‘Death Groom’

The one thing that I did learn for sure: They hate anyone who wasn’t traumatized. In fact, they fantasize killing them or hurting them. It takes their own pain away.

Death Groom
 
it fell on their lips
‒a rehearsed transcript
among themselves
alone...in their thoughts
 
truth has its way
in profit
‒thoughts in doing it
everyone goes through it‒
doing away with toxic
beating it with a stick
in their face...spit
yelling at them
calling them dick or bitch
 
‒thoughts of the innocent
roaring out in conflict
then to God†‒
an all-in-it submit
 
it's what truth does
in contradict
that which adds to affliction‒
the afflict
reasons to be called
dick or bitch
 
I've been the victim
in the script
among evil's summit
the test in transit
‒taken almost..to it
 
places...playing out‒
taking me to the pulpit
with lies on their lips
their eyes following a skit
‒they were going to do it
 
but something stopped it
not once, not twice
but thrice
I was the object of it
I was the bait in trick
 
but He† stopped it
took me out of it
as they paid for it
sunk deeper down
into it
‒for even thinking it

Note: The Dragon and the All-Seeing Eye…October 23, 2019. I read in places where people associate the dragon with evil. God says, ‘I am.’ He is ALL things. He says, ‘I am the dragon.’ And He has sent the dragon twice. I didn’t go looking for this. David tells me when to go take the photographs. God sends what He needs us to SEE. If you see it, you are open to Him and know Him. If you can’t see, you are veiled from the truth because your heart is full of scars. If you want to be unveiled, you have to do the work of unveiling yourself! It IS that simple.

10.23.2019.09.28.19

(June 27)―Things were revealed to me about my life this afternoon. I sort of knew this, but wasn’t sure. Now I know. After the revelation, I was instructed to write about it then I’d be shown the Scripture, hence, ‘Death Groom’. After I wrote it, ‘Open the book,’ and ‘Jonah’s Prayer’!

Jonah’s PrayerFrom inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. He said: ‘In my distress I called to the Lord, and He answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help, and You listened to my cry. You hurled me into the deep, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me; all Your waves and breakers swept over me. I said, ‘I have been banished from Your sight; yet I will look again toward Your holy temple.’ The engulfing waters threatened me, the deep surrounded me; seaweed was wrapped around my head. To the roots of the mountains I sank down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But You brought my life up from the pit, O Lord my God. When my life was ebbing away, I remembered You, Lord, and my prayer rose to You, to Your holy temple. Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs. But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to You. What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the Lord.—Jonah 2:1-9

My Lord brought me through all of what He put me in, as He used me as the ultimate test for others. The ex husband, the plantation and the sweet man were the three ultimate tests. Sure, there were an amazing amount of tests for me, and I, too, had to go through this ultimate test, but not like these three did.

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‘Mocker’s Beat’

From the simplest of person to the biggest of corporations or non-profit corporations, lies are a dime a dozen. Job’s story is a symbol of how God works. He does not change.

 Mocker's Beat
 
the counsel of hypocrites
will never be it
they will smother
the best of it
 
to no wrongs‒
do they admit
they'll speak of Jesus†
say God† is guiding it
while bedding that and this
while lying...
taking no credit
‒for the wrong of it
 
they'll say all is good‒
enjoy it
they'll say God† saved it
when they were...actually‒
the poison of it
 
they'll say all that material bliss
God† gave it
they'll demand it!
‒they'll say you're a witch
a down-right bitch‒
when you don't give in
to their shit
 
it all adds up‒
to the job of it
those not truly in it
don't know the half of it
 
they're blinded‒
to the God† of it
‒for He† does the blinding
they're deaf‒
to the God† of it
‒for He† blocks out
their hearing
 
why does He† do it
‒they aren't His† kids
He† washes
His† hands of it
He's† not present‒
in the death of it
‒not even the Spirit†
sees any of it
 
He's† all about His† kids
those who know‒
the truth of it
they suffered for it
‒by the hands
of the mockers of it
 
He's† not in the materialistic
that's satan's dish
‒have fun with it
it's the prelude
to the pit

(February 10, 2020)—A few things have been bothering me lately. The healing of a narcissist is one of them, and the terror in which a narcissist puts on their victims. Their cunningness. Their manipulative ways. Their stealing, lying, cheating. All of it has me really thinking how can they be healed when they refuse to even admit they are not healed, and because of this line of thought, God shows me a lot in the Bible that relate to this. This morning it was through Job. I love Job! I wrote the process of God through the experience as it happened and in steps, that’s the books. Job wrote about it as an all-at-once experience and sometimes this does happen, but a lot of time it’s a losing of things over a period of time.

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‘Mechanical’s Return’

The worse mark on the heart: Malicious intent: refers to the intent, without just cause or reason, to commit a wrongful act that will result in harm to another. It is the intent to harm or do some evil purpose.

