‘Knife’

Surviving the Knife of Those Who Betray You!

A sample from Book 12

(April 21, 2018)—That knife becomes weaker when we gain the support of others, when we start to see the true meaning behind our life. That knife doesn’t come out that easy especially when you see everyone’s true disclosure.

There’s so much to say, then there’s nothing to say. I have this much on my mind: If they don’t want to see you, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, they won’t see you.

Continue reading “‘Knife’”

‘The Bitch of It’

Sometimes you just gotta to be a bitch!

A sample from Book 12

  The Bitch of It
 
what the hell!
all of it
you hear that, you hear this
‒what is it!
 
first they want thin
then they want fat
first they want blond
then they want black
first they want
a down-with-it bitch
then they want
a church-going chick
first they want
the naught of it
then they want just sit
first they want
the free-thinking kind‒
intelligent and shit
then they make
the do-it-my-way dip
 
what the hell!
all of it
you hear that, you hear this
‒what is it!
 
first they want
drama-free tits
then they add the fits
first they want
the sex-driven licks
then they forget how to kiss
first they want real's click
then goes backwards the flips
 
what the hell!
all of it
you hear that, you hear this
‒setting confusion's tick
 
it's all the bitch of it
flip, flip, flip
when you're trying
to get a grip
the crap of it...clip
 
old bitches come in to sip
trying to slyly unzip
when down falls
their run-away crib
 
new bitches force in a rip
sending those pussy pics
flirting to get a hit
trying to fill
voids in the flip
 
for a secured woman's commit‒
it's all a big trip
a playground's nip
she doesn't have time to rip
‒quivering lips curl
to laugh's fit
because....
she's the bitch of it
Continue reading “‘The Bitch of It’”

‘Ex-foliate My Soul’

You have to leave others out of ‘self’!

A sample from Book 12

 Ex‒foliate My Soul
 
I still hear the winds blow
I know, still, from and to
the direction it goes
I depend, too much
on human souls
‒directing my emotional role
 
these feet‒
so stuck in muddy ground
I've lost the feelings
of being found
trying to understand
hear...every sound
I've stumbled away
from which I'm bound
 
raise me up, oh Lord†
unclog‒
these maggot-filled holes
rub your sands deeply in‒
pull me out
as you wash away clean
the filth
of this infested bowl
help me again‒
feel fit and lean
where I once had strength
of a lion
‒the sanctuary
of a crystal clear stream
 
enlighten my heart, sweet Jesus†
relight this drive
I so carelessly left behind
enrich my soul
wash away the corrode
so me, in ease, I can stand
on my own two feet
understand words in my heart
having strength to sort
‒without falling apart
 
yes, Lord†, raise my tempo back up
so I can feel, once more
the unstoppable me
‒that pure individual feeling
of being free
without the need
of another's glee
 
I open me up‒
mind, body, soul
I'm, again, letting go
so...whichever the winds blow
matter is not needed
for I'll be free again‒
in the total of
letting go
Continue reading “‘Ex-foliate My Soul’”

‘Spaces of Real’

That place where you are no longer hurting!

A sample from Book 7

 Spaces of Real
 
where do you fit in
when you're searching
for truth
–all seems a flute
 
when you're pushing–
revealing all you do
just to get through
 
when you talk to God†
–each day
just getting by
wondering
how
this day
you survived
 
knowing
because of someone else
tears you try
not to cry
 
over anger
you become
a hardened manager
wondering
what it is
that's
lost inside of you
 
yes, where do you fit in
–this society of fake
lost in its self-absorbed wake
 
when men are weak
constantly
searching
something always better
they seek
 
hanging you out to dry
without reasons of why
 
leaving you
constantly
searching
for spaces of real
where there's no reason
to conceal
what's truly hiding
deep inside
Continue reading “‘Spaces of Real’”

‘Wasted Not’

That Pain Is Not Wasted!

