Tag: authenticself

‘On the Ledge’

The Lion’s Den. What is it? It is a symbol as everything that God does in the Bible, before, during and after Jesus’ life. The Lion’s Den…God will bring us to strife to test us but if we trust in Him, He will bring us out. 

On the Ledge
 
Lord†, I'm standing here
Your† voice to hear
I'm doing this‒
so please control this fear
not of people or anything
of this world
but being alone, losing time
missing those of my own
for doing this work‒
I have nothing to give them
‒not even a home
 
my heavenly Father†
I know what You† said
You're† with me
and for me to not be afraid
I'm trusting
each and every day
 
and You† know what I'll say
anyway
going way deep inside here
looking at my deepest fears:
 
it's argument, strife
having to stand up...fight
 
it's pushing through
giving hard love
and trying to not be the fool
but knowing You†
and what You† need
us to do
 
it's having to break a heart
but keeping from
tearing it apart
so each piece can sort
‒healing can pullout
the deepest darts
 
it's being yelled at, cussed at
cursed out by someone I love
but not giving up
taking strength from above
‒using that as my glove
instead of pushes and shoves
 
it's saying truth
going against all traditions
pulling out secret formations
using every known Jesus† tool
to help heal and sooth
even if the one needing healing
is horrible and cruel
lost in the addiction
of traditions
that were never true
 
Lord†, these are my fears
these cause all my tears
 
and even through
these I fear
I'll get pass the tears
and even if I'm made
to feel queer
I'll do them anyway
‒help pave the way
their souls
not to be sheered
but instead cheered
as they enter
Your† heavenly gates
 
‒that is worth all the tape
all the anger and hate
all the moments in fake
 
that walk
that gate
 
changing a fate
living Jesus'† way
so they‒
the unhealed
are not late
for that perfect date

(August 19, 2020)―I was led to Daniel in the Lion’s Den after I wrote this. Amazing! If we go through hard and trust in the Lord, He will rescue us unharmed. I covered the story of Daniel in the Lion’s Den in Disbursement of Truth and The Lion’s Den.

The Lion’s Den. What is it? It is a symbol as everything that God does in the Bible, before, during and after Jesus’ life. The Lion’s Den…God will bring us to strife to test us but if we trust in Him, He will bring us out. There’s so many ways that God will do this and we just have to be prepared for them because they are going to come if we want them or not. This isn’t our show, this belongs to God and He will test you to see what you are made of.

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‘Undo What’s Done’

You are worth every bit of struggle. It is up to you to take those struggles and help others with theirs. That’s the meaning of being the body and Jesus† being the head. He† is with you. Never forget that!

 Undo What's Done
  
 you are His† son
 a tiny dot of sun‒
 that can wage wars
 beneath the stars
 from so close
 yet so far
  
 I feel it all‒
 deep inside
 ‒you have
 what it takes
 undo what's done
 ‒show the world
 your sum
  
 you are His† son
 larger than life
 cut by a knife
 bleeding deep‒
 from the inside
 ‒throw it, throw it
 far from your outside
 grow outward‒
 don't hide
  
 prove to Him†
 you are more‒
 than just a son
  ‒you are a light
 shining
 from a darkened sun

(Written September 25, 2019)

‘Pulling A Jonah’

Adhering to the Message!

 Pulling A Jonah
  
 you can run
but you can't hide
 upon you, lies God's† eye
 from one end to the next‒
 He† does not change His† tide
 He† remains the same‒
 in all colors of die
  
 no use in the pretend‒
 no use in loud or shy
 His† call to you to ride–
 to accept or to deny
 either way
you'll pay with your life
 eternity in die
 eternity in the light
 you choose
you have that right
  
 ‒that calling comes
from really high‒
 you can run
but you can't hide
 you...He'll† seek and find
 throw you in perils of life
 'til you accept with every sigh
  
 cry little birdie...cry
 He'll† wait
'til you get the right high
 bowing your head
reaching for the sky
  
 He'll† force your comply
 He† knows your heart inside
 His† calling
from within or outside
 important for the rise
 He'll† rage the water‒
 'til you submit to the cry
 then you'll see‒
 the beauty of the light

(August 13, 2019)―The things we do NOT listen to! Oh, my! Karen, you’re such a hard-headed child! Agreed! Agreed! The story of Jonah. That’s where I was led to this morning. I’ve written about Jonah before comparing it to the feeling of depression. That’s how I find the separate parts of each Scripture is: They tell us something different to each individual, but as a whole, the story of Jonah is much more powerful.

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‘What Says You’

I am woman and my faith is my Choice!