 Mechanical's Return
 
I could tell you to heal
it doesn't mean–
I'm not gonna have to deal
 
I've been fooled by men, too–
saying they were real
giving me all the deep thrills
while kicking my ass
on the treadmill
–that looking-good-for-them
became a perfected skill
–to be honest–
that inside need of mine–
they never fulfilled
 
I've been lied to by family–
that bloodline...not sealed
it's the worse manipulative
battlefield–
I've ever saw revealed
–especially when your ex–
helps the overkill
 
it all adds up in life–
becomes the great ball
of surreal
'did that really happen'
you asking yourself
trying to peel
all those layers–
in betrayal's ordeal
 
you move, then move again–
time...trying to steal
just to keep the heavy pounding
in your heart...still
 
you forgive all of them–
a bit of goodwill
done...you wipe up–
every tear you spill
alone...you move about
doing the ordinary:
eat, dress, clean, pay bills
waiting for the phone to squeal
waiting for:
'I'm sorry'
'I was wrong'
'what was I thinking, please forgive me'
'mom, I'm so sorry...you were right'

 
but it never comes–
even when the total truth...revealed
you realize you're dispensable–
you've been repealed
all their shame–
placed on your head–
without having to drill
–for them...it was so easy
your whole life gone…killed
 
of course, I know what comes next:
it's all your fault–
they'll claim you had control
of the wheel
they'll demand you get down–
kneel
pray, get saved
to God†...appeal
they'll shake you down–
all done in freewill
–you were put on a platter
served up like choiced veal
 
yes, I could tell you to heal
your life...rebuild
stitch together–
all the parts of your quilt
then put it all behind you–
move forward–
on an even keel
 
but then...I'd be lying to you–
I'd be better off
buying you a cocktail
take you...get some pretty nails
put your hair in a ponytail
then get ready...do some blackmail
 
but then...you'd be no better
than that betraying cartel
you'd become just  a plain ole infidel
–your soul...so easy to sell
 
to heal...you yourself
has to...outright...deal
 
you gotta face truth–
you're not the jezebel
you're better than all they dispel
you're stronger, wiser–
ring, ring goes the liberty bell
but first–
you've gotta face the swell
all that shit that put you in hell–
you've gotta roll in its pungent smell
you've gotta cry, scream, yell
–get it all out
in movements of a snail
you've gotta face every detail
learn why...in came...the fail–
their destructive zeal
–not anything...for long
you can conceal
 
then you're gonna bounce–
that's right...bounce
all that pain–
you're gonna unveil
forward....
you're gonna willingly propel
–the chains of your forced jail
no longer for the regale
–no longer...you...for sale
 
after you popped those chains–
you'll realize you fucking derailed
all they tried to nail
on your pretty little fingernails
–you done exhaled
you put yourself in prevail
the mechanical tall-tell
–the tipping of the scales
 
you're gonna learn
–on your own–
you've done been rebuilt
they can't even drown you–
in the best of ales
they can't even go
to the court of appeals
or on you–
seek the navy seals
 
you've become the real
in deal
for you didn't just heal
you've become the truth–
of the kneel!

Note: The photograph that accompanies this work was taken October 23rd, which revealed a lot through the spiritual world: the All-Seeing Eye (an interesting use of the gazebo to tell us that God sees all); the Dragon (The Dragon in Symbolization: The dragon, a legendary creature symbolizes protection, success, wisdom, loyalty, fearlessness, strength, balance, and immense possibility. Being the master of all four elements of Fire, Water, Earth, and Wind, it also embodies primordial power. Details of the Power Primordial Force is the primordial energy that originated everything – reality, time, space, life, death, matter, energy, and every possible and impossible concept existing and non-existing in the omniverse, from a single particular to the infinite  omniverse….God revealing His power and that He is over everything); the cross, God’s use of His energy through the orbs; faces and images of those present…spirits; and the earth’s change coming. In this particular photograph, the All-Seeing Eye; the promise made to me in the pink bubble; and Jesus’ love or presence showing through in the purple light.

(January 6, 2020)―This morning: Write from the heart today. I was empty then full…thinking about the things people will do and say when they have a mark on their heart labeled: Malicious Intent. These thoughts that I write about today started yesterday with me taking myself out for dinner and listening to hypocrites talk about segregated pre-planned housing and how they didn’t want to mix with other people’s traditions and cultures.

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‘Death March’

Deal! Lies kill. Lies destroy. Manipulation and living a fake life…God sees ALL!

 Death March
 
God† brings in tests
evil, the prince of sin
freely plays
for the win
–it's all testing
each person involved
in each test
 
who's going to lie
who's going to hide
who's going to fall
to ego and pride
who's going to confess
ease their soul
to rest
 
who's truly the enemy
in disguise
in captivity
–on their backs
a haunting spirit
lost in unrest
 
who's going to pass blame
who's the target
of their aim
who'll seal it
with a kiss
of a snake's hiss
 
God† uses each
for each's test
–those fallen
to the hiss
covering up their sin
for secrets
shh, hush, hush
are best
protecting their darkness
as they steal innocence
–do whatever it takes–
blacken a stolen light
 
God† sends in
the hardest tests
–the devil's unquenchable taste
its darkened thirst of lust–
to those His† heart knows
will win
–taking its time
in condemn–
rebuilding
for His† brethren
as the eating away
takes its place
of the one
who brought in sin
or rather–
those covering up–
the true ones in sin
the ones forbidding
the healing
protecting their own skin
–they are the ones
to the pit...condemned
failing God's† tests
for their own
fake rest
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‘Brought to Light’

You can’t hide from God. Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. And your chances…it’s getting to the ‘too late’ point.

 Brought to Light
 
I sit
bow my head
after much pleading‒
to a page He† led
showing
to me
what was said
lies
leading to dead
 
I bow my head
a bit tattered
that
in face of my argument‒
God† still sees
I matter
 
He† gently shows the way
revealing the fake
showing what's at stake
‒it's never too late
rewriting the page
 
yes, I sit
bow my head
always His† child‒
all the words
to me
He† fed

I plowing on‒
without water to tread
for I'm alive
in the light
not in the dark...dead
nor empty
or misled
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