‘What Says You’

I am woman and my faith is my Choice!

 What Says You
 
defiance in its true nature
reaches those too immature
to know the difference
‒a veiled struggling creature
avoiding words of the one
true teacher
 
over two thousand years ago
blood fell on hands‒
those in the know
as they began to sow
deceptions made
of silver and gold
dawning black hats and robes
ignoring what Jesus† came to show
choices of ignorance
they choose
‒God† released His† grasp
His† hold
 
time slips in its venture
here and there...new adventures
‒words remain
from the one and only teacher
He† will come
without another lecture
He† will come
in storms of weather
they'll be no guessing‒
go on being the hater, the abuser
you won't have to wonder
when it's time‒
you won't deny
the presence of the creator
 
so go on...go!
be the reason
for destruction...hold
be thoughtless and bold
He's† coming!
He's† coming
absent silver and gold
He's† coming to decide‒
who stays, who goes
who rises, who He† shall behold
 
152...a good number to consider
ignore...it doesn't matter
He's† never been the taker
‒a constant in giver
lessons, tests‒
giving all chances in reconsider
now His† patience is on the damper
time is over...in chatter
get on your knees‒
be the prayer
change your heart
to the honest giver
repent in matters of sinner
‒time in choose
is now on the ledger‒
no turning back‒
He's†  becoming the taker!
Continue reading “‘What Says You’”

‘Channel’

Don’t change your independent self because of another person.

 Channel
 
a bird flies when its free
it stagnates
in captivity
its colors blossom
in variety
fading in ambiguity
‒plucking them out
in atrocity
 
in nature...the act in free
all the same
in its facility
a trapping technicality
‒being free has its complexity
 
as a woman
in her diplomacy
giving true
to her effeminacy
when treated
with significancy
 
when she's satisfied
in her sexuality
she falls into compliancy
even in another's complacency
giving up her self-sufficiency
even her style in flossy
being, at first
blissful in buoyancy
 
as it goes...comes the decadency
becoming aware
of the deficiency
–a broken down fallacy
as she meets each exigency
 
outward...comes her adamancy
as gone goes her sexy
–an inward building pudency
her usual controlled diplomacy
loses its bearing
to rampancy
 
as goes the controlling austerity
saving-money hostility
‒slowly caving
in her impetuosity
 
attention...gone its notoriety
even her newly shaped nudity
once praised with delicacy
gone...with looks
words in vulgarity
stripping
all her sexy naughty
–leaving vagueness
in commonality
 
lack of interest
opens a familiarity
once ignoring
so much secrecy
once ignoring the mendacity
pulling forward
all its perfidy
as gone...all her sensuality
understanding
its diverted generosity
she becomes lost
in recalcitrancy
–the precious kitty lost
to lunacy
 
all for giving her free
to submissive captivity
for the awakening
of her sexuality!
Continue reading “‘Channel’”

‘Shouldering Damage’

You deal and accept the physical damage caused by narcissism’s carelessness

 
Shouldering Damage
 
upon her shoulders
carries the weight–
shouldering damage
from those who couldn't stay
–a go-getter
they couldn't take
she...never wanting‒
any kinda hate
‒that was never
her intended fate
‒she let love lead the way
ending in heavy price's
to pay
 
only in moments
she lived in sedate
all them medical doctors
had to medicate
she just needed room‒
a bit of space
to grasp the idea
of her body ache
never using it as an escape
‒it hurt...and she was its bait
 
she knows she gave it all
she wasn't some pity rage doll–
standing somewhere in stall
she answered a simple call
–but others led her to fall
not caring the damage at all
 
upon her shoulders‒
she wears the cape
an anti-depressant to mask
a different kinda ache
–emotional chains
she couldn't tolerate
a burning heart
left in saturate
mixed with anger
lust and hate
screaming
without intentional berate
from love
that just couldn't stay
 
then again‒
she let love be her mate
a heart damaged‒
in too many ways
–again...a turn in obliterate
a brain burned in uncultivate
all that damage‒
on her shoulders
in blissful weight
men who couldn't bear
the cape
of her physical‒
being in waste
 
she knows she gave it all
she wasn't some pity rage doll–
standing somewhere in stall
she answered a simple call
–but others led her to fall
not caring the damage at all
 
