the counsel of hypocrites
will never be it
they will smother
the best of it
to no wrongs‒
do they admit
they'll speak of Jesus†
say God† is guiding it
while bedding that and this
taking no credit
‒for the wrong of it
they'll say all is good‒
they'll say God† saved it
when they were...actually‒
the poison of it
they'll say all that material bliss
God† gave it
they'll demand it!
‒they'll say you're a witch
a down-right bitch‒
when you don't give in
to their shit
it all adds up‒
to the job of it
those not truly in it
don't know the half of it
to the God† of it
‒for He† does the blinding
to the God† of it
‒for He† blocks out
why does He† do it
‒they aren't His† kids
His† hands of it
He's† not present‒
in the death of it
‒not even the Spirit†
sees any of it
He's† all about His† kids
those who know‒
the truth of it
they suffered for it
‒by the hands
of the mockers of it
He's† not in the materialistic
that's satan's dish
‒have fun with it
it's the prelude
to the pit
(February 10, 2020)—A few things have been bothering me lately. The healing of a narcissist is one of them, and the terror in which a narcissist puts on their victims. Their cunningness. Their manipulative ways. Their stealing, lying, cheating. All of it has me really thinking how can they be healed when they refuse to even admit they are not healed, and because of this line of thought, God shows me a lot in the Bible that relate to this. This morning it was through Job. I love Job! I wrote the process of God through the experience as it happened and in steps, that’s the books. Job wrote about it as an all-at-once experience and sometimes this does happen, but a lot of time it’s a losing of things over a period of time.
In the following passages, Job is answering one of his friends. Now remember that the Book of Job stands as one and stands in parts at the same time. Meaning what Job says throughout is one hundred present accurate, and his friends are wrong. In parts, what God says through his friends, speaks to us when we need them to.
Speeches No Relief—Then Job replied: ‘I have heard many things like these; miserable comforters are you all! Will your long-winded speeches never end? What ails you that you keep on arguing? I also could speak like you, if you were in my place; I could make fine speeches against you and shake my head at you. But my mouth would encourage you; comfort from my lips would bring you relief. Yet if I speak, my pain is not relieved; and I refrain, it does not go away.—Job 16:1-6 (Job is speaking and he is right.)
Note: …miserable comforters are you all!…Job has it right. Have you ever been counseled by someone who was sinning? Who didn’t know God or Jesus? I can’t even tell you how many times people like this have tried to counsel me. I often stood there in my silent disgust, praying for God to take me because I could barely stand what they were saying because I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, how they lived their life.
I could make fine speeches against you and shake my head at you. But my mouth would encourage you; comfort from my lips would bring you relief…In 2016, I wrote: He is saying that if he argued against them, they would fire back and continue the argument. If he agreed with them, then would also continue. Today, it is still true. Has this ever happened to you? It didn’t matter what you said, you were still wrong. I know I have. After a while, I just started listening to their words, and that’s when I started hearing God speaking through them. They didn’t even understand what they were saying. When you start seeing, or rather hearing…understanding this, then it gets a bit comical because now you are in a conversation with the Lord and the person speaking becomes sort of a vacuum in between your world and God’s world.
Yet if I speak, my pain is not relieved; and I refrain, it does not go away…It’s like ‘damn if I do, and damn if I don’t.‘ The exact feeling when you live with a narcissist. This is when you are in the mix of Satan’s grasp.
How God Has Devastated—Sure, O God, You have worn me out; You have devastated my entire household. You have bound me—and it has become a witness; my gauntness rises up and testifies against me. God assails me and tears me in His anger and gnashes His teeth at me; my opponent fastens on me His piercing eyes. Men open their mouths to jeer at me; they strike my cheek in scorn and unite together against me. God has turned me over to evil men and thrown me into the clutches of the wicked. All was well with me, but He shattered me; He seized me by the neck and crushed me. He has made me His target; His archers surround me. Without pity, He pierces my kidneys and spills my gall on the ground. Again and again He bursts upon me; He rushes at me like a warrior.—Job 16:7-14 (Job is speaking and he is right.)
