‘Backlash’ (The Crucifixion Vision)

You must learn to fight with your mind!

 Backlash
 
He's† coming
His† fierce wrath
–a warning
that will steal your laugh
 
He's† waited
as you gently
took your bath
seeing you
enjoy your treasures
He's glad
 
His† simplicity‒
riddled with an interesting sass
if you fall too far behind
on the graph
He† has an unwavering strap
administered by
a father's unconditional love‒
in a dash
giving you a chance
to bounce back
from your deep, darkened nap
 
but you haven't read
the telegraph
you haven't heard
the endless knocking raps
you haven't heard
the crash, the clash
or the blast
you haven't even heard
the slush
of His† slow drag
 
instead
you waddle like an ass
pretending to celebrate
honor His† flag
while others...with a bat
so willing to bash
 
round and round
lap after lap
slowly distorting Him†
in every class
mixing it all up–
commoners can't even grasp
leaving it all
to be given in mass
not willing
to take on the task
–it's all been a trap
 
the mark of the beast–
will be an easy lash
they will be willing–
without any wording sass
let alone
a flame from a shiny blast
 
how to measure gullibility–
the strength needed
to cure this rash
will take more
than attending a mass
or around waist
wrapping a sash
 
in the mind
will come the nag
–a played-out invisible rag
strange thoughts
making a face sag
doubt...oh! how nasty!
its constant drag
heaviness and confusion–
mixing it all up in lag
 
there's a better way to combat
this dark invisible rag
–powers hidden
once sealed–
too high to be grasped
it's now time
to bathe in its vast
opening it up–
the vaults...down...smash
 
mind for mind...slash
taking control back
before the Lamb comes
in a flash
open up for a higher stash
–sorting through trash
with an energy in splash
 
yes, He's† coming
a warning in passing
a chance to be given
for a new class
a higher way
fighting in blast
a choice in self's brass
–thrive in eternity's musical jazz
or fall in evil's
forever fire-pitting trap

(August 24, 2019)―Wow! is how today began. A jolting out of bed at 4 a.m. to write. I didn’t want to get up. Three times I was literally jolted out of bed. I finally got up and I’ve been writing ever since. That’s what I’m suppose to do: keep writing.

I mentioned in a few writings that I’ll eventually have a section on here about my meditation journey…it will either be in a category or an entire section to itself. All I know is that I’m on an extraordinary journey and I’ve been on this journey for years now, only this time it’s elevated, and I’m to share the entire process here.

Continue reading “‘Backlash’ (The Crucifixion Vision)”

‘Time Allotment’

Healing individual and nation byway of God’s tests!

 Time Allotment
 
there were so many‒
but not quite like the three
babylon, rome, egypt
 
babylon wiped from the map
rome...an enemy-insertion trap
as egypt turns
to left-over scrap
 
there were many other nations
tribes around the world
worshiping their gods
in a swirl
disappearing...gone
‒their gods' validation
 
God† over-shadows all others
they last quite a while
then smothered
God† doesn't interfere
doesn't even bother
‒leave them to the world's wonder
just how many gods
are under the thunder?
 
once mighty rulers
having gold and emeralds
hundreds of years‒
forcing slaves
to dry them tears
in each heart
placements of fear
thousands of years
controllers held dear
 
all before: Yeshuah† appeared
 
slowly, slowly rulers
of such magnitude...disappeared
 
are you blind...think so queer
that you can out smart‒
thousands of years!
 
just three: babylon, rome, egypt
oh my! thousands of years
they had reason‒
held their egos so dear
forcing love to the rear
live by hate, pride‒
the shield...instilling fear
 
but barely old enough
to even see rough!
built up pride and ego
not even three hundred years!
laugh, laugh, laugh
‒the emptying of the glass
chances were given
to help you last
‒you're just using it in sass
 
sweet, sweet land of milk and honey
days are coming less sunny
 
countries with more maturity
countries with much more history
fell to the feet
of the Mystery
ancestors left
with no one to call majesty
‒take heed to that of sincerity
you're wasting a gift‒
too young...a baby
not even close to maturity
ego, pride, greed‒
wasted years in cruelty
falling to the hands
of evil in royalty!

(July 5, 2019)—I was led to Ezekiel again today. Political mess. Shootings again in America. Not schools or theaters this time…Wal-Marts! I ask: Why not Target, or the malls, or Walgreens, or any other branded store. Why Wal-Marts? Strange occurrences. The schools. Sure there were a few out-of-sort shootings trying to throw it off, but mostly schools. Then theaters. Random? Across the country. Even less than six minutes from my house! Then a concert…I’m thinking it was going to be the first of many, but then security took over. Stupid really…to target a place like Vegas…that shit spills all over the country. I went to several concerts after. Security is high! Now stores….

