‘Bases for Virginity’

Drinking from His cup isn’t easy. Adhering to Satan, now that’s easy: drink it up, smoke it up, sex it up, lie, manipulate, deceive steal, kill, hate, argue, blame, judge, yell. Jesus’ cup: LOVE!

Bases for Virginity
 
I have bedded many men
I've committed this sin
that sin
but none to go above win
I've dipped my foot
in stealing
I've never been much
in dealing
or...others...mistreating
 
still...God's† hand
found its way
where ever I stand
 
down, down, down
to a pitted clown
even when I helped
all around
even when I gave
with a mind in sound
 
oh! the tears I've shed
oh! the pain I've bled
betrayed by the wed
‒humans in dread
 
that knife dug in
'til they thought
I was dead
 
abandonment was their hymn
out of sight, out of mind
with her away‒
she's the blame
of all of them
 
my anger grew‒
you understand
deception...I'm not a fan
money, power‒
I don't think that grand
 
everyone...at me...frowned
me...a different direction
bound
God† needed my feet
on the ground
He† needed to rebuild me
so solidly...I'd be found
 
He† pounded and pounded
my home, my family
my friends, my children
my dreams, my education
my experiences‒
all of it...He† did shred
 
pushing me
pounding me
blocking me
‒as I lay screaming
and crying
yelling and denying
my Father† kept disciplining
me
‒on and on
'til I wanted to rest
in dying
 
but He† wouldn't let me
He† placed guilt
in my heart
so I cried
'til I fell apart
again and again
piercing me over and over
with His† mighty dart
forcing my hand
to deliver words to man
for the Lord† to take
His† stand
where ever I ran
 
He† killed me
after building me
then rebuilt me
‒made me His† witness
His† pain lays
on my body
He† revels to me
His† plan
for a new history
then I watch it unfold
making me feel old
but His† love‒
I'm completely sold
for He† tore me
then put me together
to wane any weather
with a force making me cry
even wishing to die
for His† glory surrounding me
for His† power holds me
for He† has unscaled my eyes
‒unwaxed my ears
all my senses
are completely His†
 
but first...I had to break
not once, not twice
but over and over
'til I knew it was Him†
'til I knew my Father†
wanted me to write for Him†
not out of my imagination
but directly Him†
Tetragrammaton†
for I am in Him†
and He† is in me
so it goes with Jesus†
me with the Holy Trinity†
 
 

Notes: On Feb. 9, Rough Waters…Millions Will Die, a lot of things were revealed to me, but I wasn’t allowed to see them until about a week ago. The question mark (?) was in the sky several times that day, as well as the anchor and images of faces in the clouds. That was on top of the strong waves in the lake, which I had never seen before. Not that the lake has never been rough. I’m sure it has. It was just my first time experiencing it. How this came about is explained on the subpage. Just click the link and see all the things David pointed out to me.

02.09.2020.12.43.31
02.09.2020.12.43.31-1

(June 24)—I’ve written millions of words for you, the future, but the Lord wants me to still go deeper. He wants me to write what He does to me so that you will understand who He is in every sense of the word, every being of your body. I hope when my life ends and you are left with just the words I wrote for Him that I have done right by Him so that you may prevail.

Continue reading “‘Bases for Virginity’”

‘Kindle the Vexes’

God is telling us that those who see those who actually do wrong, don’t say anything. And if they don’t say anything, guess what? They are just as responsible for the wrong as the one who actually did it.

Kindle the Vexes
 
they look swell
above ground
they hide their sins
they horde their money
for it...to the death‒
they'll defend
 
there's something bigger
that'll make them
pull the trigger
it isn't anything to figure
except to them‒
a grave digger
 
shame, Oh, sweet shame!
what they hide
what they'll kill‒
to keep from eyes
their reputations‒
builds nasty little games
sex in the dark‒
those tiny, little dames
oh! maybe boys‒
they're so lame
whatever makes them
go hard
their fantasies
building scars

