‘Surrounding Time’ (Yeshuah)

‘Surrounding Time’ (Yeshuah)…’…But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes the life of one of them, that man will be taken away because of his sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for his blood….’―Ezekiel 33:1-9

Surrounding Time (Yeshuah)

a bit unusual
isn't it
to see sunny days
all that's vast
in an amazing land
to buy things
to celebrate things
in a parallel of time
of a coming darkness

it is I†
the one who instructs
the Son† of He† who disciplines
explaining the discipline
to an unrelenting collection
too busy to pay attention
to what is falling away
right before your eyes

'o massiveness of hurt
sorrow's unforgiving eye
coming to an unexpecting lot

reach deep inside
as instruction is still being given
seek retribution
give to the needy
feed the hungry
shelter the homeless
love the fatherless

pay tribute to the suffering
those without luxury
of simple things
of simple needs

the fourth is upon you
still concern is not
still fear of the Lord†
is not reckoned

bring forth the concern
'o wayward souls
of plenty

what happens when death
what happens when the images
sent to the prophet
reveal themselves in life
what happens when the mourning
when the moon and stars
lose their glisten
when the sun no longer shines
when songs are not heard
and voices disappear

will you still buy things
will you still celebrate

will you then see light
for the very first time
the true light
of the bread of heaven

will sorrow need to be
for you to awaken

it is I†, the Son†, Jesus†
the Christ†

the bread to feed on
the wine to drink from
the everlasting
the key that needs turning
the breath of all breaths

awaken 'o sleepy ones
awaken to the one true light
the kingdom of all kingdoms

awaken to the moment
the moment before all times

seek comfort
in the truth of Me†
that I† have come
for your journey to prevail

seek shelter in Me†
so I† may give you life

the Father† seeks your awakening
He† seeks your salvation
you must do your part
you must seek His† love
His† comfort

draw near
the times time nine
is upon you
a time written
a time discussed
don't waiver in faith
the unseen is all around
every tiny bit of space
guiding your being
to the light

take what's in the heart
trust in it
for it is speaking volumes

draw near to the water of life
the comfort in hope
awaken to mercy
give it freely
as it is freely given

something is given
then something is given
in return

it is
as I† am
as you are

a left in moment
as the collect remains
in numb
in silence
in absolute of uncertainty
for they choose
the idols of the world

take comfort
I† am here
as the Father† is here

Notes: The photograph David chose is from October 7, 2019: Faces.

(May 30, 2022)—I was led to page 1133 and 1134 in my Bible after ‘Surrounding Time’ was given. Ezekiel. He’s led me to Ezekiel 33:1-9 every time I question what I am doing. Message is clear for me.

Note: I heard the word retribution clear, so I guess it is for you to figure out.

Continue reading “‘Surrounding Time’ (Yeshuah)”

‘Roaming Notion’ (Yeshuah)

‘Roaming Notion’ (Yeshuah)…The most holy place of the temple is the heart. This is where everything with sincerity is taught from.

Roaming Notion (Yeshuah)

power is a craving
one sought after
with a vengeance

how can you know
who is seeking
unless death
is at hand

'o wavering sect
which power 
to affirm

the Father's† or man's

what is in power
that drives man
to want to overpower

I†  couldn't overpower Him†
even if I† tried
His† plans are beyond man's
His† powers are beyond eyes
beyond the mind

I† am
therefore you are

the natural balance
of things
are not as you perceive
it is of the universe
a far holier ground
than you can ever imagine

it is pure and absolute
an unprecedented fathom
beyond human condition
beyond human understanding

what you see
is what is meant
for you to see

a vastness so grand
to not even
every grain of sand

you are small
a spec
in the eyes
of God†

'o wayward one
you try so hard
to decipher Him†
how can you be so dull
it is a waste of time

I† knew this
as man
I† knew
not to overcome it

His† rage is like a thief
quick and phantom like
there and not there
so quick
that it is easy
to blame man
for His† vengeance

His† love is the same way
although it is
mistaken for hate

it is not

it is revealing
and true

what you perceive
is not always
what it seems

you have to look
with good eyes
to look beyond
what man sees
and see
what God† sees

