you stop for a while
sink in like a child‒
all your wounds...untie
 
open that book
given by God†
look deep...deep into your I
write down your whys
all that pain
bringing you to hide‒
all those cries
 
all those ancient words‒
so many have heard
let them be your guide
it takes time
 
people won't untie‒
all those knots inside
‒admittance...of self
the help of only God†‒
your only needed drive
way...way deep inside
‒then He'll† show you
how to fly
without you‒
having to ask why
Continue reading “‘Troubled Soul’”

‘Laughing Smile’

God wants us happy. Evil wants us sad! You do the math!

A sample from Book 9

 Laughing Smile
 
it took her a while
breaking open that smile–
gaining the strongest need
laugh...laugh like a child
 
she didn't need to ask how–
she lifted her heart to God†
walked long, long miles
for that laughing smile
 
she sealed it...inside
bringing it out
when gone was her doubt
 
no, she didn't have to shout
she learned to keep her head
in the clouds
forgetting
what frowns were about
–just laugh...yes she did
out loud
 
she had it down-pat
that girly laugh
–adding a bit of sass
you do the math–
she intended for it to last
not caring
where she was at
at anyone
came that laughing sass–
smiling so big
walking
shaking her ass
 
she knew that surety
came straight
from the Lord†
she didn't have to ask
what for
she just knew
she was worthy
 
then this thunder came
bringing her to lame
her truthfulness
remaining the same
fighting off
anger's vengeful flame
as her world
tipped its bowl
a once.again fold–
that place
she promised herself
she wouldn't go
 
she didn't choose the fold
it just slide
in to corrode
sinking its stronghold–
not letting go
 
burying
in an inside rage
she...again
locked herself in a cage
 
patiently she began to wait
living a bit sedate
wondering...why so late
that smile on her face
 
then there it was...gleaming
like in a summer's dream
waiting there
to be redeemed
 
she didn't think twice
remembering how it felt
so real, so right
she didn't really fight
she just walked
the way of the light
 
its uncertainty remains–
her holding onto it
a bit of a strain
struggling through the rain
that comes with pain
 
it did take her a while
breaking open that smile–
regaining that need
to laugh
laugh like a child
 
the first time
the second time
she didn't need to ask how
so she did again–
lift her heart to God†
taking on long, long miles
–for it's always worth the wait
for that laughing smile
Continue reading “‘Laughing Smile’”

‘Traces in Forgive’

The Lie: Destroys. Steals. Kills. You decide!

A sample from Book 9

 Traces in Forgive
 
she felt its trace
sweet word's lace
soft-spoken based
deep inside-
yes...she felt its trace
 
sneaking up inside
like a burning desire

give it
let it live

as her sixth sense
stood the fence
 
no, no, no
it's all a show
 
face after face
encountering
same's constant date
lies, deception, betray
nothing real
stands behind
words in say
 
she bows her head
thinking of words said
 
why this careless play
why not just go away
 
then tears cry
not for self
as in her bed
she lies
–but for souls
behind her tries
–their coming day
served on a self-made
imagined silver-lined tray
 
karma
its coming arena
choices in free-will
consequences-
already sealed
 
in her bowed stance
she dances her dance
–for them
solemn in pray
nothing more to say
for truth
all they had to do–
say it
-her total
 
I forgive you
 
washing it
all away
 
now...just in self
to give
forgive
without them ever knowing
–her never willing
in showing
her forever hiding
her deepness
in always loving
as they live
in the continue of dying
 
as she moves
forward in free
 
even if she meets
the Lord first
 
in her bowed stance
knowing truth
they'll still be in fool
drooling in thirst
seeking free
without ever
having the joy of it
in see
 
Continue reading “‘Traces in Forgive’”

”Secret’ No More!’

Their Play Is All the Same!

A sample from Book 9

 'Secret' No More!
 
the cat's out the bag
 
on the surface‒
I no longer scratch
‒don't want to sound
like a hag
not even a nag
but I'm done
playing this little game
of tag
 
I no longer want
the jab‒
that sneaky, sly syntax
keeping me in a corner
my existence entrapped
secrets over nightcaps
 
for so long
at it
I merely laughed
playing along‒
this hidden
out-of-sight craft
 
for so long
I fell into its path
to feel barely half
of a lover's swag
 
not any more
do these eyes sag
I now see
the repeated red flags
 
here they are‒
if you want to keep track
here they are‒
if your eyes
are stuck in lack:
 
away from public view‒
begins
the slow, gentle snatch
 
text this, text that

a hi here
a hey there
even the wyd flair
 
then the ignore
playing-with-the-mind anthrax's
added-on little snap
 
maybe a phone call or two‒
avoiding a bit of snag
 
(the now understood common trap)
 