‒so comes in...the bard
 
to add gain
to their endless games
someone for them to tame
oh! how they like‒
their nasty, little games:
'suck, suck, suck
oh, my! feel him up!
now I have your shame
‒there's no one to blame'
 
they...oh! how they‒
forget the cell
which they are bound
no need...shackles to lend
'where they're going
no need honey
they won't even get meth
or cocaine, or weed, even
...just the pit‒
which isn't funny'
 
they surpass the grave digger
no need for them
no need to pull a trigger
‒it's all added up
in a higher ledger
 
oh, shame! sweet shame!
that dark place
they can't show face
if secrets are defaced
 
oh! bless me with grace
it's already taken place
 
their hearts‒
a microscopic aim
no matter their money
their direction‒
all the same
 
all their satan dinners
Allah†, Allah†, Allah†
always in charge
‒laughing all the same
 
malicious hearts will indeed
win the heated fame
trust in the Boss†
they will enjoy‒
a celebratorial flame
‒an eternal game
of seeing their desires:
their tiny, little dames
or their boys!
maybe a foot away
so close, yet so far
‒an itch they can never satisfy
an eternal 'please help me' game
 
so leave behind
worrying 'bout their kind
see the signs
‒your eyes
let Jesus† unblind
 
concern yourself with time
drawing the line
at sin's crime
‒and praying
desiring the kingdom
in kind!

Note: The photograph was taken on October 7, 2019…Faces. On this day, David pointed out the many faces that watch us all the time. In this picture, God’s energy. Most of the time it is a perfectly, bright green Orb. Then other times, He plays with me to show me that it is Him. This is His footprint! I have this imagine in quite a few frames. Some you can hardly see them, but they are there, especially over the water, and other times they are as perfectly noticeable as this. He also changes the Orb into figures like a cat, Ninja turtle, even a smiley face, which was in my car, revealing His love to play! If you haven’t sat down and scrolled through the thousands of pictures on God’s Mercy, you are really missing out on God! and Jesus!

(April 13)―I’ve had a lot put before me lately. Things that tear my heart into pieces. Child abuse. Child rape. Human trafficking. Things that were the onset of the ending of the last cycle. It is normal for the ending of every cycle. What cycle is that? That’s on God. The last cycle ended with a great flood. There were only eight people fit to start a new cycle.

They sacrificed people, children in fire before the end. Then it surfaced a bit as the new cycle rolled on, but God wiped each civilization out that did it. And you wonder why those civilizations have gone that are no more? God. The Romans were a bit slick, hiding themselves in a man-made church. They are the ones who continued the child sacrifice…but instead of direct fire, indirect fire. God has had enough. We are headed to the end of this cycle. Oh, it’s not going to be an overnight deal. We will see a huge shift. Our grandkids will see the war coming. And there IS a war coming.

Continue reading “‘Kindle the Vexes’”

‘Are You Tired Yet’

Are You Tired Yet’—I’m wondering how long it will take for you to answer that question! I’ll sit back and wait. The seed is planted!

Are You Tired Yet
 
aren't you tired yet‒
haven't you learned
from where comes
the burn
 
don't you feel
His† heavy hand
in firm
 
teaching you
wanting you
to learn
 
are your eyes
still blind
in wayward‒
held in adjourn
 
do you have
the will to fight
through all the mess‒
discern
‒from the wrong path
turn
all the false teachings
overturn
 
where are you
are you part of
the churn
wasting time
in germs
‒the right things
spurn
the wrong things
confirm
 
isn't if for hope‒
that you yearn
why then‒
do you mix...affirm
in things leading you
to an early urn
 
aren't you tired yet‒
His† words are stern
for calm‒
you haven't earned
‒you are just an intern
sit there, open your heart
learn
 
for you‒
He† is very concerned
so for Him†
don't sit there‒
squirm
open all your stops
see...hear
 
in all His† lessons‒
soak in
what He† wants you
to learn
 
then entrance
into the banquet
you will earn!

Note: The photograph was taken October 7…Faces. This is when David pointed out to me these faces. These aren’t those structural faces that you see in fabrics and things like that. This is WAY different. I would not have known they are there if were not for David telling me to blow up the picture and then telling me where to look. This is what was meant by the wheels, all the eyes, in Ezekiel’s first vision when he was called to service by God. God has shown the same thing to me in the  Four Disc Dream. These are the eyes that tell God everything! They are everywhere. Go to the page and check out what was revealed to us.

