Tag: betrayal

 Mechanical's Return
  
 I could tell you to heal
 it doesn't mean–
 I'm not gonna have to deal
  
 I've been fooled by men, too–
 saying they were real
 giving me all the deep thrills
 while kicking my ass
 on the treadmill
 –that looking-good-for-them
 became a perfected skill
 –to be honest–
 that inside need of mine–
 they never fulfilled
  
 I've been lied to by family–
 that bloodline...not sealed
 it's the worse manipulative
 battlefield–
 I've ever saw revealed
 –especially when your ex–
 helps the overkill
  
 it all adds up in life–
 becomes the great ball
 of surreal
 'did that really happen'–
 you asking yourself
 trying to peel
 all those layers–
 in betrayal's ordeal
  
 you move, then move again–
 time...trying to steal
 just to keep the heavy pounding
 in your heart...still
  
 you forgive all of them–
 a bit of goodwill
 done...you wipe up–
 every tear you spill
 alone...you move about
 doing the ordinary:
 eat, dress, clean, pay bills
 waiting for the phone to squeal
 waiting for:
 'I'm sorry'
 'I was wrong'
 'what was I thinking, please forgive me'
 'mom, I'm so sorry...you were right'
  
 but it never comes–
 even when the total truth...revealed
 you realize you're dispensable–
 you've been repealed
 all their shame–
 placed on your head–
 without having to drill
 –for them...it was so easy
 your whole life gone…killed
  
 of course, I know what comes next:
 it's all your fault–
 they'll claim you had control
 of the wheel
 they'll demand you get down–
 kneel
 pray, get saved
 to God†...appeal
 they'll shake you down–
 all done in freewill
 –you were put on a platter
 served up like choiced veal
  
 yes, I could tell you to heal
 your life...rebuild
 stitch together–
 all the parts of your quilt
 then put it all behind you–
 move forward–
 on an even keel
  
 but then...I'd be lying to you–
 I'd be better off
 buying you a cocktail
 take you...get some pretty nails
 put your hair in a ponytail
 then get ready...do some blackmail
  
 but then...you'd be no better
 than that betraying cartel
 you'd become just  a plain ole infidel
 –your soul...so easy to sell
  
 to heal...you yourself
 has to...outright...deal
  
 you gotta face truth–
 you're not the jezebel
 you're better than all they dispel
 you're stronger, wiser–
 ring, ring goes the liberty bell
 but first–
 you've gotta face the swell
 all that shit that put you in hell–
 you've gotta roll in its pungent smell
 you've gotta cry, scream, yell
 –get it all out
 in movements of a snail
 you've gotta face every detail
 learn why...in came...the fail–
 their destructive zeal
 –not anything...for long
 you can conceal
  
 then you're gonna bounce–
 that's right...bounce
 all that pain–
 you're gonna unveil
 forward....
 you're gonna willingly propel
 –the chains of your forced jail
 no longer for the regale
 –no longer...you...for sale
  
 after you popped those chains–
 you'll realize you fucking derailed
 all they tried to nail
 on your pretty little fingernails
 –you done exhaled
 you put yourself in prevail
 the mechanical tall-tell
 –the tipping of the scales
  
 you're gonna learn
 –on your own–
 you've done been rebuilt
 they can't even drown you–
 in the best of ales
 they can't even go
 to the court of appeals
 or on you–
 seek the navy seals
  
 you've become the real
 in deal
 for you didn't just heal
 you've become the truth–
 of the kneel! 

Note: The photograph that accompanies this work was taken October 23rd, which revealed a lot through the spiritual world: the All-Seeing Eye (an interesting use of the gazebo to tell us that God sees all); the Dragon (The Dragon in Symbolization: The dragon, a legendary creature symbolizes protection, success, wisdom, loyalty, fearlessness, strength, balance, and immense possibility. Being the master of all four elements of Fire, Water, Earth, and Wind, it also embodies primordial power. Details of the Power Primordial Force is the primordial energy that originated everything – reality, time, space, life, death, matter, energy, and every possible and impossible concept existing and non-existing in the omniverse, from a single particular to the infinite  omniverse….God revealing His power and that He is over everything); the cross, God’s use of His energy through the orbs; faces and images of those present…spirits; and the earth’s change coming. In this particular photograph, the All-Seeing Eye; the promise made to me in the pink bubble; and Jesus’ love or presence showing through in the purple light.

(January 6, 2020)―This morning: Write from the heart today. I was empty then full…thinking about the things people will do and say when they have a mark on their heart labeled: Malicious Intent. These thoughts that I write about today started yesterday with me taking myself out for dinner and listening to hypocrites talk about segregated pre-planned housing and how they didn’t want to mix with other people’s traditions and cultures.

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