oh! how texting does that
 
‒just a tiny dab
the get-what-they-want hatch
 
turning texting to sexting
in a flash
 
then sit back...relax
as she falls in the trap
her mind...now attacked
with a little zap‒
man-ego-driven
mind-boggling witchcraft
sealed and wrapped‒
one-sided—playing-out wrath
 
sexting‒
the perfect-controlling telegraph
 
then comes
the moving-on slow raft
to get that big splash
‒adding to their stash
images behind
a monitored glass
 
a little skin
in flash
with some sexy sass
 
the building in pizzazz
wanting more
of that flabbergast
 
building, building
téte-a-téte
 
then veiled in a masque‒
when questions invade
the on-and-off going chitchat‒
 
a quickened spat
back to the ignoring splat‒
ego...alive and well
in combat
 
'til comes that final blast
flesh to unmask
an act in diplomat
making her feel all that‒
the sexy little kitty cat
 
‒the play in chat
becomes
an in-the-flesh transact
 
good or bad‒
putting her in abstract
continued words on a pad‒
her mind to distract
rather hijacked
from their away-from-her
reality fact‒
 
she's not the only lass‒
their on-going sexting hack
blatant ways in acrobat‒
that and this
this and that
 
'til her avoided questions
forces a react‒
 
why not spend time with me
why the constant disappearing act

 
she innocently asks
wanting beyond
the sexual wrap‒
wanting out of secret's
hidden tap
 
the continued avoiding lap
puts her mind
in wondering's rasp
 
all-stop...hold
goes the lit glass‒
with no returned téte-a-téte
or to-the-door dash
or a together attach
nor explanations to patch
or synchronizing photographs
not even a social-media match
 
her mind opens up‒
I've seen all that
recognizing perfectly
the plotted graph
 
experience, experience
the exact-patterned zigzag
she's once again caught
knowings in fact‒
 
their intentions
won't go
any further than that
 
for her unanswered questions
suspicions‒
her experiences in reasoning
reality's opened-up rap‒
 
she's just one of many cats
in their secret's rattrap
 
‒with all these red flags
no need for a polygraph
I don't even need an ax
or a wiretap
not even some mindless booby-trap
 
just a sentence or two‒
seeing through the claptrap
then sit back
watch the unwrap‒
 
innocence offers a laugh
 
let's fix this hash
to you...I want to holdfast
let's have a blast
out in the open

'let's make our splash
 
guilt opens up the wrath
 
a shutting-down fast
placing-blame lash
social-media delete
the final smash‒
the secret
given the shaft
 
no longer do I fly half-mast
no longer am I the secret
in stash
 
yes, the red flags
seen in perfect format
 
I'm no spoiled brat
not even
lost in over-react
 
this kitty cat
just knows where it's at
 
I'm more than just a paragraph‒
a secret in scraps
 
I'm all or nothing
an out-in-the-open en masse
willing to adapt
with another walking
the same path
Continue reading “”Secret’ No More!’”

‘Unshattering’

‘Unshatter’ Who Others Want You To Be!

A sample from Book 9

 Unshattering
 
don't look at me
–your indifference
don't say you know me
–a casual acquaintance
don't try to control me
–words are just cadence
don't think you have me
–trivial acceptance
 
all things of me–
–piece after piece
glued, sewn, stapled...rebuilt
whatever it took–
rekindled this book
 
take a good, hard look–
whatever I could
not caring...if I should
nor daring...if I would
 
it's all just burned wood
reasons understood–
renewing me
back to peace
–a whole lot of free
this place
I can just be
 
don't come at me
thinking
you'll change me
 
this unshattering of me
took time, deeds
please, please, please
of others' reprieve
–to undo
the beating of me
 
secrets aren't hidden from me
through your swirling sea
clearly I see
–it's so easy
to flee
without missing
one beat
 
go on...see
in a breeze
I'll swerve
I know what I deserve
 
no longer...this me
covered in ego's dirt
no, no...I'm in free
I'll easily flirt
test the waters
–even in the deepest of curves
avoid pride's careless surf
'cause I can, you see
 
no longer...this heart beat
buried in condition's thirst
me...you cannot convert
aware, I am
this value in worth
the whole of me–
 
a choosing little tweet
–accept me
–go on
the street...beat
 
in choice...I'm free
no longer sufferings in need‒
living carefree
in wanting desires of please
–the truth of me
who I'm meant to be
Continue reading “‘Unshattering’”

‘Choices’

The Lie: How Far Would You Go?

