A sample from Book 7
Knowing is Living
if you're stuck
at a place
for your stay
the longer you wait
‒longer you'll suffocate
look deep in your face
beyond flesh and bone‒
beyond memories you chase
you want to erase
beyond a past
that did not last
deeper you must go
it's no one's race
but your own
when you're at
a constant steadfast
way down deep
you must surpass
something to grasp
so a future
you can earn
living in emptiness
look at self
get off the damn shelf
reveal your hidden secret
open your eyes
your new life is ready
‒a steady, slow pace
for you to take
nothing's at stake
your inside wealth
for you've already earned
what in your heart
it's all up to you
(March 29, 2015)—[‘Knowing is Living’ was written November 27, 2014.] I’m on my [fourth] year…2012 (complete darkness), 2013 (a mixture), 2014 (more light than dark), 2015 (still no total of light).
For me, having fibro doesn’t help the healing get anywhere fast. Having PTSD doesn’t either. This is hard to talk about, hard to admit to myself, but it’s fact. I’ve struggled through jobs, struggled through several uninteresting semi-courtships. I thought I was ready for something a little longer. Nope. The PTSD handled that really quick.
As you can see from the date of this work, I was ready to sprout back in 2014, then I went back to teaching. Big mistake. After that I moved too fast in a courtship and now I’m here…sitting alone wondering WTF! I guess it’s time to listen to the mocking birds take care of yourself. At times, I’m not a good listener. Rereading this work clears my head a bit. Moving in with my daughter and getting rid of this big apartment expense…all leads to where I’ve been wanting to go for years.
I sent an email to the dean of the Creative Writing department at the local university asking for a informal meeting. I had applied back in 1997 to pursue my masters and PhD and was accepted on just my 30 pages of writing that I sent. I didn’t go, of course, because [x] asked me to work instead. Sacrifice made in vain.
So, I live right here, less than a 10-minute walk to the local university. I’ve been here [one] year and [six] months. It’s time for this big change. I’m scared to death, but everything seems to be leading up to this. My daughter came home last semester and said: Mom, my English professor got her PhD at age 70!Is that a final hint or what? I’m a good teacher. I think I’d be a good professor (a teacher without the long hours of a high school teacher) and I think it would propel my writing. So, I’m taking the next step. My only advice: Don’t be afraid.
Afraid has kept me locked in this apartment for almost a year. I did get out. I did open up and it got me locked down again. Why? Because self is not healed. So, don’t be like me and ignore…listen take care of self.
Get Your Copy Today!
Paperback: Silent Abuse: Scream NO MORE!: You’re in Depression. You’re Not Losing Your Mind. You’re Just Doing the Time. Book 7
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Additional Readings On Improving Self and Going After That Dream
(Each page has loads of additional books (in every format), videos, instruction materials, and inspiration gift ideas.):
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success by Amy Morin
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle
A Woman of Substance by Barbara Taylor-Bradford
Become a Better You: 7 Keys to Improving Your Life Every Day by Joel Osteen
Beloved by Toni Morrison
Fearless by Max Lucado
Fifty Shades of Grey by E. J. James
How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life by Susan Piver
How Successful People Win by Ben Stein
How To See Yourself As You Really Are by The Dalai Lama
Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg
Love is Letting Go of Fear by Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D.
Rich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids about Money—That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not! by Robert T. Kiyosaki
Ship of Gold in the Deep Blue Sea by Gary Kinder
Shop Class as Soulcraft: An Inquiry into the Value of Work by Matthew B. Crawford
The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich by Timothy Ferriss
The Third Wave: An Entrepreneur’s Vision of the Future by Steve Case
Tuesdays With Murray: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life’s Greatest Lesson by Mitch Albom
Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson, M. D.
You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living An Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
You can’t Pay Your Credit Card Bill with a Credit Card and Other Habits of The Financially Confident Woman by Mary Hunt
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