Note: In 2016, I wrote: Job is first saying that he was okay then God chose him to see. God shows him the evil of man and it sickens him! Today, I see more. What God does to Job in one day, which is a lot, He does to us, individually, over a period of time. I lost everything as well: my home (that I helped build), my dog, my things, my children, my family, my reputation, my career. He gives it and He can take it away. In my case, He wants me to write about everything involving the five stages of grief. In order to do that, He made me experience every emotion. It was like a roller-coaster ride. One minute I was fine, then the next I was crying…and during that sad part of whatever emotion I was experiencing, I had to write about it. He didn’t just make me feel sad. It was all the emotions, even if they weren’t mine!
When God has His hand on you, you will know it. He doesn’t let up. AT ALL! His purpose is ALWAYS to the better of the earth, not just a few people. I know this is hard to understand, but it is truth. We are the vine and we are to help each other grow. If we don’t, the vine dies. We each have to do our part. Just go out into a garden or make one of your own and plant the seed of a vine and leave it. It will either do two things if you don’t nourish it properly: Grow out of control and wild or die all together.
Another example would all these man-made churches: Go read some of these political post. That’s a primary example of bad shepherding. All that hate by people saying there are Christians. They aren’t following Jesus’ way at all! Or all those people who post about Jesus and God on social media yet they are basking in wealth and saying God is always there and giving them all this wealth. When I was marketing online, I saw so much of these men and women flirting and lying to sell stuff. No. That’s not walking the Jesus way. Sorry. That’s of the world. I know you don’t want to hear the truth. And no one is holy-roly who’s speaking it. The truth doesn’t change. Being truthful is not religious. Being religious is man-made!
Men open their mouths to jeer at me; they strike my cheek in scorn and unite together against me….Back in 2007, I wrote: Job was ridiculed. Today, I know the full truth of this. This is the major part of the test, the test that examines our heart. Everyone turns on you. And when you strike back, it keeps coming until you see what God is doing: Testing your heart.
When God wants something from you, and He wants something from all of us, but He does have His servants and He hands them over to Satan many times to test their hearts. What Job is describing here, I have felt as well, especially after He spoke to me clearly in a vision, His hands set on me hard and brought me down to tears and anguish. He tried to get me to turn against Him. Oh, He tried hard! Nope. I did rebuke His tries. I love Him. No matter what He did or does…that won’t change.
Maintaining Innocence—‘I have sewed sackcloth over my skin and buried my brow in the dust. My face is red with weeping, deep shadows ring my eyes; yet my hands have been free of violence and my prayer is pure.’—Job 16:15-17 (Job is speaking and he is right.)
Note: In 2007, I wrote: He is tormented for his faith. In 2016, I wrote: no, he is tormented because of all that God is showing him. Today, I know full well what this feels like. Crying and crying, wailing sorrow that others have caused. Feeling down-right punished for something I didn’t do. Feeling insane because of other’s behaviors. Knowing the truth and no one believes me. I write what God wants. And now, He wants me to say I’m His prophet and He’s sent all these pictures on here to teach you who He is. That is my only crime according to the society of hypocrites who used to know me. Other than that, I bargained with people during my darkness (I had free sex), then I resurrected from that and followed God’s orders. I didn’t lie to anyone. Every thing I did, I wrote down, I published. I told the truth of my life as it was happening. I didn’t tell anyone that my truth was their truth. I didn’t tell anyone that what I saw in my life was what they saw in theirs. They chose to misinterpret my truth and then call me a liar.
I didn’t manipulate anyone. I didn’t steal from anyone and hurt their path. I didn’t hurt anyone physically. I protected myself and struck back when I felt threatened. I only told the truth about my experience. I invited God in to use me as He saw fit. Others took it upon themselves to assassinate me. That’s on them. God knows that what I wrote in my books is my truth: The truth of a woman surviving the five stages of grief. All those who came into my path, it’s on them when it comes to their behavior. They were living their ‘unintended‘ or ‘intended‘ truth, being a lie or not, and their actions affected my truth and/or my life, so their actions were written about because they involved me. A person can’t hate because of that. They knew what I did. They chose to behave in the way that they did on their own.
