Tag: mourn

‘Spaces of Real’

That place where you are no longer hurting!

A sample from Book 7

 Spaces of Real
  
 where do you fit in
 when you're searching
for truth
 –all seems a flute
  
 when you're pushing– 
revealing all you do
 just to get through
  
 when you talk to God†
 –each day
 just getting by
 wondering
how
this day
you survived
  
 knowing
because of someone else
 tears you try
not to cry
  
 over anger
you become
a hardened manager
 wondering
what it is
 that's
lost inside of you
  
 yes, where do you fit in
 –this society of fake
 lost in its self-absorbed wake
  
 when men are weak
 constantly
searching
 something always better
they seek
  
 hanging you out to dry
 without reasons of why
  
 leaving you
constantly
searching
 for spaces of real
 where there's no reason
to conceal
 what's truly hiding
deep inside
Continue reading “‘Spaces of Real’”

‘Pillars of Death’

Depression: The Feeling of Your Own Death!

A sample from Book 7

 Pillars of Death
  
 I'm an apparent suicide
 who took
everything buried inside
 ‒sprayed it out
like pesticide
  
 they call it a homicide
 raging words
was all it took
 for love to dry
 ‒leaving only tears
to cry
  
 slowly I died
 asking every kind of why
  
 why only anger's words
was enough
to cast me aside
  
 why my truth
was reason
 my life
 ‒its very existence
to hide
  
 my being
no longer resides
 in hearts
I believed
could override
 evil's prancing stride
  
 they all cast me aside
 for thoughts...words
 I could no longer
hold inside
  
 instead of holding me
 as these eyes cried
they buried me
 ‒an unmarked grave
 deep outside
   with bugs and flies
Continue reading “‘Pillars of Death’”

‘Veiling of Truth’

Speak Your Truth or Live in Captivity!

A sample from Book 7

 Veiling of Truth
  
 we start off life
 slow–
like a snail
  
 taking each moment
as it comes
 giving ourselves
time to breathe
  
 inhale
exhale
  
 we're young...vibrant
 over anything
we're champions
 we have mentors
 –someone always there
  
 pushing us
tormenting us
 encouraging us
criticizing us
  
 it doesn't matter– 
we feel invincible
 –strength
in our youthful hearts
 gives us one desire
 over anything
we can prevail
  
 so we take chances
 we jump fences
crawl through tunnels
 see life
as a simple funnel
  
 when we're derailed
 we take a moment– 
wail
 giving ourselves
time to breathe
  
 inhale
 exhale
  
 we get back on the rail
sail
  
 then life tips the scale
 –half-way point
where all just stops
 we're pushed over the top
  
 we try to sail
to no avail
 we start to see
 –the slow coveting veil
 the part of us
for others we curtailed
  
 bit by bit– 
small pieces of our being
 we willingly retailed
 leaving us
feeling alone and stale
  
 it's at that moment
 no longer wanting
to feel frail
 wanting instead
again to breathe
  
 inhale
exhale
  
 taking from our legs
our tucked-in tail
 revealing...opening
this perfectly placed veil
  
 it's at that moment
 we explode
our outpouring gale
 see me, hear me
I'm not for sale
  
 opening our truth
 putting ourselves
in plain view
 screaming out loud
this is what I'm about
  
 it's at that moment
 when life tips its scale
 all is unveiled
we see every detail
  
 who impaled
who drove the nail
  
 ourselves
  
 we chose to lower the veil
 we signed our own
bill of sale
  
 it's at that moment
 –tipping the scale
 our truth
to unveil
get back on the rail
 over our own injustice
prevail
Continue reading “‘Veiling of Truth’”

‘Silence of Me’

You Tend To Hang On. It’s Normal.

A sample from Book 5

 Silence of Me
  
 I look at me
I hear me
 wishing
I wouldn't be
hurting
 I ruffled the sea
this romantic bee
 twisting
words I see
 wanting
to be free
 saying
it's better for me
 misrepresenting
what
I want to be
 just you
I do see
 putting
all thoughts
free
 relating
what's
inside of me
 hoping
you'd see
confusion's deed
 all that I aim to be
all that I use to be
 my wanting
to be free
inside of me
 there's more to see
the outside sea
 wanting
you along side of me
open and free
 awakening
what used to be
  
 look at me
hear me
 all there is to be
  
 a wall closed to me
burying me
 deep
inside of me
silence of me
 wishing
I wouldn't be
  
Continue reading “‘Silence of Me’”

Breaking Your Codependency….

…and Moving On To ‘Normal’

A sample from Book 12

That is the question that I had to end this book with. Going through the trials in life are hard. This year I had to face my mother’s death and the destruction of my three-year relationship, as well fight more health issues while being 1600 miles from all my family.

Codependency had still a hard grip on me, but the anxiety that I had fought through was just about gone. I would have to go through a forced intervention to figure out what the true medicine for codependency and all those negative thoughts were.

Continue reading “Breaking Your Codependency….”

This Is What Depression from Betrayal Looks Like

A sample from Book 7

All different shades! No one handles betrayal the same…or do we? We rage. We scream. We yell and cry. What happens after that? Depression. How you handle it is up to you. Many times…we don’t have a choice how that plays out. The following is from the Introduction of my 7th Book in My 12-Book Series.

“There are things you have to do to take care of yourself during this stage. You have to get out of it. I know showing you how I got through the initial shock of it, will help you make through alive!

Continue reading “This Is What Depression from Betrayal Looks Like”

This Is What Escaping Anger Looks Like: Bargaining!

A sample from Book 6

You freaking bargain your way out of it! With a vengeance. Everyone will bargain differently. The following is from the Introduction of my 6th Book in My 12-Book Series. The Bargaining stage! In this book I will show you what the bargaining stage looks like. The fight is real! And you are not just up against your anger, but up against everything else around you!

Continue reading “This Is What Escaping Anger Looks Like: Bargaining!”

Anger Controls Your Every Emotion!

A sample from Book 5

Yes, it does. That’s why I felt compelled to write this book. Anger does some awful things to us. When you are going through something you really don’t understand and you don’t have the resources to help you, anger builds.

There was nothing for me to grab hold of. For you, you now have this book to help you understand how anger controls you and how to get a grip. The following is from the Introduction to my 5th Book in My 12-Book series. I hope that this book can keep you from making the mistakes I made.

Continue reading “Anger Controls Your Every Emotion!”