‘Grace in Age’

Competing with that young you when you get older is the worse thing you can do. Men…those not healed…that’s all they see. They don’t know the truth…at ALL!

Note: The photograph of myself taken in November is just to remind you that women in the 50s are not dead. Men make us seem that way because those of us with brains don’t stand by and accept the sins of men. Men, who aren’t of the Lord, don’t like that very much. They too much like their sins. I often told myself in the past that I wasn’t going to be single in my golden years, but, in the back of my mind, I knew I would be. A lot of the world’s men want a woman to be quiet and accept. Sorry, that’s not what God wants of me. I’m told I’m still young and that my day is coming. I trust. I still have faith that God is going to reveal to me what true love looks like. When He does, I’m going to boast in ways you never knew possible. At 50 years old, soon to be 51, when you see that boast, you’ll know God sent me a man who sees my heart and not a piece of ass. That there…that’s real!

Grace in Age
 
tightness of skin...loosens
as hands travel along...adding flavor
character...cleverness in soften
 
lines gather around eyes
tiny moments around lips
a woman's saddened endeavor
as makeup creeps in deep
it becomes a hopeless feat
bringing about smiles in laughing

'why go so hard to try?
this heart is better to see
than color-painted eyes'

 
a body struggling in thin
for a man's touch
a sexual needing rush
'why bother'...she laughs in sigh
boys will boys–
always seeking youthful toys
always wanting to see
something delightful, pretty
instead of looking in deep
where truth, real, maturity
really does seep
 
age comes in...no where to hide
accept all those lines
even if alone you lie
–a toy you'd rather not
a woman in truth...instead of deny
a better way to live your life
 
a gentleman will someday see
your aged look...enough...pretty
enough...sitting, talking with maturity
than a toying sexuality
 
those who left you behind
them, too...gain those lines
lost in a memory's time
of what 'use to be mine'

(December 12, 2019)—Growing old together. That’s what it is meant by a two. Seems so much has been forgotten by so many folks. A woman shouldn’t have to worry about being alone in her golden years, but man seems to have forgotten the most about what it means to be a two. Man has forgotten who God is.

Why is this? What happened to faith? ‘Grace in Age’…it shouldn’t be hard. Trust and forgiveness should be the solid foundation with Jesus and God at the head. I’m so tired sometimes of writing the same thing over and over again. I shouldn’t have to. But reading the Book of Isaiah tells me we haven’t much changed. The only way to get to God’s idea of utopia is to understand His process. Maybe, just maybe, more folks then will understand that growing old together is a joy and should be delighted in.

All you men who look at women as pieces of meat to be devoured then tossed aside, you aren’t going to fair very well when your body sleeps. I heard somewhere that it takes a good woman to get a man into heaven. I wonder: Who determines what a good woman is? In all that I’ve experienced, men see a good woman as one who makes him feel good about himself. Wrong! In so many ways. A good woman is the one who challenges your demons and makes you look at the man in the mirror. Maybe when you finally realize this, you’ll stop running from woman to woman, or stop seeking a woman, of any color, to take care of you.

The maturity part…that is what a good woman is looking for. You, who are more worried about your life, talking about your imagined childhood, talking about your imagined successes…that’s not what a good woman is looking for. She’s looking for a man who loves her just the way she is. When she gets that, she wants…wants…to be a better person because he’s shown her that he wants to be a better person for her. Love is hard. Didn’t you get the memo? And God wants us to love…oh, that Jesus love is sweet…but word to the wise, that Jesus love is hard love…that which makes you look at self in ways you never dreamed. And that good woman…Jesus sent her!

‘A Faith’s Window’

You don’t need permission to do what is right. You don’t need to ask what’s in your heart. You already know that. Follow that.

Note: The photograph that accompanies this work was taken November 11th.