A sample from Book 9

 Choices
 
what's with you
you evil whore
coming in my door
trying
to rattle my feathers
don't you know
you'll only be shattered
 
it's not even a bother
not even a matter
 
my Mighty Warrior†
awaits in amusing wonder
–ready to pound
His† rage in thunder
 
no, you silly, hopeless looter
it's no immediate tit-a-tater
His† time
mover in slow swinging of chimes
comes at you
in kind
 
allowing your laughter
pitter-patter
–friends in gather
while His† children
take on your karma
in prayer
becoming the fighter
 
He† watches them
in wonder
 
why, to them, you even matter
 
He† knows
His† heart fills with joy–
He's† their father
He† watches their struggle
how in tears
they fumble
how in their faith
they don't waver
how over you
they sit...pray...think over
 
He† let's this go on
for a while
proud...each...His† true child
their sighs, their fears
their doubts
–little by little
He† releases them
–pulls them out
favors them
with His† glory
 
for each person
you tried to use
to get through–
–instead
His† children came through
for Him†
in dirt
left you to waddle
in soft words
saying...fuck you
 
as His† children's hearts settle–
He† gathers His† armor
prepares for His† battle
 
there's no riddle
to what He's† capable
–He† never deviates
from principle–
what He's† always commanded
He† still demands
 
He's† forgiving
He† forewarns
His† unconditional love
brings no harm
choices
man's very hand
 
His† prepared armor
isn't about you
you evil whore
He's† preparing to fight
your brought on strife
 
He† lowers His† head
a tear...streams down
rain, thunder rages
waiting
for the open heart
sincerity in ask
to begin His† task
watching strife consume
waiting, waiting, waiting
pounding His† heart
 
why is it so hard
placing down

truth's card
 
unconditional love
He† gives
choices we get
He† doesn't step in
'til open
true hearts begin
 
then...only then
He'll† fight–
slaughter that strife
brought on by you
you evil whore
–slam shut
your damn door
move your victim's path
into the light
where He† stays to fight
'til they win
–do their gift
coming from within 
Continue reading “‘Choices’”

The Day of the Woman

How Narcissist Play Their Game

A sample from Book 9

(Written in 2016)—It’s the day of the Woman! This quote says it all right there. I write about abuse and the five stages of grief (the process of surviving through them by-way of my personal journey) and it’s ALL public. [It is in my books.] It would make sense that I’m a child of God. A stubborn one. My mama always said so, too. My daughter swears this, too. So, I am sweet. But being a survivor that I am, I’m also a raging warrior when I need to be. That’s what makes a strong woman strong.

I’ve stated that my writing was going to squash all them narcissist abusers out there. I wasn’t kidding. They can see their ways or not. Of course, none of them will because they believe they are perfect, they refuse to see how they treat people as wrong.

Continue reading “The Day of the Woman”

‘Attrition’

Ways Codependents React to Narcissists After a Breakup

A sample from Book 9

 Attrition
 
a stable life in good–
doing what you should
holding on tight–
what's under the hood
 
seasons change
all the same
knowing they would–
gripping firmly to strength
keeping sight
in positive's look
assuring self
you've done it right–
gave the love you could
 
then all stop–
a tied-up knot
the sudden chop
from what is
to the cold, calculated not
 
words thrown
you misunderstood
 
you...searching
for answers in known
looking back–
on grounds stood
phrases said–
bouncing in head
surely something mistook–
signs overlooked
 
you know what you felt
all the right moves dealt
–the magic read in clouds
stories in books
readings in prayer books
right there...underfoot
all the best
in adulthood
words clearly understood
 
but there...lacking input
missed lessons in hymn books
–deceptions little nook
misguided direction
landing
in betrayal's neighborhood
 
all the pieces
so well together...put
a bit in the odd
the back-there look
 
a moved life
in sudden maidenhood
no written guidebook
teachings a foot–
these misguided ways
in falsehood
 
stripping moments of good–
losing self
in fancy-driven gook
scenes of hollywood
masterminds mastering weakness–
perils of womanhood–
–sly little crooks
robbing more livelihood–
what was already shook
 
tighter goes the knots
yet another sudden stop–
that letting-down drop
forcing
the non-welcomed re-surfacing
of anger's top
that place–
you thought chopped
 
lessons learned in crop–
that sudden stop
strengthens the lot
of hurt's already
worn-out blot
 
out goes buddhahood–
peaceful mind
turns to soot
promises of a finally found
true
honesty in real's manhood
lost once again
in a dreamer
stuck in boyhood
 
all this defend
breaks self down–
losing the will it took
to again's stuck in pussyfoot
–for nothing more
than mere, stagnated driftwood–
too hard for firewood
too nimble-footed
too backwoods
to be anyone's
true knighthood
 
so you just dawn an old frock
cover all the clocks
mourn what's not
–lessons thrown to floors
then mopped
live a bit in shell-shock
 
then, again fight
return good
to its original spot
–add the lost
to false-love's overflowing
melting pot
–take a minute...sob
tie tighter the knot
listen to some hip-hop
suck on some lollipops
–try to forget
once more...robbed
trying to convince self
heartbreak
not your mascot
 
but hope steps on in
forcing self
back into believe–
somewhere, out there
a heart's coming
your world to rock
without ever again
the sudden stop
from what is
to what's not
love in flop
Continue reading “‘Attrition’”