she now wears‒
a suit of armor
from love's mate
as the heavy scars from fake–
I can't stay
you...I could only tolerate
builds her face
straight to a destiny's fate–
the writer in massive create
 
she...to never deny God
in whatever she faced
so she shoulders damage
left behind–
by carelessness
and self hate
building her rose‒
from a destroyer's
intentional state
 
she knows‒
she gave it all
she wasn't some pity rage doll–
standing somewhere in stall
she answered a simple call
–others led her to fall
not caring
the damage at all
 
oh! how
she can stand tall–
she picked herself up
from the fall
using the rest of her life
in God's hall
lost to true love's
missed call
she knows‒
she gave it her all
–it was not her
that caused
the fall!
Continue reading “‘Shouldering Damage’”

”Read Books”

Don’t Let Suicide Take You!

A sample from Book 7

 Read Books
(for Samantha)
 
read books
she says to me
write your story
she pleads
 
I see her sincerity‒
her begging
 
please don’t go away from me....
please don’t let hate win

 
I feel the hurt in her
‒so deep
when my words spill
I don’t want to be here
 
she’s exhausted
her please
 
please don’t let
suicide take you from me

 
so I fight
I stay
in this lonely world
created
just for me
 
for her
her sad pleas
how can I die
leave her
not free
 
so I must
read books
lose myself
in false looks
try to forget
this evil hook
and all he took
 
for her I’ll stay
make it through
another day
me and memories
of love I believed
of love which deceived
 
I struggle for her
try to hide this hurt
so her eyes
don’t cry
death...I push away
one more day
for her to say
 
mom, I love you
please stay
Continue reading “”Read Books””

‘Dying House’ and ‘Our Last Goodbye’

That Place You Have To Leave!

A sample from Book 6

 Dying House
 
I've watched you grow
together—
I thought we'd grow old
but our lives
have been sold
our hearts broke
our insides
have turned cold
 
your beauty
you're no longer
wanting to hold
 
I must go
it's getting harder
to cope
watching you
slowly corrode
piece by piece
you're starting to fold
this
a heavy load
watching
you turn
from a gentle host
to a heartless ghost
 
no more
are you
my threshold
 
soon it'll all explode
 
for the last time
behind me
your doors
I'll close
with only memories
to be told
 
 Our Last Goodbye
 
I'm shaking inside
oh! what a ride
between
your heart and mine
 
you were built
with love
we fit
like hand and glove
 
my hands now tremble
closer and closer
draws the time
when we'll say
our last goodbye
 
through blurry eyes
I walk your rooms
my heels slowly glide
almost—
an unsteady slide
touching your skin
—this rushing, emotional tide
 
many memories collide
you witnessed
my every side
 
within your walls
I stood tall
you saw me
humble with pride
then you watched
me fall
—victim to a loving homicide
revenge's careful suicide
 
to you
I can't lie
in you
I do confide
within your bones
my will thrived
my imagination
easily came alive
 
you were once
a dream
in my mind
you were my every inspire
it was a thrill
watching you rise
 
you caressed my children
as they grew high
you heard me answer
their every why
you saw me hug them
through their every sigh
then
you watched them fly
 
you saw every transpire
you heard me laugh
watched me cry
you saw love rise
then watched it die
without answers to why
without even a try
 
you saw me
struggle for breath
you saw me strive
to survive
then revive
 
reasons to why
our love affair's denied
mystifies
my deepest I
 
this emptiness—
hard to describe
it's all been crucified
—slick and sly
 
we're now down
to our last lullaby
our together forever—
nullified
that final day
will soon arrive
when behind me
I'll close your door
say
our last goodbye
Continue reading “‘Dying House’ and ‘Our Last Goodbye’”

‘Pulse’

It’s All About Survival!

A sample from Book 6

 Pulse
(Swinger)

temptations fought
wanting to forget
righteous laws
—all I've been taught
 
this patient jaw
yearning to drop—
release this tangled flaw
 
so I wait for him
to unlock this vault
raise my pulse
with just his walk
 
through lessons
I'm caught
hunger sought
I'm just a cat's paw
yearning to claw
 
anticipating—
hearing him talk
bringing my heat
to a boil
the scent of him—
I'm lost
 
not just an afterthought
—an immediate draw
seeing him
brings naughty thoughts
desiring
to be with him
in the raw
dance sin's waltz
put me in awe
 
temptations fought
wanting to forget
righteous laws
—all I've been taught
Continue reading “‘Pulse’”

‘No Goodbye Kisses’

It’s Not Your Fault!