 A Faith's Window
 
it's preparing for rain
when the sun is bright
 
it's saying truth
when it's not even–
expected of you
knowing–
it's safe within you
being something–
only you knew
‒but feeling a pull
a little hurt to deal
doing what is real
 
it's understanding the storm
to set things right
 
it's making moves
‒just something
you have to do
without being told to
even when no one–
understands you
even when they see you
as a fool
 
it's staying the course
no matter the force
going against the core
never asking any man–
what for
 
taking it straight
to the Lord†
for you just know
He's† in charge
 
it's being in tuned–
to your emotions
hearing what's inside
letting it overpower–
everything outside
–arguing and debating
alone in a closed-off room
but never giving into doubt–
without evidence given
to what's it all about
–just doing...even in gloom
because you heard it–
from deep within you
 
when all seems dark
everyone telling you–
what to do
–so lost and confused
knowing truly–
what to do
even if others–
don't want you to
–it's coming
from deep within
void of family and friends
–digging deep...trusting
for you heard the Lord†
talking to you

‘Broad Stroke’

Artists. God’s workers. Those who listen to that which comes from inside.

Note: The art that accompanies this work is a screen shot of art within a photograph sent to me on November 9th. God’s art. If you have an artist’s eye, then you will see the image.

 Broad Stroke
 
the Lord† has taken my life
made me a symbol in strife
a fighter for the light
 
He's† laid His† pen to strike
each time win is in sight
He† covers each pit of bight
with another tireless fight
 
I struggle in this mixture
so contrite
 
'why do You† punish me–
didn't I live most of my life
walking in right'

 
I cry and cry
day to night
with moments in relieve–
to sit down for Him†...write
as He† pours the words inside
forcing me
to bring them to the outside
 
I can't fight His† might
His† brush reaches me
from every height
keeping me down–
 
'write, write it down
pen to paper
how I† make you feel
speak truth–
what's behind this deal'

 
each time I refuse
He† toughens His† strike
keeping every body–
out of sight
as I struggle in lonely's stride
begging me to cry and cry
 
'why do You† hate me
I've done all that You† asked
I've never faltered
–my complain and my fight
isn't that tight
keeping me from the write'

 
but He† comes down
in a furious flight
making my body heavy
my will, my spirit
lost in the night
feeling evil all around
lost then found
lost then found
against every silently screaming fight
weighing me down in kryptonite
covering me with sorrowful blight
 
'all I've done for my knights
I get condemned
they get happy and high'

 
He's† taken all away
every love, every pleasure
drowned it all
in my wrestling plight
 
'write, write it down
pen to paper
how I† make you feel
speak truth–
what's behind this deal'

 
as all the words I write
not being the ones right
 
'yes, yes, yes
–go deep, deep, deep
the truth of Me†
don't leave any to guess'

 
I wobble in my cry
as swollen goes my eyes
I eat 'til I'm high
smoke cigars–
pretend I can fly
wondering over and over
 
'what more do I write'
 
as the emotions
continue its roller-coaster ride
 
'fuck you world
and all your dick-swinging swirl
I'm tired of crying for you
Lord†, I'd rather just die
then a moment more–
for them...write'

 
then deeper goes my ride
'til my head wants to blow
from all the tears I cry
then they all dry
sting...burn rings my eyes
leaving me haunted in why
 
'write, write it down
pen to paper
how I† make you feel
speak truth–
what's behind this deal'

 
writing the truth of Him†
His† broad strokes forcing the hymn
He's† in control of everything
all sadness that stings
all happy that rings
but the artist–
His† most precious thing
brings truth through
that suffering thing
 
there's no running
from His† might
the art comes from His† heart
through the pen
His† messages ring
the truth of the sadder
of the happier things
–that which bleeds life
in the will to fight
Continue reading “‘Broad Stroke’”

‘Each Time’

God is NOT a religion. He’s everything. What part of this you don’t get? Jesus is Love! Working for them is hard. People will condemn you. The pit for them!

 Each Time
 
I don't have to write
what I feel
job already spun that reel
 
job tells how you deal
he explains the real
truth...so many conceal
words...sewn up...sealed
 
that's not my drill
here's my only
needing thrill:
have I touched one heart
just one...I look around
–there is none
yes, I've found none
without a whisper
without even one word–
there's nothing to sort
easy...there comes no clutter
to even...with...bother

You've† removed
every single one
–gone
even my little ones
there's no one
so, what I have won
 
I question
You† answer
share...You† demand
help them understand
what's eating–
the hearts of man
 
still..no one
not one single one
 
each time–
comes Your† demand
take my knowledge
to this deceitful world–
take a stand
 
each time–
less I have
each time–
love...I get–
not even half
 
instead...sacrifice
at Your† hand
for woman and man
evil to withstand
but...they chalk it up
to wantings of fans
 
for penny games
the pit's national grandstand
putting everything about You†
into a circus of alien brand
 
each time–
You† ask of me: more
alone stands at my door
You† keeping me from them all–
society's beck and call

