‘Under Skin’

‘Under Skin’ ‘Do good, O Lord, to those who are good, to those who are upright in heart. But those who turn to crooked ways the Lord will banish with the evildoers.—Psalm 125

Under Skin

I don't belong out here
I belong within
where there's no skin
where I don't have to bend
to fit in
where I don't suffocate
in a color
I don't...in...blend

I don't want
all this I hear
words thrown
hoping...in some way....
to win

I don't belong to this den
‒too many unaccountable fiends
trying to contend
some cause to defend
everything around‒
condescend
J...U...S...T
to fit in

I can't be blacken
caucasian or indian
not even amercian
not even a citizen
locked in some societal
endocrine

I don't belong in skin
I'm what's beneath
deep within

that place‒
where God's† been living
all along...given
what I've been desiring

I had to descend
struggle in abusing
lost in false traditions
listen to the screaming‒
all the manipulating
the lying
the deceiving
‒all that's done in wronging

to embrace the ascend
let Jesus†...me...apprehend
His† truth‒
totally comprehend

this color of skin
God† doesn't attend
so its completely assassined
fuck all these cold, slimy
amphibians
squirming around in
antihuman
that just brings around‒
acts in babylonian
‒all turned into romans
spread throughout the world‒
colors of skin contend

no, I don't belong in skin
I've been elevated within
what's seen outside‒
is for you in judging
‒fruit in rotten
hearts...malicious vixens
who have to win
instead of listen
to the true brethren
‒that of the kingdom

Notes: The photographs were taken October 15, 2019: The Phoenix. The numbers below the photographs are the time stamped on the photo when it was taken. The Angel. In the first shot, she’s making her way across, her arms are bent at her side. In the second shot, you can clearly see here. Of course the daisy sun and the orb. This day, as well as on other days, the signs are in abundance. Signs or code rather than images. This isn’t a joke. This is real. Play around with your imagined reality…what God has shown us will still happen. It still is.

10.15.2019.16.56.44
10.15.2019.16.56.45

(July 29, 2021)―‘Under Skin’ was written June 7, 2020. I didn’t think it would get worse. I was told this but I didn’t want to believe it: Skin, and all its shades, is given as our greatest test. Again I’ll say what I’ve been saying: You are all failing!

I get highly agitated when mentions of words like racism, prejudice, black/white, hate…I have been washed in such a way that this all screams: SIN! I don’t want to hear it anymore. Confusion has been set lose upon all humans, ALL HUMANS. If you are not open for the hear and are veiled to see truth, you will gallop within this confusion until hate rules your very core. Wherever God is taking us all, you will be on the side that condemns the innocent. I would be careful if I were you. That side may prosper on earth, but there is a place beyond. You will not prosper there.

Continue reading “‘Under Skin’”

‘Share Grace—Repent’

To repent and forgive ourselves and others is really hard, but a must and it takes courage and a warrior heart. Do you have it?

 Share Grace—Repent
 
it's all in how
you run your race
leaving behind
God's† grace
for the better
of mankind‒
changing their
backward's trace
relocating
their hidden face
to the onward‒
Jesus†-inspiring base
 
it's how you let
the pace
‒what you put
on your plate
then‒
what others add‒
for taste
‒it's up to you
in good faith
choosing what
to debate
recognize
evil's bait
what's merely
for the vase
what's meant
as a trait
what's inward‒
to lace
‒adding up
to hate
 
be careful not
to move‒
with such haste
it could all
add up
to common waste
 
if you veered
from straight
let evil drown
you in mace‒
it's not too late
‒change that fate
 
Jesus† is ready‒
to hear your case
‒you are never
a mistake
you just carried‒
on your shoulders
on your back‒
a bit of
heavy weight
 
stop putting off‒
stop the wait
‒evil likes to place
on you‒
an unsteady rate
its lying
trying to debase
‒deep inside
you are
a Jesus† mate
 
it doesn't matter‒
what...at all
you ate
‒dig in...regain
your faith
 
‒you'll find deep
in your heart and mind‒
combined
a bright, shiny ace
as you lose
pride and ego‒
move into
a repenting state
‒willing in semi-sedate
of your way
in meditate
 
opening doors
for Jesus'† way
‒forgiveness of self
for your grand entrance‒
in God's† heavenly gate!
Continue reading “‘Share Grace—Repent’”

‘Truth’

Racism, hate: Evil’s best friends. Don’t let it consume you!

A sample from Book 11

 Truth
 
liars seek truth‒
falsifying a life
without any light
 
manipulation...their due
cutting it on cue
‒without noticing
the coming dues
 
their belief‒
trying to convince you
all they do
true, true, true
backing them‒
there are few
 
their spots change
sending you to the loo
oh! what to do?
‒without cursing them, too
 
truth is truth
existing
no half truths
‒it's either all true
or just makings
of a waterloo
Continue reading “‘Truth’”

‘Disillusionment’

When politics blinds your truth!