His† eyes are true
just and fair

He† sees
and sends what's needed
for the redeem

open wide
your eyes
beyond the hear
His† world
is beyond yours

it is I†
the one who came
to save
before I† take

and I† have that right
to take
to do what I† please
according to marks
left in place
the ones you ignored
for pity and self-righteousness
for arrogance and pride
for stubbornness
greed and hate

all of these dark circles
have to be purged
from your heart
time is of the essence

how can I† save
if you don't hear or see
how can the Son†
honor a Father's† wish
without the sincere
of the soul

I† am
therefore you are

are you willing?

if you are willing
I† am willing

if you are not willing
to the fiery furnace
remains your place
so enjoy luxury and comfort
while in the body
while on earth

it is all the prize
you will get

you have time
but how much time
to redeem, to repent
see God†
as God† is
and not how you want
to see God†

His† graces comes
at your redemption
at your repentance

sell all your riches
feed the hungry
clothe the poor
help the sick, the lame
comfort the imprisoned
for their repentance
comes through you

it is I†
the way and the light
the Son† of He†
the creator

I† am in Him†
as you are in Me†

there's still time
but this time is that time
and all the time
in between

more words come
a chance in redemption
is given
don't waste the chance
for it won't be given
much longer

the words are comfort
use them to comfort
and heal
bypass lies
and seek truth

I† am truth
it is I†

Notes: The photograph David chose is from October 23, 2019: The Dragon and the All-Seeing Eye. In this particular set of photographs, you have to understand that I had no intention on traveling so far to go for my walk. This park is in North Las Vegas. It was like I had to go there. Also the sprinklers. David had told me to run. I was clean across the park when he told me this and this is the first time I ever saw these sprinklers on. As soon as the photo session was over, they went off! If you count the crosses, where the streams of water cross each other, there are exactly seven. You can go and read the page. I was given a message about the seven churches mentioned in the Revelations. These churches are assumed to be in Asia, but David asked me what does Asia mean. It means ‘under the sun‘. The seven churches under the sun. He said that the seven churches are beginning. They hadn’t existed before. They are beginning. These are not buildings or official organizations. This was the reason why I was led to this park on this day.

Special Note: I thought I’d point out that after my week of prayer, which I was instructed to go in to, a writing has come every day. I don’t know what this means, but something seems to be coming. Like these writings are extremely important. I’m just telling you how I feel. After all, this is happening to my person for you.

(April 28, 2022)—I received ‘Roaming Notion’ early and then the last paragraph of Ezekiel 42:1-14 was pointed out to me and explained. It was important that I put this up early. There’s a nervousness that I feel, an anxiousness, a nauseousness…it is what you make of it, but it seems extremely important for you to have this as soon as possible.

‘…Then he said to me, ‘The north and south rooms facing the temple courtyard are the priests’ rooms, where the priests who approach the Lord will eat the most holy offerings. There they will put the most holy offerings—the grain offerings, the sin offerings and the guilt offerings—for the place is holy. Once the priests enter the holy precincts, they are not to go into the outer court until they leave behind the garments in which they minister, for these are holy. They are to put on other clothes before they go near the places that are for the people.—Ezekiel 42:1-14

The most holy place of the temple is the heart. This is where everything with sincerity is taught from. This is where we offer or deal with our guilt, our shame, our sins, our honesty—all things. This is where we replace all our pride, ego, hate, anger, etc., etc. with love. This is the most holy of places and the only place where through love we abandon evil. Here is where our most sacred love lives. We are not to abuse this love, or scorn it. It is the place where God lives. To abuse this place is to abuse God. It is most sacred, most holy. It is the essence of life.

You can read all of the visions, dreams and words, as well as see all the images and see the time frame in which they were given by clicking on Message Index.

‘Open Sanctuary’ (Jesus)

‘Open Sanctuary’ (Jesus)…’I† keep reminding you of this, that I† have much more to say, it is important that you, know this…words of Jesus the Christ

Open Sanctuary (Jesus)

time is marching
it's going forward
not backward
it's creeping
but still moving

I† have much more to say

['who is it?' I asked
'I' He† replies]

I† keep reminding you of this
that I† have much more to say
it is important that you
know this