I appreciate the stall–
Your† love
throws me up against walls
for You† catch me
every time I fall
 
each time–
I ask for someone
still...no one
for I'm designed for a two
in a world
where there's so few
who to You†...are true
 
each time–
I ask and wait
each time–
tears You† bring
in sad songs
to sing
Continue reading “‘Each Time’”

‘Soulful Fight’

True love. When you’re willing do hard love to save another person…when you sacrifice your own self, your own heart, to force the heal, God sees. When you do that, you’ve done Jesus’ work…laying a foundation for His love to take over.

Note: The photograph that accompanies this work was taken on November 9th. The bride and groom. The sign of Jonah plays an important part in this image. Resurrection. Heal.

 Soulful Fight
 
I went after the leprosy
with everything I had–
in my raging diplomacy
 
as you crucified me
I forced my eyes in see
there was evil lurking–
in supremacy
it had you by the balls–
sucking you up
in turbulency
 
so I forced the trenchancy
put my own life–
in uneasy
fighting in urgency
in a faith-based vagrancy
using a ferocious vulgarity
mixed with heart-filled tranquility
 
it was a war in predominancy
a constant in persistency
with a Jesus†-driven prophecy
in scripture proficiency
 
I refused to give in–
to its juvenile delinquency
as it continued
its obvious redundancy
 
no...I had a certain resiliency
a God†-powered superiority
–a whole lot of
bayou-girl tenacity
 
I wavered all my
constitutionality
plus my respectability
–my inward-driven notability
 
yeah, I rebuked its notoriety
with a whole lot of animosity
a bit of flavored immaturity
–a bit of raging hostility
 
no matter the difficulty
I broke its embedded dynasty
 
all to save your soul
from a firing eternity!

‘Cinderella’

I didn’t see that coming! In a million plus a million years, I would have never come close to guessing what their secret was, what drove them to such extremes to cancel out my life for theirs!

Note: The picture that accompanies this work was taken October 23, 2019. The All-Seeing Eye…God sees everything. The orb on my lips…I speak the truth!

Cinderella
 
forever the middle
the chaos of this riddle
a blind-sided fable
so unstable
realizing
I was the bunt
of the whole tittle-tattle
 
as I stuck
to principle
–the older and the little–
used my endless babble
my life to chisel
my words to embezzle
to form the equivocal
turning away all eyes
from their hidden wrinkle
 
I became the variable
setting me up in miserable
my life...nonnegotiable
 
in their minds
of corruptible
it was justifiable
even ethical
whatever it took–
for themselves...beneficial
as I became
the lamb in sacrificial
–so they can live
in superficial
 
I'm no longer
their brothel
I take my self back
in a fucking loud rustle
I set myself up
in acquittal
 
I've never held
their ways in immoral
I'm the emotional
a God†-creature
in natural
 
I'm not the older
or the little
I'm the middle
about it all
I'll gladly write
every riddle
that's my glass slipper
no longer–
a need in rebuttal
I'm the documentarian
–the truth in
forever's portrayal
Continue reading “‘Cinderella’”

‘Your ‘Why”

For the morning dove, how sweet it is to finally know the truth. The decision to live life over society byway of the truth is the most courageous act of love mankind could ever witness.

Note: The photograph that accompanies this writing was taken October 23.

 Your 'Why'
 
I know your why
it's okay
you...no longer
have to just get by
it's okay
lay it out–
let yourself cry
 
before you came back
in this earthly body–
you made a truth
in decide
a cross to occupy
in honor of the One†
on the cross...died
 
you came here
in His† honor
to experience
then to testify
to stab that evil prince
in the eye
 
no one else
made such a decide
you already knew–
the truth
behind the lie
 
you came here
to verify
–put an end
to the genocide
 
of all the crimes
added to this homicide
you chose the worse
in horrify
the one left out
in write
the one to evil
to supply–
stripping dignify
of the preciousness
of the Magi†
 
your importance
now...in verify
the love
in transcribe
not in implied
not in modified
not in mystified
never...again...in nullify
but in exemplified
–for you died
in deny
then resurrected
in verify
on how to beat
evil's formaldehyde
 
for out of vampire
you fought the fires
to break the liars
of their infested pesticide
elevating the life
of Jesus Christ†
 
for you...and you alone–
chose to bear the cross
that didn't even
live in deny
–one hidden by evil
to awaken and thrive
–stealing little lives
for sake of die!
 
