‘Death Groom’

The one thing that I did learn for sure: They hate anyone who wasn’t traumatized. In fact, they fantasize killing them or hurting them. It takes their own pain away.

Death Groom
 
it fell on their lips
‒a rehearsed transcript
among themselves
alone...in their thoughts
 
truth has its way
in profit
‒thoughts in doing it
everyone goes through it‒
doing away with toxic
beating it with a stick
in their face...spit
yelling at them
calling them dick or bitch
 
‒thoughts of the innocent
roaring out in conflict
then to God†‒
an all-in-it submit
 
it's what truth does
in contradict
that which adds to affliction‒
the afflict
reasons to be called
dick or bitch
 
I've been the victim
in the script
among evil's summit
the test in transit
‒taken almost..to it
 
places...playing out‒
taking me to the pulpit
with lies on their lips
their eyes following a skit
‒they were going to do it
 
but something stopped it
not once, not twice
but thrice
I was the object of it
I was the bait in trick
 
but He† stopped it
took me out of it
as they paid for it
sunk deeper down
into it
‒for even thinking it

Note: The Dragon and the All-Seeing Eye…October 23, 2019. I read in places where people associate the dragon with evil. God says, ‘I am.’ He is ALL things. He says, ‘I am the dragon.’ And He has sent the dragon twice. I didn’t go looking for this. David tells me when to go take the photographs. God sends what He needs us to SEE. If you see it, you are open to Him and know Him. If you can’t see, you are veiled from the truth because your heart is full of scars. If you want to be unveiled, you have to do the work of unveiling yourself! It IS that simple.

10.23.2019.09.28.19

(June 27)―Things were revealed to me about my life this afternoon. I sort of knew this, but wasn’t sure. Now I know. After the revelation, I was instructed to write about it then I’d be shown the Scripture, hence, ‘Death Groom’. After I wrote it, ‘Open the book,’ and ‘Jonah’s Prayer’!

Jonah’s PrayerFrom inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. He said: ‘In my distress I called to the Lord, and He answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help, and You listened to my cry. You hurled me into the deep, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me; all Your waves and breakers swept over me. I said, ‘I have been banished from Your sight; yet I will look again toward Your holy temple.’ The engulfing waters threatened me, the deep surrounded me; seaweed was wrapped around my head. To the roots of the mountains I sank down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But You brought my life up from the pit, O Lord my God. When my life was ebbing away, I remembered You, Lord, and my prayer rose to You, to Your holy temple. Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs. But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to You. What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the Lord.—Jonah 2:1-9

My Lord brought me through all of what He put me in, as He used me as the ultimate test for others. The ex husband, the plantation and the sweet man were the three ultimate tests. Sure, there were an amazing amount of tests for me, and I, too, had to go through this ultimate test, but not like these three did.

Continue reading “‘Death Groom’”

‘Mechanical’s Return’

The worse mark on the heart: Malicious intent: refers to the intent, without just cause or reason, to commit a wrongful act that will result in harm to another. It is the intent to harm or do some evil purpose.

 Mechanical's Return
 
I could tell you to heal
it doesn't mean–
I'm not gonna have to deal
 
I've been fooled by men, too–
saying they were real
giving me all the deep thrills
while kicking my ass
on the treadmill
–that looking-good-for-them
became a perfected skill
–to be honest–
that inside need of mine–
they never fulfilled
 
