‘Pondering of Heart’

Note: The photograph that accompanies this work was taken November 11th. The Orb near the cloud formation is telling us what to watch for in the photograph. The avenging angel slowly makes its way across the sky. You can ignore or pay attention. God always gives us a choice. His promises are coming all the same…if you believe or not. When it happens, don’t ask, ‘What the fuck is going on?’ He’s already told you through me. You just refused to listen and prepare.

 Pondering of Heart
  
 it's abundantly clear–
 a treasure
 from the house of asher
 –a simple, loud gesture
 giving, not taking–
 in the wavering
 of survivor
  
 don't look behind–
 in the rear
 what's lost...became
 of the wedding crashers
 taking, taking
 without thought–
 of the whiner or the loser
  
 from out of darkness–
 comes light
 from an impending doom–
 to...there's still room
 –stretching these arms
 peace raging–
 out of the storm
 –for someone
   sounded the horn 

(December 5, 2019)―‘Pondering of Heart’, written on the 3rd, has taken me a while to think over. What Jesus has to say in the following Scripture is serious, and I usually write for God. Writing something for Jesus is a whole different emotion for me and I’ve been nervous, for He is my brother and my love for Him…always brings me to tears. Hard love. He had to dish it out as well and He’s showing me here that no matter how you put it, they won’t see if God doesn’t want them to see with their eyes. God’s biggest test is this: Can they see with their heart?

There is so much that God is revealing to me. I can’t make you see with your eyes, if He’s not ready for you to see with your eyes. But it IS expected of you to already be able to see with your heart! There was a simple question recently brought up as I was talking with one of my most dearest and trusted of friends: ‘Why are we here?’ Part of the answer to that question is found below. There’s a part I’m not allowed to know. From my own point of view: Why do we even need to know the answer to that question? Isn’t faith enough?

For me, God speaks to me. Jesus speaks to me. My doubt lingers because of man…and man alone. Why all the hate because of their names? Why all the questions concerning what God created? Hasn’t He done enough to show you He is the creator? These are the most important questions. These questions outweigh ‘Why are we here?’ in ways so profound to me that it brings me to tears every time. God created you. Isn’t that enough?

His Son speaks:

Lesson from Fig Tree—[Mark] In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots. Peter remembered and said to Jesus, ‘Rabbi, look! The fig tree You cursed has withered!’ [Matthew] When the disciples saw this, they were amazed. ‘How did the fig tree wither so quickly?’ they asked. Jesus replied, ‘I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. [Mark] And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.’―Matthew 21:20-22; Mark 11:20-26 (from Bethany to Jerusalem)

NOTES: It is so very hard to be without doubt. I’m told this is being human. Have you ever done anything on faith alone? If you have, then you know that it is both difficult and easy. It’s easy because you just know…it’s that simple. It’s difficult because others won’t see what you see. They will criticize you and treat you horrible sometimes. Faith. I’ve learned that even though I have doubt, I still do…and that is what God is expecting from me. So you can be shaking with doubt, but as long as you do what He ask of you, you are doing just fine.

Then on the other hand, if you just give into the doubt, guess who you are giving into? Being scared is okay. Being a coward is not. Suck it up and just do what God is asking you to do. It does not matter what other people think of you. You aren’t here to please people. Fear God…not people.

No one can be just like Jesus. No one. But we can try to get as close to Him as possible. Forgiving. Forgiving is very hard when someone has done something bad to us, but it is expected. I can only give you my point of view of things that happened in my life. People that have come into my life…they never have actually sat down with me and talked with me after alls been said and done because of judgment. I forgive and I’m constantly working on my weaknesses, my faults. I show kindness and do my best to put whatever hurt I have behind me. This doesn’t happen right away, but it comes. Those who were on the other end, they seem not to see it. They just cancel me out like I’m a piece of trash. Why? Is that the way of Jesus?

I’m told that those people are afraid to confront me, to speak with me. Why? Do they not know that I’m afraid, too? They have rejected me and canceled me out without forgiveness. Still…I’m willing to walk the way of Jesus…no matter how hard it is. Why can’t they feel the same? For example, I have two sisters that betrayed each other, and, still, instead of being unforgiving to each other, they are unforgiving to me…the one not even involved. And when I’m told by Jesus to talk about it and help them come to terms with what they did…they canceled me out more. Strange. Jesus revealed to me how this was done to Him. He tells me that it is okay. The test is for them and not for me. I only did what He asked of me. This, He said, is not a test…this is how God made me. This is my job.

So, when others hold their sins against you, the innocent, there’s nothing you can do. Yes, you can pray for them. I do. But they have to do their part. It’s up to them to save their souls. When you call them out or point out what they have done wrong and tell them God and Jesus aren’t pleased, you’ve done your part. You sounded the horn. And we are all responsible for this. Each of us have to take accountability for our own actions, as well as help guide those who strayed from, back to Jesus and God. We are the vine. We are the body of Christ. ‘I am in Christ. Christ is in me.’ And because we are the body of Christ, we have God in us as well. We are responsible for each other.

This…this simple thing is so missing for society. Instead we place judgment, we blame. Sounding the horn is different from judgment. Learning this is very important. If you are not familiar with what ‘sounding the horn’ means, you don’t know the Bible…you don’t know God or Jesus. You are missing a very important part of who they are.