(April 9)—Two pieces came this morning. This one and ‘He† Warns’ which is about real prophets and false prophets. God has me working overtime! After I wrote them, I sat down to eat then something made me check my local store app to see if my grocery order indeed had gone through. The first time I did it, it didn’t and I didn’t know, and I’ve had to wait another week. I thought my order was going to be ready for Saturday. There’s a reason for everything! Nope. My order was ready today. Thank you David for putting it in my heart to check!

Continue reading “‘Are You Tired Yet’”

‘Trickle, Trickle’

I have read so much confusion, again something God has revealed to you through me, that it is ridiculous. But God tells me not to worry. It isn’t my issue. No it is not. If you don’t truly know God or want to hear what He has to say today, then you are missing what is going to come later.

 Trickle, Trickle
 
trickle, trickle
get a tickle
no need‒
get another's principle
let's be a wrinkle
maybe a freckle
 
trickle, trickle
out of the cradle
to the hospital
for a breathing bottle
 
trickle, trickle
two more with a tickle
soon hourly stays‒
build to more
than the middle
 
trickle, trickle
leaving behind principle
becomes regrettable
in parking lots‒
tents become normal
 
trickle, trickle
months added by decimal
more in wrinkle
‒black bags numerable
 
trickle, trickle
running around little freckles
four months in the cradle
maybe it's time‒
turn to the bible
‒no one's at the funeral

(March 20)―These sets of numbers were put before me today: WWI 1914-1918: 16 to 40 million causalities; Flue Pandemic 1918-1919 50 to 100 million causalities; WWII 1939-1945 70-85 million causalities (3% of the 1940 world population!).

Interesting isn’t it? 100 years and we face another pandemic. The 1918 pandemic was basically caused by soldiers coming home from the war and spreading it. Look at those numbers! Then there are other wars: Vietnam, Korea, then local wars where the numbers were extremely high and I’m sure all medical personal did the numbers and wrote tons of papers on the numbers.

The 100-year itch! Where death and carelessness and greed bites everyone in the butt! Theirs is no denying any of it. I watched the U.S. President’s speech today. Where was God in all of that? Is all of this an institutional study for academia and the medical and political fields? I really don’t think so. I think they are just as worried as everyone else. This isn’t the first time of a pandemic, but it is the first time the world…all nations…come together.

Continue reading “‘Trickle, Trickle’”

‘Rippled Sadness’

‘Who has helped you utter these words? And whose spirit spoke from your mouth?’—Job 26:1-4

Rippled Sadness
 
thinking back
things that were done
words said
people lost in their head
–those welcomed
in that I-thee-wed
the same–
who caused the hole
in this back
–all that blood
it bled
 
all their lies
all the answers–
that answered the whys
be careful–
oh, so careful
the truth
aids in your die
–no longer wishing
to look in eyes
that once
you gave all your time
 
it's not those words said
in your mind–
making them dead
it's their actions–
what they did
–with an ax
hit you over the head
the same–
what their actions fed
 
it all makes you shy
way deep inside
to forgive them–
not even a try
it's a do
something you must abide
 
but to set time aside
for their cry
would be matters for God†
mercy given–
by His† sigh

Note: The photograph that accompany’s this work was taken September 27…Love from Heaven, where God and Jesus and David send a lot of love to me as I was battling this transition of opening up fully to being God’s messenger. The symbols are amazing and I haven’t yet had anyone who can duplicate these and/or disprove that they are indeed from God. They remain as always a mystery! For God is a mystery and anything from Him, the human brain has a hard time understanding. Here’s a note to your human brain: These are from God!

(February 25)—I have been dwelling on my life lately, just a little bit. This morning I woke up early and laid there in bed with this odd emotion and thinking of my family. Specifically my sisters. It’s been three months since I discovered their sin and I’m still in awe of it. I laid there thinking of that. When I finally picked up my phone because I couldn’t go back to sleep, it was 5:33 a.m. I knew God had something for me to say.