That part, the part I just wrote, is one of the most amazing parts of reality God has ever shown me. And He has shown me miracles, He has shown me proof, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the spiritual world exist! For a person to come into my life knowing I write about my journey and behave evil, to me, is setting themselves up for celebrity status? They did it on purpose so that I would write about them? They are really that stupid and have no common sense to know what they were doing? They are that mentally disturbed to not realize I was going to write about their behavior? Beats the hell of me, but the fact still remains, they still drew attention to themselves by coming into my life and treating me bad!
Or was it that GOD, Himself, brought them into my life to personally call them OUT! This is what I’ve come to see as pure truth! The sweet man…was ALL God! And he’s so blind that he can’t see it! That is one of the most amazing parts of this whole journey. And truthfully…from the bottom of my heart…I think whatever God has in store for him will amaze all of us! Especially him!
Surely There is Advocate—‘O earth, do not cover my blood; may my cry never be laid to rest! Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high. My intercessor is my friends as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend.’—Job 16:18-21 (Job is speaking and he is right.)
Note: In 2007, I wrote: he prays for the people. His whole family is dead. All that he had is gone. He’s mourning his lost. God tested Job’s heart by taking everything from him. God wanted Job to speak about Him. Job at first didn’t listen. He’s getting to a place where he is seeing that it is useless to deny God and that he will never be silent about God again! I know this place well! Society makes us feel ashamed about talking so much about God and Jesus, especially Jesus. They call us holy-roly and liars all the time! The fact is God WANTS us to praise Him always. This is what He likes most of all. Those of you denying this simple deal are just fools, and your eternal experience, that which comes after this life, will be not so great!
Intercessor: a person who intervenes on behalf of another, especially by prayer.
The vine. Our friends and family are to come and help us when we are in trouble. That is what God is waiting for. When that doesn’t happen, He does intervene byway of Jesus. Those who denied your healing will have a tough road, even if they don’t realize it, while your road gets better. Those who hurt us don’t even think about God’s wrath because all those bad shepherds out there teach falsely. God has a wrath! And when He sends in the punisher, Satan, He leaves your butt! You need to understand this.
Friends Mock Curiosity—‘Only a few years will pass before I go on the journey of no return. My spirit is broken, my days are cut short, the grave awaits me. Surely mockers surround me; my eyes must dwell on their hostility. Give me, O God, the pledge You demand. Who else will put up security for me? You have closed their minds to understanding; therefore you will not let them triumph. If a man denounces his friends for reward, the eyes of his children will fail. God has made me a byword to everyone, a man in whose face people spit. My eyes have grown dim with grief; my whole frame is but a shadow. Upright men are appalled at this; the innocent are aroused against the ungodly. Nevertheless, the righteous will hold to their ways and those with clean hands will grow stronger.‘—Job 16:22-17:9 (Job is speaking and he is right.)
Note: In fact, Job lives over a one hundered years AFTER this happens! But during, he doesn’t know this. He doesn’t feel this. He feels as if it is all over. This is how we all feel during the darkness! We can’t see what’s after. And that IS the point. God wants us to trust in Him. This is the biggest test: To not HATE Him. So, to push the bar, God brings all against us, or it seems like all is against us. He says…my eyes must dwell on their hostility…God is making us pay attention to everything bad that is happening. He wants us to dwell on it. He wants us to make our own decision about it. That’s why all those negative thoughts turn over and over in our minds. He wants us to understand that it is He that is doing it…to see if we will flip on Him.