Jesus’ Authority Questioned—They arrived again in Jerusalem, and while Jesus was walking in the temple courts, the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders came to Him. ‘By what authority are You doing these things?’ they asked. ‘And who gave You authority to do this?’ Jesus replied, ‘I will ask you one question. Answer Me, and I will tell you by what authority I am doing these things. John’s baptism—was it from heaven, or from men? Tell Me!’ They discussed it among themselves and said, ‘If we say, ‘From heaven,’ He will ask, ‘Then why didn’t you believe him?’ But if we say, ‘From men…’ (They feared the people, for everyone held that John really was a prophet.) So they answered Jesus, ‘We don’t know?’ Jesus said, ‘Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things.’—Matthew 21:23-27; Mark 11:27-33; Luke 20:1-8

NOTES:  If they knew God, they wouldn’t have had to discuss it among themselves! They gave into their doubt. They feared the people more than they feared God. That’s the wrong answer! These so-called believers in God were tested over and over and they failed. Isn’t that something! Those who are SUPPOSED to KNOW God…didn’t know Him at all! And it’s still true today!

Again, God’s biggest test: What’s in our hearts? In all the parables that follow here, Jesus is telling us who God is. Why can’t you see? God doesn’t allow just anyone in Heaven, His kingdom! Where did you go so wrong in thinking that He does? He needs to test your heart to see if YOU are worthy of His kingdom. Don’t you get this? If you have to consult other people to keep your own thoughts in check, then something is very, very wrong. What IS in your heart? Not other people’s heart…YOURS? Don’t you know? If you are an adult and you don’t know, don’t you think it’s time that you do?

Relying on other people to tell you how you should feel, or what you should know is the ultimate sign of weakness. If you can’t stand away from your crowd and be true to your own thoughts and feelings, then you are not with God. Sorry. You are blind to your heart! This is sad.

Standing alone is hard. It is so very lonely. I know. This is my life. Of all the people that God has put before me, they have all left. It was their choice. God removed them to protect me. He gave them the choice to examine their own hearts…they failed. They relied on other people. They relied on their own sins and fear…blocking out what God wants more than anything: LOVE!

Being the one on the opposite end of that, I have to accept it. I do. It is hard. It makes me cry. Why wouldn’t it? Seeing people fail God’s tests is the ultimate sad…I know that too many fails takes them to a place when they leave this earth that’s not a good place. I don’t want that for anyone…no matter how much they hurt me. This is the whole point behind my fuck-you church. I’ll do whatever I have to to drive the seed in…healing is so very important to me…even if I have to fall a time or two to do it! To me…it’s worth it!

Parable of Two Sons—‘What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’ ‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. ‘Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go. Which of the two did what his father wanted?’ ‘The first,’ they answered. Jesus said to them, ‘I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.‘—Matthew 21:28-32

NOTES: I wrote years ago in one of my books that a man on death row could enter the kingdom of heaven if he got right with Jesus and opened his heart up fully to Him the last day he was alive on this earth. Jesus tells us this in this parable. God says that we will never know when the thief will come and snatch us. Are you ready? How do you know?

{‘I was the first son.’…this sentence I wrote during the initial writing of this note…it is completely out of context! I’m leaving it in. Jesus is speaking!}

At first, when God called me to do His work, I ignored and argued with Him. Of course, I had no idea what He wanted me to write. But the feeling was put into me to learn publishing, to study the internet (this was before there were ready-made websites and stuff), to study writing poetry and novels. I became transfixed on this. It was all I could think about. I was a mother and teacher…but I was doing all of this learning every chance I could. I couldn’t deny it. Then…when the time came for me to start doing what He called me to do, it was the most natural thing in the world. I couldn’t read as many novels anymore, because my focus was on the truth. I couldn’t concentrate on anything really, but every single day I wrote. This learning part is how God works. Don’t ignore it. Just flow with it. It will eventually make sense!

Actions. It’s what we do that pleases God. He knows that we won’t get it right away. His love in unconditional. He knows other people won’t understand. He knows that we have to battle with our mind in order to figure out all that He is sending to us. For one: He doesn’t really come out and say what it is He wants us to do. He sends signs and feelings. We just have to learn what they are and ignore people who try to change our minds. Ignore people who boldly and arrogantly say, ‘You won’t make it.’ I’m sorry…God said I could!

We all don’t answer the call right away. It’s expected. As in the vision when Jesus took me to the cross. After, when I’m walking with Him, He beckoned me to follow Him. He didn’t speak. He held His left arm out a little with His hand opened wide. I knew what He wanted. I stood still for a moment. He kept walking ahead of me slow. He put it into my mind that I had a choice to follow Him or not. He WANTED me to decide. He WANTED me to choose…to think about it first. He did not want an impulse decision from me. He did this to reveal to me that we all have a choice. God and Jesus are NOT going to force us to follow them. It’s our choice…free-will and unconditional love.

God will test each of us by allowing Satan to fuck with us. (I’m going to say it that way because those who already know, I don’t have to be stern with. Those who do not or aren’t sure, I will be as stern as I have to and talk in their language to make them understand. So, keep your judgment in check.) Death will come to us. Sin. For a reason. Are you going to hate God because disease hit you or someone you love? Are you going to hate God because murder or the body quitting too early hit you or someone you love? Are you going to hate God because you lost your home, or job, or you are treated unfairly, etc., etc.? Are you going to cancel out Jesus because something bad happened to you? This is THE tests!

He wants to know if you will say: I hate you! or There’s no such thing as God or Jesus. or I don’t believe. He wants to hear it from you. He already knows what you will say. He wants to know if anyone will come to help you see truth. The vine! He won’t hold it against you right away. He will let you move through your pain. I learned those chosen will NOT say this ever! The weak will…it is up to the rest of us to help them back to the Lord.

