‘Ringing of Ears’

Humble. When you break, when you fall to your knees and feel shame leave your body, you aren’t afraid of people: No! You become afraid of the LORD!

 Ringing of Ears
 
it's been pushed
by the Lord†
 
'say what I† need you to say'
 
I dug deep
within my heart
 
'I can't...it's just too hard'
 
then He† stopped
the coming of love
‒taking flight
the wounded dove
 
so I sat...thought about it
 
'what more can I shift'
 
gave in...so here it is:
 
'whatever they say about me
whatever words run deep
it's the eagle that's going to seep
‒fall from its perch
send many to the hearse
 
it's not I...my little ole self
who has to heal
from the burst
 
the eagle has surfed
the wrong turf
out stretched‒
the hands of the Lord†
 
think...think with your hearts
the idol worship
has to end
the eagle has been taken
‒has become the fiend
 
go away, go away
my voice has to tell
no matter the yell
or who sends me to hell
 
the Lord† has His† grip
even if you call me a witch
He's† in charge‒
control of this ship
your hat...go ahead and tip
 
the eagle has deceived
‒what was given to her
has been stripped
no longer a graceful flight
‒the wings are soon to be clipped
 
hear, hear what I say
it's about to be the Lord's day
hear, hear what He† has to say
‒the eagle's flown
the wrong way
 
down, down, down
she will fall
roll to the ground
like a frustrated ball
oh! how once she stood tall
‒helping every bit of y'all
 
sad, sad rings these bells
as with my ears‒
I openly, loudly hear
the fall is drawing near
the Lord's† strapped me‒
in this corner
pledging...me move no further
‒unless I write the hear
 
ring, ring goes the bells
remembering...once the gentle flight
the eagle way up high
soaring through the open sky
 
the Lord† took notice‒
her careful ways
hearing her calls
helping in the save
 
oh! how she lost her way
that once beautiful eagle‒
so large and strong
how! over the edge
she has gone
as her young starve
‒sitting there alone
 
open your eyes
oh! beautiful eagle
see how you lost‒
your principle
your strong hold
has weakened
oh! how the Lord†
you have forsaken
 
awaken, awaken
hear the ring of the bells
deaf and blind
as you sit on a throne
‒one to soon fall
for the Lord† Almighty
has seen it all
‒His† hand is wrapping
around the ball
He† has sounded
His† final call'

(December 27, 2019)—Today, the poem came first. After I finished writing it, ‘Open the book,’ came. Zephaniah. What is highlighted in the Scripture below is what I underlined in red back in 2007, the first time I read through the Bible. Amazing.

I didn’t want to write what I’ve been getting. I’ve been too afraid. God says, ‘Don’t fear.’ I still didn’t write it. Then I received a text conversation, which I remained in God’s grace, but the other person did not. Hate. Anger. Calling me names and criticizing me heavily. God: ‘Karen, do you understand now?’ Me: ‘Yes.’ Those who think they know me will keep on with their insults because they aren’t understanding God’s process. They look at the dark end of life, that which God puts us through in order to grow us, and that’s all that they see. Why? Because they, themselves, refuse to look at their own mirrors and heal. So, they blame. According to them, I am the cause of their issues. According to them, I was the worse person to cross their paths. According to them, if it weren’t for me, they’d be happy. Wrong on all three accounts. God is in charge. This…THIS…they don’t understand because society has corrupted them so bad that they believe God has no wrath. They believe that God is just there to give good. They don’t want to see that God is in charge of everything.

Here’s a point: The prince of the earth…that would be Satan and all its army…passes on what is good and tempting…the pleasures in life. It is saying, ‘Look, this way is easier. You don’t have to worry about the past. Move on and forget what happened to you. Here’s pleasure, money, comfort. You don’t have to be uncomfortable.’ That’s the test. God and money don’t mix. Doing what God wants from us is hard. What is lost in the mix is that the churches of the world…all those that has been around and our parents went to…they teach that all those pleasures are blessings from God and you don’t have deal with your issues. ‘Give it to God and let it rest…they are so easy to say.