Continue reading “‘Rippled Sadness’”

‘The Puzzle’s End’

When God wants you, He will shake your world up! And He will keep shaking you until you get the memo, ‘Hey dude, I’m calling you, answer the phone!’ It steadily rings until you DO pick it up!

  The Puzzle's End
 
so young
so in between
–living and running
fast-paced scenes
 
knowing this
knowing that
putting it all together
in fact
not knowing
it's all a trap
–in will come
the collapse
in physical or in mind–
the hands will clap
they'll stand a little
for that
–then you'll see
only their backs
obvious or not
it'll happen...count of that
 
you'll question
all in your habitat–
where you once felt
the autocrat
–sometimes the bureaucrat
–even the true diplomat
whatever format
–your knowledge–
the smart-ass cat
was all that
 
then you fell to rat
on the ground...splat
or against a wall...splash
 
all you knew crashed
leaving you lost
in a unquestionable gasp
 
it's when you see the vast
–after that sudden ask
–like it was a forced task
but it happened so fast
yet so slow in contrast
 
it's when you recognize
this upper-class act
this thing beyond
just a simple glass
it seems‒
a I-don't-want-to-let-go mask
but it's not at all...a mask
it's an all-around broadcast
–you know, but you don't
you think you're in trespass
but you're not an outcast
so how can it be that
‒it's a different hourglass
catching you in pizzazz
 
it's when you understand
the acrobat
simply doesn't swing
but glides with hands clasped
around their back
 
it's knowing your mind
was kidnapped
but now it's back
–you no longer live
in a man-driven syntax
no need for a polygraph
 
you now hear the phonograph
although...it's not a phonograph
you just know the path
like knowing truth about this
and that
like spacecrafts, even witchcraft
it's now above all that
 
it's knowing–
you can know that
then not know that
it's knowing–
you can see that
or not see that
it's knowing–
you can hear that
or not hear that
 
it's just depends on
where you're at
–your journey's path
 
it's understanding–
not being mad
accepting–
knowing who can change
all that
‒with a wind's simple laugh
 
that's when you've crossed
the graph
from ignorance in testing
to knowledge in wisdom
 
there's a path
–you will enact
you will react–
adhere to the telegraph:
 
stay on the raft
however hard the path
it won't last
if you fall off–
get back on the raft
it will pass
deal with the riffraff
–the wiretap
question...ask
it will all pass
don't get off the raft
whatever sass–
stay on the raft!

(February 24)—This was written on January 3 of this year, my 51st Birthday! I spent it alone. In fact, against my will, but I understand it now, I’m working on spending an entire year by myself! Something I’ve been wanting to do for a very long time. No more codependency! God is awesome! No more need for a man in my life. I don’t even need my family. Just me. And this awesome experience with the spiritual world. And birds! Twice a day, they come to the trees outside my apartment and hold meetings! They commence all at once and then they adjourn ALL at once! It’s really interesting and beautiful!

Continue reading “‘The Puzzle’s End’”

‘Careful Watch’

‘…judgment and justice have taken hold of you. Be careful that no one entices you by riches; do not let a large bribe turn you aside. …’Job 36:16-21

 Careful Watch
 
He's† taken the chalice of my womb
sent it away
He's† taken the depths of my knowledge
stripped it and remade
He's† taken the love in my heart
succumbed it to death
‒strangled it in plea
forced me into bleed
 
He's† forced me to see man
the depths of his heart
from the agonizing of sin
as he pillaged my soul
to see breaks of beauty within
 
He's† taken my pride
emptied its glass
He's† smashed my vanity
revealed how beauty doesn't last
 
He's† placed His† hands on me
holding me down deep
'til all anger seeped
‒as on my bed...I selfishly wept
He's† forced me to see
depths of insecurity
every seam of my body
‒forcing me to look at it
in sincerity
 
He† strangled my throat
stripped me of my prideful-laden coat
He† put strips of silver in my hair
lowered my cheeks
‒keeping me from smiles
as I laid down to weep
 