I† am real
I† did come
My† body did die
but I'm† still alive

those who wanted control‒
'they' this is the 'they'
they betrayed Me† again and again
the Father† will revenge Me†
when it is time

slowly that time is time

the mark on the romans
will forever be

you don't know about those
in the middle countries
do you
those remnants of babylonia
peria, serbia, syria
all those arguing and fighting
they call it religious wars
it's more entitlement wars
‒a left-over mess
from the great empires

empires which were destroyed
by the Father†

the greeks, the alexandrians

all are left overs
in the middle countries

they were changed
as coming a change

the british
once a great empire
now hardly a country at all
in diplomacy
but in fact disguised
they have spread their remnant
throughout the world
destroying entire natural beings
insuring their ways never die
inserting false doctrine
fortifying positions
by being a part of each nation
living quietly, without notice

secrets are always brought to light

God† rules all
things are not as they seem
to control something so massive
you need cooperation
there is a great delusion
and it's going to be shaken up

this is He†, the Son† of God†

they didn't believe
when it was right before their eyes
or so it seems

if they didn't believe
they would not have gone
to massive lengths to change
the perception of the entire world

they 'knew'
they did believe

they feared losing control
mass religion 
became their way to control

mass testing began
the Father† refused to force
He† allowed the world to act
on its own
and He† turned His† back
on many

He† did not turn His† back
you know this
but false shepherds
are teaching different

correct them

time is changing

go in peace

words of Jesus†, Son† of God†

Notes: The photograph is from October 15, 2019: The Phoenix. The purple in the photograph David explained as the love of Jesus.

(February 10, 2022)―He led me to the description of the ‘re-inheritance’ as He calls it. Ezekiel 47: 15-48:29.

Continue reading “‘Open Sanctuary’ (Jesus)”

‘A Touch of Wisdom’ (Jesus)

‘A Touch of Wisdom’ (Jesus)…You have despised My holy things and desecrated My Sabbaths…—Ezekiel 22:1-16

A Touch of Wisdom (Jesus)

do you know what a chalice is
man sees the chalice as a cup
in God's† eyes
a chalice is a woman's womanhood
(the rose)

do you know what conviction is
neither do the men who have it

to travel the speed of sound
do you think it's to get somewhere
not really
man is trying to beat time times time

man's wisdom tells him he can
he believes his genius
he believes he's above God†

you and I† both know that isn't true

do you know love?
think before deciding your answer

here's some heavenly wisdom
from the Son† of the Almighty God†

everyone who says they know Me†
and says they know God† the Father†
and continues to judge, to have racism
hate, envy, jealousy, ego, pride
don't know Us†
they aren't living in love

if they are killing
they do not know God†
if they are living in sexual immorality
they are not in love

if they are not in love
they couldn't possibly know Me†
or the Father†

if they are still clinging to wealth
especially wealth
made off of Me† and the Father†

they don't know Me†!

love is truly absent of all
that I† said here

I† am He†
the one and only Son†
I† still have much to say

why now
why so many words

so that you have as much
as possible
to make a sound decision

to choose is a hard thing to do
but it is a soul decision
‒one only you can make

I†, the Lord Jesus†
will not make an earth decision
for you

the heavenly decision
is Mine† alone

and that decision, that choice
will come

go in peace

Notes: The photograph, chosen by David, is from September 27, 2019: Love from Heaven. Amazing. God is great ALL the time!

(February 4, 2022)―After ‘A Touch of Wisdom’ was given, He led me to Ezekiel 22. I leave it to you.

Continue reading “‘A Touch of Wisdom’ (Jesus)”

‘The Coming Change’ (Jesus)

‘The Coming Change’ (Jesus)…all of us are part of His† universe; no matter what we fathom, what we desire, what we look like, or how we were raised; ‒we are all part of His† heart

The Coming Change (Jesus)

it is in seeing signs
that we are warned
the universe
moved by the Almighty God†
guiding us
in the daily living
of our lives

all of us are part
of His† universe
no matter what we fathom
what we desire
what we look like
or how we were raised
‒we are all part
of His† heart

this is He†, Karen Elizabeth
I† am part of His† heart, too
He† made Me† head
He made each individual the body
He† planted us on earth
to grow and prosper
to be defeated and to learn
until that final day
young or old
each...a life intended
each...a life with meaning

each have a guide
if you know it or not
look for the signs
the smallest of them
to the largest of them

I† am He†
I† tell you the truth
everything is connected
everything has meaning

numbers are 'universal'
it is the only language on earth
remaining the same
they speak volumes

change is coming
change is in range

messages are everywhere
in all types of forms
for all nations: numbers

your guide guides you
listen you will hear
look you will see

five, five, five
five, five

change is coming
change is in range

don't waste time
your time will become Mine†
and...you won't know the time

Notes: The photographs are from October 23, 2019: The Dragon and the All-Seeing Eye. The faces…we are never alone. It is David who points these things out. And he is the one who selects the photographs for these writings.