 What Says You
  
 defiance in its true nature
 reaches those too immature
 to know the difference
 ‒a veiled struggling creature
 avoiding words of the one
true teacher
  
 over two thousand years ago
 blood fell on hands‒
 those in the know
 as they began to sow
 deceptions made
of silver and gold
 dawning black hats and robes
 ignoring what Jesus† came to show
 choices of ignorance
they choose
 ‒God† released His† grasp
His† hold
  
 time slips in its venture
 here and there...new adventures
 ‒words remain
from the one and only teacher
 He† will come
without another lecture
 He† will come
in storms of weather
 they'll be no guessing‒
 go on being the hater, the abuser
 you won't have to wonder
 when it's time‒
 you won't deny
the presence of the creator
  
 so go on...go!
 be the reason
for destruction...hold
 be thoughtless and bold
 He's† coming!
 He's† coming
absent silver and gold
 He's† coming to decide‒
 who stays, who goes
 who rises, who He† shall behold
  
 152...a good number to consider
 ignore...it doesn't matter
 He's† never been the taker
 ‒a constant in giver
 lessons, tests‒
 giving all chances in reconsider
 now His† patience is on the damper
 time is over...in chatter
 get on your knees‒
 be the prayer
 change your heart
to the honest giver
 repent in matters of sinner
 ‒time in choose
is now on the ledger‒
 no turning back‒
 He's†  becoming the taker!

(August 8, 2019)—My spiritual journey is continuing. I’m not really ready to talk about it but I’m sure there will come a day. Today, I was led to Acts…pages that I never marked up. I have been questioning my journey lately. I’m a woman…as a former Catholic…I asked: I’m a woman. What authority do I have to talk about such things? I’m not kidding. The Catholic church has re-positioned the woman below man for hundreds and hundreds of years. I’m lucky to have finally had my eyes opened to their cruel injustice…truly against anything the Bible teaches!

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‘Men of Songs’

Understanding depression and the veils by-way of Job!

 Men of Songs
  
 I thrash out my complaints
 I take the hurt, the blame
 put it all on my shoulders‒
 knowing
through all this rough terrain
 not one showed sincerity
not one came
  
 so I let tears fall
like rain
 open my mouth
my worded train
 feeling alone, empty
worthless...plain
 wondering if I'm really insane
  
 I cast out my stones to You†
 ‒Your† broken little dame
 all these tasks
my life...so drained
 not knowing the final aim
 just take it all in‒
 the arrows of false names
 on invisible ropes...I hang
  
 told...life is but a game
 learn to play it...you win fame
  
 You† and I know‒
 that's not how it's framed
 life isn't at all a game
 You†...no one can tame
 someone so righteous‒
 You† easily cast in flames
 and that person
will never be the same
  
 when this heart
feels weak in faint
 I look at all my I can'ts
 I re-hear all those filthy names
 know...none of them...I ain't
 but I know‒
 I'm such a tiny piece of grain
 and the only fame
to be claimed
 is that of Your† sweet, sweet name
  
 I'm so, so tired
of being maimed
 so tired of lonely's strain
 what have I gained
 on this hateful, lonely lane
  
 I know it's part of Jesus'†
 each and every vein
 I'm so weary...feelings‒
 my work done in vane
 so, I call on you...Jesus†
 please take all my complaints
 straight to our Father†
 ‒pull me out
this agonizing drain
 forgive all my trespasses
 turn me over‒
 to at least one heart
who feels the same
 ‒a bit of hunger
a bit of tame
 to do works of good‒
 in Your† sweet, sweet name

(July 24, 2019)—Our mothers. Veils. Mercy. I’ve been having a hard time putting my thoughts on paper lately. It may not seem like it but it’s still true. I end up writing it in my head then when I sit down, the same thoughts that I had don’t come out. I didn’t want to write anymore. For the past week or so, I’ve been in a battle with my self I guess you could say. I’m tired. I’ve been doing this work for seven years now. I’ve been writing and teaching and learning for over 10. I’m tired. But I’m to keep going.

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‘Shelters From Storms’

Using our gifts the right way byway of Matthew! How do we discover our gifts? How to use them? How to multiple our inside wealth? Easy. Listen.

 Shelters From Storms
  
 take these gifts...give them more
 open, open...will be doors
 no more seeking to find
 say this is mine
 it shall be yours
  
 place bets on things
 instead of doors
 what's yours will be no more
  
 treasures are found
 in gifts stored
 open, open the doors
 heal from your sores
 be fierce...the power is yours
  
 take these gifts...do more
 help the needy, help the poor
 put life in their décor
 never asking what for
  
 open, open the door
 don't be the evil's whore
 take what you know‒
 take it and soar
 high, high...my little commodore
 what you wish...will be yours
 for without fear‒
 the Lord†, you adored!

