‘The Hanging’

When You’re Caught In Silent Abuse

A sample from Book 1

(2003/05)—In 2003, I dealt with a subject I never thought I’d known up close and personal—domestic abuse. Several very dear friends of mine experienced this, and I still don’t understand why they stay. Most importantly, I don’t understand why they hide and shield the person who abused them.

There is so much help in the world that, to me, staying is senseless. Love is a grand thing and if someone says they love you then they hit you—there’s something very wrong. Love hurts and it goes with the territory of marriage but physical and mental abuse is not love, and (in my opinion) should not be a part of the union of marriage.

(December 7, 2013)—There’s a reason why my family never comments on or reads my poetry. My daughter sometimes does. There’s a reason why most have me blocked. There’s a reason why my family is not in my corner. It’s a sad reason. Guilt. They know I speak the truth. So, instead of fixing what’s wrong with them, they place the blame on me. It’s always been like this. I should understand it now.

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‘Angelou’s Cry’

Still I Rise!

A sample from Book 1

(November 25, 2013)—[‘Angelou’s Cry’ was written in 2010.] When you are a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an educator, and work outside the home—all balled into one, you tend to lose yourself and forget who you are. It’s like you’re drowning and don’t even realize it.

There comes a time when you are forced to put the breaks on and say: Wait a minute, I’m a person, too.I can’t tell you when it will happen to you, but I know when it happened to me. It wasn’t an overnight thing. It took years…a very slow process, a very heart-breaking process. When you’ve spent years making everyone else around you happy and forget that you deserve happiness, too, you actually forget what made you happy in the first place.

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‘Actions vs Words’

Pay Attention To What They Do…Not What They Say!

A sample from Book 1

(October 16, 2013)—[‘Actions vs Words’ was written September 23, 2011.] What one does and what one says are two different things. Be careful what you say because if you can’t back your words up, you lose slowly everything you worked for.

In the same sentence, if one is angry and they say things, watch what they actually do because when someone speaks out of hurt, they usually don’t mean it and their actions will tell you the truth. Actions tell the truth about a person.

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‘Her Arms’

Where Life Begins!

A sample from Book 1

(August 28, 2013)—[‘Her Arms’ was written September 13, 2011.] Only a woman can feel this because in her body a life begins. There’s nothing on earth more rewarding then this feeling. There’s nothing worse then losing this person that grew inside of her either.

So, for all new mothers, welcome. For all mothers who’ve lost a child, we know. We do. And we, mothers, mourn with you. Love your child. Enjoy that feeling inside as it grows, then cherish every breathing moment after. When they go from your nest, you can’t protect them, you can’t keep others from hurting them. And always keep your arms open for even as adults, they still need you.

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‘Never Forget’

What Do You Stand For?

A sample from Book 1

(July 26, 2013)—[‘Never Forget’ was written September 9, 2011.] I remember, well, writing my sad, angry post…screaming, crying, ignoring all good, each day worse then the previous. I remember thinking all who told me there’s a light coming were wrong.

For a year and a half, I struggled. There were days when I didn’t think I’d make it through, didn’t want to.This too shall pass! It did. They were right.

The light did come, but not because they told me it would, it came because of prayer. When times are hard (and mine are clearly not over), it’s good to stop where you are and take survey of the bigger picture. There are so many less fortunate then you. That’s where ‘Never Forget’ came. It is rather long (I have quite a few long poems), but it is worth the read.

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‘Straight Forward’

Keep Going No Matter What!

A sample from Book 1

(December 8, 2013)—[‘Straight Forward’ was written in 2010.] I have to comment on this one. If you never read a book by Lisa Nichols then you are missing out.

In 2010, I was home schooling my children. Things in my marriage wasn’t so hot and hadn’t been good for several years. It was an on-and-off-and-on gig thing. I took the kids to the library and right when I walk in the door there’s this display of new books out. God has always directed me to a book with meaning. That day was no exception.

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‘Road’

You Just Gotta Shake the Fucking Dust Off!

A sample from Book 1

(November 17, 2013)—[‘Road’ was written in 2010.] We all travel different paths. Sometimes we sway off the right path and get hurt.

I was watching Tyler Perry today and he talked about the people who are just seasons and the people who are forever. He said that sometimes we get mixed up and make forever with someone who was just supposed to be a season. I guess that’s what happened to me.

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‘Basic Need’

You Have the Need: So Fucking Roar!

A sample from Book 1.

(February 2016)—I wrote ‘Basic Need’ in 2010. It was a time of confusion for me. The past, up until this point in 2010, was still robbing me of happiness. I tried, with everything I could, to forgive x for attacking me.

(The first time in 2005 when he slammed me up against the wall in our bedroom with his hand tightly around my throat, literally lifting me off the floor, with his other hand balled up in a fierce fist in that I’m going to punch your face in position, yelling at me so loud that I wanted to just pass out.)

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‘Enjoy the Journey’

One Day At a Time. Don’t Give up!

A sample from Book 1

(October 1, 2015)—‘Enjoy the Journey’ was written in 2009. I’m learning I’m no expert in this field called life. Since this poem was written, my life has been quite a ride. Like all the rest who have traveled this road of divorce and abuse, getting through is slow and painful, but accomplish-able.

I still have miles to go. One baby step at a time. Sometimes, there’s a backwards step and we have to push our self forward no matter what. Of course, what choice do we have. As it was pointed out to me this week: NONE.

People do us wrong. There’s nothing we can do about it. But we can use the experience to better ourselves, meet new people, maybe even help one or two along the way. I’m not an authority on abuse. Never claimed to be. Writing these poems have helped me get through. Sharing them began as a simple choice of sharing. It still is.

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‘Featured Hand’

The ‘Swing of the Pendulum’ Explained

A sample from Book 1

(March 22, 2016)—[‘Featured Hand’ was written in 2007.] The following was written in 2016 as the date noted. I wrote a lot in 2016 because that year I did the bulk of the formatting of My 12-Book Series. I didn’t know then that I’d end up with 12 and not 9 books. I didn’t know when I wrote this post that I’d be writing on my website in Las Vegas living with the sweet man who is no longer part of my life.

During the time of this writing, March, we were talking (he was the one who suggested I be more private in my life), and my stalker (the sweet man’s ex) was harassing me to the point of insanity. It would continue for the rest of 2016 and part of 2017 when we moved here to Vegas. I didn’t know it was all part of the narcissist triangle insanity. I didn’t know that all the anxiety and illness that I would face as my mother’s illness became worse, would bring me more strife inside my home. I didn’t know the sweet man would turn on me in such a foul way. I didn’t know a lot of things. But there are reasons for everything. The swing of the pendulum!

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