Tag: family

‘Backlash’ (Crucifixion Vision)

You must learn to fight with your mind!

 Backlash
  
 He's† coming
His† fierce wrath
 –a warning
that will steal your laugh
  
 He's† waited
as you gently
took your bath
 seeing you
enjoy your treasures
He's glad
  
 His† simplicity‒
 riddled with an interesting sass
 if you fall too far behind
on the graph
 He† has an unwavering strap
 administered by
a father's unconditional love‒
 in a dash
 giving you a chance
to bounce back
 from your deep, darkened nap
  
 but you haven't read
the telegraph
 you haven't heard
the endless knocking raps
 you haven't heard
the crash, the clash
 or the blast
 you haven't even heard
the slush
 of His† slow drag
  
 instead
you waddle like an ass
 pretending to celebrate
honor His† flag
 while others...with a bat
so willing to bash
  
 round and round
 lap after lap
 slowly distorting Him†
in every class
 mixing it all up–
 commoners can't even grasp
 leaving it all
to be given in mass
 not willing
to take on the task
 –it's all been a trap
  
 the mark of the beast–
 will be an easy lash
 they will be willing–
 without any wording sass
 let alone
a flame from a shiny blast
  
 how to measure gullibility–
 the strength needed
to cure this rash
 will take more
than attending a mass
 or around waist
wrapping a sash
  
 in the mind
will come the nag
 –a played-out invisible rag
 strange thoughts
making a face sag
 doubt...oh! how nasty!
its constant drag
 heaviness and confusion–
 mixing it all up in lag
  
 there's a better way to combat
 this dark invisible rag
 –powers hidden
once sealed–
 too high to be grasped
 it's now time
to bathe in its vast
 opening it up–
 the vaults...down...smash
  
 mind for mind...slash
 taking control back
 before the Lamb† comes
in a flash
 open up for a higher stash
 –sorting through trash
 with an energy in splash
  
 yes, He's† coming
 a warning in passing
 a chance to be given
for a new class
 a higher way
fighting in blast
 a choice in self's brass
 –thrive in eternity's musical jazz
 or fall in evil's
forever fire-pitting trap

(August 24, 2019)―Wow! is how today began. A jolting out of bed at 4 a.m. to write. I didn’t want to get up. Three times I was literally jolted out of bed. I finally got up and I’ve been writing ever since. That’s what I’m suppose to do: keep writing.

I mentioned in a few writings that I’ll eventually have a section on here about my meditation journey…it will either be in a category or an entire section to itself. All I know is that I’m on an extraordinary journey and I’ve been on this journey for years now, only this time it’s elevated, and I’m to share the entire process here.

Continue reading “‘Backlash’ (Crucifixion Vision)”

‘Testing Will’

Testimony: One of God’s messengers. Saying YES to the Big Man Upstairs…no matter what! My 4-year journey for love, no matter the consequences!

 Testing Will
  
 He† knows me deep within
 He† knows I'd give in
 then...feel the guilt of sin
  
 He† held me
within this evil den
 all along–
 as I felt alone and abandoned
 as I cried and cried
struggling, fighting
 –evil's bid to win
  
 four years in this brethren
 a feel of insanity's hymn
 negative thoughts...pounding
 smothered in foreign emotions
 evil aware of the reason
 –knowing
the purpose of my season
  
 sometimes
losing it without praying
 lost in extreme's commotion
 at me...came every explanation
 learning my self
in its manipulation
  
 evil tried to win
 it tried everything
 digging its teeth within
  
 my angels were fighting
 holding me in their wings
 'til I was in delivering
 –my will weakening...strengthening
 a day-to-day variation
 –wanting it all to end
  
 this sixth sense
gave its warning
 the stay kept on coming
 along with each
secretive manifestation
in hiding
 as anxiety and panic
kept attacking
  
 my self-esteem
furiously stripping
 burying me in ignoring
 playing in my sexuality–
 what was left
of its intention
 through emotional baiting
fight's annihilation
 this dizzying world
kept me sinking
 'til my hands
living in jittering
 my eyes...blurring, drying
 my hair in constant falling
 my weight in agonizing gaining
 my chest in heavy palpitations
 my body lost
in fatigue's aggravation
 my mind fighting negative
horrid inventions
 my mouth became
acid's salutation
 from yelling, screaming
foul annotations
 to a vicious appeal
in chanting
  
 I held on tight
to the calling
 knowing...soon...it was ending
 pleading and begging
 praying and sleeping
 dreaming and imagining
 –holding on to
the coming glorification
  
 packing and moving
 God's† quick verification
 to do it
even through questioning, doubting
 –it all wasn't fabrication
 or some childish exaggeration
 but a purposeful delivering intention
 –a message coming through....
 fighting evil's blocking mechanism
 for a soul in saving
 me: a favor in returning
 as God's† hardened instrumentation
  
 I took it in breaking
 codependency's formulation
 –holding on tight
to God's† coming verification
 all...
leading to enlightening, awakening
 a coming out
spiritual connection
  

My Continued Spiritual Journey and My Latest Revelations…Because God Said So!