A sample from Book 11

 Disillusionment  

she stood there shaking
what have I done‒
causing this imagined awakening
‒have I forsaken
forgive me, Lord†

ease this hating
 
in her silence
her heart opened
‒a simple token
what truly lived
in this here maiden
 
she watched them all
as the stones began to fall
‒to her knees
no longer...she felt tall
over and over
coming at her skin‒
little hard balls
 
then a sudden stall
stopped...silence
a mere moment
she recalled
 
the dust settled
her tightly closed eyes opened
upon her dress‒
tiny red splattered drops dribbled
her pain...tiny tickles
what...a blink before
it seemed a fable
 
her fear lifted
was this a gift
her sins shifting
to ultimate's forgiveness
‒this she did not know
but the sudden stop
she felt her heart unfold
 
cast your stone‒
if clean...your bones
 
she heard the voice
then the made choice
as all around
stone after stone
hit...not her
but the ground
 
silence remained
she still knelt‒
in blood stains
as shifting of feet
the sudden in retreat
 
silence...not daring
to lift her head
then a shadow overcame the red
a hand reached out
get up child
a mere whisper without shout
 
strength from Him† came
as her legs rose
her eyes did the same
 
His† light dried her tears
all became so clear
her heart felt clean
in His† eyes...she seen
truth's unending scene
her life redeemed
it wasn't a dream
‒pure and serene
forever...trust in Him†
she proclaimed
for the Lord†...by her side
remained
Continue reading “‘Disillusionment’”

‘Looking Within’

Men miss the point of what makes a woman special!

A sample from Book 10

 Looking Within
 
it's not to your treasures
you are bound
look carefully around‒
is your heart sound
 
quantity of possessions
do you measure
your worth
all your journey's identities‒
do you take pleasure
now...from your birth
is that the quality
your only creation
 
all your roads traveled
of life‒
are you still baffled
wishing‒
you were still
in the cradle
wishing‒
on no experiences
to tattle
 
is it no more a mystery
your back there history
 
for every lesson
comes a reason
for the next season

 
round and round
goes the merry-go-round
'til no more
you see the clown
never lost, never found
stuck in between
that round and round
not seeing the lesson
not rightfully sound
 
'til it comes from within
the stuck
always in begin
again and again
 
so sad at the end
feeling still in begin
Continue reading “‘Looking Within’”

‘Tradition’s Backfire’

You are NOT a girl! You ARE a woman!

A sample from Book 10

  Tradition's Backfire
 
they said
you're just a girl
this is a man's world
messing with my head
holding me back
in their dizzy twirl
 
I tried to push ahead
but esteem
they made me lack
on my butt‒
they'd just slap
ignoring my educated snap
putting me in dead
all those words
they said
 
but I don't go down like that
my mind...I discovered
sound
so much world
all around‒
I bounced back
learned a few facts
 
I got over their curse
learned new adverbs
set it all up‒
for a reverse
when they came at me
in their attacks
 
they said
you can't put it out
like that
you're too bold...too negative
you...no one will respect
they'll drop you

as a contact
‒see you as an 'old crab'

 
much more than that‒
from all sides
came their attack
 
my professional swirl‒
downgraded to just a girl
 
my mothering cap‒
smashed to the ground
with a raging man-ego trap
stripping me
of those I gave birth
 
my christian-wife-giving perk‒
crushed into dirt
as hands
around my throat...grasped
 
my daughtering burst
my sistering worth‒
taken, stripped, clasped
as man-driven pride submersed
fist to head‒
stripped 'til I was dead
 
I couldn't go down like that
my mind‒
put in the back
‒lost from sound
so much world
all around‒
on a different
leveling track
I bounced back
‒met their crap with crap
 
in sexual immortality‒
I did flirt
around edges of freak
I certainly did skirt
‒screaming, yelling, cursing
I explored my worse
from the depths of dead
completely lost in my head
over and over rolling‒
those words they said
‒all those lies fed
I did the dread
around every corner
I did tread
 
but I don't go down
like that
my mind...I discovered
much more sound
so much world
all around‒
I fell in their trap
but it's just fact
I bounced back
 
into a dim light
I emerged
ready...able
put up
my hard-core fight
as the light
moved to bright‒
breaking their holding-down trap
unveiling their curse
‒I moved into rebirth
learning my worth
what truly
sets my turf
 
I am a woman
not just a girl
my looks‒
just a perk
on my body‒
let your eyes flirt
‒all this framework
aids my intelligence
(the likes of brilliance)
 
yes...on my face
a slight smirk
 
out...I reemerged
this butt‒
yes, try and slap
see if I don't call out
your crap
 
this mind‒
try to trap
I'll come at you‒
out of this cave
like a bat
 
yes, it's like that
don't like it‒
down...sit back
sap
for I've learned my worth
bridges...I'll easily burn
say it like it is
this right‒
I've readily earned
 
and...I don't go down
just like that
my mind...I know
clearly...positively
sound
all this world
all around‒
I am bound
for, indeed, I bounce back
with the resistance of a cat
 
it's just fact
you...I'll come straight at
I'm 'all' that
and...that's just that!
Continue reading “‘Tradition’s Backfire’”

‘Hands to Hold’

Is race going to continue to rule your life?