I've been lied to by family–
that bloodline...not sealed
it's the worse manipulative
battlefield–
I've ever saw revealed
–especially when your ex–
helps the overkill
 
it all adds up in life–
becomes the great ball
of surreal
'did that really happen'
you asking yourself
trying to peel
all those layers–
in betrayal's ordeal
 
you move, then move again–
time...trying to steal
just to keep the heavy pounding
in your heart...still
 
you forgive all of them–
a bit of goodwill
done...you wipe up–
every tear you spill
alone...you move about
doing the ordinary:
eat, dress, clean, pay bills
waiting for the phone to squeal
waiting for:
'I'm sorry'
'I was wrong'
'what was I thinking, please forgive me'
'mom, I'm so sorry...you were right'

 
but it never comes–
even when the total truth...revealed
you realize you're dispensable–
you've been repealed
all their shame–
placed on your head–
without having to drill
–for them...it was so easy
your whole life gone…killed
 
of course, I know what comes next:
it's all your fault–
they'll claim you had control
of the wheel
they'll demand you get down–
kneel
pray, get saved
to God†...appeal
they'll shake you down–
all done in freewill
–you were put on a platter
served up like choiced veal
 
yes, I could tell you to heal
your life...rebuild
stitch together–
all the parts of your quilt
then put it all behind you–
move forward–
on an even keel
 
but then...I'd be lying to you–
I'd be better off
buying you a cocktail
take you...get some pretty nails
put your hair in a ponytail
then get ready...do some blackmail
 
but then...you'd be no better
than that betraying cartel
you'd become just  a plain ole infidel
–your soul...so easy to sell
 
to heal...you yourself
has to...outright...deal
 
you gotta face truth–
you're not the jezebel
you're better than all they dispel
you're stronger, wiser–
ring, ring goes the liberty bell
but first–
you've gotta face the swell
all that shit that put you in hell–
you've gotta roll in its pungent smell
you've gotta cry, scream, yell
–get it all out
in movements of a snail
you've gotta face every detail
learn why...in came...the fail–
their destructive zeal
–not anything...for long
you can conceal
 
then you're gonna bounce–
that's right...bounce
all that pain–
you're gonna unveil
forward....
you're gonna willingly propel
–the chains of your forced jail
no longer for the regale
–no longer...you...for sale
 
after you popped those chains–
you'll realize you fucking derailed
all they tried to nail
on your pretty little fingernails
–you done exhaled
you put yourself in prevail
the mechanical tall-tell
–the tipping of the scales
 
you're gonna learn
–on your own–
you've done been rebuilt
they can't even drown you–
in the best of ales
they can't even go
to the court of appeals
or on you–
seek the navy seals
 
you've become the real
in deal
for you didn't just heal
you've become the truth–
of the kneel!

Note: The photograph that accompanies this work was taken October 23rd, which revealed a lot through the spiritual world: the All-Seeing Eye (an interesting use of the gazebo to tell us that God sees all); the Dragon (The Dragon in Symbolization: The dragon, a legendary creature symbolizes protection, success, wisdom, loyalty, fearlessness, strength, balance, and immense possibility. Being the master of all four elements of Fire, Water, Earth, and Wind, it also embodies primordial power. Details of the Power Primordial Force is the primordial energy that originated everything – reality, time, space, life, death, matter, energy, and every possible and impossible concept existing and non-existing in the omniverse, from a single particular to the infinite  omniverse….God revealing His power and that He is over everything); the cross, God’s use of His energy through the orbs; faces and images of those present…spirits; and the earth’s change coming. In this particular photograph, the All-Seeing Eye; the promise made to me in the pink bubble; and Jesus’ love or presence showing through in the purple light.

(January 6, 2020)―This morning: Write from the heart today. I was empty then full…thinking about the things people will do and say when they have a mark on their heart labeled: Malicious Intent. These thoughts that I write about today started yesterday with me taking myself out for dinner and listening to hypocrites talk about segregated pre-planned housing and how they didn’t want to mix with other people’s traditions and cultures.

Continue reading “‘Mechanical’s Return’”

‘Backlash’

You must learn to fight with your mind!

