they're out there enjoying life
those who lied and betrayed
while she sits in silence
waiting for her time
they all believe the opposite
of what is true
they are all blinded in fool
while her tears cause her to drool
praying...her inward tool
for being condemned
doing what she was supposed to do
all abandoned her
deciding to judge
where no judgment was due
where no pitying was due
so she accepts the cross
‒knowing full well...who's in charge
in the waves of other's flaws
like a rage doll...she was tossed
but her hopes
stayed with the light
weren't even her fight
in her eyes
she just watched their blight
screamed at them
in her troubled fight
thinking it was her right
standing up for herself
against the night
those suffering for lack of insight
in only the Lord†
can things ever be right
yes, she watched...screamed
with all her might
years of blight‒
but it was never her fight
‒she was already in the light
so she waits...sometimes in cry
accepting the silence
her temporary confinement
for ever lasting enlightenment
as those who suffer inside
play with false lives
on the outside
‒the lost coveting what they lost
concealing in lies...lost
not knowing what it means
to take it to the cross
yes, they condemn her, judge her
placing her in depressed...lost
when all the while‒
what they refused to see
she was always a faithful child
of the Boss†!
(July 23)—There’s a lot going on but little of nothing. What’s taking place in my life is not on the outside per say. I never really knew what was meant by Spiritual Awakening. To be honest, I thought it was all a bunch of crap. But I could never deny the things I’ve experienced when it came to the spiritual world. All the experiences I’ve written about in My 12-Book Series, well, they actually happened. Everything I’m experiencing now…it’s actually happening. It’s not in my mind, or some crazy deal. I think this is the part that separates the spiritual realm from the rest of the world. People go to church every day all around the world, but they really don’t understand what they are hearing or reading about because so much is left out of those preachings.
I’ve been having a lot of questions lately. I know what I’ve been experiencing. I began my journey in meditation. I think maybe I jumped a few steps and went directly to the meat of it all. It’s work. It’s of the spiritual realm, the place I go when I fall deep into meditation. I have questions answered and my mom seems to be part of this journey now. She is the truth of the spiritual realm for me. She is on my team per say. Anyway, a lot has been put before me lately. And my questions keep adding up.
It’s not doubt in God. In the Bible, it says to question everything. I knew this. So, I do. This meditation journey scares the crap out of me. Just like seeing someone from the realm, only once for me, it scared the crap out of me. Even having one touch me, I jump out of my pants! Hearing them has eased a little. There’s nothing like hearing another person in the room and I am the only person in the room! I know it’s a gift. I denied it for years. We are given these gifts for a reason. Everyone just blurts it out that they can do this or that, but no one actually talks about the why of it. And there is a why.
Those of us who are given these gifts aren’t any more special than someone who’s a doctor, or nurse, or teacher, or mother. I’ll talk more on these later (still waiting for my tripod so I can do my videos). We are all part of the same body…let’s just keep it simple. So, I’m learning about my gifts slowly. I’ve moved from the child to the maturity part…the place where I can handle these mature subjects with the maturity required.
So, all these things being put in front of me, I’ve been questioning. I’m sitting at my table drinking my coffee, still smoking cloves and open the book came. This was around 4 this afternoon. I didn’t sleep last night, but I finally feel asleep this morning and I woke up around 3. So, I open the book, page 1102 and 1103. No surprise when I look at those numbers! Jeremiah! Then I got read. I read the first verse. Keep reading. I didn’t feel like it but I went ahead and read. The following verse is what I was to include with this:
While Jeremiah had been confined in the courtyard of the guard, the word of the Lord came to him: ‘Go and tell Ebed-Melech the Cushite, ‘This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: I am about to fulfill My words against this city through disaster, not prosperity. At that time they will be fulfilled before your eyes. But I will rescue you on that day, declares the Lord; you will not be handed over to those you fear. I will save you; you will not fall by the sword but will escape with your life, because you trust in Me, declares the Lord.’—Jeremiah 39:15-18
The whole thing is about the ending of what Jeremiah was preaching about. No one listened of course. Destruction came…just like the Lord said it would…through Jeremiah. The king did let Jeremiah go…just like the Lord said.
