‘Spaces to Stay’

Believing in love is hard after being let down. Sometimes, we just have to throw our hands up and trust in God’s plan. Those who don’t see God’s plan: they just keep going round and round. Trust in that Jesus Love. He’ll come through when He knows we are ready.

 Spaces to Stay
 
I wanted to think
you cared
I wanted to believe
I was more than a barbie doll
to stare
I wanted to be in arms
somewhere...anywhere
just to feel accepted
–not just in skin...bare
 
I was wrong
 
a constant staring in air
playing dress up–
fixing my hair
without a soul to care
 
just once...wanting to be
more than just a dare
to not dawn sex to wear
–just being there
believing...I'm finally
free of the tear
leaving behind
every frightful scare
that I'd be left
for another in bare
 
I was wrong
 
the weakest link–
everywhere
the spear always wanting
to be somewhere
–in a different anywhere
 
in blank spaces I stare
voiding empty glares
all those running
to somewhere
spreading themselves
anywhere
–getting no wheres

‘Equal Parts’

God is waiting on you and you are taking too long to respond. He’s given you adequate proof that what is sent through me is from Him. Time is ticking. The button has been pushed. It’s up to you to decipher what He has sent thus far. He already knows that your faith is weak. He already knows how many people will die. Will you be one of them? You have a chance to change that number…more or less?

NOTE: Every word here is God’s message, not mine. I was to include how I feel and background information. Every link added here was by request from David to ensure that you KNOW that this is important. I’m also repeating myself again…this is very important. What I REPEAT, HE WANTS you to really know!

(October 4)—God’s time is not ours. I waited yesterday for someone to show up because I was told they would. (The numbers 3 and 13 played an important role in this event, so I was sure it was going to happen.) I cried because I felt betrayed when they didn’t show up by 10 p.m. I said my peace to the Lord, letting Him know I was not happy, even though He already knew. Then I fell asleep for the first time in a very long time without a sleep aid.

I was awakened at 3:13 a.m.! I realized they didn’t show up, but I wasn’t as upset as I was before I fell asleep. I realized that it was a test of my true knowledge, but I still cried a little more, said more of my peace, which isn’t that great, then went back to sleep. I wasn’t going to write anymore. I swore I wouldn’t accept this person back into my life if they did show up because the day was over, the chance was gone!

When I woke up for the last this morning, all those angry thoughts were gone. No matter what I think, I can’t betray the Lord. It’s just how I’m built. I went over all the things that transpired this past week, and realized I was used to test others and I was tested, as well,  for my own good. It doesn’t matter what we think to ourselves or out loud to the Lord, we are still forgiven. We just have to forgive ourselves.

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‘Share Grace—Repent’

To repent and forgive ourselves and others is really hard, but a must and it takes courage and a warrior heart. Do you have it?

(September 27, 2019)–Jackie Robinson: Dodger’s #42! I watched the movie 42 last night and was in awe. God sure does make His stand through us. Branch Rickey, the general manger of the Dodgers at the time, was one hell of a God instrument. In one part of the movie, Jackie asked Rickey why did he do it?, take a chance on a black man. And Rickey told him about Charlie, a black player during his college years. Charlie was harassed to the max and Rickey didn’t do anything about it, he didn’t know what to do. He was finally at a place in life where he could do something about it. What was the it? Defeat racism in sports of course. Rickey said that what he witnessed happening to Charlie made him dislike the game because baseball was supposed to be a game of fairness. He told Jackie that Jackie made him love the game again.

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‘I Work For You’

Keep pushing through. The gifts a waiting are far more than you ever dreamed. Cry, scream, slam your fist into walls…know it will be okay. Your life is just beginning.—kel

(September 8, 2019)–Breathe. It’s okay.

Then Jesus said to His host, ‘When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid, but when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.—Luke 14:12-14

 I Work For You
 
I'm here
struggling, too
run, jump...come through
my energy
I pass to you
in flight
I visit you
my love
I give to you
helping you get through
 
I work for you
say prayers in twos
we said our adieus
not in words of true
but in faces of blue
as pride and ego
forced the cue
–what's already written
in the book of truth
 
I know you see it, too
you feel my energy–
in heart, get through
leaving you
in tads of confuse
run, jump...come through
–it's the spirit of soothe
passing it all to you
 
look to the morning doves‒
as on the ground...lies the dew
no need to kneel in a pew
just look up‒
they are watching you
even hearing
what you're thinking, too
 
I work for you
in a manifestation clue
run, jump...come through
it'll be okay
whatever you're going through
keep going‒
the time line is right on cue
I'll be waiting for you
through all your doubt‒
through all the emotions
that swarm you‒
give it to the words do
God's† waiting on you
urgency in time's review
as I lay...working for you
knowing you'll get through
‒forgiven...will be
all your past dues

‘Channel’

Don’t Change Your Independent Self Because Of A Man

(May 9, 2019)―It’s funny how life repeats itself when we don’t learn the lesson the first time around. The funny thing for me is that I wrote about this before. I guess it pays to write about it again. The woman and all of her charm and personality has a way of turning into the woman her man wants her to be. Hold on before you scream: That’s not true. I do have a very good point.