Continue reading “‘Time Allotment’”

‘Solitary Confinement’

The truth of planting seeds by-way of Jeremiah! It’s time for hurting to take the personal responsibility to heal.

 
 Solitary Confinement
  
 they're out there enjoying Life
 those who Lied and betrayed
 while she sits in silence
 waiting for her time
  
 they all believe the opposite
 of what is True
 they are all blinded in fool
 while her tears cause her to drool
 praying...her inward tool
 for being condemned
 doing what she was supposed to do
  
 all abandoned her
 deciding to judge
 where no judgment was due
 pitying her–
 where no pitying was due
  
 so she accepts the cross
 ‒knowing full well...who's in charge
 in the waves of other's flaws
 like a rage doll...she was tossed
  
 but her hopes
stayed with the Light
 their insecurities
weren't even her fight
 in her eyes
she just watched their blight
 screamed at them
in her troubled fight
 thinking it was her right
 standing up for herself
against the night
 those suffering for lack of insight
 in only the Lord†
can things ever be right
  
 yes, she watched...screamed
 with all her might
 years of blight‒
 but it was never her fight
 ‒she was already in the Light
  
 so she waits...sometimes in cry
 accepting the silence
 her temporary confinement
 forever lasting enlightenment
 as those who suffer inside
 play with false lives
on the outside
 ‒the lost coveting what they lost
 concealing in Lies...lost
 not knowing what it means
 to take it to the cross
  
 yes, they condemn her, judge her
 placing her in depressed...lost
 when all the while‒
 what they refused to see
 she was always a Faithful child
 of the Boss! 

(July 23, 2019)—There’s a lot going on but little of nothing. What’s taking place in my life is not on the outside per say. I never really knew what was meant by Spiritual Awakening. To be honest, I thought it was all a bunch of crap. But I could never deny the things I’ve experienced when it came to the spiritual world. All the experiences I’ve written about in My 12-Book Series, well, they actually happened. Everything I’m experiencing now…it’s actually happening. It’s not in my mind, or some crazy deal. I think this is the part that separates the spiritual realm from the rest of the world. People go to church every day all around the world, but they really don’t understand what they are hearing or reading about because so much is left out of those preachings.

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‘His Pickup’

Have you answered God’s call? He’s waiting on you!

 His† Pickup
  
 I talk to the air
 pretending someone's there
 –it's only fair
 since no one sees
how I comb my hair
  
 I go for days, weeks
in this brave affair
 feeling angels everywhere
 then I fall to despair
 acknowledging
no one's really there
 wondering
if anyone really cares
  
 I go until I can't
my hand to face in cry–
  
 this isn't fair
  
 too long I've been waiting
for the care
 working, doing
wanting someone truly there
 but...just surrounds me
thin air
  
 I get completely lost
in this temporary despair
 then...comfort arrives
out of thin air
  
 I was pushed back
and about to fall,
 but the Lord helped me.
 the Lord is my strength
and my song;
 He has become
my salvation.
  
 revealing there's someone there
 someone who truly cares
 waiting, fighting there
 waiting to become fully
before the Lord...bare
 dealing in past affairs
 –having courage to dare
  
 shouts of joy and victory
 resound in the tents
of the righteous;
 the Lord's right hand
has done mighty things!
 the Lord's right hand
is lifted high;
 the Lord's right hand
has done mighty things!
  
 victory is every where
 I can feel I in the air
  
 I will not die but live,
 and will proclaim
what the Lord has done.
 the Lord has chastened me severely,
 but He has not given me
over to death.
  