But the Bible is just a piece of old literature! That is what I read yesterday, written by a divorced woman of abuse. Why? She’s frustrated. Too many Bible-preaching individuals who are declaring they know it all and telling women like her that God hates divorce and she’s going to go to hell! So she believes it and now it doesn’t matter what she believes, she believes she’s going to the pit anyway!
Fucking bitches! That’s right. I said that shit! You say you know God but you condemned this woman to hell because God did to her life what He said He would! Those who are putting these stumbling blocks in front of people are the true ones who’s souls need to be saved. The divorced woman, she’s remarried. God did that. He brought her to the bottom then resurrected her. Now, she’s troubled again because of false preachings. Shame.
I have an old friend that I communicate with often. I’m going to say his name which I usually don’t say names: Morgan Landry. We are from the same south in Louisiana. We are both journalists. He’s pretty in your face as a reporter. Me, too, when it comes to the written word. I went head to head with him once…me it was about proper English…me: if you’re going to write, write well. It kills me when I try to post something from my phone and the phone changes my words and I see it after I post it! And what’s sadder is no one corrects me. Not the world I grew up in.
Morgan…he’s had a tough journey. Currently, I feel, from the post he posted that I read this morning that he battles with acceptance because he was called to talk about Jesus. What he said was so true. What is it about Jesus’ name that everyone hates? I don’t get it. Why are people so afraid to even say His name? Jesus!
I’m in awe over this. Why are people afraid of Him? They should be more afraid of God! When I start the videos, you’ll understand this. I saw, experienced what God can do…the veils. He has power beyond the human imagination. You can’t even come close to it! And you are afraid of Jesus! Jesus is the go-between…the high priest whom you should adore with all your heart! He’s the cushion! What the fuck is wrong with you people?! He’s the light in which lightens up God’s mood. If it weren’t for Him, you’d not have one iota of a chance with the shit you pull today!
Jesus! I wrote 5 pieces thus for on revelations that I’m sent. I don’t give a flying fuck if you adhere to them or not. That’s on you. I’m being totally selfish here. Fuck you! I’m not going to that pit. You can all you want! Be my fucking guest! Enjoy. Me…no fucking way! What God wants of me, God freaking gets! Oh, hell, yes! You can criticize me, making me cry, keep me in confinement, talk about me, judge me….I don’t give a flying fuck as I said. Only God’s judgment matters! Humans are worthless in that matter.
When are humans in the matter? When it comes to the body of Christ! He’s the head. We are the body. We are expected to work together as in eyes, ears, feet, arms, even our freaking bowls! This…you people don’t get. You are stuck in your misery because you aren’t working your part of the body! This was the issue with the sweet man. I tried to force this. You can’t by the way. If someone doesn’t want to do their part and they prefer to work the other side because the devil has a hold of them and that wine tastes sweeter, why work, why live the hard life when the devil’s wine is easier and more pleasurable? Hummm……When it came to the sweet man…that wine only seems pleasurable because I felt all HIS turmoil myself. I saw how he acted on the outside, but I felt how he actually was feeling on the inside…what the fuck is that?! Who the hell lives like that? Those whom that evil whore the devil has its grips in…that’s who!
That part makes me sad. As in today’s work, those of us who are allowed this glimpse in how God actually works, can’t do anything about it but plant a seed, all we can do is warn them…hey, this is happening to you. What is odd is that they…those in captivity…project their pain on those with the message, those who were sent to them to save them. That’s the evil whore by the way.
How do you know this is happening to you? How do you know if YOU are the one sent and not the other way around? I want to laugh because the divorced woman I spoke about above…her confusion was made worse by the abuser telling her that SHE was the evil one. The same tricks all narcissist use because the narcissism itself is the devil…it knows no other tricks but the same exact ones so from every narcissists you will hear the same things. The projection: trying to break God’s children! The evil whore duplicates! It’s not original in anything!