Here’s Truth: If you know of someone who has turned from the Lord, and you do not try to plant a seed, this weighs on your heart…those marks I talk about. Sound the horn! means more than just warning others against sin. It’s doing what you can to drop that seed in their heart…lead their heart back to God.

Parable of Murderous Tenants—[Mark] He then began to speak to them in parables: ‘A man planted a vineyard. He put a wall around it, dug a pit for the winepress and built a watchtower. Then he rented the vineyard to some farmers and went away on a journey. At harvest time he sent a servant to the tenants to collect from them some of the fruit of the vineyard. But they seized him, beat him and sent him away empty-handed. Then he sent another servant to them; they struck this man on the head and treated him shamefully. He sent still another, and that one they killed. He sent many others; some of them they beat, others they killed. He had one left to send, a son, whom he loved. He sent him last of all, saying, ‘They will respect my son.’ But the tenants said to one another, ‘This is the heir. Come, let’s kill him, and the inheritance will be ours.’ So they took him and killed him, and threw him out of the vineyard. What then will the owner of the vineyard do? He will come and kill those tenants and give the vineyard to others. [Luke] When the people heard this, they said, ‘May this never be!‘—Matthew 21:33-41; Mark 12:1-9; Luke 20:9-16

NOTES: If you didn’t catch on: The man in the parable is God. The tenants are the people. The servants he sends to collect are God’s prophets. The son is Jesus. The inheritance is the kingdom of heaven.

So, knowing this, as I just wrote…Jesus was telling them what was going to happen! He was foretelling. All that He did, all that He said…they didn’t see. God veiled them all of their knowledge, of course. He had to. This was ALL going to happen. It was already planned way before Jesus was born! A new covenant was going to be put into affect. Blood HAD to be shed for this to happen. Remember a Will is not read until someone dies! God tested the Jews to the max: Not by what they knew, but by what they felt in their hearts. This broke God’s heart for He already knew: They were unfaithful to Him in their hearts! And then they betrayed Him by rejecting His beloved Son. God already knew. Jesus told them to their faces that He already knew. This brought shame to them…and they refused to ever acknowledge God’s Son. Isn’t that something! All because of shame. And Jesus will NOT come again until this shame is washed away…gone!

This was a symbol. Like the Jews refusing to acknowledge God’s Son, many, many people who have been violated in some way, refuse to acknowledge what happened to them in order to heal. You see, all that the Jews today have to do is change their hearts and acknowledge Jesus Christ and they will be healed…they will rise out of their shame. They will save their souls and go to heaven. Until then, they all go to the pit!

This healing process is the same with those who are hurt, who live with buried pain. All they have to do is heal by acknowledging what happened to them, forgive and accept it. All they have to do is change their hearts and walk the way of Jesus. It is difficult…yet so very simple. A changed man…it is revealed by the things he does because, before the change, he walked by lust and self. After the change, he walks purely by heart and love…the way of Jesus!

He will come and kill those tenants and give the vineyard to others….Even Jesus talks about God’s wrath. What part of this don’t you understand? It’s the same as you not believing in His prophets. You never really did. Jesus tells you that God will throw your butt out if you don’t follow His laws. And…what do you do? Oh, you gallivant through life as if God doesn’t exist. You say, ‘May this never be!‘ I got news for you: They were lying to themselves then as you are now.

This time around, it’s not about just a town or one particular people. He did throw the tenants out! His originally chosen people. There’s no more ISRAEL as in a particular country. There’s no more JEWS…the chosen people. Somehow, y’all missed this in the Bible. How? I can’t comprehend this because it’s right there in black and white. ALL people became His people! Keep reading. Jesus says this more than once.

The Rejected Stone—Jesus said to them, ‘Have you never read in the Scriptures: ‘The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone [cornerstone]; the Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes’? (Psalm 118:22,23) ‘Therefore I tell you that the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people who will produce its fruit. He who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed.’—Matthew 21:42-44; Mark 12:10,11; Luke 20:17,18

NOTES: Black and white. There’s no gray area here. It’s everyone’s responsibility to follow Jesus, to learn His love and to open your heart up. Even if you are a descendant of those God casted out…you have a choice. All these people talking about they are the chosen people…they are lying. All this concentration on Israel…you’ve forgotten the words of Jesus. All this talk of another type of Bible…GOG! You are believing the wrong things. I tell you this: I’d rather be broken to pieces, go down in the darkness and be rebuilt than crushed all together!

Jesus…I will repeat this as many times as I have to…tells US ALL that those original peoples of God no longer exist as separate from the rest of us. He will repeat this over and over as well. You are deaf and blind to the true words of the Lord. He says to not take away or add to His words, yet you are constantly doing so. All those calling themselves Jews and canceling out Jesus and banging their head against the wall…you are still hypocrites! Until you accept Jesus into your hearts as who He truly is…the Son of God…to the pit! Eternity is a damn long time…it never ends! Sad!

Religious Leaders Angered—When the chief priests and the Pharisees heard Jesus’ parables, they knew He was talking about them. They looked for a way to arrest Him, but they were afraid of the crowd because the people held that He was a prophet.—Matthew 21:45,46; Mark 12:12; Luke 20:19

NOTES: They knew He was talking about them! Oh, hell, they knew He was God’s Son. They got pissed at God and refused to acknowledge His Son. And…OH a BIG AND…they, chief priests and Pharisees…those responsible to teach the people about GOD!…didn’t know or understand what it was they were teaching. They wanted to kill a man! They were judging a man! Thou shall love your neighbor…completely went out the window! Of course, God was doing this…but they did have a choice to change things up. They didn’t. God discovered their true hearts! They were unfaithful. Bigots!

