‘Knife’

Surviving the Knife of Those Who Betray You!

A sample from Book 12

(April 21, 2018)—That knife becomes weaker when we gain the support of others, when we start to see the true meaning behind our life. That knife doesn’t come out that easy especially when you see everyone’s true disclosure.

There’s so much to say, then there’s nothing to say. I have this much on my mind: If they don’t want to see you, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, they won’t see you.

Continue reading “‘Knife’”

‘The Bitch of It’

Sometimes you just gotta to be a bitch!

A sample from Book 12

  The Bitch of It
 
what the hell!
all of it
you hear that, you hear this
‒what is it!
 
first they want thin
then they want fat
first they want blond
then they want black
first they want
a down-with-it bitch
then they want
a church-going chick
first they want
the naught of it
then they want just sit
first they want
the free-thinking kind‒
intelligent and shit
then they make
the do-it-my-way dip
 
what the hell!
all of it
you hear that, you hear this
‒what is it!
 
first they want
drama-free tits
then they add the fits
first they want
the sex-driven licks
then they forget how to kiss
first they want real's click
then goes backwards the flips
 
what the hell!
all of it
you hear that, you hear this
‒setting confusion's tick
 
it's all the bitch of it
flip, flip, flip
when you're trying
to get a grip
the crap of it...clip
 
old bitches come in to sip
trying to slyly unzip
when down falls
their run-away crib
 
new bitches force in a rip
sending those pussy pics
flirting to get a hit
trying to fill
voids in the flip
 
for a secured woman's commit‒
it's all a big trip
a playground's nip
she doesn't have time to rip
‒quivering lips curl
to laugh's fit
because....
she's the bitch of it
Continue reading “‘The Bitch of It’”

‘Ex-foliate My Soul’

You have to leave others out of ‘self’!

A sample from Book 12

 Ex‒foliate My Soul
 
I still hear the winds blow
I know, still, from and to
the direction it goes
I depend, too much
on human souls
‒directing my emotional role
 
these feet‒
so stuck in muddy ground
I've lost the feelings
of being found
trying to understand
hear...every sound
I've stumbled away
from which I'm bound
 
raise me up, oh Lord†
unclog‒
these maggot-filled holes
rub your sands deeply in‒
pull me out
as you wash away clean
the filth
of this infested bowl
help me again‒
feel fit and lean
where I once had strength
of a lion
‒the sanctuary
of a crystal clear stream
 
enlighten my heart, sweet Jesus†
relight this drive
I so carelessly left behind
enrich my soul
wash away the corrode
so me, in ease, I can stand
on my own two feet
understand words in my heart
having strength to sort
‒without falling apart
 
yes, Lord†, raise my tempo back up
so I can feel, once more
the unstoppable me
‒that pure individual feeling
of being free
without the need
of another's glee
 
I open me up‒
mind, body, soul
I'm, again, letting go
so...whichever the winds blow
matter is not needed
for I'll be free again‒
in the total of
letting go
Continue reading “‘Ex-foliate My Soul’”

‘Wasted Not’

That Pain Is Not Wasted!

A sample from Book 8

 Wasted Not
 
you look at me
what do you see‒
an empty hole
or pieces
put back to whole
 
you hear my voice
what's your choice‒
to fold
let truth unfold
or close
grow lower and cold
 
here's what I see
when I look back at me:
 
a woman lived
gave all she could give
then betrayed
left to be reborn
on an empty tray
 
when I hear my voice
‒read my words
only truth heard
shaking within
‒forsaken
for granted...taken
 
all that I've done
all that I've become
grew from life lived
around lies
I survived
around hate
I lived another day
 
I have made mistakes
I've learned
no longer living fake
as the world turns
as time ticks on‒
leaving me alone
no longer burns
for life I yearn‒
no longer anger's will
I'm concerned
 
I am wasted not
for my trust in God†
untied all the knots
ready
shaking
nerves quaking
to give a new year
all I've got
 
look at me
hear me
 
turn your head
for I am not dead
 
alive
 
with or without you
I'm living this one life‒
shadowing all fears‒
my own way
without one word
for you to say
halt...stay
too late
you've paved my way
 
yes, shaking
but open and ready
for a brand new day
Continue reading “‘Wasted Not’”

‘A Woman’s Strength’

You Deserve Appreciation and Love!