(July 24, 2019)―There’s reasons for everything! Twice during meditation this past week I was presented with doors. The first time there were two doors. They were white and side by side. I went to open the door directly in front of me and it was locked. My team (I actually can hear them.) told me to try the other. I did. It opened. I was cheered. I didn’t see myself walk through this door. I just knew that I had entered. And the manifestation process began. The second time there was just one very large white door. I opened it and saw myself walk through it.

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‘Resorting Backwards’

Warnings For Today’s Society By-Way of Malachi. The message is clear. We can’t go on ignoring the signs, the Word. Okay, go on if you’d like. If you’re willing to gamble with your soul. Not your life, your soul!

 Resorting Backwards
  
 when they handed over
 what was not good
 teaching less from the law book
 not doing what they should
 only what they would
 bringing the wrath–
 a mighty Father's† gasp
 neither cry nor laugh
 not even an autograph
 in the back...He† was stabbed
 by those forgetting His† grasp
 –around all things...He's† wrapped
  
 that was back then...this is now
 ask, oh ask...how!
 the question of the hour
 did all gain wealth...power
 modern ways, productive days
 oh, how is it...how!
 all that's given–
 a turned step...completely backwards
 before Christ† came to move it all forward
  
 oh! the generosity given
 the law removed
 replaced by really simple
 not hard to follow the temple
  
 churches raping children
 building evil's brethren
 churches gaining riches
 while the poor sleep in ditches
 false gods in material
 ignoring the simple riddles
  
 backwards, backwards
 God's† anger...ignored
 for evil whores
 healing...not truly taking place
 greed building webbed lace
 politics...the only base
 that you're willing to face
  
 messengers...casted out
 as they tell you what it's about
 eyes watching...beyond the clouds
 as the Lord's† voice screams...out loud
 His† words...to many have mispronounced
 for a money-laced pouch
 stealing His† little ones–
 giving them to evil's crouch
 then placing blame–
 there's no one held to account
  
 hear His† voice, hear it loud
 His† warnings are sound
 you are playing around
 lost...not found
 the next coming–
 slowly coming down
 space your steps...on the ground
 figure which side
 you are bound
 then take a knee
 stop acting in clown
 God's† words...held sound
 the coming–
 as sure as the hound
 explosion will go your ground
 choose...choose
 which way you'll be bound!

(July 14, 2019)―My journey is getting more and more interesting. Two days ago, I wrote ‘Orchestrated Part’, about the veils and the Jews’ part in the crucifixion.

Reminder: I write what is sent to me. When the Bible plays a part, I usually ask, What do You want me to write today? or I just open the Bible and there it is! Very rarely am I told to close the Bible and reopen…though it happens; and sometimes when it is about politics, I close the book because I just don’t want to write about politics. This has been happening to me since 2013-14, so I don’t even question anymore.

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‘His Pickup’

Have you answered God’s call? He’s waiting on you!

 His† Pickup
  
 I talk to the air
 pretending someone's there
 –it's only fair
 since no one sees
how I comb my hair
  
 I go for days, weeks
in this brave affair
 feeling angels everywhere
 then I fall to despair
 acknowledging
no one's really there
 wondering
if anyone really cares
  
 I go until I can't
my hand to face in cry–
  
 this isn't fair
  
 too long I've been waiting
for the care
 working, doing
wanting someone truly there
 but...just surrounds me
thin air
  
 I get completely lost
in this temporary despair
 then...comfort arrives
out of thin air
  
 I was pushed back
and about to fall,
 but the Lord† helped me.
 the Lord† is my strength
and my song;
 He has become
my salvation.
  
 revealing there's someone there
 someone who truly cares
 waiting, fighting there
 waiting to become fully
before the Lord...bare
 dealing in past affairs
 –having courage to dare
  
 shouts of joy and victory
 resound in the tents
of the righteous;
 the Lord's† right hand
has done mighty things!
 the Lord's† right hand
is lifted high;
 the Lord's† right hand
has done mighty things!
  
 victory is every where
 I can feel I in the air
  
 I will not die but live,
 and will proclaim
what the Lord† has done.
 the Lord† has chastened me severely,
 but He† has not given me
over to death.
  
 I know all won't be lost
in despair
 I know there will be saved
so many little hairs
 so I basked in this empty air
 as...taking place
the attended affairs
  
 open for me
the gates of righteousness;
 I will enter
and give thanks to the Lord†.
 this is the gate of the Lord†
 through which
the righteous may enter.
 I will give You† thanks
for You† answered me;
 You† have become my salvation.
  
 all things will be fair
 as comes...the perfect affair
  
 the stone the builders rejected
 has become the capstone;
 the Lord† has done this,
 and it is marvelous in our eyes.
 this is the day the Lord† has made;
 let us rejoice and be glad in it.
  
 seeing truth...so there
 I anticipate
with welcoming flair
 I know this heart I wear
 –out of pure despair
 comes a star's brilliant glare
  
 o Lord†, save us;
 o Lord†, grant us success.
 blessed is he who comes
in the name of the Lord†.
 from the house of the Lord†
we bless you.
 the Lord† is God†,
 and He† has made His† light
shine upon us.
 with boughs in hand
join in the festal procession
up to the horns of the altar
  
 in bowed head...I do declare
 life is as it should be–
 it's not in the tear
 but in the solid of repair
 that God† reveals
His† humble stare
  
 You† are my God†
and I will give You† thanks;
 You† are my God†
and I will exalt You†.
 give thanks to the Lord†
for He† is good;
 His† love endures forever.—psalm 118

He’s Waiting On You!