They went after blood because Jesus was telling the truth and they feared what they had done! They feared the people! Guilt consumed them…so they crucified a man because of their own sins…their own unfaithful hearts! Boy, doesn’t that sound familiar? Has anyone been crucified by people because you live a better life in honesty and they are shamed by their ways so they casted you out? Hmmm….my hand is up!

Parable of Wedding Banquet—Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son. He sent his servants to those who had been invited to the banquet to tell them to come, but they refused to come. Then he sent some more servants and said, ‘Tell those who have been invited that I have prepared my dinner: My oxen and fattened cattle have been butchered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding banquet.’ But they paid no attention and went off―one to his field, another to his business. The rest seized his servants, mistreated them and killed them. The king was enraged. He sent his army and destroyed those murderers and burned their city. Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding banquet is ready, but those I invited did not deserve to come. Go to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find.’ So the servants went out into the streets and gathered all the people they could find, both good and bad, and the wedding hall was filled with guests. But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes. ‘Friend,’ he asked, ‘how did you get in here without wedding clothes?’ The man was speechless. Then the king told the attendants, ‘Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ For many are invited, but few are chosen.’—Matthew 22:1-14

NOTES: This is the same as the Parable of Murderous Tenants. The wedding banquet is the kingdom of heaven. The king is God. His son is Jesus. His servants are the prophets. The invited guess were His chosen people.

Again, foretelling. Jesus telling them who HE is, who GOD is. He told them that God knew everything, that He saw and knew that they had better things to do than to follow His laws. So, He sent His son to pave the way for everyone. Jesus was sent to save the sinners. There’s NO more righteous people on earth in God’s eyes. We are ALL sinners, and if we don’t seek Jesus, we don’t get the kingdom! It is that simple!

Do you understand the bold sentences in the Scripture? The symbol of the wedding clothes…the man wasn’t wearing any. The wedding clothes is the goodness in our hearts. This man didn’t have goodness in his heart…hence he wasn’t dressed for the occasion. Oh, you can dress really nice, have nice things, go to church every Sunday, be nice to people, do things for others, but if you have a hateful heart, you aren’t going to heaven! I talk about doing…action…all the time…and I talk about a good heart all the time. These two things go hand and hand, in case you didn’t get this.

Say there’s this rich man and he goes about his business of making money, but doesn’t really pay attention to anyone. He’s totally focused on his wealth. He never gives away anything. All he’s concerned about is accumulating wealth. One day, he hears about heaven and hell…which he learned as a child, but when he became an adult, money became his god. But something clicked in him, mainly because he’s now up in age and that little bug is starting to talk in his head about maybe there really is a heaven and hell. So, what he heard about heaven and hell is that if he did good deeds, he’d go to heaven and escape the fires of hell. Oh shit! that sounds like a plan, he thought. He tells his secretary to locate some charity deals and send each a large check every year. But then he hears that he must do something himself. Okay, there’s a kitchen down the road that feeds the homeless, so he decides to donate a couple hours of his time every Christmas, only while he’s doing the deed, he’s judging all the people who come through the line, he’s complaining and wishing he was some place else.

The man in the above paragraph does not have a good heart. He can give all the money he wants away. He can spend all the time he can helping others, but he’s not doing a damn thing in God’s eyes if he does it with a bad heart…meaning: he doesn’t have love in his heart. This is what the wedding clothes means. Yes, we are ALL invited to the kingdom of heaven…but we aren’t all going to go there.

Leaders Ask About Taxes—[Matthew] Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap Him in His words. They sent their disciples to Him along with the Herodians…[Luke] spies, who pretended to be honest. They hoped to catch Jesus in something He said so that they might hand Him over to the power and authority of the governor. So the spies questioned Him: ‘Teacher, we know that You speak and teach what is right, and that You do not show partiality but teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. Is it right for us to pay taxes to Caesar or not?’ He saw through their duplicity and said to them, ‘Show me a denarius [money of the time]. Whose portrait and inscription are on it?’ ‘Caesar’s,’ they replied. He said to them, ‘Then give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.’ They were unable to trap Him in what He had said there in public. And astonished by His answer, they became quiet.—Matthew 22:15-22; Mark 12:113-17; Luke 20:20-26

NOTES: Why would they want to trap Him? Weren’t they supposed to be of God? Didn’t they know the words of God? Why were they judging Him? Oh, wait…these are the same people who stoned women and killed other people who didn’t follow what they said! Hypocrites. Jesus was right.

There are two sides to every situation: One ours. One God’s. He has an objective. We see only what He allows us to see. And nothing is what it seems. The Jews were veiled. But…we should all know what He’s talking about. ‘Then give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.’ Do you get it? What is God’s? EVERYTHING! He’s all! These people knew this. They were trying to trick Him, but they failed. They knew they failed…but they wouldn’t quit.

Here’s another point that they knew, but were veiled against: God is ALL. He controls ALL. All is God. He put all in the positions that they hold: Clergy, government…everything. All test ALL. So, He put Caesar in place as ruler. He made Caesar make coins with his own name on it. What is Caesar’s is God’s! Jesus will say this very same thing in another parable further down. God further says that we are to follow authority. He is in control. What people in authority do…is their choice…to follow God or not. And on down the line!

Resurrection Questioned—That same day the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to Him with a question. ‘Teacher,’ they said, ‘Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and have children for him. Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. Finally, the woman died. Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?’ Jesus replied, ‘You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection people neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. But about the resurrection of the dead―have you not read what God said to you, ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’ (Exodus 3:6)? He is not the God of the dead but of the living.’ When the crowds heard this, they were astonished at His teaching.—Matthew 22:23-33; Mark 12:18-27; Luke 20:27-28

NOTES: There are two types of resurrections: the one when our souls depart our bodies when the body goes to sleep and the one in which we rise from the darkness…our sins. The first type…there’s no use mourning too much because God’s already removed the soul from the body. I know this is hard to understand. I missed my mom so much when she passed. But the Lord revealed her to me in a different way, that of heaven.