If you have to look with good eyes.
Look closely…Faces.

(November 22, 2021)—The Scripture, Ezekiel 14:1-23 – 15:18, is for you as well. I was led to this after the writing of ‘The Coming Change’.

Continue reading “‘The Coming Change’ (Jesus)”

‘A Watchman’s Journey’

‘A Watchman’s Journey’….But if you do warn the wicked man to turn from his ways and he does not do so, he will die for his sin, but you will have saved yourself.―Ezekiel 33:1-9

 A Watchman's Journey
 He† called to me
 write what I say
 write what you see
 bringing me to words
 already shown
 already written
 so new words
 can flow
 and His† light
 continues to glow
 He† shows me what's lies
 He† shows me what's right
 as for me
 tears fall through the night
 the button's been pushed
 there's no turning back
 as from power
 He† removed the agitator
 and installed the second enabler
 I watch in wonder
 His† wonder
 as His plague moves
 ‒as He† said
 riots and chaos
 fires and crowds
 I watch His† wonder‒
 doing all the things
 He† had me write about
 ‒as I have to bite my tongue
 as He† puts before me
 false prophets
 mocking Him†
 for money and fame
 confusion is set
 He† tells me
 as Jesus† sends words
 to teach
 heal...His† primary demand
 heal hearts plagued with shame
 Jesus' words to get
 ‒hanging onto them
 like a leech
 bypassing man's interpretations
 for the divine
 ‒where only truth
 I find
 He† called me
 He† opened my ears
 He† opened my eyes
 after He† resurrected 
 my I
 now it's only His† time
 that I make time
 for what He† has shown
 all nations headed to doom
 is coming
 ‒with zero power
 in stopping 

Note: The top photograph was taken September 13, 2019: Messages byway of the Sun: My 5:55 Lake Visits. You can laugh and say all the markings that David points out and I write about are just camera tricks, etc., etc. God, through all of this, sends me signs because He says, ‘You’re human.’ So after the big visions and preparing me for massive amounts of photographs and why He was doing this, He did what He did to the second photograph. This was a set of three photographs my sister put together many moons ago, way before 2012, for Mother’s Day. It had a glass front but during one of my moves, the glass broke. So, I had set the photograph on my dresser and when I returned home from one of these photo-taking adventures, there it was. The symbols you see there where NOT part of the photographs before! They just appeared. The orb on my daughter’s mouth and the symbol on mine is telling me that it is our mouths that keep us apart! My mouth affects her mouth. With my son, it’s what I say that affects His mind and that I need to think more about him! In the first picture the symbol is on my forehead. God calls me Truth. The symbol is in between my eyes. Later, as you can witness in the photographs of my face during this receiving the third eye, the photographs that David allows me to see him, is between my eyes or covering the top of my eyes. I’m told that ALL the symbols in these pictures as well as the sun’s reflective rays on the water have meaning. It’s a math thing. I’m not math. He said that there are people in this world who know what they are. I will leave that to them. My job was just to take the pictures and post them for the world, all nations, to have access to them. I did my part.

(July 1, 2021)—I’m tired. I know what I hear and I know what I see and it is exhausting trying to get anyone to listen. They don’t care. They want to spend all their energy blaming and accusing yet they have not one bit of reasoning behind actually protecting their lives. They bitched about the masks, called everyone who wore them sheep, controlled hypocrites. Then they complied, but…but…they hated being the SAME. Vaccines…of the rush kind…all those screaming sheep ran to get those vaccines.

Continue reading “‘A Watchman’s Journey’”

‘Lay Siege’

She is facing to the left. Her hair is parted in the middle, and she is wearing a face mask! He was warning us of what was to come! Back in November of last year!

