Tag: hurt

‘His Softness’

That which gives you inspiration to go on!

A sample from Book 12

 His Softness
(Sweet Man)
  
 there's moments
I want to cry
 in this aging bit of life
 ‒not understanding
what to fight
 he comes into my sight
  
 deep in my thoughts
 I get lost...caught
  
 then he kneels before me
 ‒my world gets lost
in his sea
 cradling me in his arms
 all that fight...gone
  
 aren't you tired of this yet
  
 his question without hiss
 we both knowing
we keep rocking a boat
 that just needs
to float
  
 yes
  
 my response in insist
 over and over...rowing
 untying
this knotting rope
 without losing
gentle's hope
  
 feeling it all melt away
 with soft words‒ 
he has to say
 as he pulls me
in his sway
  
 I want this‒ 
not just for today
 but every day, in every way
  
 I know the truth‒ 
when I look into his face
 love...in every line
to trace
 as his black hair
fades to gray
 by his side
I feel everything safe
  
 when he leaves the room
 behind...closes the door
 I'm left with my thoughts
 shifting deep
in my core
  
 yes, I'm tired of this
  
 love is far more perfect
 surrounded by his softness
 then sitting in a room
lost in miss
 his love
trying to forget
Continue reading “‘His Softness’”

‘Knife’

Surviving the Knife of Those Who Betray You!

A sample from Book 12

(April 21, 2018)—That knife becomes weaker when we gain the support of others, when we start to see the true meaning behind our life. That knife doesn’t come out that easy especially when you see everyone’s true disclosure.

There’s so much to say, then there’s nothing to say. I have this much on my mind: If they don’t want to see you, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, they won’t see you.

Continue reading “‘Knife’”

‘Do Your Thing’

When they’re paving the way for another ‘thing’!

A sample from Book 12

  'Do Your Thing'
  
 standing still, so rigid
 memories return, so rapid  
 do your thing
 words that seem splendid
 once before, becoming frigid
 leaving me in stupid
  
 words that shouldn't‒ 
but still stick
 like a repeated lick
too afraid to admit‒
 concentrating on self's wick
 leaves doors open for the slick
  
 that's just not it
 it's that aged-old skit
 played out...without a script
  
 distance begins the slit
 less hugging, more anger
 words constantly in twist
 ‒making the mind constantly flip
  
 there should not be panic
 when felt before
this tactic
  
 flip, flip, flip
 skippy, skip, skip
  
 the past's certain mimic
 leaves only you in chaotic
 breaking your spirit
 turning to God for guidance
  
 less comes the kisses
every ounce of erotic
disappears in a lick
 ‒the body is just an it
 you become invalid!
time with you, the omit
 things get drastic
leaving pure conflict
 and you are the reason for it
  
 how to be so quiet
 when affection‒ 
you can't even solicit
 pushed away...again and again
 leaving you frigid
 a body drowning
in an unhealthy orbit
  
 taking you're the reason
for it
 you're not pretty enough
you're too fat, too sad
 when...in truth's logic
their argument, distance‒
 all part of the already written
transcript
 ‒no need
    to repeat it!
Continue reading “‘Do Your Thing’”

‘Depths of Heart’

Mind your heart or others will not!

A sample from Book 11

 Depths of Heart
  
 protecting self‒ 
not letting any other
 put it on a shelf
 seems to be utmost important
 ‒above anything else
  
 for in self
happiness lies
 rises high
above health
any amount of wealth
 ‒pulling the heart
out of hell
 out of the darkest well
  
 for in truth heart dwells
 untied from man's inhuman belt
 released from whatever shelf
man tries to impel
 keeping the heart from melt
 ‒happiness locked in a cell
  
 get out, get out
see yourself‒
 way deep inside
where happiness compels
 in heart
where it truly swells
Continue reading “‘Depths of Heart’”

‘Source’

Anxiety created from the fight against codependency!

A sample from Book 11

  Source
  
 she waits‒ 
closes her eyes
 breathes deep
 ‒her face tingles
her heart races
 her palms sweat‒
 a heat under her skin
rises...coming quick
  
 shh...she repeats to herself
  
 each sound
each speck of light

 builds the burning

she fights
  
 shh...again and again
  
 don't do it...not again
 she begs repeatedly
  
 settle down, please
  
 begging, begging

   the exploding need 
 
 building, building
  
 forcing her mouth closed
 forcing her body steal
 ‒as tears stream down her face
  
 begging, begging
  
 can't you see...anyone
 can't you see
I'm trying, trying...
 my grip is slipping...
  
 as she loses control‒
 her mouth yells
or her tears fall
 ‒no matter who's around
 down, down, down
she falls
  
 back to a child‒ 
innocent, broken
 just for a while
  
 'til she regains
strengthens
 to go
one more round
in life's paradigm
 where between herself
and herself
she fights
  
 hoping, hoping
  
 the next time‒ 
she'll steady the line
 ‒that too often...
 breaks her holding-together vine
  
Continue reading “‘Source’”

‘Truth’

Racism, hate: Evil’s best friends. Don’t let it consume you!

A sample from Book 11

 Truth
  
 liars seek truth‒
 falsifying a life
without any light
  
 manipulation...their due
 cutting it on cue
 ‒without noticing
the coming dues
  
 their belief‒ 
trying to convince you
 all they do
true, true, true
 backing them‒ 
there are few
  
 their spots change
sending you to the loo
 oh! what to do?
 ‒without cursing them, too
  
 truth is truth
existing
no half truths
 ‒it's either all true
 or just makings
of a waterloo
Continue reading “‘Truth’”

‘Disillusionment’

When politics blinds your truth!