Through the visions, God has shown me that He does not want us to mourn the dead as in these fancy funerals and monuments. In fact, He hates these monuments. That money should be used for the living. We are to quickly bury the dead and move on. All these people who force us to spend thousands of dollars on burying our dead, they are of the world. God does not approve. On us, as individuals, our mourning spell should leave us quickly because we should know that those who left us are with our Father in Heaven if they lived a good life. If they didn’t, it’s not for us to worry because they chose the life they lived. Their journey is now their own.

There are many things that go through my mind when death…as in the body quitting…comes to mind, and there’s so much more I will teach in the coming years to get you to understand fully God’s intentions. For now, know that God is for the living. When tragedy comes, we are to focus on the living. That’s God’s primary concern and the biggest test for us.

As in us dying then resurrecting from our sins, this is VERY important. When we sink into the darkness, God is bringing us there for a reason. He will leave us for a spell, so that we may get to that place where we ask for His mercy. He’s testing our hearts. You must understand this. Everything happens for a reason. Everything. You must learn to pay attention and stop dwelling on hate and what other people have done to you. I know this is hard. It was fucking hard for me and I dwelled on it for years. Eventually, God showed me the way byway of Jesus. Jesus comes in once we ask for God’s help and brings those crumbs. Piece by piece, He guides us through. If we don’t pay attention, we miss the signs. Have faith. That’s all it takes.

The Greatest  Commandment—One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked Him, ‘Of all the commandments, which is the most important?’ ‘The most important one,’ answered Jesus, ‘is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength’ (Deut 6:4,5) The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Lev 19:18) There is no commandment greater than these.’ ‘Well said, teacher,’ the man replied. ‘You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but Him. To love Him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.’ When Jesus saw that he had answered wisely, He said to him, ‘You are not far from the kingdom of God.’—Matthew 22:34-40; Mark 12:28-34; Luke 20:39,40

NOTES: Notice the two Commandments are written TWICE! IMPORTANT! Pay attention.

Love. There’s not much to say here. Love. As Jesus’ death left the Royal Law of Love on our hearts, with love, we shouldn’t want to hurt anyone, or steal, or whatever. But…always a but, God puts us through sin to teach us. There are many lessons within this one big lesson. The main one is to remain faithful to God even when we hurt the most. He’s doing what He’s doing to make us stronger. You’ve got to trust in the process. He also sees if we are going to hurt others in the process. That’s a big one. In love, you may think about hurting them, you may say things that hurt them, but are you going to actually do something that will really hurt them: like physical harm, lie, manipulation…that sort of thing?

Love. You cannot debate it. It is obvious when love is in the mix. Forgiveness comes. Forgiveness is given. Sorrys come easy. When people are in love, they move in love. If they have done wrong to someone, in love, they fix it…they do whatever is necessary. People who are not in love, ignore…bring more pain, run, hide, condemn, gossip. They are not living the way of Jesus. They will condemn those living the way of Jesus. This isn’t me talking. This is how it IS!

Jesus Asks About Ancestry—[Matthew] While the Pharisees were gathered together, Jesus asked them, ‘What do you think about the Christ? Whose son is He?’ ‘The son of David,’ they replied. He said to them, ‘How is it then that David, speaking by the Spirit, calls him ‘Lord’? For he says, ‘This Lord said to my Lord: ‘Sit at my right hand until I put your enemies under your feet.’ (Psalm 110:1) If then David calls him ‘Lord,’ how can he be His son?’ [Mark] The large crowd listened to Him with delight. [Matthew] No one could say a word in reply, and from that day on no one dared to ask Him any more questions.—Matthew 22:41-46; Mark 12:35-37; Luke 20:41-44

NOTES: Jesus is telling them that He has always been. Jesus is the Son of the ultimate King…GOD! That makes Him Lord, too! If you understand the reason for the new covenant, then you can understand this. I’ve already written about this in Book 12. Jesus coming to earth was always the plan. Jesus is separate from God. God is all energy…meaning He is in every one of us. When God put Jesus ahead of us, we then became part of Jesus’ body…this is VERY important that you understand this.

This is like the third or fourth time that Jesus says He’s always been. Still, they don’t get it in their hearts. Do you get it? Do you understand this? Through all the visions and pictures that God has sent to us through me, through all the words He’s sent to us through me…He’s telling you again that all of this was always planned. You aren’t listening. It’s all about healing. It was always about healing. It was always about saving your soul. It was and is always going to be about: Are you worthy of God’s kingdom? Eternity is forever. Don’t you get that!

Self-Righteousness Condemned―Then Jesus said to the crowds and to His disciples: ‘The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must obey them and do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. Everything they do is done for men to see: They make their phylacteries [that is, boxes containing Scripture verses, worn on forehead and arm] wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplace and to have men call them ‘Rabbi.’ But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and He is in heaven. Nor are you to be called ‘teacher,’ for you have one Teacher, the Christ. The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.―Matthew 23:1-12; Mark 12:38-40; Luke 20:45-47

NOTES: Nothing much has changed. This is still true in churches and in governments and in common people who have money and go into a church each week and act all good and then leave church and gossip, treat people mean, ignore the homeless, etc., etc. Have you ever asked yourself why in the hell do all those bishops wear all those fancy robes? How much money it must cost to make them, clean them, etc., etc.? How about all those fancy church buildings? Have you ever seen those churches opened up during the week with sleeping bags or blankets laid out for the homeless? All those buildings have kitchens, and toilets, and showers? How many do you know who open up their private kitchens to cook for the homeless, or give them baths?