(June 13-July 6, 2019)―In this article: I will recap some events that led up to today where I’m sitting; I will show and explain how numbers work when it comes to messages and I will show how signs work (I’ve included pictures to demonstrate what I’m talking about); I will talk about the veils; I will talk about receiving messages and delivering them; and I will reveal God’s Grace once again, and how He shows His gratitude when we do what He wants us to do. So, sit back, grab a cup of coffee (because this is a very long work), and get ready to be amazed! God is powerful. God is just. God is sincere. God makes a promise and shows His mercy and delivers once we complete our vows and/or the missions that He requests from us. Learning to listen is key!

Continue reading “‘Testing Will’”

Commentaries: Matthew 13:44-46

[k. e. leger’s Note: This article and all that goes with it from biblehub.com is not originally written in the English language. It was translated and I will correct spelling and punctuation as in keeping with the meaning of their content. In some places, I had to let it be. I hope that you enjoy this piece anyway. This goes with my article title ‘Discovering the Hidden Treasure in Yourself’.]

Ellicott’s Commentary [Introduction]

The kingdom of heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field.—Probably no parable in the whole series came more home to the imagination of the disciples than this. Every village had its stories of men who had become suddenly rich by finding some hidden hoard that had been hastily concealed in time of war or tumult.

Then, as now, there were men who lived in the expectation of finding such treasures, and every traveler who was seen searching in the ruins of an ancient town was supposed to be hunting after them. As far back as the days of Solomon, such a search had become a parable for the eager pursuit of wisdom (Proverbs 2:4).

Continue reading “Commentaries: Matthew 13:44-46”

‘Knife’

Surviving the Knife of Those Who Betray You!

A sample from Book 12

(April 21, 2018)—That knife becomes weaker when we gain the support of others, when we start to see the true meaning behind our life. That knife doesn’t come out that easy especially when you see everyone’s true disclosure.

There’s so much to say, then there’s nothing to say. I have this much on my mind: If they don’t want to see you, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, they won’t see you.

I’ve said a lot here on Facebook. I revealed a lot…but there’s a lot I haven’t revealed. So you only get a piece of the puzzle…never the whole picture. Why? Because I do have a life and part of that life is private as for everyone else. There’s a lot of pain I cover up…and, yes, there is still pain. There will always be pain because an entire portion of my life has been wiped out…and not by choice.

I tried calling my daughter. It appears that she’s changed her number. I think that odd because the words I last typed her in text were answers to words she said to me, but I’m held totally accountable. Why? Oh, because I’m 49 years old and should know better. I’m the mom…but that doesn’t come into affect when I’m called by my name instead of Mom. Just saying….

 Knife
  
 it was put in there‒ 
nice and tight
 when I move around
to the left, to the right
 it reveals its price
 ‒how it changed my life
 the strength it took‒ 
robbing my mind
 the way it makes me wanna fight
 even if it isn't right
 even if I said...say...things impolite
 I was...am...gonna fight
 ‒even while speaking of the light
  
 at times, I feel like a poltergeist
 a faded memory...sliced and diced
 forgotten the way I was
 forever entombed in what I've become
 not a homicide
 ‒a genocide of all that was nice
 womanly, motherly...dignified
 downgraded to a parasite
 ‒not fit for normal's life
  
 should I be lost in contrite
 bowed down in pity...outright
 or was I absolutely right
turning childlike
 begging for help‒ 
from Jesus Christ†
  
 who has the right to decide‒ 
I'm the sacrifice
 in order for them‒ 
to have their paradise
  
 who had the right‒ 
shift truth to lies
 bury this knife
in what used to be‒
 a mother, sister, daughter, wife
  
 in me...it so mystifies
 how everyone becomes tongue-tied
 when abuse is in transcribe
 ‒the victim screams in alive
 how extreme...me...it mortifies
 that, no matter which way‒ 
death...comes in die
 twist, twist, twist the knife
 gone daughter, sister, mother, wife
  
 rebuilding exemplified
the alibis become jives
 words in wisdom...just implied
 while words...wombs...rob the mind
 memories of building the first life‒
 took one times forty-five
  
 pull, pull, pull out the knife
time in modify
 is there another forty-five
 my, my, my how it mystifies
 what comes of‒ 
pulling out the knife
Continue reading “‘Knife’”

‘Ex-foliate My Soul’

You have to leave others out of ‘self’!