 Backlash
 
He's† coming
His† fierce wrath
–a warning
that will steal your laugh
 
He's† waited
as you gently
took your bath
seeing you
enjoy your treasures
He's glad
 
His† simplicity‒
riddled with an interesting sass
if you fall too far behind
on the graph
He† has an unwavering strap
administered by
a father's unconditional love‒
in a dash
giving you a chance
to bounce back
from your deep, darkened nap
 
but you haven't read
the telegraph
you haven't heard
the endless knocking raps
you haven't heard
the crash, the clash
or the blast
you haven't even heard
the slush
of His† slow drag
 
instead
you waddle like an ass
pretending to celebrate
honor His† flag
while others...with a bat
so willing to bash
 
round and round
lap after lap
slowly distorting Him†
in every class
mixing it all up–
commoners can't even grasp
leaving it all
to be given in mass
not willing
to take on the task
–it's all been a trap
 
the mark of the beast–
will be an easy lash
they will be willing–
without any wording sass
let alone
a flame from a shiny blast
 
how to measure gullibility–
the strength needed
to cure this rash
will take more
than attending a mass
or around waist
wrapping a sash
 
in the mind
will come the nag
–a played-out invisible rag
strange thoughts
making a face sag
doubt...oh! how nasty!
its constant drag
heaviness and confusion–
mixing it all up in lag
 
there's a better way to combat
this dark invisible rag
–powers hidden
once sealed–
too high to be grasped
it's now time
to bathe in its vast
opening it up–
the vaults...down...smash
 
mind for mind...slash
taking control back
before the Lamb† comes
in a flash
open up for a higher stash
–sorting through trash
with an energy in splash
 
yes, He's† coming
a warning in passing
a chance to be given
for a new class
a higher way
fighting in blast
a choice in self's brass
–thrive in eternity's musical jazz
or fall in evil's
forever fire-pitting trap
Continue reading “‘Backlash’”

‘Channel’

Don’t change your independent self because of another person.

 Channel
 
a bird flies when its free
it stagnates
in captivity
its colors blossom
in variety
fading in ambiguity
‒plucking them out
in atrocity
 
in nature...the act in free
all the same
in its facility
a trapping technicality
‒being free has its complexity
 
as a woman
in her diplomacy
giving true
to her effeminacy
when treated
with significancy
 
when she's satisfied
in her sexuality
she falls into compliancy
even in another's complacency
giving up her self-sufficiency
even her style in flossy
being, at first
blissful in buoyancy
 
as it goes...comes the decadency
becoming aware
of the deficiency
–a broken down fallacy
as she meets each exigency
 
outward...comes her adamancy
as gone goes her sexy
–an inward building pudency
her usual controlled diplomacy
loses its bearing
to rampancy
 
as goes the controlling austerity
saving-money hostility
‒slowly caving
in her impetuosity
 
attention...gone its notoriety
even her newly shaped nudity
once praised with delicacy
gone...with looks
words in vulgarity
stripping
all her sexy naughty
–leaving vagueness
in commonality
 
lack of interest
opens a familiarity
once ignoring
so much secrecy
once ignoring the mendacity
pulling forward
all its perfidy
as gone...all her sensuality
understanding
its diverted generosity
she becomes lost
in recalcitrancy
–the precious kitty lost
to lunacy
 
all for giving her free
to submissive captivity
for the awakening
of her sexuality!
Continue reading “‘Channel’”

‘Love in Action’

Actions, in spite of resentment, still say LOVE

 Love in Action
 
no matter the resentment
it was given then taken
actions of love
still...not just a must
but a do
 
it's all giving
without judgment
helping without faking
actions in love
doing
without needing a clue
 
it's helping another
without commitment
being truthful
without manipulation
actions in love
doing
for words are not enough
 
it's getting over
the resentment
‒those taking without
returning the give
actions in love
still...a beautiful mark
on the heart
in the making
Continue reading “‘Love in Action’”

‘Shouldering Damage’