Lay Siege
I lay without emotion
except when the Lord† comes
my whole being
pours out its devotion
I don't go out much
not at all...do I endure
a human's touch
I live in a world
of sanctions
where governments
have lost the formulation
lost peaceful's gratification
I squirm under God's† hand
as He† makes me speak to man
through words‒
I very much understand
‒truth...no one's a fan
against human kind
they've lit a torch
my country, with empathy‒
there's no crush
peace and luxury‒
they hold the clutch
far superior to any nation
but it's still‒
not good enough
they allow themselves
the vine broken
without ramifications
no one really knowing
where lies jurisdiction
for false preaching
has added to their
I'm lost in this failed rush
on sex and deception‒
all of them
hold a crush
Your† truth my Lord†‒
they've turned to mush
as jeremiah cried
forever entombed laminations‒
they still eat the children
fearing wounds of hunger
they're throwing away
their ability in justification
byway of economic
Lord†, Your† wrath's here
to flush
all those arrogant
in strut
as I sit and watch‒
I can't stay in hush
You've† built in me‒
a worded rush
go against every bit
of shush
‒so hold me
while I fight them
getting on the bus
give me strength
to hold on
in all the fuss
I'm not going against
Your† wrath
I'm moving with it‒
in pure glorification
I'll sneak in the seeds
try to beat the corrosion
as You† implement
Your† cleansing application
‒I'll get in whatever I can
through the confusion
that is setting them
in delusion
I can do
at least that much
as long as on me‒
as on mankind
You† lay siege
‒You† continue Your† grace
in touch

Note: November 9, 2019: Certainty of Visions. An extraordinary day when it comes to the Lord revealing His magic. The below frame is of a woman. She is facing to the left. Her hair is parted in the middle, and she is wearing a face mask! He was warning us of what was to come! Back in November of last year! If you cannot see this then you are blinded to God and Jesus and you really need to figure out why! This frame is a blow up taken from the frame below it. It is in the water, in what we see with the naked eye as shadows. Embedded in these shadows are actual works of art from GOD. This is what He was mainly pointing out that day. Amazing when David started pointing them out to me and I began to see. I wanted to look at all the art work, which changed in seconds to entirely new canvases, but David said God thought I was overwhelmed! I was! He is flat-out amazing!. If I were an artist of brushes, which I’m not, I would be out there every day taking pictures of shadows then searching them for the gifts God is sending! I recon there’s some out there who have figured this out byway of a special messenger!

(June 22)―I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of His wrath. He has driven me away and made me walk in darkness rather than light; indeed, He has turned His hand against me again and again, all day long. He has made my skin and my flesh grow old and has broken my bones. He has besieged me and surrounded me with bitterness and hardship. He has made me dwell in darkness like those long dead. He has walled me in so I cannot escape; He has weighed me down with chains. Even when I call out or cry for help, He shuts out my prayer. He has barred my way with blocks of stone; He has made me paths crooked. Like a bear lying in wait, like a lion in hiding, He dragged me from the path and mangled me and left me without help. He drew His bow and made me the target for His arrows. He pieced my heart with arrows from His quiver. I became the laughingstock of all my people; they mock me in song all day long. He has filled me with bitter herbs and sated me with gall. He has broken my teeth with gravel; He has trampled me in the dust. I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. So I say, ‘My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord.’ I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:—Lamentations 3:1-21

(November 26)—I slept all day because once again I have my days and nights mixed up. No worries. I’ve always worked better at night. It’s quiet. I sat down to write and ‘Open the book’ came and Ezekiel’s words about the end days. I wanted to cry. David said, ‘I will show you a work that goes with that.’ About an hour later, he did, ‘Lay Siege’, which was written in June of this year. There’s no argument that David led me to this piece on purpose!

Continue reading “‘Lay Siege’”

March 22: Four Discs Dream (God)

“…I will make your forehead like the hardest stone, harder than flint. Do not be afraid of them or terrified by them, though they are a rebellious house…” Ezekiel 3:4-11

It is 4:44 on March 22, 2020! It is Sunday. I was typing up Ezekiel when I was told to record the dream that I had early this morning before I lose the details.

The Dream: There was a hallway. It was long but interesting. It looked to be in a fancy home or office building. The wood was like dark cherry and dark oak stain. I remember seeing one door entrance to my left and a few to my right. The door entrances were surrounded by very detailed molding. The top of each had an arch to the molding. There were lines down this hall way, and shapes on the floor and walls although I don’t remember them. I just know they were there. There was nothing bright. It was all dark colors. It was exquisite and had my full attention. I chose not to go down this hall. To my left was another hall exactly like the first. I picked this one and began walking in it, but I stopped right inside the hallway because I saw spider webs.

Taken March 1, all I saw were rainbows in the clouds…it was an angel.
Continue reading “March 22: Four Discs Dream (God)”

‘Call Her Witch!’ and ‘Uncircumcised’ (Jesus)

…I rather my child heart than adult B.S.! I see God’s vision a lot clearer that way!