A sample from Book 11

 Disillusionment  

 she stood there shaking
 what have I done‒
 causing this imagined awakening
 ‒have I forsaken
 forgive me, Lord†
ease this hating
  
 in her silence
her heart opened
 ‒a simple token
 what truly lived
in this here maiden
  
 she watched them all
 as the stones began to fall
 ‒to her knees
no longer...she felt tall
 over and over
coming at her skin‒
 little hard balls
  
 then a sudden stall
stopped...silence
 a mere moment
she recalled
  
 the dust settled
 her tightly closed eyes opened
 upon her dress‒
 tiny red splattered drops dribbled
 her pain...tiny tickles
 what...a blink before‒ 
it seemed a fable
  
 her fear lifted‒  
was this a gift
 her sins shifting
to ultimate's forgiveness
 ‒this she did not know
 but the sudden stop
 ‒she felt her heart unfold
  
 cast your stone‒ 
if clean...your bones
  
 she heard the voice
then the made choice
 as all around
stone after stone
 hit...not her
but the ground
  
 silence remained
she still knelt‒
 in blood stains
 as shifting of feet
the sudden in retreat
  
 silence...not daring
to lift her head
 then a shadow overcame the red
 a hand reached out
get up child
 a mere whisper without shout
  
 strength from Him† came
 as her legs rose
 ‒her eyes did the same
  
 His† light dried her tears
 all became so clear‒ 
her heart felt clean
 in His† eyes...she seen‒ 
truth's unending scene
 her life redeemed
it wasn't a dream
 ‒pure and serene
forever...trust in Him†
 she proclaimed
 for the Lord†...by her side
remained
Continue reading “‘Disillusionment’”

‘My Turn, Your Turn’

You can’t take other people’s opinion of you seriously!

A sample from Book 9

 My Turn, Your Turn
(Sweet Man)
  
 I'm not you
you're not me
 in this
can we agree
  
 there's pain‒ 
I've taken it
to gain
 thinking‒ 
I'm insane
  
 me...you blamed
called me names
 ‒your smeared campaign
left me in open terrain
 running like a hurricane
 ‒remorse uncontained
 returning
provoked disdain
 batting back
in profane
my I...redirected blame
 taking, absorbing‒  
leaving me totally drained
  
 ‒all so, so in vain‒
  
 in you...pain remains
 ‒I've not gained fame
just added pain
 in me...a mixed-up pang
  
 I'm not you
you're not me
 in this
can we agree
  
 without shame‒ 
from all other's pain
abstain
 my I to reclaim‒
 separated...strained
silencing the rein
 my own thinking
regained
  
 in God†
I acclaim
 ‒all that re-directed pain
 forced anger
in defame‒ 
abolished...maimed
  
 I've released the inflame‒
 filling my own inane
 understanding self-love's domain‒
 to self first
be humane
  
 I'm not you
you're not me
 in this
can we agree
  
 your pain
is your pain
  
 no longer
in me
do I ingrain
 what's not mine
to explain
  
 I'll let you yell, complain‒
 my I...constrained
 these boundaries
can't be drained
  
 have your say
 me...you can't arraign
 my I...in God's† grace
remains
  
 I'm not you
you're not me
 in this
there's no choice
  but to agree
Continue reading “‘My Turn, Your Turn’”

‘360’

You have to re-examine the past first!

A sample from Book 9

 360
  
 Lord†, You† took me
around
 sound, bound, found
then back around
  
 ‒a 360
showing me what's wrong‒
 all around me
  
 I've seen plenty
 I know in surety‒ 
it's not me
 round and round
 ‒every degree
 others can't see clarity
 in self‒  
running on empty
  
 Lord†, I thank You†
 I would have never
known‒
 all this view
if it weren't for You†
 taking me through
  
 I pray
these words‒ 
I have to say
 some call
silly riddles
 ‒but standing on principles
 breaks hearts
after all
  
 like the roundness
of balls
 we surely fall
 ‒after the sudden
stall
  
 the total...360
round, round
 I openly see‒ 
after tears
 I'm ready to be
what in me
You† see
  
 Lord†, in Your† hands
 I place me
this journey‒ 
back in trust
 forward...I'm ready
for the thrust
Continue reading “‘360’”

‘Troubled Soul’

Other people’s issues are not yours!

A sample from Book 9

  Troubled Soul
  
 your mixed personality
 doesn't blend with reality
  
 your verbal kindness
 doesn't add to
your stalking rudeness
  
 returning to reality
 ‒stripping all vulnerability
 takes...taking responsibility‒
 actions of self
before experiencing life...truly
  
 changing personalities
 doesn't insure securities
 needed‒ 
to strengthen possibilities
  
 living in denial
mile after mile‒
 brings the mind
to crash
heading south‒
 once there
 ‒getting there
 you can only ask...how
  
 take a look inside
your round and round ride
 ‒a mind in hide
never subsides
 'til you stop for a while
 sink in like a child‒ 
all your wounds...untie
  
 open that book
given by God†
 look deep...deep into your I
 write down your whys
all that pain
 bringing you to hide‒ 
all those cries
  
 all those ancient words‒
 so many have heard
 let them be your guide
it takes time
  
 people won't untie‒ 
all those knots inside
 ‒admittance...of self
 the help of only God†‒ 
your only needed drive
 way...way deep inside
 ‒then He'll† show you
how to fly
 without you‒ 
   having to ask why
Continue reading “‘Troubled Soul’”