(July 5, 2019)—I haven’t written in a while…been busy with the testimony of my recent events, which has proven not difficult, but more of a soul-searching deal that’s taking me nearing over a month now to work on. It’s okay. I have plenty time. There’s never a rush for things these days. In due time, they do come. But I have been working diligently and long hours. I went to bed at 5 a.m. this morning and woke up at around noon to people asking me if I felt the earthquake. No. I’ve been busy.

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‘Channel’

Don’t change your independent self because of another person.

 Channel
  
 a bird flies when its free
 it stagnates
in captivity
 its colors blossom
in variety
 fading in ambiguity
 ‒plucking them out
in atrocity
  
 in nature...the act in free‒
 all the same
in its facility
 a trapping technicality
 ‒being free has its complexity
  
 as a woman
in her diplomacy
 giving true
to her effeminacy
 when treated
with significancy
  
 when she's satisfied
in her sexuality
 she falls into compliancy
 even in another's complacency
 giving up her self-sufficiency
 even her style in flossy
 being, at first
blissful in buoyancy
  
 as it goes...comes the decadency
 becoming aware
of the deficiency
 –a broken down fallacy
 as she meets each exigency
  
 outward...comes her adamancy
 as gone goes her sexy
 –an inward building pudency
 her usual controlled diplomacy
 loses its bearing
to rampancy
  
 as goes the controlling austerity
 saving-money hostility
 ‒slowly caving
in her impetuosity
  
 attention...gone its notoriety
 even her newly shaped nudity
 once praised with delicacy
 gone...with looks
words in vulgarity
 stripping
all her sexy naughty
 –leaving vagueness
in commonality
  
 lack of interest
opens a familiarity
 once ignoring
so much secrecy
 once ignoring the mendacity
 pulling forward
all its perfidy
 as gone...all her sensuality
 understanding
its diverted generosity
 she becomes lost
in recalcitrancy
 –the precious kitty lost
to lunacy
  
 all for giving her free
 to submissive captivity
 for the awakening
of her sexuality!

(May 9, 2019)―It’s funny how life repeats itself when we don’t learn the lesson the first time around. The funny thing for me is that I wrote about this before. I guess it pays to write about it again. The woman and all of her charm and personality has a way of turning into the woman her man wants her to be. Hold on before you scream: That’s not true. I do have a very good point.

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‘What Comes Out’

Anger: How changing this one emotion can change your entire life!

 What Comes Out
  
 she weighed
the things she's said
 ‒those retaliating words
 she weighed
the things she's done
 thinking it all hard love
 but it was anger
 ‒acting out
over another's danger
  
 what makes you do
these things?
  
 she pondered the question
 the only answer: retaliation
 she bowed her head
in confession
 responding to those living
in secret
 putting her in the dark...deeper
  
 she weighed
her lost of control
 ‒all man things took their toll
 grabbing at her in hold
 her...letting it all
use her in bold
  
 anger's put her in the red
 shaped thoughts in head
 then actions without thought
 knowing the wrong
in every heart beat
 then came further heat
  
 she weighed
all these things
 knowing too late always rings
 seeking truth
sets off anger in sing
 it's her life
not just some fling
  
 she sighed just a bit
thinking these things
 anger's become a distraction
 at times
giving satisfaction
 ‒the evil whore's demolition
  
 she bowed her head
in greater confession
 this her greatest sin
 one...with‒ 
she no longer
wants to blend

 control‒ 
a fight she's determined
to win
 ‒using gratitude
from God's† den‒
 the only way to contend
 ‒be put in the light
from way deep within

(April 27, 2019)―There are 2 large garbage cans that came with the house I live in. When we first moved in, they were in the corner of the garage. The side where I park my car. My car door opens up to the wall side of the garage. I have boxes stacked in there, which I never unpacked also on the side where I park my car. About a month ago, we were told by the landlord that we had to clean up the backyard. After the winter, the pine needles and pine cones had added up. So, in order to make my job a little easier, I moved the garbage cans to the side of the house, inside the metal gate. Since, they were out of the way in the garage, I moved over some boxes, which made getting out of my car easier.

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