‘Pillars of Death’

Depression: The Feeling of Your Own Death!

A sample from Book 7

 Pillars of Death
 
I'm an apparent suicide
who took
everything buried inside
‒sprayed it out
like pesticide
 
they call it a homicide
raging words
was all it took
for love to dry
‒leaving only tears
to cry
 
slowly I died
asking every kind of why
 
why only anger's words
was enough
to cast me aside
 
why my truth
was reason
my life
‒its very existence
to hide
 
my being
no longer resides
in hearts
I believed
could override
evil's prancing stride
 
they all cast me aside
for thoughts...words
I could no longer
hold inside
 
instead of holding me
as these eyes cried
they buried me
‒an unmarked grave
deep outside
with bugs and flies

(December 5, 2014)—Today is one of those emotional days. A woman in her 40’s has to face them if she likes it or not. But is it just hormones? It’s getting closer to Christmas. I have come to hate the idea of Christmas. I used to cherish it. I used to decorate and enjoy people coming to my home and feel love and joy.

Mama always made Christmas special, and she embedded that in me. Now, it’s different. I spoke to my mama last night and she asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told her nothing. I bought myself a new bike and a computer. That’s all the material things I need. But, I guess there is something I want. Truth. I want an explanation to why they so easily buried me. Isn’t that something I deserve?

I’m in the process of healing. Isn’t it only fair to have my family help me? Why did they betray me? I wrote ‘Pillars of Death’ earlier this year. My poetry dealing with family is a mixture of sad and happy. They are not [an] easy read for me because they always leave me asking myself: What did I ever do to deserve to be cased out the way they cased me out of their life?

I want them to anty up and go to my used-to-be home with their trucks and collect the rest of my things and show up here and say: We believe in you, Karen. Please, take our love.We’ve stored your things in a safe place.We will protect you now.

That’s what I want for Christmas.I do think I deserve to know. I deserve the truth to why they so easily buried me. I was their sister, their mother, their daughter…and I know I’m worth it. Until then, you won’t see Christmas coming from me. I won’t be decorating or celebrating. No. God is always in my life. I don’t need a special day to praise Him or His Son.

Get Your Copy Today!

Paperback: Silent Abuse: Scream NO MORE!: You’re in Depression. You’re Not Losing Your Mind. You’re Just Doing the Time. Book 7

Kindle: Silent Abuse: Scream NO MORE!: You’re in Depression. You’re Not Losing Your Mind. You’re Just Doing the Time. Book 7

Additional Readings On The Law of Attraction, Spirituality and the Mind

(Each page has loads of additional books (in every format), videos, instruction materials, and inspiration gift ideas.):

Battle Field of The Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind by Joyce Meyer

Cathechism of the Catholic Church Published by Doubleday

Chicken Soup for the Soul by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Amy Newmark

Christ the King Lord of History by Anne W. Carrol

Daily Devotions: Wisdom From the Bible to Light Your Way by Gerard Kalan

Essence of the Heart Sutra by The Dalai Lama

Fasting to Freedom: A Revolution of Body and Spirit by Ron Langerquist

Money, and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Wealth, Health, and Happiness by Esther and Jerry Hicks

Mystical Traveler: How to Advance to a Higher Level of Spirituality by Sylvia Brown

No Matter What! 9 Steps to Living the Life You Love by Lisa Nichols

Notes from the Universe: New Perspectives from an Old Friend by Mike Dooley

Peace, Prosperity and the Coming Holocaust: The New Age Movement in Prophecy by Dave Hunt

Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife by Eben Alexander, M.D.

The Answer: Grow Any Business, Achieve Financial Freedom, and Live an Extraordinary Life by John Assaraf and Murray Smith

The Astonishing Power of Emotions: Let Your Feelings Be Your Guide by Esther and Jerry Hicks

The Daily Bible In Chronological Order 365 Daily Readings New International Version

The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham by Esther and Jerry Hicks

The Mind Connection: How the Thoughts You Choose Affect Your Mood, Behavior and Decisions by Joyce Meyer

The New American Bible Published by World Catholic Press

The Secret by Rhonda Bryne

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

War Room: Prayer Is a Powerful Weapon by Chris Fabry

Author: k. e. leger

I'm a writer.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.