God knows your heart. When you don’t flip on Him, He sends in Jesus. He has your back. It’s not a all-at-once type of thing. Be patient. Those who are bad to you are blinded as in today’s work, ‘Mocker’s Beat’. That is done for a reason. It’s their test. Those of us He has called, He sends us bits and pieces, just enough to let us know that we are on the right path and that we are doing His will. This is what Job is saying…O God, the pledge You demand.
Who else will put up security for me?…Who will pay my ransom? I ask this all the time. He tells me they are coming. I tell Him no one is coming, but who am I to question God. He knows all. If He says they are coming, then they are coming. It could be 20 years from now, they are STILL coming! I just have to deal with the time in between! You can never forget that God is in control!
If a man denounces his friends for reward, the eyes of his children will fail…This is exactly what happened to me. And there is nothing you can do. A lot of mothers get this because of a narcissist ex! Husband/boyfriend…it does not matter. The unhealed soul is so manipulative and loves the dark so much that they hide their truth that well! God’s child becomes loud because God calls them to become loud! God’s children aren’t afraid to speak about their life. Those under Satan’s hand are! Trust that! They are cunning and will turn everyone against you. That’s their way! They are losing their tests and so are all those who are believing their lies! Stay true. Don’t falter no matter what is said about you because…and those with clean hands will grow stronger.‘
Limitations of Sympathy—‘But come on, all of you, try again! I will not find a wise man among you. My days have passed, my plans are shattered and so are the desires of my heart. These men turn night into day; in the face of darkness they say, ‘Light is near.’ If the only home I hope for is the grave, if I spread out my bed in darkness, if I say to corruption,’ You are my father,’ and to the worm, ‘My mother’ or ‘My sister,’ where then is my hope? Who can see only hope for me? Will it go down to the gates of death? Will we descend together into the dust?’—Job 17:10-16 (Job is speaking and he is right.)
Note: Job gets a bit sassy here for good reason. God has changed him. He sees the foolish man now. God has done this to me: I no longer desire for fame or money or things. He’s made me see that those things do not matter. Truth matters and God is TRUTH!
Back in 2016, I wrote: He says that his pain could end if he gave into corruption, but what does that change? If he gives into corruption, he’ll be just like them. And I still agree. People can give you advice all they want. I hear and read it all the time on social media: God is going to give you all that you desire. Really? Have you done what God ask of you? If not, He’s giving you nothing! This is what bad shepherding does…confusing the hell out of people!
I listened to people in the past and they gave me some good advice, but the kicker, years later I learned that they were sinning and weren’t living this righteous life that they led me to think they were leading! But God didn’t want me to see that. He needed me to hear what He was sending through them. Now, after I’ve done what He wanted me to do, see what He wanted me to see, He’s bringing to light what He didn’t want me to see. Does that make sense? It’s not rocket science!
God doesn’t just give us shit because we want it! All those churches telling you this, they are lying to you. God is a loving God. Jesus is always in love. But have you forgotten about the judge? Apparently so! All those man-made churches preach so eloquently that they forget about the judge. Sure, you get grace from heaven, but that grace can also be taken away. I lost, I can’t say how many social media connections, because I said that one statement…all because some Youtube self-proclaimed preacher told everyone, and is making millions and millions of dollars telling everyone, that they automatically receive grace. No, they don’t! You have to earn grace. And if you fail or turn back, that grace is taken away!
All these man-made churches just set you up for failure. They build you up and then when reality of God sets in, you hate God or Jesus! OR, even worse, you throw your money at the churches, because they said that GIVING is how you get grace! And they are so manipulative at that giving deal that you send all your money to them! Hence the why behind so many of them having millions and millions in the bank and they wearing designer clothes and live in places like Manhattan and drive fancy cars and have more than one home! Of THE WORLD!
From the simplest of person to the biggest of corporations or non-profit corporations, lies are a dime a dozen. Job’s story is a symbol of how God works. He does not change. Jesus made it getting to Him easier, but Jesus didn’t change who God is. Sorry, you were lied to if you believe that He did. Jesus is God’s Son! Jesus is Lord. God is KING! Do you understand that? If not, then you were misled!