 I know all won't be lost
in despair
 I know there will be saved
so many little hairs
 so I basked in this empty air
 as...taking place
the attended affairs
  
 open for me
the gates of righteousness;
 I will enter
and give thanks to the Lord.
 this is the gate of the Lord
 through which
the righteous may enter.
 I will give You thanks
for You answered me;
 You have become my salvation.
  
 all things will be fair
 as comes...the perfect affair
  
 the stone the builders rejected
 has become the capstone;
 the Lord has done this,
 and it is marvelous in our eyes.
 this is the day the Lord has made;
 let us rejoice and be glad in it.
  
 seeing truth...so there
 I anticipate
with welcoming flair
 I know this heart I wear
 –out of pure despair
 comes a star's brilliant glare
  
 o Lord, save us;
 o Lord, grant us success.
 blessed is he who comes
in the name of the Lord.
 from the house of the Lord
we bless you.
 the Lord is God,
 and He has made His light
shine upon us.
 with boughs in hand
join in the festal procession
up to the horns of the altar
  
 in bowed head...I do declare
 life is as it should be–
 it's not in the tear
 but in the solid of repair
 that God† reveals
His† humble stare
  
 You are my God
and I will give You thanks;
 You are my God
and I will exalt You.
 give thanks to the Lord
for He is good;
 His love endures forever.—Psalm 118 

He’s Waiting On You!

(July 5, 2019)—I haven’t written in a while…been busy with the testimony of my recent events, which has proven not difficult, but more of a soul-searching deal that’s taking me nearing over a month now to work on. It’s okay. I have plenty time. There’s never a rush for things these days. In due time, they do come. But I have been working diligently and long hours. I went to bed at 5 a.m. this morning and woke up at around noon to people asking me if I felt the earthquake. No. I’ve been busy.

Continue reading “‘His Pickup’”

‘Anger’s Infest’

Anger wants you steadfast! God wants you moving forward!

 Anger's Infest
 
feel it beneath your skin
evil's way of getting within
actions in horror's den
‒ways of evil's perfect sin
 
it'll trap you in cussing
it'll condemn you in swearing
pulling at you...probing
wanting your reaction
for it's only satisfaction
 
it'll take all
of your triggering notions
you...down...dragging
as it smiles
in sadistic laughing
craving your giving in
your fight...it's welcoming
celebrating
your mind's condemn
 
anger...evil's infested gem
words, actions
its consistency in playing
wanting you
self to defend
so it can celebrate
in its win
 
feel it beneath your skin
evil's way of getting within
actions in horror's den
‒ways of evil's perfect sin
Continue reading “‘Anger’s Infest’”

‘You Bitch!’

Simple Ways for You to Defeat Negative Self Talk

A sample from Book 12

 You Bitch!
 
I've got an itch
‒pouring through my mind
a well-dug ditch
screaming words in myth
to the highest pitch
forcing me down a darkened pit
‒a text-blasting trip
becoming an accusing witch
out to smash an invisible zit
 
every word on my lips
disguised in angry fits
passing along this typed niche
thinking it's hip
making itself rich
‒taking advantage of my slip
 
you evil bitch!
I'm gonna smash you to bits
I'm so tired of your shit
in the bud...I'm gonna nip
not for a moment anymore
forever...your throat
I'm gonna slit

over the top
I'm gonna flip
dunk you
down below...permanently dip
 
no more...you get wit
over the head‒
you...I'm gonna hit
no more playful glitches
in God†...get a good whiff
of wine I'm gonna sip
sit back‒
finally be done
with your controlling, irrational blip
up goes my middle finger‒
see the tip
up yours!
you piece of shit!

(October 16, 2018)—Are you mad at me for cussing? Get over yourself. This is a commentary that screams—It’s time for some cussing!

I’m going to give you some good information here if you suffer from depression, anger, negative self-talk to help you start turning things around in your life. Don’t worry. I’m taking this same journey, so let’s ride!

I’m doing two workshops at one time. The one on anger which I wrote a few posts about this past week and a happiness workshop. I’m also reading a second workbook titled Pathways to Recovery, A Strengths Recovery Self-Help Workbook by Priscilla Ridgway, Diane McDiarmid, Lori Davidson, Julie Bayes, and Sarah Ratzlaff.

Continue reading “‘You Bitch!’”

‘Humble of Mercy’

You Want It to Be! So Bad….

A sample from Book 12

 Humble of Mercy
 
she shivered in the sun light
thinking of words in the night
take care of yourself
make this all count
it's not as bad as it seems

 
–wondering...
if this is really all right
 
she covers her eyes from the bright
words...thoughts in her head
filling her morning's sight
you've heard this before
words of deception
he doesn't want you no more
don't let 'fool' be your salvation

 
‒wondering...
why the needless blight
 
then the bible's insight
saying it's going to be all right
 
the unease feels her insides
but her heart digs in tight
it was always him‒
since all the darkened twilight
why so hard to get it right
why so much fight
 
she washed her face
forced a smile to the light
dawned her makeup
ignored age's height
the saddened night
throwing sorrow to the wind‒
the need to cry...howl
all night
 
her heart sits right
she adhered to the boundaries‒
set outright
time needed with the light
she can't fight
without insight
cleansing her insides, beautying her outsides
letting the magic pour from God†
as age moves on
lessening her life
–each piece
becomes more precious, more fragile
 
learning not anymore
to gamble
what's wrong, what's right
just listening to the light
without a fight

(September 26, 2018)—

Keep me safe, O God, for in You I take refuge. I said to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing.’ As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom in all my delight. The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips. Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup; You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let Your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.―Psalm 16

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‘Knife’

Surviving the Knife of Those Who Betray You!