You have to do the work! That’s HOW God works. You can’t just give it to God and forget about it. He wants you to deal with what hurt you. Oh, you can go on blaming someone else. Oh, you can say they are the worse person in the world. Right. God sees all. He knows the truth. That person you are blaming…they have a better shot at seeing God’s kingdom than you do. You keep blaming and you will blame yourself right into the pit. That IS 100% accurate.

Some really horrible things have been said to me in the past two months, from every angle of my life. Why? Because people don’t want to face the truth. They would sacrifice an innocent person to hide their secrets. Only…God knows all, so it’s a bit ridiculous looking at it from God eyes. I was told today that people are praying for me, but I know that these people who are praying for me have racial hate in their hearts. This isn’t of God. God said He would send some of His tribes into slavery, but He promised He would deliver them from it. And He did. So if you have hate in your heart over race or people who have died a long time ago who were once slaves, you are hating against God! Didn’t you know that? So, how can you pray for me, when you harbor this type of hate for God?

I was also told that there is another god out there that I don’t know about. In all my years, I know only ONE God. This kind of talk from anyone tells me that they are being manipulated by Satan. This is not the kind of talk that is of God. Didn’t you know this? Judgment. Blame. Hate. Anger. All of that is the test…through Satan…that God puts us through. I’m still called a hypocrite. Do you know what God says: It’s okay, Karen, you passed your tests. I know I did because He fixed my heart. But those who blame and criticize me don’t want to acknowledge this because they are still blaming me for their problems. God fixed my heart! Not a doctor. God. Of course, they will say, ‘There was nothing wrong with your heart in the first place.’ And then turn around and call me a liar. I was called that again today as well!

‘They will all hate you because of Me.’ God and Jesus say this over and over in the Bible. Don’t you understand what that means? I was told that my writings aren’t helping anyone, my books aren’t helping anyone. Who has the right to make that call? Only God. Have you ever thought that my writings won’t help anyone until after I’m dead? Did that ever cross you mind? Oh, I’m not worthy enough to write for God. God says: You are worthy, Karen. Shame kills. Shame destroys. People buried in shame will mutilate anyone who gets in their path of fake, of the hide. Well, God sent me to several people to get in front of that shame and put it in their face. And He wants me to write about my experience. Shame is one of the ultimate test that God sends. He’s testing hearts. ‘Everyone is invited, but not everyone gets in.’ Do you really know what that means?

A shameful heart is a sinful heart. You are pillaging your own self before you pillage all those around you who try to help you. Do you know that God’s unconditional love hurts? It makes you cry. To look within the depths of yourself…that’s what God wants of you. To humble you. To take pride out of the equation. The conversation I had today…full of pride. That person is far from knowing Jesus, yet this person said I didn’t know the Lord. Humble. When you break, when you fall to your knees and feel shame leave your body, you aren’t afraid of people: No! You become afraid of the LORD!

When you talk about the Lord and display hate and anger in all the same paragraph, you are NOT healed. You are not walking the Jesus Way. Jesus is the ONLY way to get to the kingdom. I walked the opposite way. Damn straight! I had to fall in order to rise. I had to die in order to resurrect. I had to know sin in order to know truth. That process hurts…it’s when nothing else matters but looking within yourself. You don’t concern yourself with the outside world. You don’t concern yourself with who calls you friend. It’s you and the Lord!

Here’s a secret: You can have tons of friends, but none of them actually is your friend. Look back on your life: When you were broke, who came? When you were at the end of your rope, who was there? When you were battling in sin, who called you out on them? Answer: The person you hate the most. The person you do NOT call your friend. The very person you betrayed.

The marks are on your heart. Their heart is cleaned. God works in mysterious ways. Truth. The ones who judge you…they are of the world. Only Jesus has the right to judge. We all go through the darkness. We all sin. We all judge. Humble. It’s when you fight your way in resurrection from all the sin you’ve committed, all the sins that were committed against you, that you start living in truth. Until then, the mask is on. Satan still has its dibs on you. Remember: God is the God of the living. When you are in death (sin…your darkness), He is not present. Once you get to that point where you ask for His mercy, Jesus comes in and starts throwing those crumbs. You have to be strong enough to recognize them. Like getting mail from an ex. Jesus is telling you something. Jesus is calling you. Random things like that are NO accidents. That is Jesus crumbs!

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