Pulling A Jonah
you can run
but you can't hide
upon you, lies God's† eye
from one end to the next‒
He† does not change His† tide
He† remains the same‒
in all colors of die
no use in the pretend‒
no use in loud or shy
His† call to you to ride–
to accept or to deny
you'll pay with your life
eternity in die
eternity in the light
you have that right
‒that calling comes
from really high‒
you can run
but you can't hide
you...He'll† seek and find
throw you in perils of life
'til you accept with every sigh
cry little birdie...cry
'til you get the right high
bowing your head
reaching for the sky
He'll† force your comply
He† knows your heart inside
from within or outside
important for the rise
He'll† rage the water‒
'til you submit to the cry
then you'll see‒
the beauty of the light
(August 13)―The things we do NOT listen to! Oh, my! Karen, you’re such a hard-headed child! Agreed! Agreed! The story of Jonah. That’s where I was led to this morning. I’ve written about Jonah before comparing it to the feeling of depression. That’s how I find the separate parts of each Scripture is: They tell us something different to each individual, but as a whole, the story of Jonah is much more powerful.
I’m going to look at the entire Scripture here. Choose not to read. It’s your call!
The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: ‘Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.’—Jonah 1:1,2
But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord.—Jonah 1:3
It starts of with the calling! God asks us to do something for Him. Oh, how do we know? I do not know about you, but for me it was a constant, every night before I fell asleep, never failing, the words write, teach popped into my head. That was it. Nothing more. Nothing less. For years. I argued with those words. I figured it out from whom they were from. It gave me no clarity. Just…write, teach! That was my calling.
Of course, as Jonah did, I freaking ignored, pushed it aside, refuse to acknowledge…yeah! I learned the power of God. Slowly, very slowly, the reveal! Not the books…I thought that was about my novel. Oh, how wrong I was! The teach part…I never saw myself as a teacher, but there I was teaching English. I loved it and hated it. I later learned, much later, that I was being taught human nature in a very odd way.
Everything we do happens for a reason. We can deny that of course, free will, but if it is important enough, God will change your course Himself. Oh, He did that for me! Hence, 13 books about my…MY…journey!
Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up. All the sailors were afraid and each cried out to his own god. And they threw the cargo into the sea to lighten the ship. But Jonah had gone below deck, where he lay down and fell into a deep sleep. The captain went to him and said, ‘How can you sleep? Get up and call on your god! Maybe He will take notice of us, and we will not perish.’ Then the sailors said to each other, ‘Come, let us cast lots to find out who is responsible for this calamity.’ They cast lots and the lot feel on Jonah. So they asked him, ‘Tell us, who is responsible for making all this trouble for us? What do you do? Where do you come from? What is your country? From what people are you?’ He answered, ‘I am a Hebrew and I worship the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the land.’ This terrified them and they asked, ‘What have you done?’ (They knew he was running away from the Lord, because he already told them so.)
The sea was getting rougher and rougher. So they asked him, ‘What should we do to you to make the sea calm down for us?’ ‘Pick me up and throw me into the sea,’ he replied, ‘and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you.’ Instead, the men did their best to row back to land. But they could not, for the sea grew even wilder than before. Then they cried to the Lord, ‘O Lord, please do not let us die for taking this man’s life. Do not hold us accountable for killing an innocent man, for You, O Lord, have done as You pleased.’ Then they took Jonah and threw him overboard, and the raging sea grew calm. At this the men greatly feared the Lord, and they offered a sacrifice to the Lord and made vows to Him.—Jonah 1:4-16
We don’t look at life this way anymore. I didn’t at first. After all that’s happened in my life, I tend to look at life like this. I tend to listen to that voice…that first thing I hear in my head and know that is what God wants. I tend to pay more attention to signs. If things are going wrong in my life, I’m not…NOT…doing something right. God tends to force issues. We still don’t get it that the Bible is the word of GOD. Not some random piece of literature. He tells us who He is. So…we ignore.
I was recently called a Jesus freak by a person who should know me better than anyone on earth. I’ve heard this phrase before. I’ve heard many versions of this phrase living in my home. This kind of thinking was changing who I was. God can’t allow that when it comes to people He has called. He revealed to me hypocrisy early on byway of my own home. I had to learn what that looked like.