A sample from Book 8

 Wasted Not
 
you look at me
what do you see‒
an empty hole
or pieces
put back to whole
 
you hear my voice
what's your choice‒
to fold
let truth unfold
or close
grow lower and cold
 
here's what I see
when I look back at me:
 
a woman lived
gave all she could give
then betrayed
left to be reborn
on an empty tray
 
when I hear my voice
‒read my words
only truth heard
shaking within
‒forsaken
for granted...taken
 
all that I've done
all that I've become
grew from life lived
around lies
I survived
around hate
I lived another day
 
I have made mistakes
I've learned
no longer living fake
as the world turns
as time ticks on‒
leaving me alone
no longer burns
for life I yearn‒
no longer anger's will
I'm concerned
 
I am wasted not
for my trust in God†
untied all the knots
ready
shaking
nerves quaking
to give a new year
all I've got
 
look at me
hear me
 
turn your head
for I am not dead
 
alive
 
with or without you
I'm living this one life‒
shadowing all fears‒
my own way
without one word
for you to say
halt...stay
too late
you've paved my way
 
yes, shaking
but open and ready
for a brand new day
Continue reading “‘Wasted Not’”

‘Hype Me Up’

We Women Just Want to be Hyped Up!

A sample from Book 7

  Hype Me Up!
 
take me out of myself
‒off this shelf
 
teach me to laugh‒
spread my cheeks
show my teeth
 
help me burst through
show me happy's view
that's all
I'm asking of you
 
open these doors
lift me off the floor
give me off-the-wall reasons
‒smiling without ending seasons
 
I just need a little help
to be more than myself
 
show me what life is like
without all the hype
 
give me a chance
to really know
how it feels
to dance
 
take me as I am
be my teacher
not some
manipulative preacher
 
let me be
your choice
without a need
to calm my voice
 
yes, take me out of myself
‒off this shelf
put me back into life
reopen my eyes
 
let me giggle
let me wiggle
 
teach me to run
show me
what it's like
to again have fun
 
be my guide
let me ask my whys
take me out of this shy
 
teach me to trust
let me have my lust
let me throw things, fuss
 
teach me we are enough
‒hype me up
with unconditional love
 
show me
even when I fall
‒through it all
I'm still your number one
my I am
is all I need to be
‒all you want to see
Continue reading “‘Hype Me Up’”

‘Her Arms’

Where Life Begins!

A sample from Book 1

 Her Arms
 
a beginning dot
yet unrecognizable spot
—growing
—becoming
awakening—
in nine months
a gentle gift—
left in a woman's trust
a journey’s first knot
 
bundled...wrapped
put in her arms
to protect
from beginning’s harm
to love
through each raised alarm
 
a continued...onward growth
eventually she knows
she'll have to let go
 
but for now—
with each age
through every stage
she'll wipe every frown
dry every tear
chase away—
night time fears
 
she’ll awaken each day
provide a safe place to lay
she’ll give her life
to make things right
 
for this newborn child
will bring each day
—a smile
for all the years ahead
she knows
there's nothing to dread
for God†
walks with her
each and every mile
 
so—
without regret
the break of every dawn
the close of every sunset
wide open
shall remain
her arms
Continue reading “‘Her Arms’”

Breaking Your Codependency….

…and Moving On To ‘Normal’

A sample from Book 12

That is the question that I had to end this book with. Going through the trials in life are hard. This year I had to face my mother’s death and the destruction of my three-year relationship, as well fight more health issues while being 1600 miles from all my family.

Codependency had still a hard grip on me, but the anxiety that I had fought through was just about gone. I would have to go through a forced intervention to figure out what the true medicine for codependency and all those negative thoughts were.

Continue reading “Breaking Your Codependency….”

‘Thrust in Turns’

Freeing Yourself From Codependency

A sample from Book 11

That’s an interesting question. It’s the biggest question that I tackle in my 11th book of My 12-Book Series. It’s a tough order. Just the Introduction was a tough order to write. The writing extensive and so was my life at the time.

Codependency showed its ugly face over and over bringing me to pure helplessness. I struggled. I fought against everyone. I was determine to find a way to break this crap. I refuse to believe that there was no cure. Everyone was lying and I was determined to prove it! Don’t be put off. There’s still another book that follows this one. Here’s part of my Introduction to Book 11.

Continue reading “‘Thrust in Turns’”

Recognizing Codependency in Yourself!

A sample from Book 9

Oh! Are you in for a treat! I began talking about codependency in Book 6. I didn’t see the horror in it until 2015…that need to make others happy began to affect me in the worse way. The following is part of the Introduction to Book 9 in My 12-Book series.

To heal…to completely heal from abuse, you have to deal with the codependent in you. It won’t be easy. From this book all the way to Book 12, I fought it. You can do it, too. Trust in the journey and get my books…I do have a different answer than most do.

Continue reading “Recognizing Codependency in Yourself!”