‘Pillars of Death’

Depression: The Feeling of Your Own Death!

A sample from Book 7

 Pillars of Death
 
I'm an apparent suicide
who took
everything buried inside
‒sprayed it out
like pesticide
 
they call it a homicide
raging words
was all it took
for love to dry
‒leaving only tears
to cry
 
slowly I died
asking every kind of why
 
why only anger's words
was enough
to cast me aside
 
why my truth
was reason
my life
‒its very existence
to hide
 
my being
no longer resides
in hearts
I believed
could override
evil's prancing stride
 
they all cast me aside
for thoughts...words
I could no longer
hold inside
 
instead of holding me
as these eyes cried
they buried me
‒an unmarked grave
deep outside
with bugs and flies
Continue reading “‘Pillars of Death’”

‘Dying House’ and ‘Our Last Goodbye’

That Place You Have To Leave!

A sample from Book 6

 Dying House
 
I've watched you grow
together—
I thought we'd grow old
but our lives
have been sold
our hearts broke
our insides
have turned cold
 
your beauty
you're no longer
wanting to hold
 
I must go
it's getting harder
to cope
watching you
slowly corrode
piece by piece
you're starting to fold
this
a heavy load
watching
you turn
from a gentle host
to a heartless ghost
 
no more
are you
my threshold
 
soon it'll all explode
 
for the last time
behind me
your doors
I'll close
with only memories
to be told
 
 Our Last Goodbye
 
I'm shaking inside
oh! what a ride
between
your heart and mine
 
you were built
with love
we fit
like hand and glove
 
my hands now tremble
closer and closer
draws the time
when we'll say
our last goodbye
 
through blurry eyes
I walk your rooms
my heels slowly glide
almost—
an unsteady slide
touching your skin
—this rushing, emotional tide
 
many memories collide
you witnessed
my every side
 
within your walls
I stood tall
you saw me
humble with pride
then you watched
me fall
—victim to a loving homicide
revenge's careful suicide
 
to you
I can't lie
in you
I do confide
within your bones
my will thrived
my imagination
easily came alive
 
you were once
a dream
in my mind
you were my every inspire
it was a thrill
watching you rise
 
you caressed my children
as they grew high
you heard me answer
their every why
you saw me hug them
through their every sigh
then
you watched them fly
 
you saw every transpire
you heard me laugh
watched me cry
you saw love rise
then watched it die
without answers to why
without even a try
 
you saw me
struggle for breath
you saw me strive
to survive
then revive
 
reasons to why
our love affair's denied
mystifies
my deepest I
 
this emptiness—
hard to describe
it's all been crucified
—slick and sly
 
we're now down
to our last lullaby
our together forever—
nullified
that final day
will soon arrive
when behind me
I'll close your door
say
our last goodbye
Continue reading “‘Dying House’ and ‘Our Last Goodbye’”

‘Please Don’t’

You Learn What You Want When You’re Hurt!

A sample from Book 6

  Please Don't
 
please don't be fake
please don't break
pin this heart
with betrayal's stake
 
not much more
I can take
so please don't mistake
my kindness
as just a piece of cake
or some cheap bait
―a game to play
then leave me
in your wake
 
I don't want hate
I want a lover's fate
―endless arms
to saturate
someone to date
a night's playmate
a beginning to create
a life-time mate
 
so please don't
under estimate
or violate
my weakened state
for real
I'll wait
for real
hoping long
I don't have to wait
Continue reading “‘Please Don’t’”

‘Silence of Me’

You Tend To Hang On. It’s Normal.

A sample from Book 5

 Silence of Me
 
I look at me
I hear me
wishing
I wouldn't be
hurting
I ruffled the sea
this romantic bee
twisting
words I see
wanting
to be free
saying
it's better for me
misrepresenting
what
I want to be
just you
I do see
putting
all thoughts
free
relating
what's
inside of me
hoping
you'd see
confusion's deed
all that I aim to be
all that I use to be
my wanting
to be free
inside of me
there's more to see
the outside sea
wanting
you along side of me
open and free
awakening
what used to be
 
look at me
hear me
all there is to be
 
a wall closed to me
burying me
deep
inside of me
silence of me
wishing
I wouldn't be
 
Continue reading “‘Silence of Me’”

Breaking Your Codependency….

…and Moving On To ‘Normal’

A sample from Book 12

That is the question that I had to end this book with. Going through the trials in life are hard. This year I had to face my mother’s death and the destruction of my three-year relationship, as well fight more health issues while being 1600 miles from all my family.

Codependency had still a hard grip on me, but the anxiety that I had fought through was just about gone. I would have to go through a forced intervention to figure out what the true medicine for codependency and all those negative thoughts were.

Continue reading “Breaking Your Codependency….”

This Is What Depression from Betrayal Looks Like

A sample from Book 7

All different shades! No one handles betrayal the same…or do we? We rage. We scream. We yell and cry. What happens after that? Depression. How you handle it is up to you. Many times…we don’t have a choice how that plays out. The following is from the Introduction of my 7th Book in My 12-Book Series.

“There are things you have to do to take care of yourself during this stage. You have to get out of it. I know showing you how I got through the initial shock of it, will help you make through alive!

Continue reading “This Is What Depression from Betrayal Looks Like”

This Is What Escaping Anger Looks Like: Bargaining!

A sample from Book 6

You freaking bargain your way out of it! With a vengeance. Everyone will bargain differently. The following is from the Introduction of my 6th Book in My 12-Book Series. The Bargaining stage! In this book I will show you what the bargaining stage looks like. The fight is real! And you are not just up against your anger, but up against everything else around you!

Continue reading “This Is What Escaping Anger Looks Like: Bargaining!”

Anger Controls Your Every Emotion!

A sample from Book 5

Yes, it does. That’s why I felt compelled to write this book. Anger does some awful things to us. When you are going through something you really don’t understand and you don’t have the resources to help you, anger builds.

There was nothing for me to grab hold of. For you, you now have this book to help you understand how anger controls you and how to get a grip. The following is from the Introduction to my 5th Book in My 12-Book series. I hope that this book can keep you from making the mistakes I made.

Continue reading “Anger Controls Your Every Emotion!”