He† sent rivers to my eyes
He† laced me with horrible scenes
‒revealing man's discrepancies
truth in what he denies
‒right before his very eyes
 
He† brought pain to my heart
as I listened to man's lies
‒lessons from He†
forcing me to see‒
the depths...inside of me
 
like the thunder in the night
He† forced me into fight
turning me inside out
struggling through a blind man's sight
 
He† waged His† war on me
taking me from a marsh, soggy land
to a desert's broken sea
He† swarmed me with locust
He† opened up the lion's den
devouring me down to bones
covered in a blanket of skin‒
not seeming my own
‒lost and unsure
of where I belong
 
He† singled me out
forcing me to see man's empty clout
He† filled me again with knowledge
put a strong whip in my hand
slashing a worded belt
pulling empty judgment
from man's mouth
 
He† forced my body in paradise
striping this mind
with His† roll of the dice
‒using my voided, naked body
as an eagle grips a helpless bunny
He† took my heart and mind
drawing out evil in kind
‒as I crossed every line
 
―†―†―
 
His† power is beyond
anything known to mankind
He† can force us to see
what He† wants us to see
He† can force us to hear
what He† wants us to hear
‒nothing is beyond His† reach
it all happens‒
for Him to teach
 
man thinks he understands
man thinks he's reached
the depths of God†
man throws:
'listen, we can teach you'
'listen, let us correct you'
but man is wrong
God† controls every song
His† whispers are louder
than the lowest of sounds
His† eyes pierce the thickest of walls
 
man can not teach
where God† instructs
His† knowledge out weighs
any man's scale
His† abilities are beyond
any notion of achievement
 
He† can bring you pleasure
endless treasures
then in a swipe of His† hand
destroy with a swift puff
of the sand
 
who can dispute
who can say they understand
 
who buries themselves in science
thinking they are in control
of their conscience
who can perform surgery
thinking they are in control‒
their knowledge is their own mastery
 
who can build their wealth
thinking they rule their money
thinking they outsmarted
the one and only Creator†
 
who bows down to statues‒
man's endless idols
thinking praying to them
will grant their request
thinking God† doesn't see
their devotion to idolatry
 
who controls industry
thinking they themselves
came up with the designs
came up with the formulas
came up with the ideas
who writes a book
who sings a song
who acts in a play
who plays an instrument
who dances a dance
who paints a picture
who mothers a child
who marries a wife
who does any type of art
‒any type of skill
thinking they rule their nest
thinking they are excellence
‒above all the rest
 
lost sheep
in a blind man's sea
‒not looking at the truth of He†
 
the Artist† of artists
gives you the heart
‒you have a responsibility
through this given creativity
 
He† puts it all into motion
from the slightest of movements
to the biggest of bangs
from the slightest of whispers
to the loudest of declarations
ALL...at the mercy of His† hands
 
—†—†—
 
SEE in ALL things‒
God† created
‒there is nothing
that does not belong to Him†
 
He† sends the good
He† sends the bad
 
ALL answer to Him†
 
who can say
tomorrow will be theirs
who can say
their lamp is good
who can say
they are seeing in careful watch
who can declare righteousness
through anger and hate
 
SPEAK UP! ANSWER!
 
He† gives knowledge
where knowledge is due
He† gives wisdom
where wisdom is due
He† will give, He† will take away
He† will veil‒
seal your mind
seal your eyes
seal your ears
when He† needs to move you
when it's time for you to prove
the depths of your heart
 
He† will send in hard love
He† will challenge the depths of you
‒see what lies deep in your heart
He† will shake you
He† will rattle you
He† will put before you
what your mind cannot conceive
 
when He† calls you
He† will seek you
when you turn on Him†
He† will darken you
until you answer Him†
until you blast open your heart
until you face your self
 
that's
that's
 
the mercy...God's† help
 
that's
that's
 
the reveal in judgment
‒the love of a Son†
coming in‒
 
for only then
have you opened your eyes
in careful watch‒
you see truth all around you
you become aware‒
those blankets in deception
that try to again steal you
‒absent is hate and angre's drool
for Jesus†, you become the fool
LOVE...LOVE is all around you
 
that's
that's
 
when true knowledge awakens
you become just a child
your Father† tested you
your Father† challenged you
‒you've learned...at last
how to win your prized key
 
by the force of heal
from wounds buried deep
‒what God† wanted you to see
destroying the shame
that kept you in captivity
 
that's
that's
 
when you are totally free
‒no fear to see
for you surrendered
to the ultimate Holy in See†!
Continue reading “‘Careful Watch’”