I remember one time my mom needed to get into the church to get a cookbook. She had used her own time to published all these cookbooks for the church. She never got one dime from them. It all went to the church. She couldn’t get into the church because it was locked. This really upset her because up until her late 40’s, she’d never encountered the church doors locked! It upset me, too. I remember when those doors remained open and you could go sit and pray any time. Look at Olsten and his mega church…have you seen the pictures of his mega mansion? How many homeless people do you think he puts in those buildings? He’s of the world. Fake. So are all those churches. They are all of the world.

How many parents allowed their kids to spend time at the church because it’s ‘of God’ and their kids would be safe? How many of those kids were raped? You put any priest, Rabbi, pastor…whatever…in front of me, they get to sit on the floor…no exceptions! Why? for you have only one Master and you are all brothers….that’s why! They are no better than any other person. And today, since every single person can get their hands on the word of God. We don’t need these leaders! Their positions in biblical days were established because there were no printing press. Today, printing press. Personal responsibility and accountability.

When you tell me you don’t have a Bible in your house…of the world! Don’t come at me with, ‘I go to church every Sunday.’ You are controlled and that’s exactly what the churches want! You have access. You have responsibility to God and for your own damn soul! The worse thing to witness is a person in their 40s still not owning their personal Bible, expecting to be spoon-fed. Guess what? Hypocrites! The prince of the earth knows what to do with people like this!

I could go on and on because of the Catholic church alone. Their headquarters are in Rome. Need I explain? The Jews crucified Jesus. The Romans tortured HIM! And you praise in the church that they designed! Your church books are NOT the Bible! Their begging for money…this ROMAN church is the richest entity in the world…their fancy robes and buildings…they have how much money in the bank? Yet, there are starving people in the world. Yet, there are people living in boxes. How many Roman catholic priests raped? And for how long? Hundreds and hundred of years. How many women have they hung and killed? Thou shall not kill! You are fools for giving them one dime! You are hypocrites for even sitting in one of their pews!

One more thing about the Catholic church: They call their priests ‘Father’…isn’t that something!

And that is just one of the many man-made religions! Sad!

False Religion Condemned—‘Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are.’—Matthew 23:13-15

NOTES: Do you understand this? Jesus says it again and again…those of the world are not of God. Those who put themselves in charge of churches, my!, they will have it hard…by the tests God sends! Their hearts must be the purest. And God knows what they will do. It’s their choice to hear, see…it’s their choice!

Most of these big churches don’t give you the full Bible. They give you pieces of it. That’s why it is your responsibility to find your Bible and read it yourself! Nothing much has changed since Jesus’ day on earth. All these fake preachers in their $500 suits and $1000 robes. Get real! Why are you buying into this crap? Pay attention because it is your responsibility to know the difference between good and evil. It is your responsibility to sound the horn!

I watched the videos put out by these false religions. I watched those preaching in their fancy clothes and I saw all those people sitting in those really comfortable seats in their fancy clothes. I listen as they brag on all the good they’ve done. Overseas! I can’t tell you with honesty that what they showed on their videos is true. If it is, those countries are cheap. The labor…they pay cents a day for what people make in the U.S.A charge $10 or more an hour. They use cheap materials. They use the poorest of food choices. They preach sacrifice for God while they are dining in restaurants that charge over $50 for a meal! They are preaching sacrifice for God while just the cologne or perfume they wear cost over $50 a bottle and they are using cheap labor and such! Hypocrites!

There are women being raped and killed around the world…are they helping? There are little children being kidnapped every day and sold into slavery as sex slaves…are they helping? Oh, hell no, they want to rape, too! They want to beat, too! Look at the middle east…do you know how they treat women, God’s gift? That right there should show you that their religion is not of God. Yet, how many are converting to their craziness, their bigotry?!

There IS only one Christ! There is only one Bible! There is only one God! And HE does NOT condone killing in His name! There aren’t any virgins waiting in heaven because you don’t have sex in heaven! You don’t have a flesh body in heaven! Idiots! You don’t shit, piss, eat, drink…you have zero needs in heaven! That’s in the Bible! Not in those exact words, but it’s in the Bible. Those who believe that seven-virgin lie…to the pit! GOG!

Legalism Condemned—‘Woe to you, blind guides! You say, ‘If anyone swears by the temple, it means nothing; but if anyone swears by the gold of the temple, he is bound by his oath.’ You blind fools! Which is greater: the gold, or the temple that makes the gold sacred? You also say, ‘If anyone swears by the altar, it means nothing; but if anyone swears by the gift on it, he is bound by his oath.’ You blind men! Which is greater: the gift, or the altar that makes the gift sacred? Therefore, he who swears by the altar swears by it and by everything on it. And he who swears by the temple swears by it and by the one who dwells in it. And he who swears by heaven swears by God’s throne and by the one who sits on it.—Matthew 23:16-22

NOTES: Which is greater: the gold, or the temple that makes the gold sacred?…the body is more sacred then what you put on it, yet you put more money into what you put on your body than what you put in it…not just food and medication, but in spiritual food. That spiritual food determines what you see. Since I’ve been in Vegas, I’ve heard all sorts of lies! Amazing lies. All this awakening…I understand what it means to truly be awakened to my spiritual guide and the Holy spirit. I know what it feels like. I know what happens within the process. I know the battle that takes place. It is nothing like what these people are claiming.

