NOTE: Every word here is God’s message, not mine. I was to include how I feel and background information. Every link added here was by request from David to ensure that you KNOW that this is important. I’m also repeating myself again…this is very important. What I REPEAT, HE WANTS you to really know!
(October 4)—God’s time is not ours. I waited yesterday for someone to show up because I was told they would. (The numbers 3 and 13 played an important role in this event, so I was sure it was going to happen.) I cried because I felt betrayed when they didn’t show up by 10 p.m. I said my peace to the Lord, letting Him know I was not happy, even though He already knew. Then I fell asleep for the first time in a very long time without a sleep aid.
I was awakened at 3:13 a.m.! I realized they didn’t show up, but I wasn’t as upset as I was before I fell asleep. I realized that it was a test of my true knowledge, but I still cried a little more, said more of my peace, which isn’t that great, then went back to sleep. I wasn’t going to write anymore. I swore I wouldn’t accept this person back into my life if they did show up because the day was over, the chance was gone!
When I woke up for the last this morning, all those angry thoughts were gone. No matter what I think, I can’t betray the Lord. It’s just how I’m built. I went over all the things that transpired this past week, and realized I was used to test others and I was tested, as well, for my own good. It doesn’t matter what we think to ourselves or out loud to the Lord, we are still forgiven. We just have to forgive ourselves.
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