‘Each Time’

God is NOT a religion. He’s everything. What part of this you don’t get? Jesus is Love! Working for them is hard. People will condemn you. The pit for them!

 Each Time
 
I don't have to write
what I feel
job already spun that reel
 
job tells how you deal
he explains the real
truth...so many conceal
words...sewn up...sealed
 
that's not my drill
here's my only
needing thrill:
have I touched one heart
just one...I look around
–there is none
yes, I've found none
without a whisper
without even one word–
there's nothing to sort
easy...there comes no clutter
to even...with...bother

You've† removed
every single one
–gone
even my little ones
there's no one
so, what I have won
 
I question
You† answer
share...You† demand
help them understand
what's eating–
the hearts of man
 
still..no one
not one single one
 
each time–
comes Your† demand
take my knowledge
to this deceitful world–
take a stand
 
each time–
less I have
each time–
love...I get–
not even half
 
instead...sacrifice
at Your† hand
for woman and man
evil to withstand
but...they chalk it up
to wantings of fans
 
for penny games
the pit's national grandstand
putting everything about You†
into a circus of alien brand
 
each time–
You† ask of me: more
alone stands at my door
You† keeping me from them all–
society's beck and call

I appreciate the stall–
Your† love
throws me up against walls
for You† catch me
every time I fall
 
each time–
I ask for someone
still...no one
for I'm designed for a two
in a world
where there's so few
who to You†...are true
 
each time–
I ask and wait
each time–
tears You† bring
in sad songs
to sing
Continue reading “‘Each Time’”

‘Time to Pray’

It’s beautiful outside isn’t it? A peaceful time…give Thanks to God. For He is the reason it’s a beautiful day.

Note: The photograph that accompany’s this work was taken on October 15th. God’s talking. It’s simple. Listen.

 Time to Pray
 
don't bow your head–
mourn for the dead
they are now gone
you're still safe–
in your home
 
pray for your resurrection
pray for spiritual protection
 
lift your head

you are not dead
praise in solemn joy
in loud sounds–
raise your voice
you're given this choice
let your eyes moist
then look up–
not down at soil
–your life's not yet
in spoil
 
pray for happier days
pray to live the way
 
unite together
in these times–
join and gather
listen to your heart
instead of falling apart

all things done in darkness
shines again
with love and forgiveness
 
pray...it's a time in rejoice
pray in ease–
leave out bitterness' claw
–this is time to review
read over all the clues
make a choice in go
then let the heart grow
forget long ago
it's time to glow
–let love flow
 
pray in a unite
pray for the light
 
when all comes in fold
don't grow cold

see...as the sun peaks
there in...love sneaks
take time in weave....
pick up piece by piece
those living in receive

–leave those in decease
for all those gone...
Jesus'† wide open
for the receive

you who remain alive
know your body didn't die
open up...feel the vibe
don't fall to plight
so you too...will walk
in the light
Continue reading “‘Time to Pray’”

‘A Swayer’s Cup’

Truth: You say you write for the Lord, you hear the Lord, they say you are crazy, insane. You rape and destroy other people’s lives with lies and manipulation, they toast to you and say your a friend!

Note: The picture accompanying this work was taken on November 11th. The arrow and an Orb pointing out the avenging angel God puts in the sky.