So, I wonder: What the hell are they awakening to? I can only guess. I’ve written about this over and over. It is truth. All these blond haired, blue eyed kids here in Vegas that suddenly have all these gifts. They don’t. They are lying. What I witnessed…their gifts aren’t of God. So, be careful whom you believe. Lies are so easy to believe. And guess who is in charge? God, of course. He allows the prince of the earth to roam and seek. If it’s time for your test, He’s got those already picked out to cross your path. You have to understand the difference in the good and evil. He will send evil to you. I went through this. Some of these are messengers…meaning He sends us messages through them. Hence, in my testimony, His use of the witch. In Jesus, you need to be solid.

Which is greater: the gift, or the altar that makes the gift sacred?…You would be the gift…the altar is GOD! He’s the all…if it wouldn’t be for Him, you wouldn’t be. Notice how Jesus pretty much starts small in His teachings, then goes big or deep, trying to get them to understand. All in all: God owns everything. Hello! And you go about your life, that He gave to you, and you throw Him away, you don’t respect HIM or His Son! Who are you to do such a thing? Really! As far as the Jews, they are just hypocrites, to this day, and everyone else who believes in nothing, false gods, false religions…silly…to the pit unless you change your ways! It’s not too late. I’d get busy! Eternity…just remember that word. Let it sink in…nice and deep!

Injustice Condemned—‘Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices―mint, dill, and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law―justice, mercy, and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.’—Matthew 23:23,24

NOTES: Yeap, still so today. People are more worried about money, about reputations…that ‘oh, what are people going to think?’ syndrome has got you so hard by the balls that it’s paving a road of gold right to the pit of hell! And the sad part…you don’t even care! You think you are badass sleeping around and shit. You think you are badass gossiping and tearing people apart. You think you are slick hiding your dark secrets, your lying, your manipulation, your greed. Honey, you ain’t fooling anyone. God is right there! WATCHING!

Sure, we all go down to sin. That’s the whole point of the resurrection. God’s testing your heart to see if you are worthy of the inheritance. You go down to the darkness. You experience the five stages of grief. The bargaining stage is where you get a small break…something is put in front of you to help you forget your reality for a while. This IS where sin comes in! The biggest test of all! This is where you hit all the points that are teaching you what sin is. This is where the strength is being built. But you DO NOT stay there! A lot of people say, ‘fuck it,’ and dwell there the rest of their life. Do you know why? Because they don’t ask God for help with sincerity. Instead, they play around thinking no one really knows how they feel. Yeah, right! God knows everything…hence, you are staying down! Wake up to the reality. You have got to fix your heart!

Hypocrisy Condemned—’Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisees! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.’—Matthew 23:25-28

NOTES: This is Jesus speaking…Nothing much has changed! He repeats the same thing over and over in different ways. He’s saying that they act all good and all, but under the skin, is a whole different ball game! Then when they are called out on their lies, they crucify the one calling them out. The one sounding the horn gets ignored. Those stuck in that wickedness condemn in their silent little world of ignore…ostracism….their modern of crucifixion on the cross. They ignore and talk about the innocent behind their backs. Don’t worry: God’s coming to do away with their hypocrisy. They are going to be turning around soon. They are going to see the truth. They won’t have a choice in this see. Don’t worry: I’ll be there when it’s time! God’s already told me what I’ll need to do.

And this is what you’ll learn from me: Fix your heart! It ALL starts and ends with your heart. When your heart stops beating, they document Time of Death! Not your brain. Your heart. Your heart pumps the blood throughout your body. Like your heart pumps your emotions away from your body and all around you. If you don’t have a good heart, you are pumping bad shit out around you. Don’t you know God knows this?! You have got to clean what is inside of you. So if you have envy, hate, jealousy, anger, greed, lust, laziness, manipulative tendencies, grudges, etc., etc., you have got to figure out why and get rid of it. Those are marks on your heart and they add up, Honey. That’s not good.

You can look so pretty. You can have such a handsome face, sexy body. You can wear the best clothes. Oh, your style can be so fashionable. You can drive the hottest car, live in the nicest home. All that puts together a nice presentation, doesn’t it? And still, you have all that I listed above in your heart or just one, you are a walking dead person! Straight to the pit. It’s time for some redemption…get ya a little salvation going on!

Persecution Condemned—‘Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You build tombs for the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous. And you say, ‘If we had lived in the days of our forefathers, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets,’ So you testify against yourselves that you are descendants of those who murdered the prophets. Fill up, then, the measure of the sin of your forefathers! You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell? Therefore I am sending you prophets and wise men and teachers. Some of them you will kill and crucify; others you will flog in your synagogues and pursue from town to town. And so upon you will come all the righteous blood that has been shed on earth, from the blood of righteous Abel to the blood of Zechariah son of Berekiah, who you murdered between the temple and the altar. I tell you the truth, all this will come upon this generation.’—Matthew 23:29-36

NOTES:  we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets,’…yet…they murdered the ultimate: The SON OF GOD!

Nothing much has changed here either. Mainly, so many actually think God isn’t real. Yet, He created them! How this happened? Man and the prince of the earth….that’s how! God sends His prophets to help you. But you don’t see that. He sends them to tell you the truth, but you don’t want to believe them. So, you crucify them one way or another. How can this be?

In my personal world, I’m being persecuted by my very family because I say what God tells me to say. Oh, is it because I cuss, smoke cigars, had a colorful bargaining stage…therefore, I’m NOT qualified to be a prophet?