A sample from Book 12

 Ex‒foliate My Soul
  
 I still hear the winds blow
 I know, still, from and to
the direction it goes
 I depend, too much
on human souls
 ‒directing my emotional role
  
 these feet‒ 
so stuck in muddy ground
 I've lost the feelings
of being found
 trying to understand
hear...every sound
 I've stumbled away
from which I'm bound
  
 raise me up, oh Lord†
 unclog‒ 
these maggot-filled holes
 rub your sands deeply in‒
 pull me out
as you wash away clean
 the filth
of this infested bowl
 help me again‒ 
feel fit and lean
 where I once had strength
of a lion
 ‒the sanctuary
of a crystal clear stream
  
 enlighten my heart, sweet Jesus†
 relight this drive
I so carelessly left behind
 enrich my soul
wash away the corrode
 so me, in ease, I can stand
on my own two feet
 understand words in my heart
 having strength to sort
 ‒without falling apart
  
 yes, Lord†, raise my tempo back up
 so I can feel, once more
the unstoppable me
 ‒that pure individual feeling
of being free
 without the need
of another's glee
  
 I open me up‒ 
mind, body, soul
 I'm, again, letting go
 so...whichever the winds blow
 matter is not needed
 for I'll be free again‒
 in the total of
letting go
Continue reading “‘Ex-foliate My Soul’”

‘Thank You for the Time’

Let yourself learn from the lessons given!

A sample from Book 12

  Thank You for the Time
  
 I often mix up the rhyme
 wanting the rhythm
in times
 then I think
this life of mine
 has to end some time
  
 thank you, Lord†, for the time
 the silence
the frozen bones
 thinking deep...on my own
 without stories to tell
 ‒just a visit home
  
 thank you, Lord†, for this time
 everyone has seeds sewn
 everyone to everyone...cloned
 beeps from a wireless phone
 passing on‒ 
without really being known
  
 I thank you anyway, Lord†
for this time
 for bleak bitterness
in my mind
 for the tearing love
in my heart
 ‒I once fought so hard
feeling so torn apart
 in this space...I am caught
 reading words‒ 
to me...once taught
  
 thank you, Lord†
my lessons are mine
 listening deep‒ 
watching go by...the time
 wondering if enough‒ 
I've been kind
  
 no backwards
only forwards
 can I move the line
 taking the lessons‒ 
building new rhyme
 understanding the journey
 through time
is not just mine
  
 thank you, Lord Jesus†
 for all those moments
in time
 I'll bring them all in
 play with them
in my mind
then cherish the rhyme
 after all, You've† given me
the time
Continue reading “‘Thank You for the Time’”

‘Allegorium’

What it takes to keep love!

A sample from Book 11

 Allegorium
 
  
 (what is it in life
 if you can't tell
wrong from right
 to see in sight
what is of great heights
 to know
from a wrong fight
and a right fight
 ‒one worth the cry
one not worth the try)
  
 there was a yell, a scream
an act of rage
 mixed in scents of sage
  
 she would leave
she would leave today
 her bags...she began to pack
 ‒the stress off her back
  
 she voiced everything
she wanted to sack
 her mind lost in a haze
 remembering
all those great days
 ‒reasons why she stayed
  
 anger filled in a maze
this way, that way
 ‒which path to take
  
 wanting to run
 in spite of the fun
 then in comes the pun‒ 
standing eye to eye
 tears suddenly
fill in cry
  
 we just can't be together  

 shaking
coming from deep inside

 I know 

 each not willing to move‒ 
standing their ground
 knowing
without making a sound
 it all comes down
to mixes in race
 different traditions
different tastes
  
 but that's just the base
 to what lies beneath‒
 experiences
in the lace
  
 wanting her to stay
 knowing
his moments in rage
 ‒can't keep her in a cage
 from her mind
it won't fade
 searching
for words to say
  
 wanting nothing in fright
 in his dark eyes‒ 
seeing the willing light
 wanting her to seek it
 please make it bright
 understand the hard in my life
 for it, I had to fight
 sealing up everything inside
  
 confusion succumbed‒ 
the sudden in rays
 from his silent, pleading glaze
 it's not just his aces and eights
 that's on the take
  
 she adds up the sum
to it, he wasn't dumb
 every piece, every crumb
has to be sorted‒
 to smooth out
the constant lump
  
 another chance
another steady ride
 taking each side
 ‒what's buried in hide
 no matter how many lows and highs
 wobbling
through pass homicides
 all those moments‒ 
others confused their minds
 making them want to pounce‒
 in anger...quickly dive
  
 thinking through it‒ 
hearing every sound
 warnings, confusion, heart‒
 feeling the surface of found
 wondering where its bound
this constant round
 has to sooner or later
release its hound
 when wanting to stay
is all around
  
 softly relaxing
the lines on her face
 that unconditional
is not in a trace
 ‒it's in the base
of foundation's lace
 without living in a race
  
 what others see as a toxic tray
 may just be
the difference in race
 in raised traditional's case
 ‒angers set in
wanting to be erased
  
 each learning to let go‒
 what once slapped them
in the face
 releasing anger's ways
 that keeps trapping them
in a haze
 ‒exploding in a blaze
  
 what is it in life
 if you can't tell
wrong from right
 to see in sight
what is of great heights
 ‒to know Jesus'† life
why for us, He† died
  
 love is worth the ride
for it, pay the price
 for the reward
   everlasting life
Continue reading “‘Allegorium’”

‘Hands to Hold’

Is race going to continue to rule your life?