A sample from Book 10

 Hands to Hold
 
you come at me
you're not discrete
bold...unsure
 
maybe there's a gun in my hand
maybe I've some contraband
 
or maybe I just like hands in pocket
or wearing my earphones in my car
so I can answer this here phone
for this car absent of bluetooth–
protecting me and you
 
or maybe you're angry–
having a bad day
I pass your way
through your veins runs hate
so I become your play
 
I'm just like you‒
generation after generation
passed through
without obligations
to changing the view
 
–it all seems like voodoo
we both–
not really having a clue
‒taking it upon ourselves
get off that dusty shelf
change the view
so our kids
won't suffer too
 
maybe I do have a gun
–anger raging in stun
do you see inside of me
my hard history
maybe my hand shakes
though you can't see
–you're so angry
not seeing what's at stake
 
maybe I did some drugs–
stopping the pain
keeping from going insane
but soothing I didn't gain
all looks like a game
emotions adding to more pain
 
then you come along
thinking I'm a thug
you want to cut me down‒
stump me like a bug
without knowing the deal at home
why I'm here–
a gun...all alone
 
maybe don't yell
talk...love–
let it swell
 
instead of jail–
lead my soul to help
without making me
hate myself
 
I, too, want peace
between you and me
 
maybe instead of arrogance‒
show understanding
compassion
 
I don't want a free ride
just a reason...inside
not to cry
 
I am tough
I've got muscles, tats
my life has been rough
–crazy and all that
it doesn't mean
I'm just stuff
to pluck
 
a handshake
a hug
 
–that just might be
enough
 
I'm a human being
I don't mean to sting
 
just a little bitter
please, your anger–
could you reconsider
 
look at me for me
God's† child
making my way...like you
through the miles
 
–the past is gone
this is now
together–
we can make it all
worth while
if we just remain calm–
approach each other
in mild
without death coming in fowl
Continue reading “‘Hands to Hold’”

‘Colorless Birds’

We’re all various shades of brown!

A sample from Book 10

 Colorless Birds
 
a failed adhesion
‒mixed hypercritical damnation
of all the hysteria‒
the misunderstood mystery
hundreds of years
still shed tears
still darkened fears
 
what was fought
so hard for
it doesn't seem
we came too far
even living
under the same stars
color‒
keeps bringing us back
‒justice lacked
white...black
heresy in a broken-down shack
 
tackle the government
‒greed's endowment
keeping
that stupid war's enlightenment
taking it's very commitment
back to days of judgment
 
where are the colorless birds
‒haven't you heard
that war ended
in a blood-soaked swirl
leaving this mixed-race girl
in a confused swirl
 
‒still an uneven world
lost in racial twirls
 
we're still paying tokens
‒what was broken
thought to be fixed
‒all should be mixed
still backwards
the clock tics
 
years and years
suffered pain
what did we gain
‒it's just insane
still playing
this black-white game
 
didn't king die
for a simple dream
 
to live in a time
where there is no color
 
just people
where each other
given no time to smother
no matter skin color
you're still my sister, my brother
 
honoring a man's life
doesn't give war the right
to bury the dream
‒words he openly screamed
leave hatred...difference behind
to each other
be kind
 
it's just time
stop banking on race
look into each other's face
see beauty's lace
of God's† amazing grace
Continue reading “‘Colorless Birds’”

Breaking Your Codependency….

…and Moving On To ‘Normal’

A sample from Book 12

That is the question that I had to end this book with. Going through the trials in life are hard. This year I had to face my mother’s death and the destruction of my three-year relationship, as well fight more health issues while being 1600 miles from all my family.

Codependency had still a hard grip on me, but the anxiety that I had fought through was just about gone. I would have to go through a forced intervention to figure out what the true medicine for codependency and all those negative thoughts were.

Continue reading “Breaking Your Codependency….”

Don’t Be Baffled By Today’s Politics!

A sample from Book 10

I don’t see why because they have been telling you how they are for years. I’m not as into the politics today as I was years ago. Things just seem to keep going in the down direction, and there’s way too many people arguing instead of doing.

I know in my own home the argument over politics was huge. Being in a mixed relationship didn’t help matters as all this black/white issues took center stage. I have never been a racist. I’m not privileged. This seemed not to register with my ex-boyfriend. It saddens me on how many people believe this B.S. There are many people who believe they are privileged. I’ve seen them. I’m glad I’m not one of them. What follows is part of the Introduction to my last book on politics, Book 10, in My 12-Book Series.

Continue reading “Don’t Be Baffled By Today’s Politics!”
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