Let me explain something to you: We don’t audition for the damn part! We don’t apply for the damn part either! We are chosen! If He says you’re a prophet…you’re a prophet! I said, ‘I’m not a prophet,’ so many times…’til I heard this deathly, echoing voice, ‘YOU ARE MY PROPHET!’ I know what God is capable of. If He says I’m His prophet, I’m His prophet! If He says I’m the fucking meter-lady…you bet your ass, I’m going to be the fucking meter-lady! What part of this don’t people understand?…This completely blows my mind!…the ignorance of it. And they claim to know the Bible, know God, know Jesus? They are blind! They don’t know one damn thing!

Is there that many people out there saying they are God’s prophets? I don’t know. If so, can they prove it? Are we supposed to have some kind of miraculous deal happen to us in order to be some kind of officially-deem prophet of God? If you are counting on a life of righteousness, sorry, there is NO such thing! Maybe all the prophets who came before Jesus where righteous, but Jesus changed the playing field. He came for the sinners because God got tired of those He called His people. This is why Jesus chose sinners to be His disciples.

God chose Paul. Did you know that? Paul was the Saul in the Bible who persecuted and voted for the killing of Stephen the prophet. God put scales on his eyes and sealed them until he went to Peter…then when the scales fell off, he could see. I know what that sealing feels like…stings and burns…there’s nothing like having your eyes held tight and you aren’t doing it! But that’s for another writing.

God doesn’t too much like His prophets mistreated! He doesn’t like people falsely claiming to be messengers for Him either. Not at all. This I will talk more about and this is something you NEED to know! For the coming…what’s coming…is going to change a LOT of things!

Lament Over Jerusalem—‘O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing. Look, your house is left to you desolate. For I tell you, you will not see Me again until you say, ‘Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord.’ (Psalm 118:26)―Matthew 23:37-39

NOTES:  how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing….He’s telling them that He’s always been around…He’s telling us that He chose this. He’s telling them that He’s God’s Son! That He isn’t new. Look, your house is left to you desolate. ….He’s telling them that they are veiled! He’s telling them they are failing God! They didn’t get this because their hearts were not faithful, for their hearts were filled with the bad shit! Understand this…God knows all! I can’t stress this enough.

For I tell you, you will not see Me again until you say, ‘Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord.’…Everyone preaches that Jesus is coming! Jesus is coming! They have all these signs in documentaries on Netflix. I want to laugh. How can you talk about something you know NOT one thing about? Answer this: Can a child walk up to a cobra and pet it and not get bit, or walk up to a lion and pet it in the wild? Do you see racism…that’s the cobra and the lion if you didn’t know!

Have the Jews accepted Jesus the Christ as God’s son? Eternity in the Pit…DAMN! That’s got to be really crappy. And there’s no rise from that until every Jew accepts Jesus in their hearts! All those on earth and all those in the pit! Do you see that happening any time soon? Jesus isn’t coming! A change in cycles is! God’s preparing for the new earth….a cleansed earth in case you didn’t get that either. All the lies out there. You’ll soon see! Eternity in damnation….what kind of stupid, ignorant person actually chooses that shit? Hello! Earth to Mars!

Widow An Example—Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling His disciples to Him, Jesus said, ‘I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything―all she had to live on.’—Mark 12:41-44; Luke 21:1-4

NOTES:  So, what are you willing to do? I don’t see rich people willing to suffer or even come close. I don’t see them helping the poor. As I wrote in The Good Samaritan’s Heart, those who actually make a difference by doing and giving with their own hearts have nothing. Why is that?

Jesus took notice of this woman. He knew what she had. Being someone awakened to hear God and Jesus and David, I can’t even imagine what Jesus heard. He knew what she had. He knew exactly what she gave. Faith. The woman had faith, hope. The wealthy had greed.

Today, it’s the same. God isn’t asking you to be poor. He’s asking you to walk the way! He’s asking you to feel the love in your heart and act upon it. I mean think about it if there are only four people in your family, why do you need a 5,000+ square-foot home? Really. Why? If you own a very large building, why are you afraid to allow the homeless in at night?

I know why. Because the big home gives you status…as does all the material possessions you own. You believe that respect…that which you get from others is far better than God…is far better than giving to someone who doesn’t have much. Oh, your friends wouldn’t do that! And, honey, that respect from those people whom you believe are your friends, isn’t real. They only pretend. Behind your back, they are gossiping about you, hoping you have trouble. You are living your life on the basis of the world…false beliefs.

Then it’s the other point of view…not helping someone who has less than you, seeing them as below you (proving you have bad eyes), judging them. Do you ever look in the mirror? Here’s the main point: YOU do NOT know GOD! And if you do NOT know God, how can you possibly know JESUS?! And you MUST know Jesus to get a piece of the kingdom! You have some work to do, Honey!

Each one of us is put in front of the other to test our hearts. So, if you see (in your judging eyes) a raged-out, bum on the street and you ignore, you failed the test. My fuck-you church…someone went as far as comparing the way I was speaking to a bum on the street. Judgment. You are failing!

On that big building you own, you think…they will pillage me…so I will not open my building to any homeless person. That’s what you are afraid of. You are afraid of everything in the world. Example: Insurance companies…oh they got you by the balls. Look at it this way: You pay these insurance companies (I have a car…I know) this set amount of money every month because they told you so, because you are afraid of losing your material things.

Yet, you pay ZERO insurance on losing your soul! What the fuck is that about? Your soul…eternity…is worth much more than things you can burn! What the fuck is wrong with you? Where’s your common sense? Oh, it’s lost in the material world of envy, hate, jealousy, etc., etc. And you are blinded to it!

Word to the wise: Eternity!