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‘Love in Action’

Actions, In Spite of Resentment, Still Say LOVE

(April 30, 2019)―Resentment. I’ve written a lot about resentment in Book 12. It’s part of the codependency deal. A codependent will give and give without thinking of themselves and then they begin to resent it because they carry the expectation of being given in return. Of course, the given in return doesn’t happen most of the time. A codependent is a bit fucked up in a sense because of this expectation.

I’ve written many poems about letting go and having zero expectations. That’s because it’s part of the fight to break codependency. I’ve been judged a lot when it comes to my writings by those I love. They really don’t understand the process. My writings are about feelings or emotions in the moment during this struggle of healing. When I read some of it, it hurts me, too. But that is the whole point…writing every single feeling/emotion down in order for myself and others to see ourselves and understand what we are feeling. If that makes sense.

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‘What Comes Out’

Anger: How Changing This One Emotion Can Change Your Entire Life!

(April 27, 2019)―There are 2 large garbage cans that came with the house I live in. When we first moved in, they were in the corner of the garage. The side where I park my car. My car door opens up to the wall side of the garage. I have boxes stacked in there, which I never unpacked also on the side where I park my car. About a month ago, we were told by the landlord that we had to clean up the backyard. After the winter, the pine needles and pine cones had added up. So, in order to make my job a little easier, I moved the garbage cans to the side of the house, inside the metal gate. Since, they were out of the way in the garage, I moved over some boxes, which made getting out of my car easier.

On garbage day this past week, the sweet man brought in the garbage cans from the road. I was grateful, except he put them back in the garage, moving the boxes back to where they were, which made getting out of my car difficult. Anger. I got out of my car. Yanked the garaged cans back outside and commenced to grabbing some empty boxes from his side of the garage and scattered them behind his vehicle. Why? At the time, and when he questioned me, to show him what being inconvenienced feels like.

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‘Hidden Treasure’

Discovering the Hidden Treasure in Yourself!

(April 17, 2019)―Life Is Preserved By Righteousness. Righteousness is Obedience. Recognizing God’s Healing Power. Knowing Forgiveness is Available. Forgiveness Is A Must In Self and In World Peace.

Parable of Hidden TreasureThe kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.—Matthew 13:44

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Commentaries: Matthew 13:44-46

[k. e. leger’s Note: This article and all that goes with it from biblehub.com is not originally written in the English language. It was translated and I will correct spelling and punctuation as in keeping with the meaning of their content. In some places, I had to let it be. I hope that you enjoy this piece anyway. This goes with my article title ‘Discovering the Hidden Treasure in Yourself’.]

Ellicott’s Commentary [Introduction]

The kingdom of heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field.—Probably no parable in the whole series came more home to the imagination of the disciples than this. Every village had its stories of men who had become suddenly rich by finding some hidden hoard that had been hastily concealed in time of war or tumult.

Then, as now, there were men who lived in the expectation of finding such treasures, and every traveler who was seen searching in the ruins of an ancient town was supposed to be hunting after them. As far back as the days of Solomon, such a search had become a parable for the eager pursuit of wisdom (Proverbs 2:4).

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The Case of the Buried Treasure

by Ray Stedman, Authentic Christianity

[k. e. leger Note: This article was written June 27, 1971. Please take note how this article, written 48 years ago, still holds true today. This really helps us to understand the struggle with Israel, and why the governments are acting the way they are. This goes with my article titled ‘Discovering the Hidden Treasure in Yourself.’]

In the great series of parables in Matthew 13 our Lord gave us, as He said, ‘The secrets of the kingdom of heaven.’ The kingdom of heaven is God’s work among men, God’s rule and authority in the midst of human affairs. In this series, Jesus is revealing the work of the kingdom as it is going on throughout the centuries of this present age since His first coming and before His return. We come to the fifth parable this morning, the parable of the buried treasure.

I don’t know what that may evoke in your mind. It always reminds me immediately of Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island, of Long John Silver, and doubloons and pieces-of-eight, peg-leg pirates, and all the exciting things usually associated with the idea of buried treasure. It is intriguing to realize that Scripture deals with this subject as well. It recognizes the allure and the mystery, which always gathers around the notion of hidden treasure. God has His buried treasures and He is speaking of them in this parable.

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