you will change the ride
 
for you came back
to experience
then testify
 
this...the meaning
of your why
 
so do it...outwardly cry
for your cross
reasons...from way up high
–a dove in flight
for all mankind

‘Spaces to Stay’

Believing in love is hard after being let down. Sometimes, we just have to throw our hands up and trust in God’s plan. Those who don’t see God’s plan: they just keep going round and round. Trust in that Jesus Love. He’ll come through when He knows we are ready.

 Spaces to Stay
 
I wanted to think
you cared
I wanted to believe
I was more than a barbie doll
to stare
I wanted to be in arms
somewhere...anywhere
just to feel accepted
–not just in skin...bare
 
I was wrong
 
a constant staring in air
playing dress up–
fixing my hair
without a soul to care
 
just once...wanting to be
more than just a dare
to not dawn sex to wear
–just being there
believing...I'm finally
free of the tear
leaving behind
every frightful scare
that I'd be left
for another in bare
 
I was wrong
 
the weakest link–
everywhere
the spear always wanting
to be somewhere
–in a different anywhere
 
in blank spaces I stare
voiding empty glares
all those running
to somewhere
spreading themselves
anywhere
–getting no wheres

‘The Good Samaritan’s Heart’

‘They will hate you because of Me’ He said. He meant that. That evil whore is out to destroy all that is Love. Are you going to allow that?

 The Good Samaritan's Heart
 
we pay homage–
to the good life
dressing nice
buying nice
painting our faces and nails
wearing aftershaves and perfumes
wearing diamonds and gold
building pretty buildings
polishing its glass and steal
 
leaving out in life–
what is real
 
we raise glasses to toast
we eat and drink
gossip in the roast
we turn to gluttony–
our bodies reveal its sincerity
in pictures...it shows
 
we turn the other cheek
off...we blow
saying
'it's the good life
we've earned its glow'

 
then we pass them
on the street
cough it up–
'they don't try
they let their dreams die
oh, poor them–
let the devil fry'

 
then return to our
fat-ingested life
of fancy buildings
dry-cleaned clothes
shiny diamonds and gold
drinking merrily
with friends in loads
laughing and gossiping
–as another dies
from the fry
 
it is those
who were crucified
by those ignorant lives
who doesn't just walk on by
–they give up their life
for those lost in the fry
for it’s the reason
why
Jesus†...on the cross
died
 
and as they struggle
in their own lives–
they help
the poor, the meek, the mild
they comfort those mourning
they tend the sick and lame
having to beg for money
pulling in their pride
asking...begging
from those who crucified
from those letting Jesus† die
over and over
in the tears shed
from the fry
 
the good heart
willing to do their part
as the ignorant
tears them a part
for they know
this is just a stop
the part filled with knots
on their way to God†
–in His† house
where lives
no more knots
no timings of clocks!
 
 
Continue reading “‘The Good Samaritan’s Heart’”

‘Entrusted Servant’

It is through the power of the Lord that we listen and hear His voice and then do what He ask of us. For it is through faith, that we hear. For it is through love, that we do.

 Entrusted Servant
 
I do not know you
I do not know
if you answered the do'
 
I have
 
I know God's† providence
for me
I questioned
then He† made me see
 
I do not know
what  you are to do
I do what He's† told me to–
deliver His† message to you
‒now I know the voice–
who it belongs to
 
you may not know
what He† wants of you
but I know
what He† wants of me
I must give to you
what He's† given to me
 
I cannot turn back
I cannot undo
what He's† done for me
 
what He† has not given to you
you do not have to worry
what you cannot undo
‒you do not have to worry
doing...what He's† asked of you
for you do not know
 
I do know
‒I cannot undo
what He's†
asked me to do
so I'll do
what He† wants me to do
for He's† asked me to
 
it is so
what I now know
He's† given me seeds to sow
I don't have to guess
who will help them grow
for I already know
for He† told me so