But the Lord provided a great fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was inside the fish three days and three nights.—Jonah 1:17
So, when we deny God, when we listen to the outside world and all their hypocrisy, we struggle. Who’s going to believe us? That’s a big question we ask ourselves. I recently wrote about my heart. Of course, I’ve been writing about my health situation because it’s part of the vow I took. No more damaged heart…and still no one believes it, no one sees the full power of God. To them, what I did with the sweet man was just trash living, sexual exploit or whatever the hell they thought. The true reason…the power of love…and the message God had for him doesn’t matter to people, not even to the sweet man who mocked me, called me a witch. That fish is still waiting! But it won’t come until we ask and believe!
From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. He said: ‘In my distress I called to the Lord, and He answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help, and You listened to my cry. You hurled me into the deep, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me; all Your waves and breakers swept over me. I said, ‘I have been banished from Your sight; yet I will look again toward Your holy temple.’ The engulfing waters threatened me, the deep surround me; seaweed was wrapped around my head. To the roots of the mountains I sank down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But You brought my life up from the pit, O Lord my God. When my life was ebbing away, I remembered You, Lord, and my prayer rose to You, to Your holy temple. Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs. But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to You. What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the Lord.—Jonah 2:1-9
One of the most powerful prayers in the Bible. Jonah and Job’s story match pretty well. They both deny God, God hands them over to the devil (delivers His message by way of other people), and waits! I know this all too well. For me, fuck! I was so lost. I gave in to all forms of sin. I fell hard! HARD! Sex and wine! He stands there tapping His toe, waiting! He’s pretty freaking patient I’ve got to hand it to Him. I rocked that freaking dead horse over and over. I played in the dark, not caring, feeling empty…EMPTY! Then slowly I began to ask. I made my vow and begged my fucking head off, crying and yelling, and beating my head upon my pillow, not sleeping, seeking more pleasure from fake lust, pretending I had friends when in reality I had none. Life can get as hard as we make it. Or…as easy as we make it by asking the Lord. Of course, the longer we wait in the ask, the longer the response comes, but it does come.
And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.—Jonah 2:10
Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: ‘Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.’—Jonah 3:1,2
God does hear but we have to be sincere. He veils us for a reason. He has something for us to learn. From that lesson, we are built, we are tested: Can we be entrusted with something more important? My lessons were hard. I loved deep and no matter what was done to me, I couldn’t hate. Oh, I wanted to…BAD! But I couldn’t feel it. When it came to the sweet man, I knew there was something I had to do. I have emails that I wrote to him back in 2015 that prove that I knew that it would be spiritual. I knew I had to stay no matter what, not until I was told to leave. The power of listening is very important. Even if it sounds crazy. Even if everyone hates you for it. Even if every one thinks you’re insane, crazy, stupid. It’s not for them to judge. That test lies on them, not you. We are all tested byway of each other.
For me, the first message given to me and then again years later byway of a friend told me to write. The second message, even though I was already doing it by my writing (I was already a few years into the journey), I didn’t know exactly what I was to do, told me exactly what to do with all that writing even if it didn’t make sense to me as a whole. I had to do this. No one understood. It wasn’t for them to understand. It was for them to accept. And believe.
Instead, I get Jesus freak! When everyone should be a freak for Jesus. The evil whores of the world…of the world!…know exactly how to fuck people up! I raised my children to have an open mind but to live in Christ. I never gave them any indication that I wasn’t of God while raising them. No parent of Christ does. We do lose it here and there. I cuss. Confuses the hell out of people. I believe now that is the whole point. Will people condemn me for cussing yet they themselves live in the dark? Think about that. It’s like the biker all decked out in tats and shit, likes to drink get a little rowdy, but would bend over backwards to ensure you are safe, help needy children, go out of his way to give you the shirt off his back…when a man who goes to church in a suit would take that last penny you had without a second thought. Truth. I’d rather be considered a Jesus freak than live my life in greed, selfishness, hypocrisy…I’m going for the light! That would be the eternal one!
Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and sent to Nineveh. Now Nineveh was a very important city―a visit required three days. On the first day, Jonah started into the city. He proclaimed: ‘Forty more days and Nineveh will be overturned.’ The Ninevites believed God. They declared a fast, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth.—Jonah 3:3-5
When the news reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust. Then he issued a proclamation in Nineveh: ‘By the decree of the king and his nobles: Do not let any man or beast, herd or flock, taste anything; do not let them eat or drink. But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from His fierce anger so that we will not perish.’—Jonah 3:6-9
When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, He had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction He had threatened.—Jonah 3:10
But Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry. He prayed to the Lord, ‘O Lord, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, O Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.’ But the Lord replied, ‘Have you any right to be angry?’—Jonah 4:1-4
The Ninevites…some good people. They knew exactly who God was and they weren’t going to fool around with the spiritual rem. This is the tricky part. When we are given messages to give, they are really put into our hearts deep where we know that we HAVE to deliver it. It’s scary as fuck! You have no idea. I didn’t understand this at first when my friend delivered the message to me. Now I do. We deliver messages to people, individuals. The prophets of the Bible had to deliver messages to entire people!