A sample from Book 10

 Hands to Hold
  
 you come at me
 you're not discrete
bold...unsure
  
 maybe there's a gun in my hand
 maybe I've some contraband
  
 or maybe I just like hands in pocket
 or wearing my earphones in my car
 so I can answer this here phone
 for this car absent of bluetooth–
 protecting me and you
  
 or maybe you're angry– 
having a bad day
 I pass your way
 through your veins runs hate
 so I become your play
  
 I'm just like you‒
 generation after generation
 passed through
without obligations
 to changing the view
  
 –it all seems like voodoo
 we both– 
not really having a clue
 ‒taking it upon ourselves
 get off that dusty shelf
change the view
 so our kids
won't suffer too
  
 maybe I do have a gun
 –anger raging in stun
 do you see inside of me
 my hard history
maybe my hand shakes
 though you can't see
 –you're so angry
 not seeing what's at stake
  
 maybe I did some drugs–
 stopping the pain
 keeping from going insane
 but soothing I didn't gain
 all looks like a game
 emotions adding to more pain
  
 then you come along
 thinking I'm a thug
 you want to cut me down‒
 stump me like a bug
 without knowing the deal at home
 why I'm here– 
a gun...all alone
  
 maybe don't yell
 talk...love– 
let it swell
  
 instead of jail– 
lead my soul to help
 without making me
hate myself
  
 I, too, want peace
 between you and me
  
 maybe instead of arrogance‒
 show understanding
compassion
  
 I don't want a free ride
 just a reason...inside
not to cry
  
 I am tough
I've got muscles, tats
 my life has been rough
 –crazy and all that
 it doesn't mean
I'm just stuff
to pluck
  
 a handshake
a hug
  
 –that just might be
enough
  
 I'm a human being
 I don't mean to sting
  
 just a little bitter
 please, your anger–
 could you reconsider
  
 look at me for me
God's† child
 making my way...like you
 through the miles
  
 –the past is gone
this is now
 together– 
we can make it all
worth while
 if we just remain calm–
 approach each other
in mild
 without death coming in fowl
Continue reading “‘Hands to Hold’”

‘Knowing is Living’

Don’t be afraid to follow your heart!

A sample from Book 7

 Knowing is Living
  
 if you're stuck
at a place
 know
there's reason
for your stay
  
 the longer you wait
 ‒longer you'll suffocate
 look deep in your face
beyond flesh and bone‒
 beyond memories you chase
 beyond hurt
you want to erase
 beyond a past
that did not last
  
 deeper you must go
 for life
again
to flow
  
 it's no one's race
but your own
  
 when you're at
a constant steadfast
 there's something
way down deep
 you must surpass
something to grasp
 ‒learn
so a future
you can earn
  
 stop complaining
living in emptiness
 look at self
get off the damn shelf
 you again
build
all else
seal
  
 beyond face
look deeper
 reveal your hidden secret
bloom
 open your eyes
see
 your new life is ready
waiting‒
 ‒a steady, slow pace
for you to take
 nothing's at stake
 but self
your inside wealth
 listen...hear
for you've already earned
 what in your heart
burns
 your fruits‒ 
it's all up to you
Continue reading “‘Knowing is Living’”

‘Spaces of Real’

That place where you are no longer hurting!

A sample from Book 7

 Spaces of Real
  
 where do you fit in
 when you're searching
for truth
 –all seems a flute
  
 when you're pushing– 
revealing all you do
 just to get through
  
 when you talk to God†
 –each day
 just getting by
 wondering
how
this day
you survived
  
 knowing
because of someone else
 tears you try
not to cry
  
 over anger
you become
a hardened manager
 wondering
what it is
 that's
lost inside of you
  
 yes, where do you fit in
 –this society of fake
 lost in its self-absorbed wake
  
 when men are weak
 constantly
searching
 something always better
they seek
  
 hanging you out to dry
 without reasons of why
  
 leaving you
constantly
searching
 for spaces of real
 where there's no reason
to conceal
 what's truly hiding
deep inside
Continue reading “‘Spaces of Real’”