A sample from Book 6

 No Goodbye Kisses
 
I walk around
this house
quiet as a mouse
my steps slow
not sure
in which room to go
there's pain in every inch
remembering
the pounding
of your fist
 
I spoke my mind
maybe a little too unkind
your actions
way out of line
 
hurt...anger grows
not understanding
not knowing
why you changed
why you don't see
how you made
our life to be
 
your continued rage
backed me into a cage
I yelled for you to go
each word
another silent blow
denial and lies
I refused to cry
stood my ground
tired
of being treated
like a clown
 
once more
you ignored
as our child's eyes
grew wide
you continued
your raging tide
stand up for yourself
words I taught
actions―
I couldn't put on a shelf
your finger pointing
your hurt anointing
 
I slapped your face
hoping
it'll send you away
 
instead
you pounced―
off the cement
my head bounced
slamming your steel toes
into my thigh
my hands and elbow
razored with holes
your continued blast
left me
in a frozen cast
 
our son grabbed you
against the truck
he threw
my mother held me
I don't remember
jumping to my feet
I kicked you
I wanted to hurt you
I wanted to maim you
I wanted to kill you
 
I walk around
this house
quiet as a mouse
my steps slow
not sure
in which room to go
 
three times
in all these years
you crossed this line
bruises on my skin
my walk full of fear
each time worse
in between
silent torture
not standing up for me
not even seeing me
 
a continued
losing journey
me
wanting a family
you
becoming an enemy
a stranger
breeding hate and anger
 
I walk around
this house
quiet as a mouse
my steps slow
not sure
in which room to go
 
feeling the pain
in every inch
from the pounding
of your fist
 
staying...I resist
your actions
crossed the line
 
no goodbye kisses
just closing the door
leaving it all behind
Continue reading “‘No Goodbye Kisses’”

‘Twenty-Year Itch’

Trust Me: It’s Not Your Fault!

A sample from Book 6

 Twenty-Year Itch
 
there's a glitch
in this marriage-is-forever niche
no one says it
when selling their pitch
they just say―
marriage is a gift
no more ifs
no more endless cliffs
but it's all a myth
for there's a ditch
from which
comes the switch
where love drifts
lies are rich
truths are a bitch
change is swift
 
heed this warnings' monolith
the twenty-year itch
comes from this sudden twitch
egotistical snitch
a labyrinth
a deceptive clinch
leaving you adrift
lost to miff
without even one
understanding flinch
Continue reading “‘Twenty-Year Itch’”

‘Changing of Tides’

You Will Make It Through!

A sample from Book 6

 Changing of Tides
 
an emptiness
fills his head
darkness consumes him―
wishing himself dead
 
around him
there's too much
filling
with a nothingness
a mixed rush
 
meanings of his life gone
what he thought important―
seems all wrong
 
a need
to just forget about it all
―drop everything and run
with not one once
of guilt
of those who'll fall
he just feels done
 
from all that was good
―it's easier
to just give up
do things
he never would
forget those
he once loved
start over
―a brand new book
those he hurt―
never giving
another look
 
denying blame
denying himself
just living life
from a shelf
is better to him
then standing for
what he really feels
in his heart
Continue reading “‘Changing of Tides’”

‘Please Don’t’

You Learn What You Want When You’re Hurt!

A sample from Book 6

  Please Don't
 
please don't be fake
please don't break
pin this heart
with betrayal's stake
 
not much more
I can take
so please don't mistake
my kindness
as just a piece of cake
or some cheap bait
―a game to play
then leave me
in your wake
 
I don't want hate
I want a lover's fate
―endless arms
to saturate
someone to date
a night's playmate
a beginning to create
a life-time mate
 
so please don't
under estimate
or violate
my weakened state
for real
I'll wait
for real
hoping long
I don't have to wait
Continue reading “‘Please Don’t’”