‘Colorless Birds’

A sample from Book 10

 Colorless Birds
  
 a failed adhesion
 ‒mixed hypercritical damnation
 of all the hysteria‒
 the misunderstood mystery
hundreds of years
 still shed tears
still darkened fears
  
 what was fought
so hard for
 it doesn't seem
we came too far
 even living
under the same stars
 color‒ 
keeps bringing us back
 ‒justice lacked
white...black
 heresy in a broken-down shack
  
 tackle the government
 ‒greed's endowment
 keeping
that stupid war's enlightenment
 taking it's very commitment
back to days of judgment
  
 where are the colorless birds
 ‒haven't you heard
that war ended
 in a blood-soaked swirl
 leaving this mixed-race girl
in a confused swirl
  
 ‒still an uneven world
lost in racial twirls
  
 we're still paying tokens
 ‒what was broken
 thought to be fixed
 ‒all should be mixed
 still backwards
the clock tics
  
 years and years
suffered pain
 what did we gain
 ‒it's just insane
 still playing
this black-white game
  
 didn't king die
for a simple dream
  
 to live in a time
where there is no color
  
 just people
where each other 
 given no time to smother
no matter skin color
 you're still my sister, my brother
  
 honoring a man's life
 doesn't give war the right
 to bury the dream
 ‒words he openly screamed
 leave hatred...difference behind
 to each other
be kind
  
 it's just time
stop banking on race
 look into each other's face
 see beauty's lace
   of God's† amazing grace

(October 20, 2017)—Can you feel it? The emotions of this piece. Each time I read ‘Colorless Birds,’I get thick in the throat. It was written April 15, 2015. That says a lot about change. How sad are we!

I watched a video last night about a brown boy (who I will name Tom) who was raised by a white mother. He never had any problems with the law. He was raised like I was raised. One day, he and a white friend was pulled over. He was searched first. The white friend had a bag of weed on him. Tom did what I would do. When the police began to search his vehicle, he asked to see a warrant. I know that police can search if in the moment there is probable cause. The bag of weed was. Tom did what any young person would do. It was innocent. The police gained up on Tom and beat him to almost death. I forget how many stitches he had to have after all was said and done. The other boy was not touched.

Another video I watch last night was that of another brown boy…man. He just pulled out of his driveway when pulled over by the police. He had to show license and registration. He kept asking what did he do wrong. Do you know what the police told him? He was pulled over because of his air freshener hanging from his rear-view mirror. Something we all do from time to time. The officer told him it was obstructing his view! I never got pulled over for such a thing. How is it obstructing our view?

Today, I sat down to continue my work and ‘Colorless Birds’ was the first work of the day to edit. The sweet man. I worry about him. I don’t handle my worry good at times. I handle it with anger. I’m not giving up on myself or him. No matter what I say. It’s just how it is. Society is fucked up in so many ways.

This isn’t just about the president now in office. This is about our government as a whole. They have failed. We should be ONE nation under God. They have slowly stripped us of God. We are divided. Only…only I’m in love with the other half…if that’s how you want to call it. Why all the anger? Why all the hatred? How does a person’s color change the way you see their heart? Or do you ever get that far?

Personally, I’m not going to let society dictate to me who to love or what to believe. I believe in GOD. I believe that everyone has the right to be loved. I believe that true abusers need to be dealt with. I believe that those who’ve experienced racism should be forgiven for their anger and loved, and showed that they are just people and their skin color doesn’t matter, it’s what they, too, believe that matters. I believe we bleed the same color. I believe we make babies the same way. I believe that we die the same way in that final moment. I believe Jesus did NOT believe in different…at ALL! I believe that unconditional love truly means that you love no matter what.

I may sound like a hypocrite and I have been called one to talk about unconditional love and then dismantle the only x I have. You are right to believe that, but you are wrong. I never wished the x to die. I never would do that. I never wished harm on him. I would never do that. I just called him out on his shit. There’s a big difference in all of that. If he was in danger and I was the one there to save him…I would have to give my life for him, would I? Yes. He’s still a human being. I’m not totally insane. Maybe half way…but only half way. In anything, my very first thought is what God will do to me if I do this, or do that? That’s a very heavy price going against what my Heavenly Father wants from me. That’s how we all should think.

I hope that all those people who hate because of someone’s skin color come to terms with themselves and what God wants from them before they die. That there is a heavy mark to wear on a heart. A burden that needs to be lifted.

All of our ways are different. Not just the color of our skin. You’ve all learned to drink from the same fountain. You didn’t die because of it. The same goes with shaking hands and hugging and loving. The only thing you do by doing these things is adding light to a darkened world. Do you realize how much light can be added if everyone thought this way? Wow! It would be so bright, we’d have to wear sunglasses all the time because the joy would be so loud!

I love you. You are a stranger to me. I still love you. You may hurt me and I may retaliate because I’m stubborn that way…but only for a little while because that’s just my heart. I may be bitter about some things. That’s okay. I’m a child of God and a work in progress…always improving myself for the love of everyone else because I want to. On the subway, on the bus, in the grocery store, in church, in the courtroom, on the train, on the plane, look around. Really look around. Take it all in, then take away the color. What do you see?

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