A sample from Book 5

  A Woman's Strength
 
did you think of me today
no call came my way
underneath my smile I sway
no words do I say
I thought of you all day
as I rushed through my filled plate
 
early I started to bake
not long the house was laced
with the smell of your favorite
chocolate cake
 
the kids were at play
a new toy
one did break
one became the prey
the other screamed hate
peace...I had to make
clearing the haze
putting smiles on their face
anger left no trace
but it was too late
the cake―
I had to throw away
 
ring phone ring
I did pray
hoping you'd call to say hey
 
then the dog did stray
I had to move in haste
apologies to convey
the neighbor's yard―
a garbage-strung maze
after an hour's pace
a cleaned yard
done in good faith
 
I reentered the house
noticed it was only eight
my day―
moving at a slow rate
still no word from my mate
 
breakfast I did make
then the taste of toothpaste
the cleaned dish plates
no time to wait
everyone dress
screamed hurrah
 
to the babysitters―
who monthly I pay
to take my place
a goodbye kiss
a last minute wave
off to work
my smile...fake
 
then I remember
I hadn't ate
my eight-hour day
drove its heavy weight
still no word from my mate
 
rush-hour traffic
a nerve-raking state
thus beginning the evening chase
babysitter, supper
no flirter's bait
comes my way
sent the children
off to bathe
finally you call
again...you're working late
a quiet evening to waste
long, restless night
again...I must face
until you're home
and I feel safe
 
did you think of me today
no call came my way
underneath my smile I sway
no words do I say
I thought of you all day
as I rushed through
my filled plate
 
Continue reading “‘A Woman’s Strength’”

‘Anger’s Brethren’

Don’t Use the Children!

A sample from Book 5

 Anger's Brethren
 
its face is ugly
peeking through
little by little
building its soul
one small piece at a time
 
vulnerability
it patiently waits
then the attack
increasing the heartbeat
clouding
a once throughout plan
wilting the roses
rains replacing sunshines
beautiful language
turns to spiteful vengeance
over ruling logic
hardening
closing open hearts
 
its face is ugly
destroying all good
taking its time
taking all time
closing doors
'til love exist
no more
Continue reading “‘Anger’s Brethren’”

‘Her Arms’

Where Life Begins!

A sample from Book 1

 Her Arms
 
a beginning dot
yet unrecognizable spot
—growing
—becoming
awakening—
in nine months
a gentle gift—
left in a woman's trust
a journey’s first knot
 
bundled...wrapped
put in her arms
to protect
from beginning’s harm
to love
through each raised alarm
 
a continued...onward growth
eventually she knows
she'll have to let go
 
but for now—
with each age
through every stage
she'll wipe every frown
dry every tear
chase away—
night time fears
 
she’ll awaken each day
provide a safe place to lay
she’ll give her life
to make things right
 
for this newborn child
will bring each day
—a smile
for all the years ahead
she knows
there's nothing to dread
for God†
walks with her
each and every mile
 
so—
without regret
the break of every dawn
the close of every sunset
wide open
shall remain
her arms
Continue reading “‘Her Arms’”

‘Thrust in Turns’

Freeing Yourself From Codependency

A sample from Book 11

That’s an interesting question. It’s the biggest question that I tackle in my 11th book of My 12-Book Series. It’s a tough order. Just the Introduction was a tough order to write. The writing extensive and so was my life at the time.

Codependency showed its ugly face over and over bringing me to pure helplessness. I struggled. I fought against everyone. I was determine to find a way to break this crap. I refuse to believe that there was no cure. Everyone was lying and I was determined to prove it! Don’t be put off. There’s still another book that follows this one. Here’s part of my Introduction to Book 11.

Continue reading “‘Thrust in Turns’”

Anger Controls Your Every Emotion!

A sample from Book 5

Yes, it does. That’s why I felt compelled to write this book. Anger does some awful things to us. When you are going through something you really don’t understand and you don’t have the resources to help you, anger builds.

There was nothing for me to grab hold of. For you, you now have this book to help you understand how anger controls you and how to get a grip. The following is from the Introduction to my 5th Book in My 12-Book series. I hope that this book can keep you from making the mistakes I made.

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Silent Abuse…It’s Surprisingly Subtle!

A sample from Book 1

I didn’t know what the hell silent abuse was! I didn’t even have a clear definition to what narcissists was! I did after the year 2012! The following is from the Introduction to Book 1 in My 12-Book Series on living through silent abuse and not even knowing it!

“At times, we deny our reality in order to survive. I can’t tell you about your life. I don’t know you. I only know me—my own experiences, and my own emotions that went with them. I can say this: as I traveled through the darkness in 2012 and 2013, I met others who have experienced the same or similar ordeal.

I’m not a shrink, nor do I hold a degree in any such field. I do hold a degree in journalism and I was a teacher for seven years. By nature, I’m prong to analyze, investigate, question, and be curious about everything.

Continue reading “Silent Abuse…It’s Surprisingly Subtle!”