As in Jeremiah today, all we can do is warn them. All we can do is do what God ask us to do. It’s the personal responsibility of each person, each part of the body to do its part. We ARE the creation. God is in charge. He will use you for what He deems is necessary. You have to pay attention. Listening to all these churches, you are batting for the wrong side. Get yourself a Bible. You are responsible for the truth. God sent Jesus in order to wipe the authority away from churches who are of the world! Jesus…is the church! God put Him in your heart. YOU are the temple! As soon as you understand that…the better!
All these men…especially black men who are proud to announce they are unbelievers! Your physical fucking days will be short lived. Your riches will never truly come. Go on living the way you are. Go on wondering why…WHY you are accused, lost in racism. It’s your unbelief. You are a soldier of the world…that evil whore is making a huge…HUGE profit off of prostituting you! And you are so blind to the truth. You are the Jezebels. Not the other way around. (Yeah, I read this online this morning…sad!) Here’s truth: All these men…childhood trauma! Guaranteed! Their spirit and heart are separated because of it! Now they live for the ego, the image. They are damaged goods with a nice body! The devil works through lust! That’s all they know. The truth hurts. This is my fuck-you church and I’m going to give it to you hard…this is not a SOFT topic.
You are responsible for your soul. The pit…that’s what you want. Fine! Go for it! I’m sure those of us who believe will be sent to administer to you. No worries. It’s your fucking life. Go ahead pick up your gun…shoot, steal. Put your false teeth in and your false eyes, pump the muscles up and go find an innocent girl to fuck. The marks are adding up. It’s your life. Since you like to fuck…sweat…you’ll probably enjoy the pit! Only you won’t be fucking anymore! Enjoy!
I’m not here to bring peace to you. I’m here to bring the hard love. You have to choose. Enjoy your brief moments of pleasure. It’s what comes after that that matters to me. I fought that evil whore. I won. And I’m a girl! It’s amazing how girls are stronger than boys! Boys are so freaking weak! The devil likes that shit. It got to you as a boy…it’s keeping you a boy! But you can fight that shit. Takes courage. Jesus came for you. The sinner. He’ll help you. But you have to go to Him. Unconditional love…free will. HE WILL NOT BEG! So, continue being a bitch for the devil! After all, it allows you to fuck with your big dick right?! I saw what the chameleon can do. The lustfulness of it all. It doesn’t last. One girl then another then another…there’s a reason for this. Things of the prince of the earth never satisfies…always leaving you wanting more and more. You can’t seem to find what you’re looking for. Oh, I wonder why?! It will have you searching for the rest of your life…bringing in more soldiers for it to feed off of….through you! Because you are NOT in control. It only allows you to feel that way…oh, so powerful. ALL THE WOMEN WANT ME! They all want the dick? Laugh out loud. That evil whore controls every move you make!
Your victims…the women you used and abused. They won! They passed their test. Sorry. Your win is only an illusion. The evil whore playing its shit with you. That confusion is so frustrating isn’t it? How many supplements have you tried to keep that dick going? I bet a lot. I bet you are constantly reading about it. Of the world. I’m in your face. It takes strength to fight shit like that. Do you have it? It takes courage to fight that kind of thing…that on-going need to sex up someone…for that pleasure that last for a how many minutes. Only, men have a hard time going off multiple times. Do you ever wonder why? Only a woman of God can change that. Show you what it means to be true to Him. Laughing. I am. I experienced that. Through me, God showed what He is capable of. The guy didn’t listen. So, God took it away. Threw him back to temporary! Shame! One…One woman…then God will give you what you never had before. But the devil won’t allow that. It knows you are weak! The weak link! Good luck with that!
Narcissism can be beat. It takes courage, strength, determination and the truth of Jesus Christ and God. You can’t do it alone. Sorry. Without therapy and God…the devil wins you forever!
I walked the walk. I was asked to do something. I trusted. God brings us to it and He pulls us out to teach us something, to rebuild us. When you understand that, then you are on your way to healing. Good Day!