A Swayer's Cup
 
I let it all happen
I did my thing
let them all ring
–the bells they joined
in cling
 
I kept going...ya know
doing instead of talking
–I wasn't going to stop
as they began their chop
 
it was slow...ya know
small disappointments here
large disappointments there
–I brushed it off
I had control of my hair
I knew the how and the where
–so no need...me...down...wear
 
I kept sucking it all in
as sickness halted me
–some kinda shit in my piss
got into my nerves
–hurt like a bitch
I just had to deal
trying to hide my hiss
 
this seemed 'a turning for them
all who called me family
and friend
it was a strange turn of events
'what did I do'
I kept wondering
 
pain kept sinking me in
no one could tell me–
how to win
there came a point
I just wanted to end
there was no one to help me
understand this fight
I was in
 
it just all became a rage
some sore of out-of-mind stage
no one came
no one believed my range
–me giving zero reason
just an illness-fighting season
 
pain slapping every angle
my skin on fire
with no one helping me
–not even trying
 
me...'a crying
maybe some whining
'what did I do'
to make everyone
me...gone in denying
 
then it all went exploding
a marriage in killing
down to total in zero
gone the hero
–adding to pain in feeling
came total confusion
–that which
there's no explaining
 
I went to that place
job wrote about in telling
down, down, down
not anymore
no use in fighting
 
they chopped me to pieces
all my moral standing
gone...no more handling
I let it all go
as anger...out of me
began its flow
 
no one understood
I was already
turned to wood
not even seeing
'what did I do'
no more diving
into books
–only my figure and looks
gave me a reason
in could–
sexing it all up
–just to feel good
 
a good christian life
didn't matter
I was thrown to the knife
cast down...like louella–
in her sin-lived life
 
there was nothing to do
but watch them all
undo
everything I'd accomplished
down, down, down
they all smashed
pushing, pushing
trying to force me
in crash
 
I surely stumbled
I sexed it up in humble
for a time...I wandered
even in gay
mocking an ex in disarray
for his truth...hidden behind
false in stay
 
I finally had enough
for myself...stood up
they all spit in my face
all in doings of betray
–using my life
as their punching bag–
I was crucified
stripped
of all my bright
 
house, friends, children
all my reputation
all my education
gone for the prideful stride
as down, down, down
went my buried life
 
'what did I do'
 
I went over and over
uncovered all the covers
I never stole
from any of them
never cheated, never lied
never betrayed
never killed or beat
–I wrote words on a page–
my life in a little bit of rage
 
I gave
I loved
I helped
 
even in mad–
I gave what I could
even in hurt–
I did whatever I could
make another life
soft, kind
–even in my anger
I never crossed the line
 
so me...they hate
speaking truth
living honestly
letting God† work through–
undoing all they glued
as He† wants me to work–
to better a life
for you
 
they hate me even more
closed...shut all the doors
me...not caring anymore
or wondering what for
for their lives...I prayed
–and mine…they stabbed
with a knife
 
so I raise my cup
I've had enough
I've educated myself
I've given 110 as a wife
I've stood the wall–
eleven years without strife
I've raised three children
worked, slaved without–
a husband giving
–as in the same house
we went on living
 
I raise my cup...to all–
betrayal...an evil whore's bluff
for God† pulled me up
–gave me strength
in enough
as they all showed–
their truth–
the wickedness of crud
–I walk in sway
maybe alone–
but I can honestly say
I hear the Lord†
I don't have to fake
 
I'm for real
the true in deal
for I didn't give up
when the devil thought–
I didn't get enough
of its...in the rear...fuck
 
that's right!
I'm in the sway–
a filled cup
of Jesus† love
–for I took His† crumbs
got the fuck up
drew in...with a deep suck
'I got this!'
I know I didn't do anything
to deserve this bitch's twitch
‒I'm so down with this!
 
yeah! I let out my sway
let God† fill my cup
kept my head up
even when I wanted
to give the fuck up
–for trusting in the Lord†
even with a broken heart
was me...being the bard
the writer of truth–
from the start
–a fucking swayer
with a God†-filled cup
rich with spiritual loot
all because I was true
–surviving the ring–
of evil-driven fools
 
now I know what to do
speak nothing but truth
the devil has no clue
of the power in God's† truth
–that which I share with you
so you'll know what to do
when that bitch
is allowed
to play with you, too!
Continue reading “‘A Swayer’s Cup’”