 Call Her Witch!
 join the unbelievers
 chant it loud
 'witch! witch! witch!'
 then pick up your stone
 –cast it on your own
 you...the deceivers
 gather your ropes
 around her neck...tie
 then watch her kick
 'til she dies
 chant it loud
 'witch! witch! witch!'
 go ahead...take pictures
 with your phone
 join the connivers
 those living in the dark
 crucify her–
 show your heart
 she paid for her sins
 now let's see you
 pay for yours!
 in control...there's the Lord†
 whom you already crucified
 over and over
 you continue your shame
 calling it holy
 using the Lord's† name
 in your circles...shout
 'witch! witch! witch!'
 for she received wisdom
 –your dark secrets
 for you to heal
 instead...her life–
 you want to steal
 go ahead!
 chant it loud
 'witch! witch! witch!'
 the future will know
 which of you
 the Lord† almighty–
 leaves in the ditch
 scratching walls
 of an endless pit! 
deep hidden inside the temple
lies the sanctuary
pumping gold and silver
–to and from
up and down
sometimes soft
sometimes hard
knowing a cleansing
–soon to be coming
the removing of the dark
from the sanctuary walls
takes time
a complete bleed out
a total rebuilding
for its beauty to shine through
for it's beautiful music
to be heard
it is in these times
marks of hatred are noticed
–that too must be cleansed
cut, cut, cut
'til all the baggage is gone
clip, clip, clip
every single loose grip
wiped out
a purification
as the walls are strengthened
the workers hard at work
each one
working on the sanctuary
that is part of one
through time
its beauty shines through
the darkened halls
fill with light
and there's nothing left
but that bright
–and the sanctuary
is opened for‒
the entrance of life

Note: The photograph was taken in October 2019. The image on top of my eyes is the Hand of God on me. He is allowing me to take these photographs to teach about who He truly is. (I’m sure I’m not the only one!) You can see more pictures like this and the process that began the awakening part of this on the pages Third Eye (Spiritual Gifts), My Aura: The Love of Jesus, God, the Sun and Me, God Sends Love Orbs. I’m not concerned with the criticism of the titles of these pages or what I called things like Jesus Sprinkles on the page Jesus’ Army and Jesus Sprinkles...that is childish B.S. You name them whatever you want to name these things. I name them what comes to my heart, I rather my child heart than adult B.S.! I see God’s vision a lot clearer that way!

(February 28)—For the first time since I left him, I texted the sweet man. Since November, it’s been a monthly thing but he texts me first. And it always ends the same…anger. He not even coming close to resembling anything remotely close to healed. Me getting to the point of just driving in what God wants of him. All the rest…total BS! And…the man doesn’t see it at all. So, this time was no different…except that I sent the first text and it was to see if any healing was being done. None!

Continue reading “‘Call Her Witch!’ and ‘Uncircumcised’ (Jesus)”

‘Dried-up Noise’

‘Perhaps that itself is the very answer: as Creator of the universe God can and does act in ways that confound men. Death undoubtedly has a totally different significance to God than it does to man….’―The Daily Bible, In Chronological Order, 365 Daily Readings

Note: The photograph that accompanies this work was taken October 15th when God sent the Phoenix, the symbol of rebirth. This photograph is another example of God’s energy. He manipulates the green Orb to reveal His footprint!

 Dried-up Noise
 the voices tingled in my head
 repeated phrases it said
 words in condemn
 words in criticize
 words in broken malice
 –bringing my heart to dread
 I listened for a time
 put it in rhyme–
 to draw lines
 –casting it all aside
 then pulling it back inside
 all those words–
 written and said
 words people used as led
 drowning me in their dead
 –pounding me over the head
 for those words...out...I bled
 laying on my bed
 not kneeling beside
 laying...in stillness
 staring out...in semi-light
 –this blank picture
 in...did reside
 wondering about all these lies
 'what's the point...why
 what's the hard...in kind
 –where folks don't even try'
 crying my eyes–
 'til they were red
 all that noise...all of it–
 poundings of syllables
 over each...my heart–
 continued in bled
 –over lost thoughts
 I became wed
 pondering the breaded words fed
 covering me with their heated lead
 then it began to happen