A sample from Book 12

(April 21, 2018)—That knife becomes weaker when we gain the support of others, when we start to see the true meaning behind our life. That knife doesn’t come out that easy especially when you see everyone’s true disclosure.

There’s so much to say, then there’s nothing to say. I have this much on my mind: If they don’t want to see you, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, they won’t see you.

I’ve said a lot here on Facebook. I revealed a lot…but there’s a lot I haven’t revealed. So you only get a piece of the puzzle…never the whole picture. Why? Because I do have a life and part of that life is private as for everyone else. There’s a lot of pain I cover up…and, yes, there is still pain. There will always be pain because an entire portion of my life has been wiped out…and not by choice.

I tried calling my daughter. It appears that she’s changed her number. I think that odd because the words I last typed her in text were answers to words she said to me, but I’m held totally accountable. Why? Oh, because I’m 49 years old and should know better. I’m the mom…but that doesn’t come into affect when I’m called by my name instead of Mom. Just saying….

 Knife
 
it was put in there‒
nice and tight
when I move around
to the left, to the right
it reveals its price
‒how it changed my life
the strength it took‒
robbing my mind
the way it makes me wanna fight
even if it isn't right
even if I said...say...things impolite
I was...am...gonna fight
‒even while speaking of the light
 
at times, I feel like a poltergeist
a faded memory...sliced and diced
forgotten the way I was
forever entombed in what I've become
not a homicide
‒a genocide of all that was nice
womanly, motherly...dignified
downgraded to a parasite
‒not fit for normal's life
 
should I be lost in contrite
bowed down in pity...outright
or was I absolutely right
turning childlike
begging for help‒
from Yeshuah, the Christ†
 
who has the right to decide‒
I'm the sacrifice
in order for them‒
to have their paradise
 
who had the right‒
shift truth to lies
bury this knife
in what used to be‒
a mother, sister, daughter, wife
 
in me...it so mystifies
how everyone becomes tongue-tied
when abuse is in transcribe
‒the victim screams in alive
how extreme...me...it mortifies
that, no matter which way‒
death...comes in die
twist, twist, twist the knife
gone daughter, sister, mother, wife
 
rebuilding exemplified
the alibis become jives
words in wisdom...just implied
while words...wombs...rob the mind
memories of building the first life‒
took one times forty-five
 
pull, pull, pull out the knife
time in modify
is there another forty-five
my, my, my how it mystifies
what comes of‒
pulling out the knife
Continue reading “‘Knife’”

‘Live’

Don’t put it off until tomorrow!

A sample from Book 11

 Live
 
today means nothing in tomorrow
today means nothing in yesterday
today is today
 
yesterday was once today
tomorrow will be today
one known, one unknown
yet, today is
 
what happened yesterday
won't happen again
what will happen tomorrow
just a guess, my friend
 
today, oh! today
each second, each minute
each hour...is ours to devour
 
don't think of what was
nor what will follow
 
today...over...tower
be its blooming flower
without counting
seconds, minutes, hours
 
for death still comes
for all...not some
never knowing the exact hour
no more, blooms the flower
 
today, shines the light
no need to fight
it's up...so bright
use it in delight
without thinking twice
 
for yesterday is gone
tomorrow...an unsung song
today, oh! today‒
today is
so...go on...live
 
Continue reading “‘Live’”

‘Truth’

Racism, hate: Evil’s best friends. Don’t let it consume you!

A sample from Book 11

 Truth
 
liars seek truth‒
falsifying a life
without any light
 
manipulation...their due
cutting it on cue
‒without noticing
the coming dues
 
their belief‒
trying to convince you
all they do
true, true, true
backing them‒
there are few
 
their spots change
sending you to the loo
oh! what to do?
‒without cursing them, too
 
truth is truth
existing
no half truths
‒it's either all true
or just makings
of a waterloo
Continue reading “‘Truth’”