‘Channel’

Don’t change your independent self because of another person.

 Channel
 
a bird flies when its free
it stagnates
in captivity
its colors blossom
in variety
fading in ambiguity
‒plucking them out
in atrocity
 
in nature...the act in free
all the same
in its facility
a trapping technicality
‒being free has its complexity
 
as a woman
in her diplomacy
giving true
to her effeminacy
when treated
with significancy
 
when she's satisfied
in her sexuality
she falls into compliancy
even in another's complacency
giving up her self-sufficiency
even her style in flossy
being, at first
blissful in buoyancy
 
as it goes...comes the decadency
becoming aware
of the deficiency
–a broken down fallacy
as she meets each exigency
 
outward...comes her adamancy
as gone goes her sexy
–an inward building pudency
her usual controlled diplomacy
loses its bearing
to rampancy
 
as goes the controlling austerity
saving-money hostility
‒slowly caving
in her impetuosity
 
attention...gone its notoriety
even her newly shaped nudity
once praised with delicacy
gone...with looks
words in vulgarity
stripping
all her sexy naughty
–leaving vagueness
in commonality
 
lack of interest
opens a familiarity
once ignoring
so much secrecy
once ignoring the mendacity
pulling forward
all its perfidy
as gone...all her sensuality
understanding
its diverted generosity
she becomes lost
in recalcitrancy
–the precious kitty lost
to lunacy
 
all for giving her free
to submissive captivity
for the awakening
of her sexuality!
Continue reading “‘Channel’”

‘Humble of Mercy’

You Want It to Be! So Bad….

A sample from Book 12

(September 26, 2018)—

Praise for Joy and Security of the RighteousKeep me safe, O God, for in You I take refuge. I said to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing.’ As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom in all my delight. The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips. Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup; You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let Your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.―Psalm 16

Continue reading “‘Humble of Mercy’”

‘The Bitch of It’

Sometimes you just gotta to be a bitch!

A sample from Book 12

  The Bitch of It
 
what the hell!
all of it
you hear that, you hear this
‒what is it!
 
first they want thin
then they want fat
first they want blond
then they want black
first they want
a down-with-it bitch
then they want
a church-going chick
first they want
the naught of it
then they want just sit
first they want
the free-thinking kind‒
intelligent and shit
then they make
the do-it-my-way dip
 
what the hell!
all of it
you hear that, you hear this
‒what is it!
 
first they want
drama-free tits
then they add the fits
first they want
the sex-driven licks
then they forget how to kiss
first they want real's click
then goes backwards the flips
 
what the hell!
all of it
you hear that, you hear this
‒setting confusion's tick
 
it's all the bitch of it
flip, flip, flip
when you're trying
to get a grip
the crap of it...clip
 
old bitches come in to sip
trying to slyly unzip
when down falls
their run-away crib
 
new bitches force in a rip
sending those pussy pics
flirting to get a hit
trying to fill
voids in the flip
 
for a secured woman's commit‒
it's all a big trip
a playground's nip
she doesn't have time to rip
‒quivering lips curl
to laugh's fit
because....
she's the bitch of it
Continue reading “‘The Bitch of It’”

‘Do Your Thing’

When they’re paving the way for another ‘thing’!

A sample from Book 12

  'Do Your Thing'
 
standing still, so rigid
memories return, so rapid  
do your thing
words that seem splendid
once before, becoming frigid
leaving me in stupid
 
words that shouldn't‒
but still stick
like a repeated lick
too afraid to admit‒
concentrating on self's wick
leaves doors open for the slick
 
that's just not it
it's that aged-old skit
played out...without a script
 
distance begins the slit
less hugging, more anger
words constantly in twist
‒making the mind constantly flip
 
there should not be panic
when felt before
this tactic
 
flip, flip, flip
skippy, skip, skip
 
the past's certain mimic
leaves only you in chaotic
breaking your spirit
turning to God for guidance
 
less comes the kisses
every ounce of erotic
disappears in a lick
‒the body is just an it
you become invalid!
time with you, the omit
things get drastic
leaving pure conflict
and you are the reason for it
 
how to be so quiet
when affection‒
you can't even solicit
pushed away...again and again
leaving you frigid
a body drowning
in an unhealthy orbit
 
taking you're the reason
for it
you're not pretty enough
you're too fat, too sad
when...in truth's logic
their argument, distance‒
all part of the already written
transcript
‒no need
to repeat it!
Continue reading “‘Do Your Thing’”

‘Thoughts in Suicide’

When you’re driven to the point of wanting to take your life!

A sample from Book 11

 Thoughts in Suicide
 
I sit to write‒
I had a destructive night
one...again...I had to fight
get out, get out
I screamed in shout
then alone I pout
wanting to die
‒these thoughts in suicide
 
I gather the pills
then to the floor
let them spill
then picked up the phone
dialed somewhere
not to feel so alone
 
1-800-273-8255 press 1
my crying's already won
death won't come
I can't forget‒
a promise not moved to undone
 
she waits in my thoughts
the one in memories
brought
the one to the floor
pills fell
myself's destruction
caught
Continue reading “‘Thoughts in Suicide’”

‘Source’

Anxiety created from the fight against codependency!

A sample from Book 11

  Source
 
she waits‒
closes her eyes
breathes deep
‒her face tingles
her heart races
her palms sweat‒
a heat under her skin
rises...coming quick
 
shh...she repeats to herself
 
each sound
each speck of light

builds the burning

she fights
 
shh...again and again
 
don't do it...not again
she begs repeatedly
 
settle down, please
 
begging, begging

the exploding need

building, building
 
forcing her mouth closed
forcing her body steal
‒as tears stream down her face
 
begging, begging
 
can't you see...anyone
can't you see

I'm trying, trying...
my grip is slipping...

 
as she loses control‒
her mouth yells
or her tears fall
‒no matter who's around
down, down, down
she falls
 
back to a child‒
innocent, broken
just for a while
 
'til she regains
strengthens
to go
one more round
in life's paradigm
where between herself
and herself
she fights
 
hoping, hoping
 
the next time‒
she'll steady the line
‒that too often...
breaks her holding-together vine
 
Continue reading “‘Source’”

‘Disillusionment’

When politics blinds your truth!