 unknown masked covers–
 I began to shed
 piece by piece
 stripping them off of me
 laying them out on the table–
 carefully examining them–
 debating if I wanted to keep 
 this one or that one
 yelling at some
 praising others
 –laughing over the fun of some
 agreeing with those
that led to hard lessons
 ridiculing those
that made me feel
silly and dumb
 across the table–
 all of them I spread
 some: kept me above water
 in tread
 others: mended brokenness
 with the tinniest of threads
 some: out of me...came the best
 others: made me sit back in rest
 while still others:
 seemed only to be a contest
 lost in a conquest
 of an enjoyable fest
 –those brought out the sexiness
 ending in me being less
 through all of them–
 came an abundance of noise
 shaking up my poise
 trying to sink in...my voice
 so I had this choice:
 picking through each–
 as they laid there
 on this simple table–
 used to wine and dine
 no, not I...it wasn't the time
 as I looked at each–
 I slowly awakened from blind
 moving from this carefree feline
 to something more magnificent
 –not a lioness falling in line
 but more of the spectrum
 of a roaring lion
 –taking that dried-up byline
 'I am fine'
 to something closer to divine
 each little façade
 that set up a moment's drive–
 I began to divide
 'til the table was full of times
 –moments of self
 I didn't recognize
 a little...I cried
 I over-indulged at times
 in what I ate
 adding a bit of weight
 –trying hard to saturate
 what drove each mask to sedate
 –what invited in the noise
 but that was it–
 I wondered in surprise
 there was no drinking it away
 there was no sexting in obliviate–
 that led to sex in fake
 there was no desiring need
 to get high
 or even serious moments
 of wanting to die
 I sat...laid...stood–
 all in unchartered wonder
 asking myself: why
 –I pondered this mystify
 from the bedroom to the bathroom
 from the living room to the kitchen
 even the spaces in between
 reading social media on the bed
 binging out on the sofa
 sitting at the table–
 smoking cloves, drinking sodas
 fixing coffee in the kitchen
 staring at empty space
 staring at all I possess
 singing along to my favorite tunes
 talking it out with myself
 talking it out...to the air
 talking it out with God†
 asking over and over:
 'what had changed'
 wondering, searching
 as I starred down at the table
 then the questions stopped!
 each piece...I began to shred
 as each piece met its death–
 its destructive words...fled
 like a menacing rodent–
 they just up and left
 something began to happen:
 the table's clutter
 began to become less
 each mask staring back at me
 each tiny piece of each whole
 saddened its face–
 and just up and left
 the weight....
 that laid heavy on me
 in rest
 became less and less
 'what is happening'
 I kept asking–
 without trying to answer
 in guess
 words just didn't come
 instead...something unknown:
 in self...less and less
 I wasn't anymore feeling–
 like a guest
 the words that once
 tingled my head
 the words that I pondered
 –brought me to dead
 just left
 over which ones–
 I dreaded...would be next
 not anymore
 came a need to call
 came a need to text
 came a need...up...sex
 came a need...words in fed
 –sit around and dread
 empty...the table–
 bare and neat
 all that laid on it
 –without fighting
 I let go: shred
 I looked in my bathroom mirror
 –there she was
 the one...behind...I'd left
 on my face...added lines
 in my hair...a silver shine
 oh my! all that time
 –my she was always
 waiting inside
 I stood there...listening
 just memories of dried-up voices
 –all that...with me...toiled
 finally became soil
 beneath my feet!
 out of blind....
 there's nothing in front of me
 but time
 unknown, undiscovered
 –a newness in divine
 that I didn't know was mine! 

(January 1, 2020)―I was led to Ezekiel this morning. The Parable of the Cooking Pot caught my eye. (I will explain it below.) I read it, then asked, ‘What to write, my Lord?’, but I was empty for a while. ‘The heart’…were words that kept coming through. I sat there for a while…still empty,  then ‘Dried-up Noise’ bled on the page.  It’s truth. Yes, the continuing story of my own life being used as a symbol of life in a way. And…God: After writing this and typing in the parable, I was led to read more, then type in the rest of the Scripture under the two titles: ‘Siege of Jerusalem’ and ‘Siege Announced to Ezekiel’. It gets even more interesting: I’m directed to read the explanations by my Bible’s commentarians. I’ve read all of them once back in 2007, and since then, I’m not compelled to read them over often or include them in my commentaries. Today, was different. For good reason. God is answering me in a very big way!

Continue reading “‘Dried-up Noise’”
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