You deal and accept the physical damage caused by narcissism’s carelessness

 
Shouldering Damage
 
upon her shoulders
carries the weight–
shouldering damage
from those who couldn't stay
–a go-getter
they couldn't take
she...never wanting‒
any kinda hate
‒that was never
her intended fate
‒she let love lead the way
ending in heavy price's
to pay
 
only in moments
she lived in sedate
all them medical doctors
had to medicate
she just needed room‒
a bit of space
to grasp the idea
of her body ache
never using it as an escape
‒it hurt...and she was its bait
 
she knows she gave it all
she wasn't some pity rage doll–
standing somewhere in stall
she answered a simple call
–but others led her to fall
not caring the damage at all
 
upon her shoulders‒
she wears the cape
an anti-depressant to mask
a different kinda ache
–emotional chains
she couldn't tolerate
a burning heart
left in saturate
mixed with anger
lust and hate
screaming
without intentional berate
from love
that just couldn't stay
 
then again‒
she let love be her mate
a heart damaged‒
in too many ways
–again...a turn in obliterate
a brain burned in uncultivate
all that damage‒
on her shoulders
in blissful weight
men who couldn't bear
the cape
of her physical‒
being in waste
 
she knows she gave it all
she wasn't some pity rage doll–
standing somewhere in stall
she answered a simple call
–but others led her to fall
not caring the damage at all
 
she now wears‒
a suit of armor
from love's mate
as the heavy scars from fake–
I can't stay
you...I could only tolerate
builds her face
straight to a destiny's fate–
the writer in massive create
 
she...to never deny God
in whatever she faced
so she shoulders damage
left behind–
by carelessness
and self hate
building her rose‒
from a destroyer's
intentional state
 
she knows‒
she gave it all
she wasn't some pity rage doll–
standing somewhere in stall
she answered a simple call
–others led her to fall
not caring
the damage at all
 
oh! how
she can stand tall–
she picked herself up
from the fall
using the rest of her life
in God's hall
lost to true love's
missed call
she knows‒
she gave it her all
–it was not her
that caused
the fall!
Continue reading “‘Shouldering Damage’”

‘Anger’s Infest’

Anger wants you steadfast! God wants you moving forward!

 Anger's Infest
 
feel it beneath your skin
evil's way of getting within
actions in horror's den
‒ways of evil's perfect sin
 
it'll trap you in cussing
it'll condemn you in swearing
pulling at you...probing
wanting your reaction
for it's only satisfaction
 
it'll take all
of your triggering notions
you...down...dragging
as it smiles
in sadistic laughing
craving your giving in
your fight...it's welcoming
celebrating
your mind's condemn
 
anger...evil's infested gem
words, actions
its consistency in playing
wanting you
self to defend
so it can celebrate
in its win
 
feel it beneath your skin
evil's way of getting within
actions in horror's den
‒ways of evil's perfect sin
Continue reading “‘Anger’s Infest’”

‘Humble of Mercy’

You Want It to Be! So Bad….

A sample from Book 12

(September 26, 2018)—

Praise for Joy and Security of the RighteousKeep me safe, O God, for in You I take refuge. I said to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing.’ As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom in all my delight. The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips. Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup; You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let Your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.―Psalm 16

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‘Unconditional Terms’

‘Unconditional’ Fades When Another Takes Your Place!

A sample from Book 12

(July 25, 2018 [Didn’t post on Facebook.])—When toxicity takes its toll, there’s nothing to say or do.

A weak heart turns to go, finds a new heart to rip apart. A strong heart cries alone, struggling to regain ground, move on. You don’t lose to cheating. You lose to betrayal. That’s why those who don’t marry, stay single. They can just hang it up, move on to another. The faithful one can’t do this.

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‘Knife’

Surviving the Knife of Those Who Betray You!

A sample from Book 12

(April 21, 2018)—That knife becomes weaker when we gain the support of others, when we start to see the true meaning behind our life. That knife doesn’t come out that easy especially when you see everyone’s true disclosure.

There’s so much to say, then there’s nothing to say. I have this much on my mind: If they don’t want to see you, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, they won’t see you.

Continue reading “‘Knife’”