A sample from Book 11

 Disillusionment  

she stood there shaking
what have I done‒
causing this imagined awakening
‒have I forsaken
forgive me, Lord†

ease this hating
 
in her silence
her heart opened
‒a simple token
what truly lived
in this here maiden
 
she watched them all
as the stones began to fall
‒to her knees
no longer...she felt tall
over and over
coming at her skin‒
little hard balls
 
then a sudden stall
stopped...silence
a mere moment
she recalled
 
the dust settled
her tightly closed eyes opened
upon her dress‒
tiny red splattered drops dribbled
her pain...tiny tickles
what...a blink before
it seemed a fable
 
her fear lifted
was this a gift
her sins shifting
to ultimate's forgiveness
‒this she did not know
but the sudden stop
she felt her heart unfold
 
cast your stone‒
if clean...your bones
 
she heard the voice
then the made choice
as all around
stone after stone
hit...not her
but the ground
 
silence remained
she still knelt‒
in blood stains
as shifting of feet
the sudden in retreat
 
silence...not daring
to lift her head
then a shadow overcame the red
a hand reached out
get up child
a mere whisper without shout
 
strength from Him† came
as her legs rose
her eyes did the same
 
His† light dried her tears
all became so clear
her heart felt clean
in His† eyes...she seen
truth's unending scene
her life redeemed
it wasn't a dream
‒pure and serene
forever...trust in Him†
she proclaimed
for the Lord†...by her side
remained
Continue reading “‘Disillusionment’”

‘My Turn, Your Turn’

You can’t take other people’s opinion of you seriously!

A sample from Book 9

 My Turn, Your Turn
(Sweet Man)

I'm not you
you're not me
in this
can we agree
 
there's pain‒
I've taken it
to gain
thinking‒
I'm insane
 
me...you blamed
called me names
‒your smeared campaign
left me in open terrain
running like a hurricane
‒remorse uncontained
returning
provoked disdain
batting back
in profane
my I...redirected blame
taking, absorbing‒
leaving me totally drained
 
‒all so, so in vain‒
 
in you...pain remains
‒I've not gained fame
just added pain
in me...a mixed-up pang
 
I'm not you
you're not me
in this
can we agree
 
without shame‒
from all other's pain
abstain
my I to reclaim‒
separated...strained
silencing the rein
my own thinking
regained
 
in God†
I acclaim
‒all that re-directed pain
forced anger
in defame‒
abolished...maimed
 
I've released the inflame‒
filling my own inane
understanding self-love's domain‒
to self first
be humane
 
I'm not you
you're not me
in this
can we agree
 
your pain
is your pain
 
no longer
in me
do I ingrain
what's not mine
to explain
 
I'll let you yell, complain‒
my I...constrained
these boundaries
can't be drained
 
have your say
me...you can't arraign
my I...in God's† grace
remains
 
I'm not you
you're not me
in this
there's no choice
but to agree
Continue reading “‘My Turn, Your Turn’”

‘Ends of Ropes’

If They Did It Once, They’ll Do It Again!

A sample from Book 8

 Ends of Ropes
 
look at its threads‒
each line
blending in fine
carefully woven
 
notice its variations
notice what stays
real out of charade
‒the weak
break off
slip away
so strength
doesn't starve
doesn't fade
 
its fine threads
continue their blend
return to straight
when comes a bend
 
with tender care
grows these single lines
with love...hope
combine
to thickness of ropes
 
growing, growing
with decency of time
harmony's kind
 
it's a pleasurable watch
tic, tic
around the clock
when unexpected knots
slip out
longer, longer
tighter, tighter
strength‒
strangles doubt
 
unassureness ends
awakens
again
growing, growing
longer, longer
tighter, tighter
 
be careful
oh so gentle
lost of hopes
easily tangles
those ends of ropes
‒halting grow
with single knots
stopping clocks
meant
to stay
unlocked
Continue reading “‘Ends of Ropes’”

‘Use It To Be It’

What ‘Not’ To Do When It Comes To Your Past!

A sample from Book 8

 Use It To Be It
 
it happened‒
look back there
once, twice, thrice
‒don’t stay there
 
turn that wayward stare
towards something rare
 
turn that experience
into deliverance
 
he may have gotten you
clouded your view‒
that hidden abuse
that traditional muse
 
demanding traits of you
change your clothes
‒that too
so subtle, so quiet
 
you went along
after all‒
you had a home
someone
to call your own
 
time ticks
‘til matters click
change comes quick
 
only for you‒
 
he’s his own game
inside...the same
hiding from you
‘til open...wide
clear becomes the view
 
you fell hard
that knife
beyond sharp
 
but here you are
wearing
a survivor’s star
wondering‒
lies where
your somewhere
 
from back there
turn that clouded stare
‒things begin to clear  

don’t put that past
totally in the rear
 
take it‒
use it with class
bettering you
pave an avenue
 
‒there’s no excuse
only you
had the view
 
share it‒
help others
overcome it, too
 
that place
out there
elevates
what he tried to kill
 
now
you’re headed somewhere
while
he’s stuck back there
 
there’s nothing to it‒
it’s just fair
 
his childish control
becomes
your gold
Continue reading “‘Use It To Be It’”