Here’s the BIG deal: Delivering messages to a people, they are told that if they don’t change their ways, destruction will come. So, it’s shown in the Bible, Jeremiah being one of them, where they didn’t listen and destruction came! Here, the Ninevites listened so destruction didn’t come! That’s the whole point, right? Well, think of the person delivering the message. You deliver a message, the person receiving the message listens and nothing drastic happens. Well, instead of them seeing the reality of it by way of the spiritual rem, they just see it as you’re full of shit. I’ve seen it the other way around, where you deliver a message and they don’t believe you. Me, I’ve never come out and said, ‘Hey, I received a message from God and I think you should listen.’ No. I didn’t know that what I was being sent was actual messages. I had emotions. That was it. I now have learned different, but years and years ago…I just knew to tell someone something. Hence, being called ‘miss know it all’ or insensitive, etc. etc.
I’m not embarrassed to talk about this. Most people are. Evil will come get us. Really! Evil will come get us anyway if we don’t reveal how God works to those who don’t know! It is that simple! So we can be angry all we want. What God does through us is always for the bigger of the human race even if it seems so small. And He can use each and every one of us as He chooses.
Using myself as an example. I went through shit with the ex, wrote books, began the journey of healing and listened and understood the signs as they were given. I proved worthy to do something more important, hence the sweet man. People and even the sweet man himself can look at that as crazy, whatever…I know different. God comes to each of us silently. The shrink world likes to tell people if they concentrate too much on GOD we have serious issues. In reality of the spiritual world which exist beyond this material world of shit, they have serious issues NOT including God in all that they do! Fuck that…lock me up…I really don’t give a shit because when this body dies, I’m going home where my Father lives! I experienced what that evil shit whore can do and to live like that for eternity, over and over that fucking battle, no thank you! So call me Jesus freak! Oh, hell yes! I’ll walk right into that shit!
Jonah went out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. Then the Lord God provided a vine and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the vine. But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the vine so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah’s head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, ‘It would be better for me to die than to live.’ But God said to Jonah, ‘Do you have a right to be angry about the vine?’ ‘I do,’ he said. ‘I am angry enough to die.’ But the Lord said, ‘You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city.’—Jonah 4:5-11
The worms! This is like the third time worms or the idea of them have come into my life within the last week…in Scripture and in a horrible dream! So, I look at this part being really a yelling at Karen sort of thing!
In me, God planted the writing seed and forced it to grow. Then I had to take over. Trust me when I say I’ve never been alone on this journey. I used to think I was alone. I now know different. And it’s comforting to know or to learn so much about myself, the why behind certain likes I’ve had, have, the reason why I knew things I shouldn’t have. It’s comforting. So now I’ve written these books and I’m resting, writing here and there, learning more about who I am as a person, that’s all I’m doing. I have the video camera but I’m not interested right now. Then comes Jonah 4:5-11. God has given me so many words…so many beautiful words, so much knowledge. He’s unveiled so much to me. And I see Him: Karen, wth? You have this fuck-you attitude in writing, why can’t you take it to the next level? No. He wouldn’t say it in those terms but I think you get the point.
I guess I’m just not ready for the hypocrites to attack me. Like getting you’re a Jesus freak taking Jesus’ name in profane….blasphemy…without even thinking that it is evil to say such a thing in the manner in which it was said. It’s the same as blaming me for changing your faith to NOT believing in Jesus or God! No. That can’t happen. Anyway. If you knew who God was, you wouldn’t have any place to say that anyway. People just don’t think these days.
Jonah. Job. They are yelling at you to understand. Why create more stories? One book is all that is needed. The ignorance lies on the people. Not God. He’s given you what you need. And you think the shit that happens to you is because of bad luck or freak accidents or whatever. Yeah, right. Go on believing that. But remember: Your time comes. Oh, meaning your freaking body stops! And it’s never warned when that will happen. Do you think your body just gets put into earth and the worms consume everything? Like you are no longer matter? Go on believing that. I know different.
PS. Back to the videos. I’m not doing them until someone comes into my life to support me. I’ve done enough on my own. The power of three. Notice the power of three in these Scriptures. I believe…I’ll soon get the help I need!